Endless Insanity

"OI OI!" The second I step foot into the city I hear someone shouting at me and the pounding of its feet as it runs straight towards me. Deciding not to engage I turn to my left and quickly climb a ladder, trying to get some high ground. Only to be met with the same shout from a different person as I pop my head out from over the ladder. I sigh and decide to confront the person who called out to me earlier, coming face to face with a Bobby.

Bobbies were police officers that had been moonscorched, moonscorch was like a type of cancer but instead of withering into atoms the dead cells just keep piling up, eventually the cells would mutate a certain way and that's why you had different enemies who all were humans at one point. The problem with Bobbies was that they had three arms, each capable of attacking at the same time and growing back quickly if chopped off, the Bobbie's head wouldn't stay still either, it would be in constant motion moving around so fast that it's very hard to manage to hit it. Tack that with its ability to come back to life if its corpse isnt beaten and you have quite the annoying enemy to deal with.

"Eh you got this chap these Barney's ain't got nuthin on you" Twig encourages me from his vantage point he jumped to, "thanks Twig, love the vote of confidence" I say back, giving him a thumbs up as I send eight arms to hold down his three arms and his head. Walking up to the now pinned Bobby I hold my axe above my head, ready to deal the finishing blow to his head, that was until the Bobby managed to get one of his arms free and swung his baton directly at my stomach, unable to dodge I'm met with the force of the long arm of the law. Backing away I double over and start puking what I had ate a few hours prior, what amounted to a few moldy bread and a carrot, don't judge me, a man's gotta eat.

Once I manage to find my feet I looked up and see the Bobby flailing about his freed hand, luckily for me most of his mind had already decayed so all he could think of was killing me rather than freeing himself, gritting my teeth I send the two hands he broke free from back to his arm and walk behind him this time in order to avoid getting hit again. Finishing him off quickly this time I wince as I feel the bruise forming on my stomach, "ooh that's gonna leave a mark buddy, but hey! At least you got three arms from this guy" Twig says, trying to cheer me up. 'Silver lining' I think as I nod towards Twig and go to cut off his arms, not before kicking his still twitching corpse a few times though in order to make sure he doesn't come back, yeah that's why I did it, it wasn't revenge or anything.

Picking up his arms I tie them to my belt and look down, slowly realizing that I had made some kind of crazy sacrificial looking skirt, I groan muttering "I need some booze". "It's funny you say that friend, because look what I found!" Twig victoriously shouts as he hauls a bottle of beer. Hollering happily I grab the beer and down it in an instant, 'before that beer I had 60 mind from using the Flesh Puppetry spell four times, the beer gives 30 mind, so I can now safely use the spell three more times without worrying about any horrible after effects of low mind'. I grin as I hug Twig who wheezes and wiggles around a bit "Its no problem buddy, it's the least I can do for you considering I run away every fight" he looks a bit guilty as he admits to hiding during every fight, "hey don't worry about it Twig, you're the only one keeping me sane in this place, so I should be the one thanking you" I explain to him as I hug him tighter. He wheezes even harder and gets out "how about we agree to disagree, now let me go, your crushing my lungs".

I quickly let go of him as he returns to his position on my shoulder, 'do Pinecone Pigs have lungs?' I wonder as I connect three more pairs of arms to me, now putting me at a total of fourteen arms at my control, ignoring the headache as I had gotten used to the pain I walk forward deeper in the city. Seeing a fork in the road I read the sign board inbetween the fork. 'Business district on the left and church district on the right, the church is how I would normally get deeper into the city, but in order to do so I would need to go to the Business district to get some items, plus the Business district has a few goodies I wouldn't mind taking' I consider for a while more than nod my head resolutely and turn left and walk into the business district.

The air reeked of sewage and smog, each breath felt like a mouthful of garbage being shoved into your throat, but I pressed on, I snuck past a weird looking bee hive hanging ominously on the corner of a building as I continued on my path. Eventually the smell became worse, three creatures crawled out of the darkness provided by the tall houses, 'it feels like this nauseating stench hadn't gotten enough of killing us mentally and created an avatar of pure shit for us to fight' I grumble as Twig finally comprehends what he's seeing "Good god that's grim" he practically shouted as he jumps off my shoulder and runs in the opposite direction "call me when the fights over pal, I gotta go find us some loot" he hollered behind his back as he ran. Sighing I look pityingly at three of the hands as I send them to strangle the Fecal Hounds, internally apologizing for dirtying them in such a way, 'if I wasn't so disgusted I would make a Star Wars reference right now' I think as the smell starts to abate a bit as they slowly die.

Waiting for Twig he eventually hops over empty handed, "no luck Twig?" I ask, "yeah sorry buddy I couldn't find anything this time, but that just means the next time I find somethin it's gonna be even better!", I chuckle a bit as his gambling tendency slowly reveals itself, deciding to pay it no heed I walk past the the Fecal Hounds bodies, staying as far from them as possible, 'I don't even want their arms anymore, they would probably smell so bad I could use them as biochemical warfare though… on second though' after debating with myself a bit I decide not to go any closer to the hounds for fear of passing out due to the smell.

