LIGHTNOVELWORLD Chapter 226
Chapter 226
**Why are you so desperate to hide the fact that I composed the song?**
“That’s…”
I might have understood if it was to keep it from the other members, but there was no reason not to tell Representative Ban Ga-eul.
When it came to saying it out loud, however, I felt incredibly embarrassed.
“It’s just that…”
Representative Ban Ga-eul patiently waited for me, struggling internally about whether to speak or not.
“I’m the only one in Orca who…”
“Yes, only you, Raon?”
“I’m worried that if people find out I composed the song this time, I’ll receive too much attention.”
My timid words, spoken in an unusually small voice, made Representative Ban Ga-eul widen her eyes behind her glasses.
‘Does she realize that every time she makes that expression, she looks just like Ban Yo-han…’
Avoiding Representative Ban Ga-eul’s wise gaze, I quickly added more words while fixing my eyes on the low table between us.
“I mean, I’m obviously not good enough to stand out on my own…”
Representative Ban Ga-eul gave a noncommittal “Yes,” neither strongly agreeing nor disagreeing.
“It’s just that, up until now, I’ve had a bit more exposure to the public compared to the other members because of various activities like appearing on variety shows, being the MC of Music Pong Pong, or because of past events. It wasn’t so much my ability as it was luck. I think I’m already receiving more attention than I deserve.”
I took a sip of my slightly lukewarm orange juice and continued.
“And somehow, my song was lucky enough to be chosen as the title track for this album. Whether this promotion goes well or not, thinking about the attention I’ll get makes me a bit uneasy.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes… I’m worried that if I’m the only one who stands out, it might create a bad atmosphere for the group in the long run. Not that I’m looking down on the other members. It’s just how I feel. It’s ridiculous to think I’m the only one doing well, but I heard something similar from a senior idol recently, so it’s been on my mind.”
Incidentally, Joo Yeon-ho once told me about a group where one or two members were heavily promoted, leading to the group’s short lifespan.
“What did I just say…?”
I thought it might be better to end this embarrassing moment quickly, so I forced out each word hastily.
I felt truly ashamed.
“I feel like I just said something really strange and arrogant. I’m sorry…”
I apologized in a dying voice, like talking to myself, and buried my face in my hands like a foolish pheasant hiding its head in the sand to escape the gaze of Representative Ban Ga-eul, who had listened without interrupting.
My face and ears were burning hot.
Being someone who could feel embarrassment, I wanted to run out of the office immediately.
Even though I had tried to wrap it nicely, in the end, it was a presumptuous worry that Orca might face turmoil while I alone succeeded.
I couldn’t meet Representative Ban Ga-eul’s eyes, who had patiently listened to my incoherent words.
What if she finds my groundless confidence absurd?
Of course, Representative Ban Ga-eul, being a kind and good-natured adult, wouldn’t blatantly do that, but you can never truly know someone’s thoughts without a system alert.
That’s why I couldn’t tell the members.
If I told them, even if I asked them to keep it secret, they would have pestered me, asking why I was hiding it from the Aeries and why I couldn’t just reveal it.
How could I possibly share such a vain story out of embarrassment?
It was better to keep it hidden from the start.
– Hae-jae.
…It seemed I had failed to keep it completely hidden already.
At least Ban Yo-han, even though he might tease me, wasn’t the type to blab it to others recklessly.
“…”
But, putting aside the risk of him telling others, wasn’t my worry somewhat valid upon reflection?
The company had been paying attention to ensuring balance among the members, so it wouldn’t be disrupted excessively, even before our debut.
It’s a bit old news, but there were countless CF offers that came solely to me, the exceptionally handsome one. Thanks to variety shows like Pick Heart and Ten to Ten, my personal recognition was quite high.
Then there was the incident with True, which was the icing on the cake.
And now, if people find out that I composed a song for our upcoming album, the first to be released after the incident?
Moreover, the song wasn’t just included; it was chosen as the title track through a blind vote?
From an objective standpoint, wasn’t it a game over in terms of ability?
‘…On second thought, it feels like I’m just a fool, unlike Seo Moon-gyeol.’
Of course, it would take a long time for me to catch up with Seo Moon-gyeol’s skill, who practiced diligently every day as if undergoing some training.
[Whether you’re self-aware or not… Intelligence –1, Wisdom +1]
This guy, who rarely appears, was nibbling away at my precious intelligence without doing anything nice.
