Even Though I Loved You First

There’s something I don’t understand.

It has to do with you. Even though I’m happy, and even though you seem to be doing better than before…

Why is our distance increasing?

Hey, when was the last time we talked casually with one another?

We used to see each other every day and talk every day. But recently you seem to be slowly forgetting about me.

Siblings aren’t supposed to distance themselves so much, you know?

But I wonder… was this bond easy to be broken?

No… Wrong question…

Was this bond bound to be broken?

➹

~Latter Half of January

I’ve been feeling weird lately.

Well, not weird but ‘confused’, you could say… I can’t say exactly why, but it probably has something to do with the time I went to Arisa’s house.

I propose a visit to the Kamihate household on a whim since I thought I had a chance to thank her.

But when I started thinking rationally, I grew rapidly nervous. It wasn’t my first time going to a girl’s house (since I already visited the Sakurajima household a lot of times in the past), yet somehow I felt like I would die of shame the more time I spent there.

Still, once I started cooking the nervousness I felt started to fade, and in the end, a good time was had.

“That’s quite the amount of expressions you got there.” (Riku)

“That ‘s so?” (Kei)

“It is. I’m also quite surprised.” (Hayato)

I was walking together with Riku and Hayato, as we headed towards an arcade that was located not too far from our school.

“By the way, I forgot to ask. Hayato.” (Kei)

“Hm?” (Hayato)

“What happened to Shizuka earlier?” (Kei)

“And why did she forcefully drag Sachi once classes were over?” (Riku)

Both of us turned to Hayato, who was leisurely matching our pace.

Lately, Hayato has been adapting even more to being with us, to the point she could now speak properly with both me and Riku, albeit with a little discomfort remaining.

Back to the matter at hand. This afternoon, as Sachi was getting her things ready to leave, Shizuka suddenly bursted into the classroom and dragged her away. I can still remember Sachi’s shocked expressions.

“Huh? W-wait, Shizu?!” (Sachi)

She took a while to process everything that happened in such a short amount of time. And before we knew it, he was nowhere to be seen.

I couldn’t hold my laughter as I saw my classmates’ shocked expressions, and I burst out laughing when they turned to me with confused faces…

“I have no idea… she did say something about ‘shopping’ though…” (Hayato)

“That so?” (Riku)

“Well she always had random urges back then…” (Kei)

I wryly smiled recalling some past memories. Then, we chatted while we headed to the arcade.

➹

~Nearby Arcade

2:45 P.M.

What the hell am I witnessing…?

We arrived at the arcade about twenty minutes ago. However, once we entered, Riku turned to Hayato and said something along the lines of “Let’s make a bet on some shooting games shall we~?” With a whole a** grin plastered on his face.

After some provocation, Hayato gave in, and now—

“Not bad… but you’re still an amateur…” (Riku)

“Hah? Don’t underestimate me, you moron.” (Hayato)

—sparks could be seen flying between them.

They seem to be getting along well though…

➹

~About 15 Minutes Later

“Hah… Hah… Not bad…” (Riku)

*heavy breathing*

“Yeah… hah… I could sense your passion…” (Hayato)

“You two done?” (Kei)

Why are they breathing so heavily? They didn’t move so much, did they?

Both Riku and Hayato, who seemed as if they finished a marathon, turned to me, who was sipping on some iced tea I got from a nearby vending machine.

“Yeah… It’s a draw for today.” (Riku)

“I agree… well played…” (Hayato)

Areh? What’s this weird sense of camaraderie?

“Anyway, what are we doing next?” (Riku)

“Good question…” (Hayato)

“Please don’t tell me you two plan to keep going…” (Kei)

Such a pair of dumba**ess…

“We need a tie-breaker of course!” (Riku)

“Haaaah~ Why don’t we look for something quick to eat?” (Kei)

I didn’t want to continue looking, and we were getting hungry, so we changed places and looked for something to eat.

➹

“Chicken sandwich.” (Riku)

“Seafood sandwich.” (Hayato)

“Paneer Bhurji Sandwich.” (Kei)

“”…?”” (Riku & Hayato)

“What?” (Kei)

“No. Nothing.” (Hayato)

“Weirdo.” (Riku)

“?” (Kei)

We stopped by a sandwich stall, and after taking our orders and receiving them, we moved to a nearby bench and started to eat.

A silence surrounded the three of us, a silence that was by no means uncomfortable. All due to the fact that none of us tried to force a conversation, we just ate at our own pace.

And when we finally finished, Riku cleared his throat.

“I think I finally came to terms with my feelings.” (Riku)

“Oh?” (Kei)

“Feelings? About?” (Hayato)

Hayato, who naturally didn’t understand what he was referring to, asked.

To which Riku said.

“My feelings about Sachi.” (Riku)

“Huh? You two are like that?” (Hayato)

“‘Like that?’ What does that mean?” Was his response.

“And? What are your feelings?” (Kei)

“I–I love Sachi.” (Riku)

“Took you long enough.” (Kei)

“That’s interesting.” (Hayato)

Hayato nodded in approval of Riku’s declaration.

“But I’m still confused.” (Riku)

“Confused?” (Hayato)

“Unn.” (Riku)

“The thing is… it’s my first time falling in love… so I don’t get this whole romance thing…” (Riku)

“”Weirdo.”” (Kei & Hayato)

“Why?!” (Riku)

We both synced in response to Riku’s phrasing.

“If you want advice, ask that green-eyed a**hole.” (Kei)

“Are you perhaps still mad at me…?” (Hayato)

“Absolutely.” (Kei)

“Geh—” (Hayato)

I wouldn’t say I’m still mad. It has been almost four months since Hayato and Shizuka started dating. So you could say I’m already over her.

But it was more disappointing than anything that invaded my heart now. Well, thanks to Arisa that void is almost gone.

…

Huh?

“Well, if you want any advice, try and be honest—” (Hayato)

Wha–

“—That’s how most relationships last. All in all, honesty is the key.” (Hayato)

Why is…

“But if you want to know if you truly are in love—” (Hayato)

…

“—then try and remember her most genuine smile, it’ll make your heart flutter.” (Hayato)

“That, I assure you.” Was what he continued with. That was the matter, I was also confused since—

—the smile that made my heart flutter the most was Shizuka’s.

And yet… somehow… that image is being overlapped…

With none other than—

—Arisa ‘s.

“I see…” (Riku)

…

“You really are a great help. Hm? Kei, you dropped silent all of the sudden.” (Riku)

Riku made me snap back to reality.

“I was thinking about something. To be honest I’m also a bit confused.” (Kei)

I dumped the sandwich’s wrapping into the trash and called out to them.

“Mind if I ask for your help once I organize my thoughts?” (Kei)

I think I can finally see the changes within me. Little by little, I’m starting to rely on more people. Am no longer trying to keep a burden to myself.

In a sense you could say—

—that it was really thanks to her…

“Sure, I don’t mind.” (Riku)

“I’m not too good with general advice so… don’t raise your expectations.” (Hayato)

“Haha! Will do!” (Kei)

The three of us hung out for about an hour and then went our separate ways.

Still, my heart was in a complete state of confusion. Human feelings are quite difficult to understand, aren’t they?