forever in repeat

The sunlight streamed through the cracks in the curtains, pulling Emily reluctantly from sleep. She blinked against the harsh light, her body still humming with exhaustion. As she stirred, she felt a hand firmly resting on her waist.

Panic set in. Her eyes darted downward, landing on the strong arm wrapped around her. Memories from the night before came flooding back in disjointed pieces. She remembered the café, Mrs. Rachel introducing her to David, his easy charm, and the way his laughter seemed to draw her in. Then the bar. The drinks. The way she felt weightless in his arms as he carried her to this bed.

She squeezed her eyes shut, wishing she could erase the night. A cold pit formed in her stomach as more vivid images returned—David's touch, her whispers, the connection they shared. But now, it all felt like a mistake.

Fuck, Emily. What the hell were you thinking?

She felt disgusted with herself. She'd slept with someone she had only just met. Someone she knew absolutely nothing about, apart from the fact that he had a fancy car and a charming smile. What kind of person does that? Her hands trembled as she carefully lifted his hand off her waist, her heart pounding as though she was committing a crime. Her bare feet touched the cold floor, and she bit her lip to stifle a gasp. The room was eerily quiet, save for the sound of David's even breathing.

She searched for her clothes, finding them crumpled in a careless heap.

Her hands trembled as she slipped into her dress, the fabric feeling foreign against her skin. She glanced back at David, still lost in sleep, his chest rising and falling steadily. For a fleeting moment, she considered waking him, but what would she say? That she regretted everything? That she couldn't face him because she was too ashamed of herself?

Instead, she grabbed her heels, tiptoeing to the door. As she reached for the door, she paused. A part of her wanted to turn around, to wake him and say… what? She didn't even know him. The idea of facing his calm, knowing gaze was unbearable.

She slipped out of the room, the door clicking softly behind her. The hallway stretched out before her, unfamiliar and silent, each step seeming louder than it should be. Her heart hammered in her chest as she moved away from David's room. She didn't even know the name of the building, but it felt like everything about this moment was wrong. The soft hum of the building made her feel more exposed, like every noise was magnified. Reaching the elevator, she stepped inside, pressing the button for the ground floor, her mind a whirlwind of guilt and confusion.

The elevator came to a smooth stop, the doors sliding open with a soft chime. She stepped out into the quiet lobby, her pace quickening as she moved toward the exit, her head lowered, avoiding any attention. The weight of shame pressed heavily on her, making her steps feel hurried and disjointed. When she reached the door, she pushed it open and stepped out into the early morning light, the fresh morning air hitting her like a slap, but it did nothing to soothe her.

She walked briskly to the roadside, her thoughts clouded, her heart racing. The streets were still, the city just beginning to wake up. She flagged down the first taxi she saw, sliding into the backseat with shaky hands.

"Where to?" the driver asked, his voice gruff.

Emily hesitated. "Home," she murmured, giving him her address.

The ride home felt excruciatingly long. The city passed by in a blur of gray buildings and muted sunlight. Her reflection in the taxi window stared back at her, hollow and tired. She felt disgusting, like she'd betrayed herself. It wasn't just about the sex; it was the fact that she'd let her guard down for someone she'd known for less than a day.

When the taxi stopped in front of her apartment building, she scanned the courtyard nervously. She prayed Mrs. Rachel wasn't outside. Facing her neighbor—David's godmother—was the last thing she needed.

To her relief, the courtyard was empty. Emily hurried inside, locking the door behind her. She leaned against it, her breathing uneven as the events of the night threatened to overwhelm her.

She couldn't stay here. The thought of facing Mrs. Rachel, or worse, David, was unbearable. She felt trapped, suffocated by her own shame.

Emily grabbed a suitcase from her closet, throwing clothes and essentials into it with frantic hands. She didn't bother to organize; she just needed to leave. Her hands trembled as she zipped the bag shut.

The shame was suffocating. She needed to get out—far away from the memories of last night and the mess she'd created. Her aunt's invitation suddenly felt like a lifeline. Aunt Clarice had been asking her for years to visit Wintrell, a city known for its serene landscapes and quiet towns. Emily had always declined, but now it felt like the escape she desperately needed.

She grabbed her passport from the drawer and stared at it for a moment. It was her escape, her ticket to freedom from the shame that now seemed to cling to her like a shadow.

Emily booked the first flight she could find to Wintrell, not caring about anything but getting away. Her hands shook as she confirmed the booking and received her e-ticket.

She called another taxi and waited by the window, her suitcase at her side. When the car finally pulled up, she grabbed her things and left without a backward glance.

The airport was a flurry of activity—travelers rushing to catch flights, announcements blaring over the intercom, the faint smell of coffee and fast food lingering in the air. Emily navigated the chaos on autopilot, her suitcase in tow and her mind numb.

At the ticket counter, she handed over her passport and confirmed her flight.

"Any checked luggage?" the agent asked.

"No," Emily replied, her voice flat as she tightened her grip on the suitcase.

The agent handed her the boarding pass. "Gate 14. Boarding starts in 45 minutes."

Emily nodded and made her way toward security, her heart pounding. The line moved slowly, giving her too much time to think. Regret gnawed at her, each step forward feeling heavier than the last.

When she finally reached her gate, Emily sank into a chair by the window. She stared out at the planes on the tarmac, her thoughts spiraling. She thought of Mrs. Rachel, of the trust her neighbor had placed in her. She thought of David, of the peace on his face as he slept, unaware of the storm raging inside her.

When the boarding call came, Emily stood and joined the line. Her hands trembled as she handed over her boarding pass and stepped onto the jet bridge.

Inside the plane, she found her seat by the window and buckled her seatbelt. The engines roared to life, and the plane began to taxi down the runway.

As the plane lifted into the sky, Emily stared out at the shrinking city below. A single tear rolled down her cheek, and she didn't bother to wipe it away.

For the first time, she allowed herself to breathe. She didn't know what lay ahead, but she knew she couldn't face what she was leaving behind. The shame, the regret, the people she had let down—they were all behind her now.

And as the plane soared higher, Emily closed her eyes, letting the hum of the engines drown out the noise in her mind. For now, she was free.