Even Though I Loved You First

“Holy sh*t.” (Riku)

“That’s a first…” (Sachi)

“…” (Kei)

As both were saying their remarks, I was left shocked as I saw the results of our midterm tests we did. Ever since Shizuka started dating Hayato, I got slightly worried that she would neglect her studies more than she did in the past. However, it seemed that I just stressed myself because.

First Year

#1 Kei Ichinose

#4 Sachi Sadataka

#15 Shizuka Sakurajima

#16 Hayato Hayasaka

“To think that she would get into the Top 25…” (Kei)

“A certain someone should learn from her.” Sachi glanced at Riku.

“I can’t help it, you know…” (Riku)

“Then, want me to help you study next time?” A sly smile spread across her face.

It’s way too early for this… How come they aren’t even dating? I thought. I glanced back at the result board and contemplated Shizuka’s growth. Even when I helped her, she usually barely passed her tests, so now I wondered if there was something I did wrong. Then,

“?” (Kei)

I got a message and as I took my phone and saw the recipient, a natural smile spread across my face.

[Arisa: I don’t why, nor do I know how. But I managed to appear in the Top 14.]

[Kei: Heh~ Want some kind of reward then?]

I jokingly typed.

[Arisa: I’m in.]

[Kei: That was fast.]

Something must’ve come up because she went offline shortly after.

“Looks like you’re enjoying life now, Kei.” (Sachi)

“?! Y-you scared me there… Don’t just sneak up on me…” (Kei)

“We called you several times but you just stared at your phone with a wide-a** grin.” (Riku)

“Anyhow, you two seem really close, huh?” (Sachi)

Giving a glance to Riku who was standing behind Sachi, he grinned at me til the point I started to feel embarrassed and felt all my face heat up.

“H-hey… It’s about time we head to class, l-let’s go shall we?” (Kei)

“If you say so~” (Riku)

~♡~

[Kokoro: Remember. ]

[Kokoro: Today, after school. Two in the afternoon sharp.]

~♡~

~Family Restaurant [1:59 P.M]

The bustling street which had people as far as the eye can see, the occasional laughter which could be heard from highschoolers walking through the scorching afternoon sun. Somehow I, Kei Ichinose, was sitting face to face with someone I rarely get myself involved with. 

They weren’t someone I disliked nor loath. But they were someone who’s only connection was my sisters and Arisa. With her shoulder-length white hair and big golden eyes reading through the menu, Kokoro Shiina smoothly took her order, to which I followed.

“Hey, Kokoro—” (Kei)

“How did your midterms go?” (Kokoro)

Crossing her legs and resting her chin on her right hand, she cut me off as she looked through the window.

“I-I got first place on my grade. What about you?” (Kei)

“As expected. In my case I got sixth place.” (Kokoro)

She uninterestedly said. Kokoro was a weird one among Arisa’s friend group. As if an authority figure was concerned, Kokoro tended to emit some sort of aura that gave you a kind of tense feeling. Said aura was something I wasn’t used to and in the same regard, something that Arisa was able to brush aside as ‘unimportant’.

“Hey Kokoro. Why did you call me here exactly? Also, shouldn’t there be someone else with us? You don’t want any misunderstandings do you?” (Kei)

“Even if there was, I have Sei’s permission to be here. So don’t mind it.” Slight pause followed, “ As to why I called you here. There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask for sometime.” (Kokoro)

“Go ahead…?” (Kei)

“You know how Arisa is my best friend and all, right? And naturally, I wouldn’t meddle into someone else’s affairs, I just think that’s an utter waste of my time.” (Kokoro)

“Harsh.” (Kei)

“The real world’s like that. Get used to it. Anyway, as I was saying. I don’t usually meddle into someone else’s affairs. However, this is different. So Kei, let me ask you this,” she took a sip from her coffee, and as the silence between us only grew and as the only sound we heard were the conversations of the few customers that were present, she said it.

