Cheat day

Be Happy (3)

“Do you prefer Mom or Dad? Do you prefer pouring sauce on it or dipping? Let’s taste the most heated debate in the history of the Korean Peninsula! This is Baekban Debate, with Banchan-yong.”

“It’s Baek Woo-jin.”

It’s Thursday.

It’s Baekban Debate, Baekban Report broadcast day.

“What’s today’s topic?”

“Sweet and sour pork! Do you prefer pouring the sauce or dipping it?”

└Is this really happening?

└This is insane.

└It’s finally here.

└Today there’s no going back.

└I can’t stand the pourers.

└Is this the final episode of Baekban Debate? Is this really the topic?

Although it’s a somewhat classic subject, it is one of the hottest and most contentious debates in the history of the Korean Peninsula, which has drawn significantly more viewers than usual.

“Before we start, let me explain today’s debate rules. Today we will only discuss pouring sauce versus dipping.”

“Stir-frying, eating more, or just shoveling it in are all off the table.”

“Arguments like only partially pouring are also not allowed.”

Baek Woo-jin raised his palm alongside me.

“I solemnly vow to honor the crispy yet chewy, sweet and sour pork, and the boundless advancement of Chinese restaurants as I participate in today’s debate.”

“Right on.”

└What the heck? Why so extreme?

└They’re doing all sorts of things.

└This is it; don’t stray from the topic. Pick one: pour or dip.

└What even is this? Just because it’s decided here doesn’t mean we have to follow it, right? What’s with the oath?

└The dipper faction seeks only the complete collapse of the pourers.

└The pourer faction will eradicate the dippers.

“Then, let’s start with the flavor-challenged dipper, Baek Woo-jin.”

“Flavor-challenged?”

“Yep.”

“Excuse me, how can you tell someone who can’t even finish a whole chicken how to eat when they can handle one chicken per person?”

I was so shocked that I couldn’t help but drop my mouth open.

“Ahem.”

Baek Woo-jin shrugged as if he had landed a hit and began the debate.

“The debate over whether to pour or dip the sweet and sour pork has a long history. Each side has likely already formed their opinions on which is right or what they prefer. Right?”

“I agree.”

“So, I brought some statistics. Let’s check the reference materials.”

Baek Woo-jin opened the survey results from Korea Research published in July 2022.

“60% prefer dipping, 22% prefer pouring, and 18% are okay with either. The dip preference is about 2.7 times that of the pour preference.”

“Just because more people prefer it doesn’t mean it’s right.”

“Do you really believe that?”

“Of course.”

“Hmmm.”

Baek Woo-jin exhaled softly.

“Despite the huge difference in the numbers, you can’t accept it. You’re denying the election results. Elections are the essence of democracy. The Republic of Korea is a democratic country… Could it be?”

└He’s starting again!

└They always find an opportunity.

└Wait, are you denying the country?

“That’s really tired.”

Baek Woo-jin’s eyes widened.

“Commissioner Baek Woo-jin, how long do you plan to mock the audience with your trivial instigation and fabrications? Do you have any intention of taking this sacred debate over sweet and sour pork, whether to pour or dip, seriously?”

“Who started this? Who’s been fabricating for an entire year?”

“Democracy follows the principle of majority rule, but it doesn’t dismiss or label minority opinions as wrong. I’m really disappointed.”

“……”

“Have you considered that you, who speak of democracy as a tool for majority oppression, might actually be the anti-democrat?”

└That’s right.

└Baek Woo-jin is disappointing; he pretends to be smart on his channel.

└He’s found another issue to nitpick!

└He’s just…

└Banchan-yong gets so annoyed every time this happens.

└Cosplaying as a normal person.

└It’s definitely a valid point, but it’s infuriating!

“I looked up sweet and sour pork in the dictionary. It’s made by coating beef or pork with starch, frying it, and pouring boiled starch water mixed with vinegar, soy sauce, sugar, and vegetables over it. Poured over. Originally, sweet and sour pork is a dish that is eaten by pouring sauce over fried meat.”

The supporters of pouring erupted with excitement.

“Commissioner Banchan-yong, you really know nothing about reality.”

