Daily Life of A Caretaker

Disclaimer: I own nothing, this is purely a fanfic for enjoyment.

Cross-over from various games, books, anime, manga, and movies.

The familiar characters you see here belong to their respected authors and owners.

"Speech"

Arc 5: Break - Chapter 11

Goblin Slayer stands before everyone as he holds a blood-stained map, its edges frayed and marked with ominous red smears. He pins it to the board alongside crude sketches of goblins, their weapons, and what appear to be rough layouts of a cave system. The faint metallic scent of dried blood lingers in the air, an unspoken testament to the map's grim origins.

Where did he get them? Who knows. By now, not many care or want to test Goblin Slayers after he killed a few students and contractors without any hesitation.

"Before we proceed, understand this." Goblin Slayer begins, his voice steady and grave. "Goblins are not to be underestimated. No matter how weak they may seem compared to other monsters you've faced or even those you've befriended, who are far stronger than ordinary goblins, they are cunning, ruthless, and persistent. Underestimating them invites disaster—not just for you but for the innocent lives they threaten. Villages have been burned, women taken, and children slaughtered. This is what goblins do, and they will continue to do so until the end of time."

The massive cave falls into silence, save for faint dripping water in the distance and the sound of people breathing.

"You might think they're weak. You might dismiss them as mere pests. You're wrong." Goblin Slayer continues. "Goblins exploit arrogance and ignorance. They adapt. They learn. They are the embodiment of cruelty. Knowing your enemy is your duty because survival depends on preparation."

He picks up a piece of chalk and begins sketching a crude goblin figure on the board. The lines are jagged and harsh, as though they mimic the very nature of the creatures.

"Lesson one: Anatomy." He taps the chalk against the goblin's head, then circles its hands. "Goblins are small, fast, and physically weak, but they attack in numbers. Their strength lies in ambushes, traps, and overwhelming their prey. If you underestimate them, they'll overwhelm you. Always remember: where there's one goblin, there are ten more hiding nearby."

The chalk scrapes sharply against the board as he adds a jagged weapon to the goblin's hand. "They rely on simple weapons: clubs, daggers, poison. Crude, yes. But don't mistake simplicity for ineffectiveness. A rusty dagger in the dark will kill you easily, just as any other weapon in open combat."

He steps back, his armored finger tapping the board for emphasis. When he speaks again, his voice lowers, resonating with grim finality. "This isn't just theory. Goblins don't care about rules or fairness. They don't care about your bravery, your skills, or your titles. They care about survival. And if you don't treat every encounter with them as a fight for your life, you will lose."

Yup, Goblin Slayer is pretty much exactly how I expect him to be.

"Moving on." Goblin Slayer produces a stack of strange tomes, interdimensional maps, and peculiar goblin artifacts, laying them out methodically. The maps, pinned to the board, shimmer faintly, as if they hold secrets from beyond this reality. Artifacts—crude weapons, talismans, and other unidentifiable objects—are set on the ground.

"Goblins exist everywhere." He begins, his tone unyielding. "Across dimensions. Across timelines. Across realities. Some are familiar. Others are... worse." Picking up a piece of chalk, he sketches a large circle on the board. From it, branching lines extend outward, each labeled with a different type of goblin.

I glance at the girls sitting nearby. They seem captivated, their attention glued to the lecture. Then again, this is The Goblin Slayer—his reputation precedes him. And that's the canon Goblin Slayer, while this Goblin Slayer is much, much more.

"Here,." Goblin Slayer continues, his gloved hand gesturing at the board. "We study goblins from the multiverse. Whether they crawl from caves, hatch from eggs, or spawn from corrupted magic, they all share one thing: they are parasites. A disease upon civilization. And if you fail to understand them, they'll destroy everything you love."

He points to the first branch on the board.

"Standard Goblins. The kind most of you are familiar with. Small. Green. Dangerous in numbers. These are the baseline threats. If you can't handle them, you have no business traveling the multiverse."

His chalk moves to the next branch, labeled Infernal Goblins.

"Infernal Goblins. Found in hellscapes and demonic planes. They wield fire magic and thrive in volcanic environments. Immune to heat and resistant to most conventional weapons. You'll need cold magic or divine enchantments to kill them effectively. If you don't have either, avoid them."

The next branch is labeled Void Goblins.

"Void Goblins." Goblin Slayer says, his voice dropping slightly. "These creatures come from the space between worlds. They phase in and out of reality, making them nearly impossible to track. They don't need weapons. Their claws tear through both armor and sanity. Never fight them alone. If you even sense their presence, destroy them quickly—before they destabilize your reality."

He moves to the next branch: Hive Goblins. He draws a crude hive structure, its spindly lines almost alive.

"Hive Goblins. Insectoid. Found in dimensions where organic hives spread like forests. They are mindless drones controlled by a queen. Kill the queen, and the hive collapses. But beware—hive queens have psychic abilities. They can control weak minds. If you're not mentally prepared, you'll become part of the hive, slowly converted into a new Hive Goblin."

Finally, he reaches the Titan Goblins branch, sketching a massive, hulking figure.

