Delusive Fate

#013

“At that time, I only wanted to look good in your eyes, hyung. You were growing up, but I still had a long way to go, so I didn’t want to appear childish… I was going through puberty.”

Ki Baek-woo said this while smiling genuinely, his dimples clearly visible on both cheeks, which only appeared when he smiled widely.

“You were my first love, hyung. Unrequited first love during puberty, how desperate must I have been.”

I wanted to know what Baek-woo was trying so hard for. Baek-woo making an effort for Lee Han-sol.

It’s strange. It’s so strange that I can’t even guess the reason.

Is it because he’s not completely connected with Jung Yi-dam yet? Is it because his relationship with Yi-dam is still in the early stages, so he’s mistakenly thinking he loves me now?

No, no. There’s no need to go as far as love. It might simply be that he thinks his housemate seems angry, so he’s trying to smooth things over. Seeing his roommate suddenly change overnight and act coldly, he might think, whatever it is, this bastard’s mood has seriously soured. Maybe he thinks that since we live together, it would be uncomfortable if the atmosphere is this chilly, so he needs to improve my mood first. Or it could be because of the remaining affection between us, regardless of where his heart lies.

But isn’t this too much for just a sense of loyalty?

He looks like a pitiful guy begging his bored lover.

“Baek-woo, Ki Baek-woo.”

I interrupted his rambling and called his name. Baek-woo answered with a smile, “Yes, hyung.”

I’ve never experienced Baek-woo being so anxious before, and it doesn’t feel good. It’s like seeing a stray cat caught in a cold wave. A stray cat so cold and miserable that it rubs against an unfamiliar human it wouldn’t normally even look at. Uselessly pitiful. Nothing’s going to change anyway. So,

“Stop it, Baek-woo.”

“Huh?”

“Why do you keep trying so hard for useless things?”

Baek-woo’s smile faded. He moved his lips a few times as if choosing his words. He asked:

“…What’s useless?”

“Don’t try so hard. There’s no need for that.”

The corners of Baek-woo’s mouth slowly drooped.

“Do I look like I’m trying hard?”

“Aren’t you? You’re different from usual.”

“Sometimes… sometimes it can be like this. Just like you can be different sometimes. Because we’re human, sometimes… how can we always be the same?”

I stared at Baek-woo as he said “sometimes” four times. It sounded exactly like he was hoping I would go back to how I was before after this brief period.

Baek-woo belatedly smiled slightly. This time, it was very obvious that he was forcing himself to smile. After seeming to choose his words for a moment, Baek-woo asked:

“But… do you dislike me acting like this?”

“Hmm…”

“If you really hate it, should I just stay quiet?”

I chewed and swallowed the last spoonful of rice and said. It wasn’t an answer to his question.

“I’m planning to move out.”

“…Move out?”

“I’m not leaving right away.”

Baek-woo completely closed his mouth. He was quiet for the first time today.

If I had known it would be like this, I should have said this from the start.

I stood up with a bit of regret. The sound of the chair scraping echoed loudly in the silence.

***

“Hyung, I’ve been thinking, and I feel like I’ve been short-sighted all this time. I should have suggested moving earlier. This is an old apartment after all, and it doesn’t have reinforced walls, so the security isn’t great. It’s just, I was being selfish because we’ve made so many memories here together. We started dating here too… It’s such a good place for me that I never thought about moving. It could be dangerous if a gate opens.”

“…”

“I’m sorry you’re living in A district because of me. I should have moved us as soon as I started earning money. I’m sorry. I’ll call the center and nearby real estate agencies to see if there are any good places. A safe and spacious house… Ah, I’ll look for a place in the southern outskirts. You’ve been going to other districts for raids, it must have been tiring coming and going all this time, right? I’ve really been short-sighted. I’ve been selfish, only thinking about myself even though I’m all grown up now…. I’m sorry, if you wait a little, I’ll find a place we can move to as soon as possible.”

“Why are you looking into that?”

“Because you said you wanted to move…”

“No, Baek-woo.”

“Huh?”

“I’m going to move to B district.”

“Ah, it would be best if we could go to B district… But hyung, because of my rank, the law…”

“No, what does that have to do with anything? Baek-woo, what nonsense are you talking about right now?”

“Huh?”

“I’m moving out alone. You just stay here.”

“…Huh?”

“I won’t ask for rent, so you just keep living here. If you don’t like it, you can find another nice place and move out. Do whatever you want.”

Last night was really chaotic.

Why do I have to waste my energy on this kind of argument? What the hell is going on in Ki Baek-woo’s head? What on earth does he want from me, this fucking bullshit?

I’m leaving of my own accord. But why do I have to explain it to you as if I’m trying to persuade you? Would you understand if I told you? You don’t know shit, would you even comprehend? Why do I have to put effort into this useless thing? Why! So just shut up. Just, fuck, please keep your mouth shut!

Such thoughts made me angry. I couldn’t control myself.

It all started after I told him about my plans to move out during dinner. Baek-woo, who had been chattering excitedly, suddenly closed his mouth tightly as if he had never been talkative, so I had nothing more to say and just left the table.

