The Stepdad affair

TARA

"Do you love her?" I ask, staring up at him.

I don't know why I asked him that. I don't even know why I should care.

His hands cupped my face gently.

"Why do you straighten your hair?" he started, his voice soft. "Your hair...its soft and curly all on its own."

I frowned, pulling away slightly. Why does he always do that? Avoid the question.

"But Kohen, do you love her?" I pressed.

He sighed, his hands dropping from my face. He moved back a bit, his gaze now on the rippling pool water.

"You should really think about showing off your curls more. It's beautiful," he said, effectively dodging the question again.

I couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment. I wanted answers, not flattery. I wanted to know if he loved my mother or if the tension between us was something more than just my imagination. But he evaded the question, leaving me with nothing but uncertainty.

"Kohen -"

"Wanna go out to get something to eat?" He asks.

"My hair is wet, and I'm in a bikini." I say yo him.

Kohen climbs out of the pool, and I follow him out. The cool breeze hits me like a slap in the face. Kohen wraps his towel around me, drying the excess water on my skin and hair.

"Just go put on a t shirt and pants we'll use the drive thru." He says.

I sigh and shake my head as I walk away. Kohen takes me by surprise and grabs my arm.

"Tara, I -" He starts.

I stare up at him at him. I don't know what I'm expecting him to say, but I feel like my heart is about to beat out of my chest.

"Meet me in the car when you're ready." He says before he releases my arm.

I frown.

Why couldn't he just answer my damn question?

The afternoon was warm, and the air inside the car was still hotter. Kohen was behind the wheel.

I was sitted in the passenger seat of his car, the leather sticking to the backs of my thighs. I wore a sundress, its hem flirting with the middle of my thighs. It was a silent drive, the tension hanging between us like a thick velvet curtain.

As the drive-thru sign of Wendy's came into view, I found myself shaking my leg out of nerves. It was an old habit that returned whenever I was anxious. I bit my lip, glancing at Kohen from the corner of my eye. He was focused on the road.

I was contemplating whether to break the silence, when suddenly, his hand moved from the steering wheel to my bare thigh. His touch was firm and not entirely unwelcome.

I gasped softly.

He didn't look at me. His eyes remained fixed on the road, but his grip on my thigh didn't waver.

I can't help but feel nervous when he does this, but yet... I like it.

I know he only does this because of my anxiety, though. Nothing else.

My heart pounded in my chest, my breath hitched in my throat, my mind raced. I didn't know how to react, what to say. The silence stretched, and the tension grew. I couldn't find it in myself to push him away.

Instead, I sat there, rigid and silent, as he ordered our meals from the drive-thru. His voice was steady, betraying no hint of the turmoil I felt inside. It seemed like an eternity before he finally removed his hand from my thigh to retrieve the food.

I stared out the window, my mind flooded with thoughts.

"Here." He says and hands me my food.

"Thanks." I say awkwardly and quickly begin stuffing my face with fries.

"Hungry, huh?" He chuckles and starts driving once again.

"I'm not talking to you."

He glances at me. "Look, Tara, I'm sorry if I made you -"

"I just wanted an answer. I don't care about anything else." I say to him while taking a bite of my burger. "I just want to know the full story."

Kohen sighs. "Alright. I'll answer."

"Okay. Speak." I say with a mouth full.

"It's fifty fifty." He says.

"Explain."

Kohen tapped his fingers on his staring wheel with a steady rhythm. "Can you feed me some fries?"

I roll my eyes. "Explaination first."

"Fair enough." He says. "At first, no. But she turned out to be not so bad. I was young, and it was fast. I mostly just wanted to get control of my father's company."

"Seems self-centered to me." I say while still eating my burger. "Do you.... have sex?

"We haven't for a while." He says.

"Why?"

"I thought you wanted the story, not the low down on my sex life." He teased.

"Fair enough." I nod.

"It was self-centered. I thought it would be fine. That even if she wasn't the woman I wanted, she'd be good enough. And I guess she was.... somewhat."

"Wait. Slow down. Do you want to be with someone else?" I ask. "Who is she?"

Kohen chuckles but keeps his eyes on the road. "She's talented and stubborn. She's like... a little fire cracker."

I don't know why, but I frown.

"What else?"

"If I told you everything I thought about her, we'd never leave this car." He says

"Do you love her?" I ask.

"What's with you and love?" He says.

"I don't know. Are you in love with the mysterious woman?" I ask.

He hesitates. "I guess I am. I'd do anything for her. I think I'd risk it all if given the chance." He says.

I feel a little sad hearing this. I wish someone would show me that kind of devotion. I know you shouldn't ask questions you don't want the answer to, but I would rather know. I like to know everything even if I dont like the answer. I hate surprises and uncertainty.

"Why not tell her?" I ask.

"It's complicated." He says.

"Why? Does she know my mother?" I ask and turn completely so I can look at him while eating.

"Yes. Yes, she does."

"So? I mean, you want her. Maybe she wants you to." I say to him.

I don't know who this woman is, but anyone is better than my mother. I know that means Kohen wouldn't be in my life anymore if he left my mom, but...

"I don't think so." He says

"Have you asked her?"

"No. I just know she doesn't feel the same way. Plus, if I do go through with it, I wouldn't be able to stop myself."

I raise my eyebrow. "How?"

He takes a deep breath but doesn't look at me once.

"It's like I have this excruciating pain inside and she'sthe drug. This..... desire for her. The want.. no. The need to do things... to her and with her. But I know if I take just one pill, I'll come back for more. And more. And more." He explains.

A single tear runs down my face. I wish someone would say this about me.

I quickly wipe my cheek before he sees it.

"You seem to really like her." I say forcing a smile.

He pulls into the driveway of the manor and parks the car he finally looks at me and uses his thumb to wipe the ketchup by my lip.

"You have no idea." He murmurs, still staring at me.

~♡~