No, How Can an Atheist Become a Saintess!?

EP.9

Chapter 1

Candidate and Candidate (9)

“Next time, stash some canned goods too.”

Ria said, ungrateful even after I’d split my precious emergency rations with her.

“Next time?”

I raised an eyebrow at her, making sure she could see I was unimpressed. Her chopsticks paused mid-air.

“Well… you know, for the next time we need a midnight snack, wouldn’t it be nice to have some meat? Or maybe some fruit? Fresh meat and fruit wouldn’t keep, but canned stuff could last for a while.”

What a bizarre thing to suggest.

“There won’t be a next time.”

I replied, slurping down a bite of noodles. Ah, one cup really wasn’t enough; even if I finished the broth, I’d still be hungry. I sighed, blaming the so-called hero in front of me.

“……No next time?”

Ria’s expression was confused, as if she hadn’t quite processed what I’d said. Sighing, I put down my chopsticks and the little remaining noodles.

“Alright. Since I’ve been caught, I’ll be honest. Yes, I said there is no God in front of you. I did it to keep you here.”

“……”

“To be precise, the Mother Superior set a condition, made me a deal. If I convinced you to stay, I could stay here for another year or two.”

I explained.

“She… did?”

Ria sounded awkward, her voice a little hesitant, and I nodded.

The flashlight on the table was bright enough, though unfortunately there was nowhere to hang it to light up the room better. Even though it was illuminating the space somewhat, flashlights aren’t designed like lanterns, and it created a narrow, directed glow rather than a soft, full light. Ria’s face, or rather Lee Chae-eun’s, was hard to read

in the dim light, but she looked like she might be feeling… guilty? But I decided it was just my imagination and continued speaking.

“But in the end, you saw through everything, so it was all for nothing, wasn’t it?”

“Well, not entirely…”

“And besides, the reason I wanted to stay here no longer applies. I thought I had seven stalkers, but thanks to you, I found out they were actually just scouts waiting to recruit me.”

It wasn’t really Chae-eun’s fault, just my own misunderstanding, but did she have to confront me with reality like that? Honestly, if I hadn’t had to use divine power today, I probably would’ve been lying awake, staring at the ceiling until dawn.

Ria averted her gaze, glancing off to the side, and I let out a long sigh before picking up my cup noodles and the slightly split wooden chopsticks again.

Now that I looked closely, I noticed something odd about Chae-eun’s chopsticks—one half was precisely split, almost identical in shape and size. Was this what extreme swordsmanship training led to? Being able to split chopsticks so perfectly?

“Anyway, I don’t really have a reason to stay here, and you’re not exactly planning to stick around either, right? I mean, whatever brought you here in the first place, you’ll turn eighteen this year.”

Even if the convent wanted to keep us, both Chae-eun and I would have to leave by the end of May. That is, assuming we actually wanted to leave. Not that I’d planned to stay here forever.

Though I hadn’t told her this, I did know the reason Chae-eun was here. But that reason wouldn’t stop her from leaving once she became an adult. In the original story, even if they argued constantly, it was shown that Chae-eun and the Saintess had a surprisingly close bond. More than “getting along,” they were depicted as inseparable—constantly fighting but always trusting each other. I wasn’t sure how they grew that close, but it was clear Chae-eun respected the Saintess. She saw her as kind-hearted, dedicated to healing others, and exceptionally noble, despite a slight extremism towards heresy. She was, in essence, a pure-hearted and good person. Unlike me.

In any case, the convent and the church had laid out two options for me: either renounce my position or live as a Saintess forever. Given those choices, I’d probably choose the former.

“Uh… well.”

Chae-eun, who’d been staring at me blankly, suddenly stammered.

“Hey, that’s probably the right choice. I mean, you’ve been saying all along that this place doesn’t suit you.”

“It doesn’t suit me at all.”

I sighed softly.

To be honest, I’d always half-heartedly approached studies in theology, often dozing off during classes and lectures. If this were college, I’d be the student who’d ended up in the wrong department entirely. Not that I’d had much choice, of course.

Still, it wasn’t like I hated it here. I didn’t have anyone I’d explicitly call a friend, and there were sisters who didn’t like me, but there were also nuns who treated me well, even if they teased me. Especially those who’d witnessed my divine powers; they acted a bit more cautiously around me. And, to say it bluntly, the Mother Superior was like a mother to me for the past fifteen years. She often scolded me, but she looked out for me in every way. She even shielded me when I did something reckless, like sending a complaint letter directly to the cardinal. The priest here was a good person, too.

If I were to renounce my vows, that connection would be severed. I might visit occasionally, but I’d never be allowed into this inner part where I grew up.

Maybe I just wasn’t ready to leave, even though I kept saying I wanted to. Perhaps I was just making excuses, holding on for no real reason.

“You know… if you leave, I can help you find a job.”

Chae-eun offered, almost flustered, her cup noodles momentarily forgotten.

“A job?”

I asked, lifting my noodles again.

“Well, I’m a hero candidate, and my dad’s a hero too, right? Even if you don’t work directly with the Hunter’s Association, there are tons of places that collaborate with them.”

She wasn’t wrong. In the story, Chae-eun’s name had a bit of a cheat-code quality. If the protagonist hit a dead end, they’d just call Chae-eun, and she’d act as the intermediary, making connections. By the later parts of the story, her network had grown so wide that she even introduced people from the church.

The perks of being an insider, I suppose.

“Are you suggesting I work for the Hunter’s Association? I don’t know anything about fighting.”

The Saintess did train a bit, but she could only manage to swing a mace and barely block attacks with a shield. Still, the Saintess’s real power wasn’t in her combat skills; it was her divine power, which could turn the tide of any battle.