And since it’s noisy, it would be great if you could talk to the system window instead of out loud.
[I don’t want to.]
…I want to request the Dimensional Administration to allow blocking dedicated manager messages.
[Such a hurtful remark. Larry’s Affection –??? Current Affection ???]
“So, that’s what you were thinking.”
Finally, Representative Ban Ga-eul, who had been deep in thought, spoke up.
“First of all, thank you for being honest. Thanks to you, I understand your thoughts well.”
Her voice remained calm, without any sign of disturbance, making me unconsciously lift my head from my hands.
Fortunately, there was no sign of mockery or reprimand on her face.
“No… I should have mentioned this to the company staff first if it was an issue.”
“Well, it’s natural to feel that way sometimes. You didn’t do anything wrong, so don’t be so discouraged. Actually, I did something similar when I was younger. Although I was a composer, not an entertainer, it was quite similar to your situation.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
Representative Ban Ga-eul, with a gentle smile, continued.
“And I didn’t find your words strange or arrogant at all. I think it’s a worry you can have, especially from your perspective.”
“…”
“I’m grateful as the company representative that you care about the group. It means you’ve been thinking about the group first, not just now but from the beginning.”
“No, it’s just… I came to this company because I wanted to be with the other members in Orca.”
If I wanted to succeed as a solo artist, I would have gone to a company with more capital and faster work processes.
“Haha, our company does have its shortcomings, right?”
“No, not at all.”
Representative Ban Ga-eul playfully glanced at me, who almost blurted out my true feelings due to the relaxed atmosphere.
“Well, facts are facts. But Raon, if you really want to, it’s okay to do what you want without worrying about the others or the company.”
“But…”
“It’s good to be humble, but from my perspective and others’, you’re doing well enough, so you can be a bit more confident.”
“That’s all because of luck.”
“Raon,” she said, crossing her arms and calling my name sternly.
“If there’s one thing I can say was lucky in your life, it’s that you were born with the most handsome face in the world?”
It was a playful yet genuinely comforting remark that instantly dissolved the tension that had been gradually easing through our gentle conversation.
“Just kidding. Being handsome alone doesn’t guarantee success in the entertainment industry. There are so many handsome and pretty celebrities who have been forgotten.”
“Even if they are as handsome as me?”
“…You always brim with confidence when it comes to your looks.”
Representative Ban Ga-eul avoided answering.
“Anyway, you know, getting attention once for your looks is possible. But maintaining that attention is a different story.”
“…”
“If you still find it hard to accept my words, consider that luck as part of your ability.”
Seeing it as my ability made me want to check how high my luck stats had climbed over time.
“But from what I’ve seen, most of the things you think are luck are actually the results of your hard work.”
“…Do you think so?”
“Yes. Was there anything you did that was easy or handed to you?”
…There wasn’t.
Representative Ban Ga-eul, seeing my expression, gave a warm smile and changed the topic.
“On the other hand, if the other members find out later that they held back their promising youngest member, how do you think they would feel?”
“That’s…”
I imagined the scenario Representative Ban Ga-eul mentioned.
Even if the other members didn’t mind, Gyun Seong-ha would…
‘I think he’d cry again, asking what we mean to me.’
“They’re all more sensitive than they seem. If hiding this is not just for yourself but also for the other members, I hope you’ve thought about that part too. You know, each one of them is outstanding enough to stand out anywhere.”
I nodded.
“Yes, I’ll think about it.”
Right after I answered, my stomach growled.
Representative Ban Ga-eul chuckled softly.
“I said I’d let you go soon, but I kept you too long. You can go now. Enjoy your chicken.”
“Yes. Thank you for the advice, even though it’s late.”
I grabbed the half-finished orange juice and stood up.
“Oh, it’s your first time officially working as a composer, so there will be many things you’ll struggle with. I’ll help you with those parts. Of course, only if you want, and without drawing attention from others.”
“Ah, thank you!”
I had felt a bit overwhelmed thinking about how to handle the things mentioned in the meeting earlier, so it was a relief.
I felt lighter, having one less burden as I left the office.
“Uh…”
As soon as I opened the door, I ran into Seo Moon-gyeol, who wore a calm expression. I stopped in my tracks.
“You were taking a while.”
But I knew.
“Let’s go.”
He had heard everything.