Even Though I Loved You First

I can vividly remember that time.

Two years after I married Touya, I remembered how overjoyed the two of us felt when we got the news that we were going to be parents. Especially Touya, I remember how dazzling his smile was when the doctor gave him the news and even though in the surface I was overjoyed, deep inside I was—

—scared.

Being a parent felt like a heavy burden, and I worried that I wouldn’t be able to care for another life. As time passed and I learned I was having twins, my concerns rose.

Even though caring for one child seemed challenging enough, the thought that the lives of two children, who hadn’t even opened their eyes, depended on me frightened me more.

Naturally, I knew that having a talk with Touya was the best course of action and I’m glad that I did, because I was once again reminded of the reason why I fell in love with the man I can luckily call my husband.

“I understand how you feel, raising a child certainly isn’t an easy task and I understand you must feel scared because it isn’t one but two. However, I’m here, aren’t I?” (Touya)

He understood how I felt and looked for a solution accordingly.

Little did I know that a year later after our daughters Karane and Kotone were born, we’ll be blessed with a third child which we named Kei.

And like that, years passed and Kei was six and the twins seven, at the time I remember a family moving into the house next to us.

The Sakurajima Household.

At the time when we introduced ourselves to them, I never knew that her youngest daughter Shizuka would be a big part of my son Kei’s life. 

Kei and Shizuka grew together as they played with each other everyday to the point the two houses were good friends. Eventually, it was obvious.

Kei fell in love with Shizuka.

I remember how nervous he looked when he told us. Naturally, we gave him our support. But when it went unfulfilled, I didn’t know what to do.

Ever since I was little, I was told to deal with any problems I had on my own, my parents were certainly strict, and I felt that I was just a burden to them. And even though their treatment subsided (thanks to Touya’s meddling back when we first started dating), I still had no experience comforting a heartbroken child.

But I persisted. The fearful Kaho was no longer there; in her place, thanks likely to Touya’s influence, was a Kaho who sought out solutions to her issues while leaning on people who cared about her.

But I’m happy…

Remembering the late night chat I had with Kei, I can clearly say that I raised him well… He grew into an outstanding mature and handsome young man. Even though he initially kept everything to himself, he’s lately able to voice out his thoughts and insecurities as he finally knows that he isn’t alone.

And I can’t help but think that the real reason is that he has now found someone else whom he loves and wants to protect, and despite the fact that I hardly know them, I can tell that they share his sentiments.

It can’t be helped, you know? I love my children with all my might and I can’t help but feel excited thinking that maybe… just maybe… In the far future he would introduce her to us—

—as their beloved existence.