It's Just A Picture (BL)

I got home and was greeted by Lily who attacked my face violently. She didn't scrape me or anything but I could tell she was passing on aggression.

Haha, why wouldn't she? I left work and came back a few minutes before midnight. A can of tuna definitely wouldn't cut it.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll bring out a few more cans for you tomorrow." I said while laughing towards the kitchen. "For now, let's feed you something else."

Ah, my life. I never would've imagined that all this would be mine. Well, I was happy.

I gave Lily her food and went to take a hot shower. Though I didn't feel cold inside, having cold skin didn't exactly help my condition.

'I hope the twins got back safely.' I thought to myself while taking off my clothes.

They seemed to act out of the ordinary today so I thought maybe it was because they took in a little too much alcohol.

Speaking of which, the alcohol was still in my system so I needed to clear my head before going to bed, to avoid staying up all night with unnecessary thoughts.

Yeah, alcohol made me have both abnormal and obscene thoughts, depending on the situation, and when too much, I act in a manner that's not like myself.

That's why I abstained.

That's a lie. I was down in life and depressed so I drank a lot and smoked too. But because I didn't have much money, I decided to quit both. It wasn't that hard, trust me.

When I didn't have money, it was far easier to stop.

There was no way to waste money I didn't have on unnecessary trivials.

That was over three years ago, after coming out of college and having no single luck in life. I toiled all day but no single opportunity presented itself.

I drank and smoked just to get the anxiety and depression off my back but then at some point, I checked my wallet, looked at the picture that got me moving, and asked myself,

"Would things be different if I didn't go into that study?"

Well, what's the use of asking questions when you can't change the outcome with your answer? I mean, it was already in the past.

Instead of wasting away, I decided to save up the money I was wasting on cigarettes and bear and use it on something more productive.

At that time, I was living in a place far worse than the studio I recently moved out from.

I was a mess, honestly. But I was able to pick myself up once more, feel motivated by the little picture, and start saving up for the studio.

I got my goal and from there, toiled, even if the responses I got weren't what I hoped for.

Haah.

I thought about a lot of things in the shower. Yeah, the alcohol was making me think again. And at the end of those thoughts, I thought about the twins.

I thought about how the twins acted and what would've happened if I let them continue like they wanted. So greedy of me.

I only concluded their actions as them being innocent because there was no way they would do such a thing, knowing what it was.

I really hoped it wasn't what the farthest part of my heart was thinking.

I looked at my nipple, the one Seojin had touched, and suddenly started feeling hot. Well, I was under hot water, why wouldn't I feel hot?

But, this was different.

I reached for it and gently stroked it. What would've happened if I got hard from his touch? The twins would've probably seen me in a different light and felt disgusted.

Ugh, my mind is so twisted. I can't imagine doing it with them. They... Who were just kids... Though they're all grown up now, I can't get the image of them being children out of my head.

Ugh, I need to stop this but my fingers seemed to be moving on their own, and from the pleasure I brought myself, I inevitably got hard.

"Dammit."

I switched the water pouring down on me from hot to cold. I needed to let go of such canal desires at all costs.

I could imagine it but I could never do it because my body still remembers the fear of it.

The next day, I went to work after leaving Lily with an extra can of tuna. Who knows how long I'd be out for again?

'Haah, I hope today will go well again.' I got out of my apartment and luckily didn't run into the twins.

I took a cab and off to Wailers.

After arriving, Taiha placed his arm around my neck, like he did the previous day, and started yapping about the dinner party but my mind wandered around.

I looked around and thought,

'It looks like the twins haven't arrived yet.' I felt a little relieved at that cause. It meant I wouldn't see them yet.

"Oh right, yesterday was a huge success." I felt glad to hear that but could he not put his arm around me when talking? "The board loved the shots."

"You showed them already?" I asked, surprised and he said,

"Of course. Time is money. There's no wasting time with such things then the cash is on the line."

I didn't understand much of what he said, but at least they liked it.

"So, I remember you just arrived yesterday and haven't seen your office yet. We were so busy so it slipped our minds. Sorry."

"My... Office?" I asked and then I realized he had been leading me outside the set.

"Yes, your office. You'll need one of your own if you're going to stick around this company and I know you're going to for a long time." He said and winked.

Haha, yeah. But that didn't mean I needed an office, right?

We stopped at a door. It wasn't too far from the set and not far from the elevator either. And then, he opened it.

"This is your office."