I Won’t Accept Your Regrets

He took out his lotions and performed a full examination. He soon said.

“Neither the lady nor the child has any problems. A long voyage will not be a problem for the lady. However, it is better to prepare a cure for motion sickness.”

“I’ll do that.”

“Oh, so this is a child!”

I heard Helen’s trembling voice standing in the doorway. I looked at her shocked face and then turned to the doctor.

“Let’s finish.”

“Yes, then I’ll… I’ll leave you.”

The doctor hurried to retreat when he noticed that Helen and I had something to talk about.

After he left, I quietly called for Helen, who was still in shock.

“Helen.”

Her trembling brown eyes gradually calmed down and focused on me.

“…Yes, my lady.”

“As you could just hear… I’m pregnant. And of course, a child from His Majesty.”

“This…”

She tried her best to hide her surprise, and the moment I mentioned Raymond, she covered her mouth with both hands.

I looked at her and calmly continued:

“Helen, you said you wanted to stay with me because you had nowhere else to go. I also want you to stay by my side. It is not easy for me to sail to a foreign country with a baby in my belly.”

“You are sailing across the seas… Milady, you don’t really want to tell His Majesty about this, right?”

I nodded, looking into Helen’s trembling eyes.

“I’m running from the Empire. And I will raise this child not as a prince, but as an ordinary one.”

I said firmly, then sighed and continued.

“Helen, you know how cruel the struggle for the throne can be… As you know, His Majesty killed those close to him by his hands, and that is how he ascended the throne.”

Helen’s face hardened as I reminded her of the whole story.

“And I don’t blame His Majesty for that. If  he hadn’t taken such a step, the former crown prince wouldn’t let him live.”

I remembered the horror of those times, froze for a moment and opened my lips again:

“The Imperial Palace is a place where fratricide is considered commonplace. In this game, win or die. There is no third. When I first found out that I was pregnant, I wanted to talk to His Majesty…”

“You didn’t tell him because of the appearance of Lizena and Edmund…”

“That’s right. I changed my mind when this illegitimate child of His Majesty appeared. I have to protect my child.”

“…Lady, do you really want to give up and run like this?”

Was it because I always tried to please Raymond’s heart? Helen looked at me with a regretful look.

I know what she thinks.

But I’ve already laid out everything I thought about Raymond. Now all my thoughts are only about my child.

“All is decided. But, Helen, if you don’t want to sail with me… So be it, stay in the comfort of this estate.”

“No, no. I’ll go with the lady. Anyway… I have nowhere to go, even if I stay in the Empire. I will go with you.”

“And I’m grateful to you for that. Even if it means putting yourself in danger, I will take steps to keep you safe.”

Suddenly Helen gave me a strange look.

I smiled and told her:

“I have decided to leave, and therefore, it’s time to prepare everything.”

* * *

At the same time in the Imperial Palace, in front of the Emperor’s office.

A tall man with gray hair, and a hawkish gaze, stood and looked at the door.

Carter Eyovins.

Leader of a knightly order, called the Emperor’s Secret Sword.

Despite the fact that he was the commander of the knights, he could only rarely be seen in the Imperial Palace. But if he did appear, the nobles disliked by the Emperor all disappeared somewhere.

While the guards of the palace were cautiously exchanging glances behind him, the servant reported to the Emperor:

“Your Majesty, the Knight Commander has arrived.”

“Let him in.”

When the door opened, Raymond, who was looking through the papers on the table, looked up.

Carter walked over to the table.

“Hail His Majesty the Emperor, the Sun of the Empire.”

“At ease.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

Raymond looked at Carter and said to the servants:

“Everyone leave.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

The servants left the office, and Raymond rose from his seat, sighing wearily.

He turned to the window and asked Carter, as usual looking at the peaceful landscape outside the window.

“Carter, did you have a good rest from the last mission?”

“I’m always at your disposal.”

Carter looked at Raymond, not taking his eyes off. His blue eyes were as insensible as stones.

It has been 10 years since they met, but his loyalty to the Emperor has not faded away.

“Of all my knights, only you can I entrust the most difficult things.”

“I never thought it was a burden to me, sire.”

“It hasn’t been long since your last assignment, but circumstances force me to bother you and give you more work.”

“What should I do?” He immediately asked Raymond, because Carter didn’t know how to disobey him.

The laughter disappeared from Raymond’s face.

Raymond opened his lips, his dark eyes shone sharply, and his sleepiness vanished as if by hand.

“We must go to the Western Kingdom.”

“As you command, sire.”

“And also… No… this is about Croft family.”

* * *

Freila’s dressing room, one of the most famous wardrobe rooms in the capital of the Empire.

The owner smiled awkwardly after she called me ‘Her Majesty’ out of habit.

I said with a smile that you can just call me ‘Lady’.

“I think that’s all I need.”

“Are you going on a trip?” asked the owner, eyes sparkling. She thought so because today I bought a travel suit.

They say that all rumors originate in salons like this.

The owner could no longer wait to ruffle everyone that the former Empress herself had dropped in to see her today and bought clothes for the journey.

One way or another, rumors will spread quickly.

I smiled, as if hiding bitterness behind a smile.

“I just need to cool down. As you know, I got divorced not so long ago.”

She sighed, you might think, expressing sympathy for me.

People like her have always spread rumors in high society.

And when the rumors about my upcoming journey go further, they will go straight to Raymond’s ears.

And although I openly said that this was due to the divorce… it would be easy for the owner to add spicy details to her liking.

Perhaps someone’s honor will be destroyed.

“Then lady Croft, I’ll send your order by evening.”

“Please do it. For now I will take my leave.”

“Yes Milady.”

Saying goodbye, I got up and went out with Helen.

I felt that the eyes of the salon visitors were all turned towards me, so I lowered my hat and left the salon.

And as soon as I left the salon, I frowned when I saw the following situation.

“What the…”

There were two carriages in front of the salon, and they blocked my carriage.

What impolite behavior.

“No, what does that mean, really? No manners, even if they didn’t know whose carriage it was,” Helen said angrily.

The approaching coachman said uneasily.

“I’m sorry, my lady. I begged them to move the carriage, but they ignored it. I couldn’t help it.”

Ignored…

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault.”

I looked at one of the carriages and turned to the owner, who had just left the cabin.

She was also embarrassed. Her big brown eyes darted in all directions.

“Please ask the owners of these two crews to vacate their place.”

“Oh yeah. Of course…”

Madame hurried back to the salon, and shortly afterwards a young girl came out of the salon.

I knew this face well.

Clementine Chase, young lover of the Marquis Chase.