“Hey, are you pretending not to understand what I’m saying? You’ve already had all these offers. You wouldn’t even need to fight; you’d just rake in money sitting at headquarters.”

“Oh, really?”

“Don’t ‘really?’ me.”

She said, tilting her head as if my question was strange.

I shrugged and took another bite of noodles. It was my last bite, so I stirred the remaining broth with my chopsticks to savor it as I continued,

“But that power… it isn’t really mine.”

“…What?”

“It’s not my power. It’s the power of whatever higher being you all call a god, not mine.”

I slurped down some broth, enjoying its salty flavor. Ramen at night is best when it’s not too spicy.

“Wait, wait.”

Chae-eun waved her hands in confusion, looking genuinely flustered for the first time since I’d known her, though it hadn’t been that long.

“If you’re not going to eat that, mind if I take it?”

I said, nudging her untouched cup noodles closer to me.

Oh, there’s quite a bit of noodles left.

“Your power’s a gift from God, isn’t it? So of course, it’s yours. It’s a gift.”

I scooped up some noodles, blowing on them to cool them down as I looked at her.

“How does that make it mine?”

“What?”

“Look, mages study magic, right? Really hard, too. It’s not like they can just wave a wand and recite some words and—bam, magic happens.”

“…”

“And alchemy is said to be almost as complex as quantum mechanics. Even the soldiers who guard the gates have to work hard to master their shooting skills. You know this better than anyone, right? Your swordsmanship skill is something you worked for since you were a child.”

I figured it was safe to say this much. In the novel, Chae-eun was famous from a young age for her exceptional sword skills as the hero candidate and the hero’s daughter.

“But with divine power? I got it without studying at all. I’ve never put in ‘any’ effort to develop it. Go ahead and ask anyone at the convent if they’ve ever seen me studying scriptures seriously. You won’t find a single person who has.”

That’s partly why some people at the convent didn’t particularly like me. They’d study and pray tirelessly, but their divine power would still fall short of mine, despite me frequently falling asleep in the middle of prayer.

Not that divine power is unattainable through effort. Quite the opposite; it grows as you study and deepen your understanding of the divine. While there is some natural talent involved, it’s hardly a skill defined solely by luck.

If I were a prodigy in swordsmanship or a mage with exceptional talent, I’d understand it. At least, I would’ve made an effort to develop those skills since survival would depend on it.

But I’ve never once tried to strengthen my divine power, yet I can still summon this level of strength. So, I can’t really see it as my own power—it feels more like a trick from that higher being up there.

“…So, you’re saying you won’t use it?”

She asked, her voice softer.

“Oh, I’ll use it. If someone’s dying in front of me, I’ll use it. If there’s a deadly epidemic spreading, I’ll use it. And if a disaster hits and people are hurt, of course, I’ll use it.”

“So you’re not going to make money from it?”

“I feel like I’m repeating myself, but let me break it down for you one more time.”

I looked straight at Chae-eun, chopsticks in hand, ramen dangling, before I continued.

“That power? It’s not mine. Probably just something that some higher being up there is channeling through me. Sure, I get to choose who I use it on, but that’s all. How could I charge money for a power that I don’t even control?”

Whether or not I’m an atheist is beside the point—this kind of power could vanish at any time. Whatever’s up there isn’t omnipotent; if they were, they’d have rid the world of all evil already. I’m no stranger to stories about murder or assault cases, and, though it wasn’t at our church, I’ve even heard of priests abusing their authority. Judging by all that, this being doesn’t have the power to strike anyone down directly. But any ability I personally train or study to master—that, they can’t take away. But this borrowed power? They could reclaim it at any time, just as easily as they gave it.

“So… is that it? Since it’s not really yours, and it could disappear, you feel weird about charging for it?”

“Exactly.”

How could I take money for something so uncertain? Better to use it for good while I have it, rather than risk complications if I accepted payment. Watching Chae-eun finally start to understand, I dug into my ramen again, eating the now-cold noodles off my chopsticks.

“But there’s also an option of making a lot of money before the power disappears.”

I’d heard about some saints and priests doing exactly that. Some churches even amassed vast wealth that way. And there were people here who didn’t like me precisely because I didn’t use my powers that way.

“There’s also a bit of a conscience issue. I told you, it’s not my power. Would you make money off someone else’s ability? I don’t think you’re that kind of person.”

“Hey.”

“Yes?”

“You’ve been calling me ‘Chae-eun’ this whole time. Why so formal?”

“…?”

Why? I mean, she’d been hinting that she’d be leaving soon. I figured I’d just call her what she wanted to hear. Why was she annoyed?

“If you prefer Sister Ria, I’ll call you that.”

“We’re both still nuns till we leave, aren’t we? Let’s stick with that.”

She said, sipping the broth.

I shrugged and took a sip myself. At least the broth hadn’t gone cold.

“So… any plans once you’re out?”

“Nothing concrete, but I’ve got some time to figure it out. Maybe I’ll find some kind of job, maybe even look into university.”

Job openings had spiked ever since society almost imploded not long ago.

There are now tons of jobs where you can earn well without needing a degree, especially with work related to the Gates. With so many ways to make a living, fewer people are going straight to university. The government still promotes higher education, especially for former nuns like me. If I go to college, I’ll qualify for tuition assistance and a living stipend. Plus, the church has its own support fund for anyone transitioning out.

“I can probably get by with part-time jobs in the meantime.”

“…”

Chae-eun just looked at me, a bit dumbfounded.

Why? Oh, maybe because I stole her ramen? Well, too bad. If she wanted it, she should have said something when I grabbed it.

Once I finished the broth and set down the empty cup, she finally spoke up.

“…Just leave it. I’ll clean up.”

“For real? Thanks!”

I’m not one to refuse an offer, especially if it’s to my advantage. Before Ria could change her mind, I hopped up from my seat.