Even Though I Loved You First

I wonder how long it has been.

How long has it been since we were together like this?

Even though this scenery isn’t unusual for us, something feels off…

And that ‘something’ is you, the one walking besides me.

I don’t understand your expressions at all…

Why do I… feel a distance between us…? Even though we are like—

—siblings?

I wonder how long it has been.

How long has it been since we were together like this?

Even though this scenery isn’t unusual for us, something feels off…

And that ‘something’ is you, the one walking besides me.

I don’t understand your expressions at all…

Why do I… feel a distance between us…? Even though we are like—

—siblings?

➹

~On The Way Home

Shizuka’s POV~

“…” (Kei)

“…” (Shizuka)

It’s been about 5 minutes since we left the school.

Since Hayato was busy with his club activities. I went ahead without him, and on my way to the school gate I saw my childhood friend, Kei.

On a whim, I asked him if we could go home together, however we haven’t spoken to each other at all.

It feels off… Maybe I intruded in his plans somehow… maybe he planned on meeting up with his girlfriend today…

Wait, did Kei have a girlfriend? To be honest I’m not sure, he never seemed to have an interest in girls.

Deciding to try and break the ice, I called out to Kei, who was walking next to me.

“Say, Kei…” (Shizuka)

“Yes!?” (Kei)

“What’s with that reaction?” (Shizuka)

That surprised me…

Kei’s sudden raised voice startled me. However, I couldn’t help but feel he was uncomfortable.

“N-no it’s nothing. Anyway, w-what’s up?” (Kei)

“No, I just thought… It’s been a while since we went home together, huh?” (Shizuka)

It’s been roughly two weeks ever since Hayato and I started dating.

Since then, I never had the chance to go home with Kei.

“By the way… Is your boyfriend okay with this? Going home with me, I mean…” (Kei)

Kei, who seemed to be concerned about Hayato’s opinion on the matter, asked me.

“Hayato said he didn’t mind, he also had club activities.” (Shizuka)

“I see…” (Kei)

“…” (Shizuka)

“…” (Kei)

After answering him, the surroundings grew quieter once again. 

I wonder why, if it wasn’t too long ago since we were able to talk so casually.

Then why do I now feel some sense of distance between us?

After a while. Kei, who seemed to be thinking something, slowly spoke up.

“Say, Shizu… No… Shizuka, can I ask you a question?” (Kei)

“Eh…?” (Shizuka)

My eyes widen, in shock, at his words.

Shizuka

Eh?

Why?

Kei, why are you…?

Why are they suddenly talking to me like I’m a stranger!?

I-I know I have a boyfriend now, but… you could still call me by my nickname you know…?

Even though such thoughts invaded my mind. I voiced neither of them.

Kei, who seemed to ignore my reaction, asked me.

“How did you two meet? I never heard of this ‘Hayato’ guy before…” (Kei)

“Ah… well—” (Shizuka)

I decided to pull myself together, and answer his question.

I told him about how I got lost in the entrance ceremony when we parted ways back then, due to Kei being chosen as the 1st Year representative.

About how I ended up in the school library and met Hayato, who at the time, was basically skipping the ceremony.

After that, we became friends, and continued to talk. He asked me as to why I never told him about Hayato.

To which I said it was his request, which wasn’t a lie. He seemed to dislike big crowds, and thanks to that, we usually hung out in the library from time to time.

“I see… So, is everything going well?” (Kei)

“Hm? Of course!” (Shizuka)

Kei was probably worried about how our relationship was going, to which I gave him a big smile and reassured him.

I’m lucky to have him as my childhood friend…

“You must really love him, huh?” (Kei)

“Eeehhh!? W-w-well… I mean… I-I do…” (Shizuka)

As Kei’s remark, I could feel my face heat up, I’ve grown used to this kind of thing. But hearing it from Kei, who seemed so indifferent to romance, made me pretty self-conscious.

At my answer, Kei gave me a pretty kind smile, however I couldn’t help but notice something…

“…I envy him a little…” (Kei)

As I was thinking, I heard a small mutter coming from Kei, which I couldn’t catch.

I was curious, so I decided to call out to him.

“Kei?” (Shizuka)

“It’s nothing…” (Kei)

‘It’ s nothing’ huh?

I was growing suspicious. However, I decided to leave the matter aside, and decided to ask him how he was doing.

“Anyway. What about you, Kei?” (Shizuka)

“Hm?” (Kei)

He didn’t seem to catch my question. So I asked him again.