Past the hounds was a empty lot full of some ritual markings and beyond that lay a road that led along all the places in the business district a place littered with abandoned vehicles, road blockers and sandbags. 'Where should I go first, I could head over to the Department store and grab the Leechmonger Ring, an accessory that heals me for every 3% of damage I deal to an enemy, it might be slightly different now due to this not being a game but it should still have its lifesteal properties, I could also go to PRHVL Bop, a bar that has a secret speakeasy with ammo, a Lugr pistol and a Trenchgun, probably the safer option'. I agree with myself before heading along the road towards the bar. That was until I met the Inquisitor, a being that looks similar to a Bobby and can cast Hurting, a spell that does massive damage and cuts off a limb, combined with their ability to summon a Bobby to assist them with the bell they hold in their only arm and they become very dangerous to fight if not fully prepared.

Not wanting to lose any of my limbs anytime soon I duck behind a car and become as quite as possible, once the sound of its clanging bell gets further away I make a break for the bar that's nearby. Closing the door I walk over to the corner, fiddling with the planks trying to find the hatch. "Phew that was close eh buddy" Twig wipes some imaginary sweat off his face as he peers quizzically at what I'm doing, "there's a speakeasy under here, it has guns and ammunition as well as a map of this place" I explain to him as my hands find a seem in the floor, pulling against it reveals a hidden passage.

Climbing down the ladder I find myself in the Speakeasy. Guns cluttered racks along with ammunition, there are two bunk beds and beside the last one is a table stacked with documents and a Lugr, next to the table is a map of the the surrounding area with three marked points. 'I didn't really need the map up until now since I've been relying on my knowledge from the game, but it would be good to have one just in case' I think as I take off the map from the board roll it up and pocket it. "How do you know so much stuff about this place" Twig asks as he looks around the place in fascination, shrugging my shoulders I tell him the story I had made up "I was born in Prehevil, I was raised in the orphanage nearby", Twig nods in understanding as he continued to explore the room until he sees the bunk beds, then he hops onto one and fall asleep.

Walking over to the back of the room I see a Perfection Circle. Not wanting to test my luck again with the God of Funger I instead write Alll-mers sigil using some ink I had found in the Speakeasy, it was a very simple sigil, just a cross similar to the one in Christianity, once it's written a portal sprouts out from it, floating a foot off the ground. The portal had a blood red outer layer with a pitch black inner layer, it hummed with power as I observed it, 'the portal only really gets its use when I draw another Alll-mer sigil, then when I do I will be able to teleport between those two locations.

I looted the speakeasy, taking a 12-gauge Trenchgun and two bullets for it, a Lugr pistol and three 9mm bullets, and another bullet for my rifle. "I really need to get some kind of inventory like in games, I could maybe use magic for that but I'm not nearly adept enough with magic to be meddling with it" I mutter as I strap the Trenchgun to my back and put the Lugr pistol in my pocket. "Welp that's everything in here, we can always come back if we need anything else" I say as I clap my hands, waking up Twig who grumbles a bit about needing some sleep and hops onto my shoulder.

Exiting the bar making sure to close the hatch leading to the speakeasy I walk for a few minutes before I come across a bunch of dinner tables, once I get close enough three floating stitched together umbrella looking things appeared and slowly moved over in my direction, swatting them away with my hands I stand infront of the department store. "Twig your probably gonna want to cover your ears for this one" I advise him before walking in. The second I step foot in it I'm met with a horrifying scream of agony, sighing I just cover my ears and walk up the stairs all the way to the top floor, in the middle of the top floor was multiple people chained up and hanging, some by hooks, they were in various states of torture, all of them screamed, even the ones with mouth coverings. Walking around them I see a shriveled up corpse, getting closer I grab his arm and uncurl its fingers that are gripping the Leechmonger ring, once I get a hold of it I put it on, not noticing any difference I leave it on and leave the store through the back exit. "Alll-mer what was that" Twig asks me, "followers of Torment, an New God that used to exist, he specialized in well torment and pain" I explain.

The back exit takes me infront of a store with the sign above it saying Dr. Kefer's tricks & magic, deciding to enter it I walk up to the counter and see a man wearing some shades, "who are you" he asks me in a commanding tone, "I'm Sam, fuck you Dr. Kefer" I shoot back in response "yeah fuck you old man!" Twig shouts too wanting to join me in insulting the man, the man chuckles "a man after my own heart, fuck you too Sam, take a look around, everything on the shelves is for sale" he told me as I walked over to the back behind his counter, hopping over the rope partition labeled employees only. "Yeah fuck the rules" Twig mutters as I enter the back room and find another book labeled Book of Fears and a chest that once again gave me nothing. Clicking my tongue at my luck I look at the book before throwing it to the side, it told about all the phobias in the game but I had no real use for them now. Spotting a bronze lamp on the table I choose to avoid messing with it, 'inside it is a soul stone I can use to level up, but it comes at the cost of summoning Poe, a ghost of sorts that will haunt me everywhere I go, showing up around radios to try and kill me.'

Exiting the back room Dr. Kefer shouts at me, "you better not have been in the back room!" I reassure him that I wasn't and leave the shop, not bothering to look at his wares since I barely had any shillings on me. Turning right from the shop and then turning right again after walking for a bit I come across a three lane intersection, between the intersection was the Orphanage, then I hear the clanging of an inquisitors bell. Looking around I can't find any good hiding spots so I run forward between the intersection and enter the Orphonage to hide from it. Slamming the door I'm hit with the smell of old perfume, wrinkling my nose I pet Twig a bit to get rid of the stress that had accumulated, after a while I take a deep breath and walk forward into the Orphanage.