Crimes of transmigration

The Paragon had finished their meal and soon returned to my shadow, I wasn't exactly sure how this flutter was considered a single familiar, but since they weren't exactly battle oriented I let them be. At least they were cute.

Hali and Odysseus were discussing about the way they combined their powers, clearly invested in further research, what was born from the spurr of inspiration, turned out to be a deadly weapon and far be it from them to disregard such opportunity.

I walked towards Yudher and the others, the sun was setting and we couldn't just stay out in the open. Nights in the Northern Territory weren't forgiving.

"Can the jet resume the flight?"

I stayed curt. I knew after my display things would change between us, but I wasn't sure if wanted to know how much.

"No, we need a ramp or we'll just smash against the trees."

To the point and without useless chatter. Like it should be.

"Well, we can at least use it to spend the night."

I turned and was ready to get back to Odysseus when Yudher held my hand.

"Klaus, wait."

"…"

"We are too weak, if Odysseus and Hali didn't have to fight considering our safety, they wouldn't have had any truble."

"What are you implying Yudher?"

"Don't make the same mistakes we made, don't throw them away because you're stronger…"

I was speechless, never would I imagine those words coming out of Yudher's mouth in a million years, yet here he was. Trying to save me from making the same mistakes they had made. It made me happy.

They truly had changed, Aaron was not lying when he said that the advent of mana was like a strong wind clearing their foggy minds.

A smile blossomed naturally on my face.

"Thanks Yudher and don't worry. They are my ride or die."

His eyes softened before a chuckle sounded in the air.

"I'm glad. Go get them, we'll need to eat at some point."

I nodded and started to move away. Once I got a hold of the two strategy enthusiasts and forced them to get back to the jet. Winters here could get to -20C and I didn't want to discover if my new abilities could help me survive.

______________________

The night was cold, truly. Yet I didn't feel uncomfortable in the slightest.

The breeze was even pleasant, but there was a slight problem.

The sky… I couldn't see the stars, but no clouds could be seen anywhere. The pollution in this world had reached a new level of disgust. This was sad. The world seemed to cry.

"It's terrible."

Odysseus.

"Yes, this is the world I was born. Sad right?"

He didn't answer me at first and just hugged me. I didn't know what was going on in his mind, but I was feeling a little unease creep into my chest.

I was openly speaking about my transmigration, about my homeworld, something that never happens in all those novels. I was back in my world, but I couldn't wait to get to my men as quickly as possible. Yet Odysseus didn't even bring up the argument once.

He had met my family, proof that I was someone else wearing the body of the man he loved, but he still didn't say a thing.

Although we had been busy the whole time since getting here and I had not been able to think about our situation clearly, now it was different. There was nothing to do and these thoughts were hunting me down.

What do I even feel for him?

It was clear that I cared for him, that was a no brainer, but at the same time, there was this voice in my head, constantly reminding me that it was not me that he wanted, but the old Dimitris. I was convinced that all the kindness, the attention, everything was meant for someone else.

I felt like an imposter.

I had tried to keep a distance, to put up some walls, but he relentlessly knocked them down. While I was trying to free him, he was trying to tie me, yet what would happen if he came to hate me?

What would I do if he realised all his feelings were for a dead man?

Anguish was gripping my heart and I wasn't sure of anything anymore.

Would he throw me away?

How laughable.

Just this afternoon, Yudher asked me to not throw them away and here I was trembling at the thought of being left behind.

"Odysseus…"

"I don't care Dimitris."

What?

"I don't care about this shit. I know he is dead."

This was… I didn't know how to react. So I just stayed silent and waited for him to do whatever he wanted to do.

"Do you know when I accept his death?"

"…"

"Hahahaha, you don't need to be so scared Dimitris. Anyway, I accept his death when you first kissed me."

That was ages ago…

"I know right? Dimitris had never kissed me like that. Even when we slept together he always kept some kind of distance. At first I thought that maybe he was just uncomfortable with sharing intimacy, but when you kissed me, I felt like you were claiming me. You wanna know something funny?"

"…what?"

Odysseus started laughing at my uncertainty and I frowned.

Does it feel like a good moment to laugh at me? Bastard, why am I even going through this shit.

"I'm sorry, really. Anyway, to get back on track: he never kissed me with his tongue."

"The fuck? The man slept with you but he never… wait…"

"You get it, you knew even before me."

Of course I knew, ever since I read the letter he wrote for me on the grimoire. I knew he knew I would come.

"I'm not even sure he truly ever loved me, he always felt so distant, but now I know. He was just trying to create some distance-"

"Odysseus stop."

"What's wrong?"

"I think you are mistaken about something. If he truly was like me, if he and I can easily pass as the same person, there's something I'm sure of: he loved you desperately, that's why even knowing what was going to happen he stayed close to you."

"…"

"Do you remember how at the beginning I too kept my distance? How I tried to free you from the remnants of something I couldn't give you? I am sure that if I knew that I'd die and someone would take my place, I'd never get close to someone, with one exception: someone I love desperately. Someone I love so much, I would selfishly want to spend every second of my remaining time with. So don't you dare thinking he didn't love you."