"Then there are Titan Goblins." His tone is grim. "Rare but devastating. Found in high-magic realms. They're bigger than ogres and wield siege weapons like toys. They're not clever, but they don't need to be. If you see one, evacuate any civilians. It'll take more than one person to bring them down. Unless, of course, you possess the necessary skills and abilities. Then ignore this part."

He steps back, turning to the room, his tone darkening further.

"There's more." He whispers. "Goblins that breathe poison. Goblins that spread plagues. Goblins that disguise themselves as human children. I've seen goblins that steal the faces of their victims, infiltrating settlements to kill from within. No matter where you go, goblins adapt. They exploit the weaknesses of their environment—and yours."

The sound of his armored boots echoes in the massive, cavernous room as he begins pacing.

"This isn't just a lecture. This is survival. If you're traveling the multiverse, you will encounter goblins. Your job is to recognize them, adapt, and kill them. Quickly. Efficiently. Without mercy. Because if you don't, the people you're sworn to protect will suffer."

He pauses, the room steeped in silence. Then, his voice sharpens with finality.

"Goblins may vary across the multiverse, but their nature doesn't change—or, to be precise, they sometimes gain external help to make them... wiser. They are a threat to all worlds. Of course, many disagree with me. I am but one man, and I won't argue with those who think otherwise. I'll do what I must."

His gaze—or the shadow of it from behind his helmet—sweeps the room. "I can see that some of you wish to kill me for slaying your so-called goblin 'friends.' You're welcome to try. But be warned—I won't show mercy. The only reason I'm here as a teacher is because of a debt I owe. Nothing more."

Turning back to the board, he delivers his final words.

"Class dismissed. For those who don't wish to attend future lessons, you can send a request to the school staff to be removed. That's all."

Without another word, Goblin Slayer and everything he brought for the lesson vanishes, leaving everyone in stunned silence.

Ruby tapped her chin thoughtfully, her silver eyes gleaming with a mix of curiosity and disappointment. "Still, I wouldn't mind a sparring session. Fighting those 'Titan Goblins' he mentioned sounds kinda fun! Well... if they're not too big, of course. I bet I could get something out of them via sacrifice."

Weiss raised a brow at Ruby's enthusiasm, her tone dripping with sarcasm. "Oh yes, because getting squashed by a goblin the size of a mountain is so appealing." She folded her arms and added. "I'm more concerned about the teaching standards here. A teacher casually stating they'll kill students? That's a lawsuit waiting to happen."

"Yeah, but... who would dare sue him?" Ruby said, her voice dropping slightly as she shuddered. "I mean, did you see that guy? He'd probably chalk it up as 'necessary goblin elimination' and move on. Plus, this is the high school we're talking about. Deaths bound to be a common thing during our stay here."

Aqua suddenly perked up, her focus still seemingly on her own thoughts. "Snack bars don't judge you, you know? They just offer sweet, sweet comfort food... and maybe some sake, if I'm lucky." She sighed wistfully, clutching the badges she had collected from others.

"You do realize this isn't a tavern, right?" I muttered, shooting her a sideways glance. Aqua's face turned to a pout, and I couldn't help but wonder just how much she mirrored her canon counterpart's drinking tendencies. Would I one day find her passed out with an empty bottle in hand? The thought was almost too believable.

Octavia spoke next, her voice calm but carrying an undertone of grim understanding. "We're lucky this school has safety nets—being able to drop classes with psychotic teachers might just save our lives. But honestly? I don't want to experience death at all, even with those so-called second chances. It changes people... permanently." She trailed off, her gaze distant, almost haunted.

Her words struck a chord, and I found my own thoughts wandering.

Yeah, dying does change you. Over and over again, it leaves marks you can't erase.

I rubbed the back of my neck, trying to shake the memories loose. Some wounds didn't heal, even with time.

Ruby's voice broke through my reverie. "Well! At least we're all still alive and kickin', right? So how about we check out that snack bar Aqua mentioned?"

Weiss rolled her eyes but didn't argue. "Fine. Not like there anything else interesting going on."

Aqua perked up at the mention of snacks, and even Octavia gave a small nod of agreement. I sighed, letting myself be pulled along. Maybe a snack break was exactly what we needed after Goblin Slayer's intense—and unsettlingly brief—lecture.

I glance at the students and contractors with various facial expressions. But there are many common ones, mainly those I bet are friends with those goblins murdered by the Goblin Slayer.

Crazy voices; I got the feeling that Goblin Slayer is just a warning for everyone to be prepared for future teachers with issues against the Eldritch pantheon and also a good reason why students have contractors.

Note to self: I should ask Ghost if there is some sort of list of teachers we're bound to attend for the Action Genre and if it's possible to skip them entirely if possible. It's one thing to die during my time with Nyarla, and it's another in this high school as I have yet to die here, and I have no idea what would happen during the time period while I'm being resurrected.

"To the snack bar!" Aqua said excitedly, causing many students and contractors to look over in our direction; some remembered about the Badges and how they are now glaring at all of us but Aqua.

I seriously need to have a word with Aqua after this or somehow manipulate her somehow to keep her under control. No idea if sex would work, though, since even the Heaven pantheon is having problems with her and even permitted me to fuck her. That says a lot.