“You know about them, don’t you?” (Kokoro)

With her gaze fixated on me, she asked.

“C-come again?” (Kei)

“Don’t play dumb. You know about them, right?” Her next words made me freeze in place. “About Arisa’s feelings I mean.” (Kokoro)

She was unto me.

~♡~

Kokoro’s POV~

“About Arisa’s feelings I mean.” (Kokoro)

With my gaze fixated on the boy in front of me, I Kokoro Shiina, confronted Kei Ichinose regarding his feelings and relationship towards my best friend Arisa Kamihate.

“Pfffttt…” (Kei)

“…?” (Kokoro)

I was taken aback because due to my question, Kei suddenly burst out laughing.

“Haha… Sorry… Nothing gets past you, huh?” (Kei)

“So you really knew.” (Kokoro)

“Of course I would now. I’m not dense, you know?” (Kei)

There it was, that which I wanted to hear all this time. All in all, it wasn’t surprising either. Arisa never actually made a real attempt to hide her feelings, on the contrary her goal was to make Kei aware of her feelings…

~♡~

Kei’s POV~

“Of course I would now. I’m not dense, you know?” (Kei)

After beating around the bush, Kokoro finally went into the matter she called me for. What she wanted to make clear and what she wanted to know was simple, my awareness.

“I mean, it’s just impossible to ignore someone who clearly shows an interest in you. They willingly help you out, they smile at you even if at the moment you can’t smile back and most importantly, she understands me and helped me get back on my feet. As far as I’m concerned, I’m also the closest boy to her. Don’t you think it’s usually way too obvious?” (Kei)

“Then, for how long have you known?” (Kokoro)

“…thmas…” (Kei)

“Hmm?” (Kokoro)

“Christmas…” (Kei)

“So for about two months, huh?” (Kokoro)

“Unn…” (Kei)

Before everything, I had a slight suspicion that she liked me. However, I thought that it’d be pretty embarrassing if I jumped into conclusions so I brushed that thought into a corner in my mind. However, on our Christmas date, all my doubts were cleared.

The way she spoke to me, the smile she gave me, and even the effort she made for my gift. It’s the first time that someone outside my family has put such effort into a present. The night I received it, a warm and gentle feeling was transmitted, something that indicated that Arisa no longer saw me as just a friend, but as something more.

“What’s with that…” She quietly muttered.

“Kokoro?” (Kei)

“Are you even planning on confessing? Are you even planning on confronting her feelings?” (Kokoro)

“H-huh? Of course I am. I don’t want to disregard her feelings, but I have to get some things done first…” (Kei)

“Just how long will you be planning to wait for? What if Arisa confesses to you and you haven’t done what you mentioned? Will you just make her wait more?” (Kokoro)

“Huh? K-Kokoro…?” She somehow started to quiver, and as the conversation progressed, she grew even more worried.

“Sorry,  I lost my composure…” She apologized.

“N-no it ‘s okay but…” (Kei)

“Kei. I’m gonna be blunt. The reason why I called you today was all just a selfish wish of mine. Of course, I can’t say what’s right for her. I’m just a side character in this story of yours. But at the end of the day, I only want to repay Arisa’s kindness. Just like how she made me happy, I want to make her happy…” (Kokoro)

“You really care about her, don’t you?” For me, even though it hurt being bad-mouthed from time to time, I had people that actually wished for me to happen. Back then, I only had Shizuka beside me, maybe that’s why it wasn’t surprising that I fell in love with her. But thinking about it, even if Shizuka wasn’t my happy ending—

—she was still one of my most important and fondest chapters of my life.

It was thanks to her that I discovered the warmth only a friend could hand you. Even though she was the shy one, she was definitely the one who taught me more about human emotions.

Maybe if it wasn’t for her, even Riku and Sachi, who should’ve not had any contact with each other, were just in the first act of their play.

As people say, even the smallest variable can greatly impact the outcome. Not only Shizuka but the Kei from the past, the Kei who was in love with Shizuka, are important variables in what I call the present.