Baek Woo-jin started to counter.

“Maybe that’s the case when eating at the restaurant. But nowadays, most Chinese food is delivered. And the fried meat and sauce are always sent separately. Why is that?”

“……”

“You can’t answer, can you? Why? Because they send it separately to avoid the fried food getting soggy, and that’s the crux of this dipping vs. pouring debate.”

Baek Woo-jin gained momentum.

His voice became more powerful, and his arguments sharpened.

“The pourers always say that sweet and sour pork should be mixed with sauce and that the crispy texture isn’t important. Yet, Chinese restaurants separate the sauce and the fried meat to prevent it from getting soggy. They even punch holes in the packaging. If the crispy texture truly isn’t important, why go through such trouble?”

└That’s true.

└Baek Woo-jin is right. If you’re not going to eat it crispy, then why even eat fried food?

└Even Chinese restaurants care about texture!

“Commissioner Baek Woo-jin, this is why I call you flavor-challenged.”

“I don’t want to hear that from someone who doesn’t even know about fried texture.”

“Sweet and sour pork was originally a dish made by frying starch-coated meat upon order. Even when the sauce was poured and stir-fried, the crispiness was maintained. However, with the advent of delivery, this sweet and sour pork has changed.”

There was a sense of sorrow over the lost country.

“The once high-end sweet and sour pork that was enjoyed in restaurants has undergone cost-cutting since delivery started. When we were very young, sweet and sour pork was quite an expensive dish, but not anymore.”

Baek Woo-jin reluctantly nodded his head.

“Currently, the batter for sweet and sour pork is different. Instead of quality starch, flour and chemical leaveners are added. In other words, it means gluten is present.”

“Hmm?”

“Do you remember the soba noodles we had at Restaurant S in Donghae City during our last filming?”

“I remember.”

“The fried food there maintained its tender and crispy texture even after being submerged in broth for over 20 minutes. I was so amazed that I asked Ji-seung, and he told me that if you make the batter without forming gluten, the texture remains crispy even when soaked for a long time. You remember that, right?”

“I do.”

“In contrast, today’s delivery-focused Chinese restaurants make fried food from flour and chemical leaveners, which means it gets soggy as soon as it touches moisture. They prepare the fried items in advance and then fry them hard again upon receiving an order. Why? Because it needs to be very hard to prevent sogginess. They fry them in advance to handle many orders.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“Poor-quality fried food. To mask that flavor, they make the sauce increasingly intense. Do you still not understand what I’m trying to say?”

Baek Woo-jin furrowed his brow.

“What the dipper faction refers to as crispiness is the taste of hard, low-quality fried meat created due to cost-cutting by the Chinese restaurants. It’s the same as saying ‘experience that.’”

“No.”

“They made the sauce stronger to mask the flavor, but they still dip it? Mistaking hardness for crispiness? I really can’t comprehend that dull and insensitive palate.”

└Why is Banchan-yong so serious today?

└For real, why is he being so logical?

└For someone who used to be a pig, the debate over sweet and sour pork, pouring versus dipping, is a significant matter.

└To summarize, sweet and sour pork originally pursued a soft crispiness, but due to delivery, it was fried hard. To hide that, they made the sauce stronger, so eating it separately is just a way to deliberately eat something tasteless?

└Banchan-yong is right. The sweet and sour pork sauce used to be thinner, not as thick as nowadays.

└Even today, when you go to an older Chinese restaurant, the sweet and sour pork sauce is a bit bland. That’s why you dip it in soy sauce mixed with vinegar and chili powder.

“The viewers also recognize my sincerity. Although I’ve continued this debate with instigation and fabrication, I can’t do that in such a sacred space today. I stand by my former weight of 58 kg! Currently, sweet and sour pork is something you must pour to even be able to eat it!”

As he raised his voice in claim, the pourers, who had been silenced by the ignorant logic of the dippers, rose up defiantly.

“Despite saying incorrect things all this time, how much scheming and scorn have we pourers received for doing the right thing? It’s time for a change! It’s time to stand up! We must cut out those dippers who have trampled us under the name of the majority at the dining table! They forced us to dip like rats! Isn’t that right?”

