Cheat day

Hachan (2)

After Park Haim finished the promotional broadcast for the new song disguised as an eating show, he returned.

While cleaning up, I felt uneasy and asked Mukunji, “Didn’t Haim eat too little?”

“That’s right. He ate about the same as I do.”

Mukunji’s portion is still only half of what a typical adult woman would eat. Suddenly increasing his food intake could be hard on his body, and yet Haim ate a similar amount to Mukunji.

From the photos, Haim’s usual diet seems just enough to avoid starvation, so it’s a miracle he has managed to dance and sing in that state.

“It was strange that he said he wanted to eat more but barely had any,” I continued.

“I think it might be due to weight management.”

“He’s too skinny even now.”

Haim looked much thinner than he did on TV. It was surprising how he managed to dance with that body.

“In my opinion, he’s aesthetically perfect,” Mukunji nodded.

“Sure, but it’s definitely not a healthy body.”

“Exactly. At that level, his body must be craving food, yet he can’t eat much. It was the same when we had lunch together last time.”

“He wants to eat, but in my case, it doesn’t seem like it.”

That meant he didn’t have an eating disorder.

“So it really is for weight management.”

“That’s likely. Or maybe after a long period of eating so little, his body can’t handle it anymore, just like me.”

That makes sense.

Whether it’s from wanting to eat as much as possible while needing to manage his weight or from being forced to eat less due to a long diet, I worry about Haim’s physical condition.

***

“What’s with that expression?”

Manager Lee Jong-woo scolded Park Haim.

“You went to the side dish store like you wanted yesterday. What’s there to complain about?”

Sitting in the back seat, Park Haim glared at Jong-woo and opened his mouth.

“I’m hungry.”

“There’s a lunch box next to you.”

Haim pulled out the lunch box from the cooler.

The contents included a piece of chicken breast, half a sweet potato, three cherry tomatoes, and just leafy greens, making him sigh.

“I’m sick of it. I want to eat a hamburger.”

“After being scolded by the CEO yesterday, how can you say that?”

Yesterday, Haim was told off for eating food outside of the prescribed diet at the side dish store.

“I didn’t even eat half of it. Do you think I eat thoughtlessly?”

“Does someone who thinks like that not care about the others?”

“……”

Haim silently gazed out the window.

Jong-woo spoke in a gentler tone.

“Do you have any idea how many people can make a living because of you? Just hang in there a bit longer.”

This was how CEO Jeong Mun-il and Manager Lee Jong-woo tried to comfort Haim.

APOP, the company that signed Haim, was struggling financially.

Ten years ago, they thrived by producing famous singers, but now, as contracts expired and artists started to leave, Haim was the only remaining artist.

Without Haim, they would have gone bankrupt or been sold off long ago.

Because of that, CEO Jeong Mun-il poured all the company’s capital into Haim, who in turn had been enduring a harsh schedule.

“You know you gain weight even if you just drink water, right?”

“Do I want to be like that?”

“It doesn’t matter how you feel. If you eat, you’ll gain weight. Are we doing this because we hate you? This is a problem that arose after you hit 70 kg a month after finishing your second album.”

“……Hah.”

Haim exhaled deeply.

He wanted to support the livelihoods of the people he had known since childhood, but he was beginning to feel a sense of futility.

He wanted to eat tonkatsu so badly that he went to eat it with the side dish store, yet he barely ate even half of it, and CEO Jeong Mun-il treated him like he had committed a great sin.

Then, three weeks later, he just wanted a break, and he went to promote the side dish store, but CEO Jeong Mun-il scolded him again for eating food outside the prescribed diet.

Haim argued that the side dish store’s menu was healthy, but the responses he received only left scars.

“Do you think you’re like everyone else? You gain weight as soon as you eat. How do you expect to earn money by doing the same as others?”

“……”

“Do you think your fans will last forever? No. The moment you gain weight, it’s over. There are plenty of talented people in this industry. There are tons of alternatives to you. Get a grip.”

“So how long do I have to keep living like this?”

“What?”

“How long do I have to keep living like this?”

“Stop whining. Do you have any idea what your friends from practice are doing now? Grow up.”

Among the people he practiced with, Haim was the only one left in the entertainment industry.

When Haim was a trainee, nearly twenty kids learned to dance and sing together, but APOP gave up on training new trainees after the last one, who dyed his hair rainbow colors and sang exceptionally well.

“Is the company really in trouble?”

Haim asked.

“Of course.”

“I saw the CEO got a new car again.”

“That’s because he has to keep up appearances. He has to look like he’s doing well, and you know that.”

Haim fell silent again.

***

“No, you all really don’t understand. One serving isn’t just one serving, you know? I went to a snack bar to eat tteokbokki. Am I just going to eat tteokbokki? I have to eat sundae too. What about the fried food? Am I not going to eat that? Right, one serving of tteokbokki, one serving of sundae, and one serving of fried food actually means three servings for one person! Have you seen a meat restaurant? If you go with two people, how many servings do you order? You’re talking about two servings? You ask for three pieces of samgyeopsal, and when it’s time for the last piece, you say to give you three pieces of galbi. So, since each person eats three servings, three servings are essentially one serving. I’m not overeating just because it’s cheating day!”