That’s why I want to make things right, Arisa’s feelings deserve to be faced seriously. She lifted me up, she took me out to play. In a sense, she was the light at the end of the tunnel. That’s why—

“I always had a personality that told me that if I will do something, I’ll devote myself wholeheartedly to it. If I’m going to go out with Arisa, I want to settle things straight. I don’t want to half-a** it. It would be rude to her… no that’s not it… I just don’t want to see her cry. I don’t want her to be sad, call me a coward but I will confess until I can say a final farewell to the ‘Kei’ Arisa first met.” (Kei)

The Kei who loved Shizuka needs to go. All to only leave the Kei who’s in love with Arisa.

“Honestly, it’s hard to tell you’re a highschooler. Well, those twins are the same. Kei, to tell you the truth, when I first met Arisa back in middle school—” (Kokoro)

—I hated her.

~♡~

Third Person POV~

“—I hated her.” (Kokoro)

“Huh? You… hated her?” (Kei)

“Yes, that’s right. Back then, I hated people, I never got involved with anyone due to that exact reason.” (Kokoro)

Call her dramatic all you want, but Kokoro wasn’t lying. She absolutely hated people.before. For her, people were just two-masked individuals, just like a coin.

“Back then, I always thought that people only had two sides, the victim and the aggressor, and that they would usually shift papers according to how much it benefited them. I absolutely hated fake people.” She leaned on her seat, running her finger around the cup that no longer had coffee on it. “That was until Kotone talked to me, she wholeheartedly wanted to be friends with me. Of course, at first I did my best to avoid her, but to my surprise, she managed to break through my defense.” (Kokoro)

“…” (Kei)

Kei didn’t say a word, he just sipped his remaining coffee and listened attentively.

“After some time passed, Hiyori and Sei started hanging out with us. Naturally, I rarely said anything to them back then. However, Arisa came along.” She paused, then continued, “I absolutely despised her. She looked so fake, her smile, her tone of voice. At first glance I knew that wasn’t her and I hated it.” (Kokoro)

“I won’t say too much but, time passed and we graduated middle school, we were in highschool now. Arisa not only stopped using her fake persona, but she also met you, as you know. I’m getting off topic.” (Kokoro)

“…” (Kei)

“Before I knew it, I fell in love with Sei. At the time, I completely adapted to the group and the six of us hung out everywhere. Even so, I refused to confess… I just thought that someone like me wasn’t good enough for him… Naturally, I told Arisa all these worries, and you know what she did?” (Kokoro)

“What—” Before he could finish his sentence.

“She slapped me on the cheek… ‘The more you hesitate the more likely it is for someone to snatch him away!’ she said…” (Kokoro)
“That sounds really Arisa-like…” (Kei)

“Right?” (Kokoro)

“Anyways, I confessed and we started going out. If it wasn’t for Arisa, I doubt I would be able to date him… She gave me the courage, she no longer was a fake person, but someone genuine.” (Kokoro)

She inhaled and exhaled deeply.”Kei, let me tell you did. I don’t care if you’re Arisa’s beloved, don’t you dare play with her feelings or make her cry.” (Kokoro)

A strong aura enveloped the two of them, Kokoro wasn’t a fan of meddling into someone else’s business. But to her, this much was alright, right?

“I’m not an a**hole, while you were reminiscing I internally made up my mind.” (Kei)

Everything was set in place, the future was set in stone. Things could no longer stay like this, the more he postponed it, the more guilty he felt. The plaintiff and the defendant, everything was at its end. This bond that was bound to be broken, has to be rebuilt. But before that, he must destroy the former, who was on the verge of collapsing.

Once that was done—

“I’ve played many roles in my life. Side characters, protagonist, antagonists, wingmen… All this has been nothing but a useless theater show… ‘All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts.’ As they say.” (Kei)

—It was time to confess before the gavel striked.

Story Arc 4: There It Is Again, This Template [END]