“I mean, how are you doing?” (Shizuka)

Realizing what I meant, he seemed to compose himself, and answered.

“Ah that. Well as always, though I’ve been pretty busy with my class representative tasks.” (Kei)

“Heh~ I see.” (Shizuka)

It wasn’t a surprise that Kei was his class’ representative. He was reliable, and many people counted on him.

I even knew some girls who were in love with him.

Then, Kei asked me another question.

“What about you, Shizuka? Are you enjoying school life now?” (Kei)

It didn’t take me long to answer him, as I knew my answer beforehand.

“Of course I am!” (Shizuka)

I was curious about Kei too. Since I never got the chance to ask him, I thought it would be a good chance.

“What about you, Kei?” (Shizuka)

“Eh? Me?” (Kei)

To my question, he looked pensive for a while, however during the time he was thinking, I noticed one or two moments where he had a shadow behind his eyes.

I wonder if he’s okay… 

I thought to myself. 

➹

Kei seemed to finish thinking, and with a smile, he told me.

“I’m enjoying it, of course.” (Kei)

“Good to hear! Let’s both do our best, tomorrow once again!” (Shizuka)

I’m glad he’s doing good…

“Study properly.” (Kei)

What’s with him all of the sudden!?

“I’m studying properly, okay!?” (Shizuka)

“Sure…” (Kei)

“Why are you giving me that look!?” (Shizuka)

I was astonished at his sudden nagging. However, he argued.

“I mean, don’t get me wrong. I just don’t want you to neglect all that hard effort you did for us to go to school together… You must be excited to have a partner, but… please don’t neglect others too…” (Kei)

Bewildered by Kei’s sudden worries, I told him.

“You suddenly sound like dad… Anyway, the point is! I’m not neglecting neither my studies nor my friends!” (Shizuka)

“…what about me though…?” (Kei)

A mutter that didn’t reach my ears could be heard.

“What did you say?” (Shizuka)

“I said you are a child.” (Kei)

“We’re the same age!” (Shizuka)

We both laughed back and forth. Which reminded me of our old days, when there was still so much we could talk about.

➹

After some more chatting, we reached my household.

“This is where we part ways then~” (Shizuka)

“It is, then… see you around, goodbye~!” (Kei)

“Unn! Bye Kei~” (Shizuka)

I waved at Kei, while I was walking towards the front door of my house. However before I entered—

“Shizuka.” (Kei)

—Kei called out to me.

But… ‘Shizuka’, huh?

“Hm? Kei?” (Shizuka)

“Do your best tomorrow too and please… be happy, okay?” (Kei)

“I don’t get what you are getting at but… okay, I guess?” (Shizuka)

What’s he talking about? I’m not the only one being happy!

After my parting words, I opened the front door and entered. With some worries, still in my mind.

➹

~Sakurajima Household

Shizuka’s Room (7:20 P.M.)

Third Person POV~

In a bedroom which was adorned with a great amount of stuffed plushies, along with all the walls painted a deep-blue, there was a girl laying on her bed.

Short black hair, with two beautiful cerulean eyes, was Shizuka Sakurajima, thinking about today’s events.

She noticed Kei’s mood during their whole exchange, one which could only be described as being in constant pain.

“Kei… just what exactly are you going through…?” (Shizuka)

A small mutter could be heard, breaking the silence that previously enveloped the room.

Yes, Shizuka was what people would call ‘dense’. Even though it was obvious to third parties, for some odd reason, Shizuka never noticed the feelings Kei held for her.

It was due to one simple thought.

“Even though we are like siblings… he could rely on his (self proclaimed) younger sister some more…” (Shizuka)

Yes, Shizuka never saw Kei as how women saw men. Shizuka saw Kei, as a little sister saw her older brother.

She didn’t know all the feelings Kei had for her.

She didn’t know why he seemed to be in pain.

Kei, why do you distance yourself from me now?

The memory of Kei, calling her ‘Shizuka’ rather than ‘Shizu’, flashed through her mind.

Kei, why do you have such a sad smile?

The memory of his reactions, when a certain matter was brought up.

Kei, are you perhaps in pain? Did someone… hurt you?

Shizuka… never knew…

Shizuka Sakurajima, was a naive girl, who even though she landed a boyfriend who was caring, kind, and funny.

The consequence that love holded, was one and one only…

The price Shizuka never knew she had to pay was simple… she ended up—

—hurting the person she respected the most in the world.

Days Until Family Meeting:

5 Days