A Certain Magical Hogwarts

William woke up yawning and dragged himself out of bed.

The night before, Dumbledore had kept him up until the early hours with a deep and meandering conversation, covering every topic under the sun. 

Despite William's repeated hints that he was tired, the headmaster feigned ignorance, continuing as if nothing was amiss.

Thankfully, William wasn't a witch; otherwise, he might have thought Dumbledore was trying to take advantage of him.

Finally, at around two in the morning, Dumbledore allowed him to return to his dormitory.

William uncorked a bottle of Awakening Potion and downed it in one go.

The tangy, sweet flavor spread through his mouth, and a puff of green smoke rose from his head. He immediately felt much more alert.

"Wow, William, are you practicing cultivation?" his roommate, Chambers, asked in surprise.

The term "cultivation" was familiar to Chambers because he'd recently started reading cultivation novels.

Chambers, a rival of Cedric's for Cho's affection, had once sought William's advice on how to woo her.

Caught between his roommate and his good friend Cedric, William found himself in a tricky position.

If he helped Chambers, he'd be betraying Cedric and making things harder for him. But if he refused, he risked ruining his relationship with his roommate—especially since Chambers had offered him irresistible benefits.

In the end, William chose pragmatism over loyalty and gave Chambers some guidance.

His advice? To pursue a shared interest with Cho. 

Since Cho was of Chinese descent, William suggested Chambers dive into Chinese culture. Specifically, he recommended The Legend of the Swordsmen of the Shu Mountains, one of the earliest cultivation novels.

Not long after starting the English translation, Chambers became obsessed.

Chasing a girl seemed dull compared to the thrilling adventures of cultivation novels. In real life, one might be rejected for being too plain, too nerdy, too poor, or too clueless about women.

But in novels, you could fully immerse yourself as the protagonist—slaying enemies in one world, building harems in another, and showcasing unparalleled charm everywhere.

What's that? The protagonist isn't handsome enough? No immersion? Drop it and find another one!

Soon, Chambers was pulling all-nighters to read, and his enthusiasm spread throughout Ravenclaw.

Before long, everyone was hooked on cultivation!

Could this count as a kind of cultural invasion?

After getting ready, William and his dormmates left for the Great Hall.

When William sat at the Ravenclaw table, Cedric and the Weasley twins joined him, settling nearby.

They began quietly discussing the aftermath of the previous night.

As it turned out, Cedric and the twins had returned to their respective common rooms after delivering Snape to the hospital wing.

"I've got Snape's keys here. Check which one unlocks his potion storeroom," Cedric said, reaching into his pocket.

"Wait!" William whispered urgently. "I see Professor Snape!"

Snape strode into the Great Hall, his black robes billowing ominously. His expression was sour and menacing, clearly, he was in no mood for pleasantries.

Before heading to the Ravenclaw table, he passed by Gryffindor.

"Potter, why is your hair so messy? Can't you wash it properly?

"You're tarnishing Hogwarts' image—five points from Gryffindor!"

Harry stared at him, dumbfounded. Messy hair is illegal now? It's genetic!

Ron muttered, "Docking points on the first day after Christmas break? As if he washes his own hair…"

Snape shot Ron a death glare, silencing him instantly.

After finishing with Harry, Snape turned and stormed toward the Ravenclaw table.

Malfoy, holding a piece of bread, climbed onto a bench to get a better view, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

Snape, a paragon of discipline and justice, fearlessly striking down wrongdoers! 

Thinking of the scene alone was making Malfoy have goosebumps, he couldn't love him more.

As expected, Snape's next target was William and his group.

"Stark, hand over your wand immediately. I suspect it was you lot who ambushed me in the Forbidden Forest last night!"

His accusation stunned them. Wasn't this a bit much? Did you think before talking?

Professor Flitwick, appearing out of nowhere, stepped in to defuse the situation. "Professor Snape, I'm certain William was in his dormitory last night. Are you sure you're not mistaken?"

"No, no!" Snape snapped angrily. "Last night, I was ambushed in the Forbidden Forest. When I woke up this morning, I was in the hospital wing.

"Madam Pomfrey said someone knocked on her door late at night. When she opened it, I was lying on the ground outside."

"That doesn't prove William and his friends did it," Flitwick argued firmly.

The group quickly nodded in agreement.

Fortunately, Cedric and the twins had made a swift exit after dropping off Snape.

Otherwise, Snape might have said, "If you didn't knock me out, why did you rescue me?"

Snape sneered, his voice full of suspicion. "Every single one of the hallucinogenic mushrooms I collected last night was gone by the moring when I woke up!

"It must have been you lot. The centaurs told me they often see Stark and his friends fertilizing those mushrooms!"

"The centaurs could be lying. We didn't even leave our dorms last night," William said seriously.

"And Professor, those mushrooms were planted by us in the Forbidden Forest.

"Since you admit taking them, will you compensate me for the financial loss?

"I come from a poor family and rely on those mushrooms to cover next year's textbook fees.

"I also have a younger sister who might be starting Hogwarts next year, I need to save up to buy her new robes…"

William's acting reached new heights as he feigned emotional distress, his eyes turning red.

If acting were his career, he might not win an Oscar, but a Razzie would surely be within his reach.

From across the hall, Hermione rolled her eyes. 

Having lived in William's house for some time, she knew the truth. 

So he snuck out last night—again!

Idiot!

Snape, of course, wasn't buying it. William's side hustles were well-known to everyone, and his claims of poverty were laughable at best.

"Hand over your wand!"

As the crowd of onlookers grew, Snape raised his voice. "The wizard who attacked me was highly skilled. You and your little gang of bastards… it had to be Stark!"

Smirking, Snape added, "I know you can't perform powerful spells without a wand, let alone cast a strong Stupefy charm.

"All I need is to inspect your wand to confirm it."

William put on a "conflicted" expression, hesitating before finally averting his gaze. Slowly, he said, "And if my wand doesn't show any traces of the Stupefy charm?"

"What do you think?" Snape sneered, taking the bait.

William sighed dramatically. "Professor, you'll owe me an apology. And don't forget to compensate me for the mushrooms."

Seeing William's uncertain demeanor, Snape grinned triumphantly.

"Of course, no problem!" he said confidently.

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