A Quest;looking for gods

All her lives, now ended. The memories a part of her very body, embedded at the atomic level it felt.

She looked around the room, her prison of flesh sluggish with the memory of pain. The room still unfurnished, still alone.

She would be born again. She hoped that she would be a male as her history showed she met him only when she was male, tragic as those meetings were.

What would the world be like?

It had seemed to her that she spent quite some time in the nothingness between incarnations. Hundreds of years? Thousands? Not more than that surely, otherwise she would never have had so may lives.

Chrysalis sighed in profound exhaustion, a pity, she had never lived in a time or place that would answer some of the questions she had asked in her last life. Or was one of those insignificant village woman a denizen of what would be Atlantis before it's rise to storied glory?

The important question was how long she was expected to stay in this silent solitude without even an old farmer's almanac to page through? She couldn't tell how long she had been there, although she was tired she didn't feel sleepy. She felt no hunger,not thirst no urge to eliminate any bodily waste.

It was creepy. She felt the body was as real as any she had had while living, but it had no needs!

That may be just as well. She was in a place without the facilities or resources to attend to the weaknesses of the flesh.

The main problem wad that she was wide awake,and it seemed there would be no respite.

To test this theory she laid her body on the floor and closed her eyes. She went through every mental exercise to get her mind to ease into sleep, none worked.

She was right, she was going to face this timeless place cognizant of every second.

How mad was she going to be when she was born???

Something had to be done to pass the time.

So she sat up, closed her eyes again, the next went over every memory acquired of every instance of her existence so far with a fine tooth comb. She forced herself to 'live' every recollection three or four times before opening her eyes again.

Her numbed buttocks indicating time had passed, but otherwise she still felt the same.

Clearly not enough time had passed since she was yet not born.

She got up,and was immediately assailant by beings of pains and needles,so she spent some time massaging her limbs.

When she felt better, she started exercising.

Jumping Jack's, jogging in place, lunges...every exercise she had ever performed or seen performed that didn't require equipment. She wished at this point that in one of her past lived she had been a martial artist, in this place,without the need to stop for sleep or food, she could become a prodigy. A lack of prior training and experience didn't stop her from putting her body through stances she had seen in the movies. She even believed that she was actually become proficient and could hold her own against an opponent.

She exercised until her lungs burned and her limbs with the effort.

And still, she was not yet born.

So she lay down again, breathing slowly and deeply to calm her racing heart.

She wanted to scream she was so bored.

Before she could give in to the urge she sat up and decided to meditate. She already had an idea, when she was trying to manage the pain she had visualized her body, so now she would meditate focusing on her physical systems. In improving and optimizing their function. She knew enough from her past life of human anatomy and physiology, to be convinced that if positive thinking can improve health ,then extreme, relentless, focused positive thinking could achieve miraculous results.

She spent a lot of time focused on every fibre of her mortal cage before easing herself back to general mindfulness, she stretched out on the floor and proceeded to gently knead her muscles, before standing again, to observe the hideous unchanged room.

She was not yet born.

Chrysalis sat back down, she would remain calm.

That sentinel worked for someone, all she had to do was somehow break out of this interminable cycle of life and death, and she would hunt them down and destroy them all.

Whatever the purpose of existence, it was not worth her suffering.

She closed her eyes, and let the recalled to her mind, her every moment of existence thus far...