"…"

He was looking at me with genuine surprise. Of course he did, I was vouching for a dead man I knew nothing about, his late lover. I too felt stupid, but at the same time… I could not let him think he wasn't loved.

Tears started to well into his eyes and soon enough, the dams broke.

His breath struggling to keep up. Sobbings got louder and louder.

He hugged me tightly, and in the middle of all his grief a small, barely audible thank you left Odysseus mouth.

We stayed like that for some time, I had no experience in consoling people, let alone someone mourning an important loss. That's when I realised something else.

He never had the occasion to mourn old Dimitris.

His death and my appearance happened coincidentally.

I shared his body, a constant reminder of him.

How could a sane person tolerate this situation?

Could I do something to help him?

Odysseus' breathing started to even out and I had finally thought of something.

"Odysseus, do you want to […] ?"

His eyes widened slightly, but after giving it some thought, he just nodded and started following me into the woods.

___________________

-Odysseus' POV-

I made the right decision.

Getting out to talk with Dimitris, lifted a weight I didn't know I had from my chest, his reaction, for how funny or cute they were, they gave a clear message. I was not sure if it was love, but it was clear he cared deeply for me, so deep that the thought of being left behind was scaring the shit out of his soul and it was clearly written all over his face.

It seemes, what Hali and I feared the most, wasn't even in the picture for him.

What we feared was that he'd choose to stay behind, with his family. But to think he'd have the same fear, but for us? That was a beautiful feeling for me.

The conversation steered on old Dimitris, I just wanted to assure him that I was over it, to let him know that I knew he was someone new, that I was ok. But after his speech… I realised I was not fine, and his suggestion… it really was something I didn't know I needed.

"Are you okay with it though? I don't want you to feel strange Dimitris. You know its you that I-"

"Shhh. Don't worry about me, I also need this actually."

We walked into the woods, into this unknown place, so strange for me and so familiar for him.

"Here will do."

As he said so, small flames came to life, illuminating the darkness surrounding us, at the same time, he released his newly contracted demonic familiar.

The fact that The Paragon had manifested was still somewhat puzzling me.

I guess I'll ask Merlin.

"You know? My family actually originates from a place somewhat near Itaca as well."

"What? Isn't this place on the other side of the world?"

"Hahaha it is, but things happen. Either way, where my family comes from it's believed that night butterflies are the spirits of our deceased family, coming to greet us."

That's actually quite romantic.

"This flutter, The Paragon, gives me that same feeling. It feels like all my family is watching over me. It is reassuring."

When he said that, a single butterfly left the flutter and rested on my shoulder.

Is he commanding it?

"Hahaha no, I'm not giving any order, I just felt like leaving them spread their wings, I don't know how my shadow feels."

"Then…?"

"Who knows? These are uncharted territories for me as well. Shall we begin?"

Removing my sight from the white butterfly, I locked eyes with Dimitris. He was not okay, yet enduring everything just for me. Who would do something like this?

"Yes, let's begin Dimitris' funeral."

We had never held a ritual without a body, but this was just as mystic. The small flames danced slowly in the air, The Paragon flying around us were diffusing a sense of serenity in the air. Dimitris' trembling hand never releasing me.

I was truly feeling good.

He was putting so much effort for me. He said he didn't know if he could ever love me like old Dimitris did, yet here he was.

If this wasn't a declaration of love, I didn't know love to begin with.

And despite all his discomfort, he was the first to speak.

"I don't know why, nor if you had any saying on the matter, but thank you. It's only thanks to you that I had the opportunity to live again. To feel again. To care for someone the right way."

He looked at me for a moment, and then continued his eulogy.

"To accept happiness. I… thank you."

His hand, clutching mine with ferocity felt like it was searching for reassurance. I was happy.

Not only was he able to put up such a ritual for me, he was able to realise what I needed and wasn't afraid to help me mourn the loss of another man.

Just because he felt it was necessary for me.

I didn't care anymore.

Of course I had loved the old Dimitris. But after all this time and everything we went through together. I grasped something I was taking for granted.

I remembered what he went through during my issues with Athena. How he jumped in front of me to protect me from every danger he perceived.

It was time I said my final goodbyes to old Dimitris and fully dedicate myself to this man.

"I will keep this short and simple, just like you liked everything: thank you for the time and love you gave."

I then looked at Dimitris, I softened the hold between our hands and slid my fingers in a more intimate way to then bring him closer to me in a hug.

"I hope you'll bless my decision and find happiness in the Elysium."

The butterfly on my shoulder left to get back to it's flutter, and I swore I could feel a smiling gaze upon us.

We had officially closed this chapter of my past. I turned Dimitris to face me. It was funny.

He was taller and stronger then me, yet he let me do as I pleased. And that I did.

I kissed him and all the tension we both were holding up, melted in a second. His free hand reached behind my head, stroking my hair and pushing himself closer, as if he wanted us to become one.

I initiated the act, but soon he took control. His tongue slit into my mouth, embracing my own tongue.

A disturbed heart, longing for something he didn't realise he wanted.