To celebrate cheating day, I ordered Chinese food.

I was about to have one bowl each of jjajangmyeon, jjamppong, and gisaengmyeon when the viewers kept commenting, so I spoke up.

└ What are you talking about, pig?

└ LOL

└ Oh, so 3 and 1 are the same number!

└ Even if I reach 80 kg, my appetite stays the same.

└ But I used to eat five bowls of jjajangmyeon. This is actually a generous portion.

└ If you eat one serving, it doesn’t fill you up.

└ Isn’t bibimmyeon the ultimate example? You can never be full with just one.

“Right. Can you fill up on just one ramen? You need to cook at least three. Don’t you think? Why do ramen companies sell them in packs of four? After eating three, you’re left with one. So where do you get the other two? You have to buy more, so they sell four in a bag. This is a well-known marketing tactic.”

└ I’ve heard of seven and a half shots of soju, though.

└ I get full with just a bag of veggies and some meat.

└ One and a half is just right for me.

└ Three? What? LOL

“Jjajangmyeon is the same. No one fills up on just one bowl of this. At the very least, you have to scoop some noodles and mix them with a bowl of rice. Anyway, unless you’ve lost 58 kg, don’t criticize what I eat.”

└ Cheating!

└ Usually, there isn’t even enough weight to lose 58 kg.

└ Aren’t you worried about your blood sugar? What are you going to do if your blood sugar spikes from eating like that?

└ Who has cheating days twice a week?

└ Uncle, think of the weight lifters. If you let your guard down just because you’ve gained some muscle, it’ll be a big deal.

“……True.”

I recalled Cha Ji-chan’s struggle after he got obsessed with donuts for a while.

Even after the competition, he started indulging in donuts again, and his sculpted body disappeared, turning him into a muscle pig.

“Should I just eat two bowls?”

Repeated comments asking “What to drop?” flooded the chat.

“I can’t drop any of them—jjajangmyeon, jjamppong, or gisaengmyeon.”

“If I only eat jjajangmyeon and gisaengmyeon, I might feel a bit queasy. I have to eat jjamppong. But if I drop jjajangmyeon, it won’t feel like I ate Chinese food, right? But gisaengmyeon has been too long. What should I drop?”

└ Just eat all of it!

└ LOL

└ Anyway, you’re trying to come up with reasons somehow.

***

Suddenly, a message appeared in the chat that Haim had collapsed.

“Don’t joke around. How could Haim collapse? …Really?”

When I checked the article link that was posted, it was true.

[Singer Haim Collapses During Performance] On the morning of the 6th, around 11 AM, singer Haim collapsed during the rehearsal for his new song “Butterfly.”

His agency APOP stated in Haim’s official fan cafe, “Haim collapsed during the music broadcast rehearsal. He has been unable to sleep due to extreme stress felt during the preparation period for the new song. He is currently resting at home.”

Meanwhile, fans claimed that Haim had complained of fatigue during a recent joint broadcast with famous YouTuber Banchan-yong and alleged that Haim had been subjected to excessive scheduling.

└ OMG, is this real?

└ How severe must the stress be for him to collapse?

└ It seems like he pushed himself too hard.

└ Didn’t he just say on the show the other day that the agency was pushing him too hard?

└ Was that really true?

└ Wasn’t it a joke?

└ It looked really hard for him, so it didn’t seem like a joke.

└ Haim looks way too skinny. If he looks thin on the broadcast, how thin must he actually be?

└ But he’s at his peak for the pretty boy concept. Even I have to say he looks insane.

└ He benefitted from the delicate, youthful looks.

└ But whether it’s a concept or not, isn’t APOP crazy? How can they treat the person who brings them food like that?

└ The photos of his diet look way over the line.

└ If that’s what he’s been forced to do for months, that’s abuse.

└ If you lived with the weight lifter uncle for a month, you’d bulk up.

Shocked, I sent Haim a message asking if he was okay and what happened.

“Uh… For now, the agency says he’s resting, so let’s keep an eye on it.”

I cautiously brought it up, but suddenly I felt angry.

He had to manage such a demanding schedule that he even had to eat in the car, and with such poor nutrition, there’s no way his body could hold up.

“But Haim is really struggling. He needs to eat properly to survive, but the diet is so strange. I’ve studied a bit about dieting, you know? If he keeps going like this, he’ll be deficient in nutrients, and the yo-yo effect will come easily. So he’ll have to keep eating less and less.”

It was a vicious cycle.

Just then, Haim sent a text.

{Hyung, I’m so tired.}

{I want to die.} 1:17 PM

“Everyone, I’m going to pause the broadcast for a moment. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

Startled, I quickly wrapped up the broadcast and called Park Haim.