‘I’ll be in my room, let me know when you’re done eating. I’ll do the dishes.’

After saying that, I went to the bathroom and took a shower. Even after I finished washing, dried my hair, and changed my clothes completely, Baek-woo seemed to still be in the kitchen.

Hmm, I guess he wants to keep sitting in the kitchen today for some reason.

Not caring about Baek-woo’s state of mind, I just lay down on the bed and enjoyed my rest.

My stomach is full, my skin feels soft, and my body smells good from the shower gel and body lotion. And I told Baek-woo I’m moving out. I had been wondering when to tell him, but I didn’t expect to deal with it so quickly. I was in a particularly good mood for once. I just lounged around, fiddling with my phone.

Ah, right. Maybe I’ll check that out after a long time.

Suddenly remembering the center community where center employees and awakened individuals gather, I logged in. As expected, the latest posts were full of praises for Jung Yi-dam.

Saying he’s the reincarnation of Hua Tuo, or that he’s the god of healing who came down himself because he felt sorry for the ruined country even after sending Heo Jun, or that he’s an archangel sent to save humanity on the brink of extinction due to the Blood Plague….

The community was full of all kinds of fawning over Yi-dam. Since Yi-dam was even the world’s only S-class healer, there were countless people mixing simple praise with national pride.

Ugh, you pitiful beings… tsk tsk.

It was amusing to see them faithfully spouting nonsense as the system dictates, not realizing that the world they live in was created for Yi-dam. As I scrolled down while chuckling, I saw that, as if it wasn’t enough of a Jung Yi-dam dating sim game world, these beings were fighting amongst themselves, pairing Yi-dam with all sorts of potential love interests.

Ha, these ignorant fools… At the point where I’ve regressed, Yi-dam has already entered Baek-woo’s route.

I fell into a useless sense of superiority. I thought everyone gathered in the community mumbling about Yi-dam was fucking stupid. With one corner of my mouth raised high, I looked at the paparazzi shots of Baek-woo and Yi-dam.

s-class healer jung yi-dam x s-class hunter ki baek-woo paparazzi shot.jpg

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Comments(999+)

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Anonymous123 But didn’t Ki Baek-woo say he had a boyfriend? Isn’t this cheating?

└ Who cares? It’s God Yi-dam lol Looks like God Baek-woo is just waiting for the right time to switch haha

└ Switching is not a crime lolol

└ For real, that guy dating Baek-woo when he’s not even in Yi-dam’s league is the one who should be ashamed lol

Anonymous124 Baek-woo’s current boyfriend is just a C-class lol

└ Who would believe such bullshit lol You should at least make your lies somewhat plausible to be interesting

└ Not a lie. It’s true, it’s well-known

└ Crazy C-class;; As expected, God Baek-woo is unprejudiced. Why date a C-class;

└ Is he super rich? Or is he extremely handsome? lol No, even if beams of light came out of his face, an S carrying a C is a bit… uh;

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There were comments unnecessarily talking about me strung out below the post, but I ignored them all. I wasn’t particularly angry no matter what they said. It’s because it’s all true that I’m just an ordinary C-class, and that Baek-woo will soon switch to Yi-dam.

I may be a pathetic piece of trash not fit to be a main character, but I’m not a loser who gets angry at the truth. Really.

They really do look good together.

I thought dryly as I looked at the photo of Baek-woo and Yi-dam standing together.

Objectively, the cold-looking Baek-woo and the soft-looking Yi-dam matched well. In a past life, I once thought they looked like a scene from a romance manga when I saw the two of them together. And I suffered from pathetic feelings of defeat. It’s all a story of the past now.

That time suddenly felt so distant. As I was lost in this newfound sentiment, the bedroom door quietly opened.

“Hyung.”

Baek-woo came in through the gap in the door.

“Hyung, about the moving out talk we just had.”

I looked directly at Baek-woo, who had a calm attitude without forcing himself to appear cheerful. Baek-woo stood in front of the bed with gentle steps. His subdued appearance finally seemed like the usual Baek-woo, making me willing to deal with him.

As I put down my phone and sat up, he sat on the edge of the bed.

“What about moving out?” I kindly asked first. Baek-woo turned his body towards me and opened his mouth.

And then my mood plummeted instantly.

What the hell is this bastard saying…?

I was in a good mood for once, I was willing to talk to Baek-woo for once… Baek-woo ruined it in an instant. Everything coming out of Baek-woo’s mouth was complete nonsense.

Hyung, I’ve been thinking and I feel like I’ve been short-sighted all this time… You’re living in A district because of me… I’ll call the center and nearby real estate agencies to see if there are any good places. A safe and spacious house… and so on and so forth, mumbling.

Saying he’d look for a house on the outskirts of A district, or that he had been selfish all this time, every sentence Baek-woo uttered in his soft, melting voice was bullshit not worth listening to.

I frowned, feeling like I had suddenly been doused with sewage while walking in a good mood.

“Baek-woo, what nonsense are you talking about right now? I’m moving out alone. You just stay here.”