Even Though I Loved You First

~High School Entrance Ceremony

“Ugh… I should’ve accompanied Sachi and Riku…” (Shizuka)

Can’t believe I actually got lost… During the entrance ceremony of their first year of high school, Shizuka wanted to look around so she split up with her best friends. 

Kei left the group first as he would be giving the opening speech representing the first years, this gave Shizuka the chance to go around the establishment and look around her new school.

However, as she decided to head towards the auditorium, she realized she got lost and couldn’t find her way around.

“Maybe I’ll ask Sachi for directions… eh?” As she searched around her pockets, she realized she didn’t have her phone with her, “Ah… I forgot I gave it to Sachi earlier…” (Shizuka)

Sighing by her own stupidity, she looked around the building for a while, Naturally, she didn’t really know the place, the fact that there was no personnel in sight didn’t make it better. As she looked around, she stumbled upon the school library’s door.

“…maybe I can find someone who can guide me…” she quietly opened the door and after closing it once she entered, she looked around nervously.

There’s no one around… huh? Contrary to her words, she did find someone else. A brown-haired boy was peacefully sleeping on an empty table by an open window.

She still had hope that there would’ve been someone else around for her to ask for instructions, so headed to the library’s counter and glanced around, until…

“If you’re looking for the librarian… she’s out… yawn”

“?!” (Shizuka)

As she glanced over the library’s main desk, a tired and moody voice rang from behind her ears, quickly turning around and she found the same boy from earlier, this time he was awake.

“S-sorry for waking you up.” (Shizuka)

“Don’t mind it.” He rubbed both his eyes, “Was there anything you needed from the librarian? If I recall correctly, the entrance ceremony should be about to start.”

“Ah that… I somehow got lost so I looked for someone around to give me instructions—” Just as she was about to continue.

“Down this hallway, then turn around to the right after the first hallway. If you go down said stairs and head straight after that. the auditorium should come into view.” They didn’t even bother to face Shizuka again and just told her the directions.

“T-thanks… uhm… What about you?” (Shizuka)

“I’ll just skip, I’m not good with crowds.” He rested his head on the table once again.

“I see. Then, if you’ll excuse me.” Shizuka left the library, closing the door behind her, she walked fast leaving the place behind, making sure she would get to the auditorium in time.

What a strange fellow… She thought to herself.

✕✕✕

“Aah.” (Shizuka)

After the entrance ceremony finished, and after she heard a glass-breaking shriek after Kei’s opening speech. Shizuka went to her own classroom which ended up being different from her other friends, however as she glanced around her desk she noticed that her neighbor was someone she didn’t expect.

So we’re in the same class, huh? She glanced at the boy who helped her earlier, although he was asleep.

✕✕✕

The days quietly passed, and Shizuka’s school life followed as normal, she became friends with most people from her class yet still ate with Kei and the others as she moved to their classroom during breaks.

“I’ll head out to the library then, I need to look for a book for my English class. See you guys later~!” Shizuka waved at her friends and headed off to the school’s library for the second time since she entered this school.

Now inside the library, Shizuka searched through the seamlessly endless bookshelves for a book to use for her English report. She herself wasn’t exactly a fan of reading. Actually, the bookworm title better belongs to her childhood friend Kei. However, she wanted to read at least a book or two as an objective of her changing habits.

“Hm?” (Shizuka)

A lone boy was the sole presence other than her that filled the otherwise  devoid-of-life place.

“Oh? Hayato, what are you reading there?” (Shizuka)

“?!” The boy looked up, startled, “H-huh? S-Sakurajima?” (Hayato)

His green eyes were widely open, he clutched the open book with both hands before quickly regaining his composure.

“W-what are you doing here?” (Hayato)

“What else can I do in a library other than to look for a book?” (Shizuka)

“R-right… That was stupid of me, my apologies.” He seemed a little disheartened, clearly thinking Well of course it would be for a book, what was I thinking…?

“Anyway, Hayato. Do you come here often during your breaks? I usually go to another class so when I get up I never see you at your spot.” (Shizuka)

“Staying inside the classroom it’s quite suffocating, so I prefer quiet places where I can read in peace…” he muttered.

“Heh~ So, what are you reading right now?” (Shizuka)

“Lord of the Flies…” (Hayato)

“Huh? Haven’t heard of it, what is it about?” She naturally took a seat across from him, clearly showing interest in his book.

“Several young boys who discover themselves abandoned on an island. Without any adults to act as a civilizing drive, the children eventually turn ruthless and violent. They establish laws and a system of organization. Then—” (Hayato)

Without him noticing, he started blabbering about his book and giving a honest impression along the way, even Shizuka was a little taken aback by his sudden talkativeness.

“…ah… I-I’m sorry! Seems like I got a little bit excited, somehow it’s been a while since the last time I talked with someone.” (Hayato)

Shizuka giggled at this, “It’s okay, you remind me of a friend of mine~” she paused and then, as if a lightbulb had been turned on, an expression clearly of a sudden idea was plastered on Shizuka’s face. 

“Alrighty! Hayato!” (Shizuka)

“Keep your voice down.” (Hayato)

“Ok, ok. Hayato. Be my friend!” For the old Shizuka, this would’ve clearly been something hard and nerve-wracking. However, she changed, and she was now able to reach out to other people, just as a certain someone did for her.

“…no thanks…” (Hayato)

“W-why…?” (Shizuka)

“Sounds like a hassle…” He awkwardly averted his eyes.

✕✕✕

Naturally, after a lot of insistence from Shizuka, they became friends. The two of them often talked with each other and helped each other out when the time called for it.

“Say, Hayato. Why don’t you want me to introduce you to my friends? They’re nice people!” (Shizuka)

“Thats…” Them becoming friends would eventually target the ‘sad flashback’ event as Hayato talked to Shizuka about his past. about everything he went through. It was clear why Hayato never really constructed bonds with people, he would’ve never reached said point if it wasn’t for Shizuka.

But still, the two continued hanging out in secret. They learned more about each other, be it the good or the bad, they now had a mutual understanding of the other’s personality and they became attracted to them.

They laughed and played together, they sometimes studied together and exchanged presents with each other. It now became clear that the person that moved Shizuka’s heart wasn’t Kei, but Hayato.

Maybe, just maybe. If Hayato never asked for their friendship to be hidden, things would’ve taken a different path. But there is no use in crying over spilled milk now, is there?

Because it was thanks to those words—

“Will you go out with me?”

—that this twisted relationship that prevailed between the two childhood friends would eventually come to a close.

Shizuka Sakurajima. no matter how nice of a person she was, she imposed a status quo one-sidedly and without realizing, she hurt the person she admired the most.

This is the story of two childhood friends whose relationship was bound to be broken. Due to the increasing distance between the two, one wrong step and everything they’ve built over the years could easily be swept away in seconds.

Shizuka Sakurajima…

It’s about time to wake up.