└That’s right!!!!

└Well done!!!

└Hahaha, look at those eyes. This person is definitely insane!

└This is terrifying!

└He said he wouldn’t instigate or fabricate! Even Hitler could learn a thing or two from him!

└Hearing Banchan-yong, I feel wronged.

└For real, what did I do wrong? I get scolded for pouring sauce.

└No. Obviously, you should ask and pour. It’s food we’re sharing together.

└Thank goodness Banchan-yong isn’t into politics. It’s scary seeing the pourers riled up like that.

“Thank you for your remarks.”

Baek Woo-jin stepped forward.

“You say sweet and sour pork is originally poured, but before that, sweet and sour pork is a dish meant to be enjoyed together. Yet, the pourers, claiming it should be poured, pour sauce without asking us dippers. As seen in the earlier statistics, despite the nearly threefold difference, they still do this. Do you not know what this suggests?”

“I know well! Isn’t it oppression of the powerless minority by those in power?”

“Sweet and sour pork is generally eaten by three or four people together. If four people are eating, that means three prefer dipping, and one prefers pouring. Are you saying that three people should have their preferences dictated because of one person?”

“Even if it’s the majority, wrong is wrong! If most citizens claim that one plus one equals three, does that make it true?”

“Food culture is different from mathematics! Food culture varies over time and between people! The era is already leaning towards dipping! The most frightening thing is the fundamentalism and dogmatism that cannot accept change!”

Baek Woo-jin also came out strongly.

“The entire world rejects Islamic fundamentalism! Islamic extremism! Those who cannot break free from medieval values oppress and deny other religions! They censor culture! They even commit murder and terrorism! Do you also support them?”

└Oh wow, hahahaha!

└Wow!

└Is Banchan-yong IS?

└No way, why did Islamic extremism come up while talking about sweet and sour pork?

└Fundamentalism vs. secularization.

└Wow, that really woke me up. Right, fundamentals aren’t always correct.

“Everyone, don’t be deceived! You must not fall for the wicked instigation of the dippers!”

He showed a picture of seasoned chicken.

“Do you ask for the sauce separately when you order seasoned chicken? Because it gets soggy? No! Even when you eat seasoned chicken, it maintains at least some crispiness! If you’re going to dip it in sauce, what’s the difference from ordering fried chicken? Are you denying even the absolute value of half-and-half fried chicken? Fundamentalism? There are absolute values that do not change even as the times and people do! Don’t be deceived by the ignorant dippers who ask for the sauce separately when ordering seasoned chicken!”

“Everyone! Do you pour ketchup over your fries? To make them soggy? Denying the first principle that fried food should be crispy! Forcing your ideology onto others! Should we just sit back and allow the pourers to drench the fried food in sauce?”

└Wow, hahaha!

└What is wrong with these people, haha!

└Is it really necessary to go this far?

└Both are making wild claims, and it’s scary!

└I’ve seen things like this a few times on the news.

└So this is what happens after over a year of “Baekban Debate.”

└They could just compromise a little bit.

“There’s an old saying, ‘You have to dip it to know if it’s dung or soybean paste!’ That’s right! Dippers are people who can’t even distinguish between dung and soybean paste!”

“There’s another saying, ‘Tap the bridge before crossing it!’ What do you plan to do when food is left over after pouring the sauce?”

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“Why would there be leftover food? Why leave any? It’s because you’re already thinking of leaving food! It’s because of that irreverent thought that you end up with leftovers!”

“You can’t even finish a whole chicken and yet you’re all pretentious!”

“What, what?”

“What about doing the dishes? What are you going to do about it? If you pour it all, the sauce bowl and the fried food bowl will be covered in that thick sauce! Who’s going to do the dishes?”

“The dishwasher!”

“Who puts disposable items in the dishwasher?”

└Seeing these people fight, I think I’ll just yield. Let’s dip it.

└No, I’ll yield. Let’s pour it.

└Seeing this dirty scene, I feel like I shouldn’t fight.

└For real, this is hopeless.

└Hahaha, the audience has become smarter!

└It’s a lesson learned!