I Won’t Accept Your Regrets

“And where did you hear that?”

His gaze ran strangely back and forth and still didn’t want to meet mine. It was clear that he was hiding something.

“I was just passing by your office and accidentally heard it.”

“It’s ugly to eavesdrop.”

He paused and finally looked at me.

“The day after tomorrow she will arrive at the palace.”

In contrast to his calm tone, my hands trembled, but I pretended that everything was in order.

“Lizena is a concubine in the Western Kingdom. How could she ever come back? She’s not just going to be with us for a while, is she? Is she returning to the Empire to stay forever?”

His eyebrows were slightly raised.

I don’t know if my curiosity irritated him, but I needed to find out the truth.

But he soon said:

“About two weeks ago, the King of the Western Empire died after a long illness. The crown prince is now on the throne.”

“Ah…”

Only then did I remember that I had heard the news. There seemed to be little rumor about the King’s illness.

“And what he did as soon as he ascended the throne was to clean out the palace after the death of the king. He released all his concubines.”

The concubines of the Western Kingdom were told that when King Moshidon died, they would have to spend the rest of their lives in a monastery. But letting them walk away like that…

“Now Lizena can return to the Empire again.”

He spoke relaxedly and drank wine. His frivolous attitude hurt me.

If I had become a concubine, then Raymond would never have allowed me to return to him after.

I was alarmed.

When I reached under the table, I heard Raymond’s quiet voice.

“Ellie.”

The sweetness of my name made my heart ache. I looked into his black eyes.

“Yes?”

“You don’t have to worry.”

How is this to be understood at all? At that moment, all sorts of disturbing thoughts came to my mind.

“I’m not going to give up on my promise.”

Promise…

What would you do if you didn’t make a promise?

The question stuck in my throat, but I couldn’t open my mouth.

“Nothing will change if she just comes back. I don’t want the palace to make a fuss about this. You are the only Empress for me.”

He said it in an indifferent tone, but at that moment I noticed some kind of excitement that was reflected on his face.

My heart sank, but I tried not to pay attention to it and smiled feignedly.

“Good.”

But the premonition never let me down.

Two days later, he had already forgotten what he was saying when he asked me not to worry.

* * *

“Your Majesty, can I bring you another dress?”

I was choosing a dress for an evening banquet.

But when I threw away a few options, Helen carefully asked me if I was okay.

At the time when I came to my senses and looked around, I saw the maids who were looking at me with a puzzled expression on their faces.

This has been the case since the news of Lizena’s return spread throughout the Imperial Palace.

I was often lost in my thoughts, and the maids felt sorry for me at such moments.

I need to get my thoughts in order.

I couldn’t let the rumors of my depression corroborate the rumors that Lizena was returning.

I lifted my head and turned to Helen.

“Bring me something special, I haven’t been out for a long time.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

The maids quickly took the dresses and went to the dressing room.

Raymond was supposed to accompany me, but I doubted it, because today was the day of Lizena’s return.

Raymond told me not to worry, but I hadn’t been able to sleep well since I heard she was coming back.

Then rumors reached me that today Lizena’s father, the Marquis, was going to host a reception in honor of her return.

It was rumored that the Marquis was so saddened by Lizena’s departure that he sent his second daughter away as an assistant to the king’s concubine. Apparently, Lizena was so dear to him.

Throwing a party in honor of his daughter was natural, but it was hard to understand why Raymond was going there too.

Is there any formal reason why he should go there?

There is no reason to go there as Emperor, but he apparently goes there as just a man named Raymond.

“Ellie, you know. It because of me Lizena left the Empire to become the concubine of the king of the west. You should be nice to her, if only because of her actions.”

He said that it was because of the command of the former Emperor that Lizena went west.

‘In the name of strengthening the alliance with the Western Kingdom.’

However, behind this was the fact that Lizena refused to marry the crown prince and was exiled to the Western Kingdom.

But the rumors that circulated in society were somewhat different.

At the time, the Marquis was in financial trouble due to a large fire in the country.

For the sake of her family, Lizena expressed her intention to become the concubine of the king of the Western Kingdom. Her father received a generous reward.

So it was believed that it was her choice.

Of course, Raymond might have thought she was leaving because of him.

“Ellie, I’ll just say hello to the guests. Lizena was so humiliated because of me. So I want to give her at least a little attention.”

He was already determined to go to the appointment.

Wouldn’t he have left so easily, and not thought about the gossip that would haunt me?

“A little attention for Lizena.”

So I decided to go to the reception with him today to defend my honor, which he didn’t give a damn about. This is the only way I can protect my child.

And I wanted to see how Lizena has changed over the years.

I don’t know, maybe it’s childish and mean, but I’m the only one who can support Raymond.

If Lizena had not gone to the West, now she would be standing next to Raymond, not me.

I want to put it in its place and show who is the mistress in this palace.

I felt lousy, like I had a stone stuck in my chest. I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly.

If it is hard for me, then it will be hard for my child too.

Now that I was not alone, I had to be more careful.

I stroked my stomach as an apology. Even though the child was still too young, I believed that I could feel him with my heart.

Besides… When should I tell Raymond about my pregnancy?

It doesn’t really matter if I say it right now, but I couldn’t say it that easily.

Because I didn’t want my child to become a lower priority to see Lizena.

But I had to remain silent. After a while, I will get nauseous in the morning, so Raymond will figure it out somehow.

I have to inform him after the noise about her return has subsided.

I felt sorry for my child. There was a bitter smile on my face.

Lizena was the only one whom I would never defeat, no matter how hard I tried.

When I was winding myself up with despair, Helen, who brought me a new dress, asked:

“Your Majesty, how about this gilded dress?”

The dress Helen brought in was the same dress that Raymond sent me for my birthday last year.

Dress made by the designer of the imperial salon.

It meant a lot to me, but soon after my birthday I had a miscarriage and I never wore this dress.

Will Raymond remember asking me to wear this particular dress?

Every year I celebrated my birthday, but I knew that Raymond didn’t choose gifts himself.

But this dress was not only a birthday present, but also a celebration of pregnancy.

He was really happy to hear that he was having a baby, so why not choose this gift himself?

I looked at the dainty dress with gold thread and said to Helen:

“I’ll put it on.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

The maids began to stir quickly and began to dress me.

I was hoping he would recognize this dress.

“Your Majesty, His Majesty has arrived at the Empress’s Palace.