Chapter 4 - The Art of Balance , Ha Yeonsoo (33, Pilates & Yoga Instructor / Divorcée ) (R19)
“Phew.”
As Ha Yeonsoo drew back the curtains, warm sunlight spilled into the room.
Having wrapped up a short adult broadcast in the early hours of the morning, she had slept like a baby.
After a racy stream, her heart would pound wildly, but the moment she hit the soft embrace of her bed, she’d drift off into a peaceful sleep. Even her dreams felt like she was floating on clouds.
Humming a tune, she stepped into the shower.
This was the double life she led.
What started as harmless photos of her figure in front of a mirror, her face hidden by her phone, had evolved into live broadcasts. What began as a small indulgence had now become her greatest thrill.
By day, she was a celebrated Pilates and yoga instructor.
By night, she was an anonymous star in the adult streaming world.
Her achievements were impressive: nearing a Gold Button on YouTube, frequent appearances on cable shows, awards from the Pilates Association for outstanding promotion, and a powerful voice in the media thanks to her massive following.
And all of it came down to this body.
The reflection in the shower mirror revealed a perfectly sculpted figure, not an ounce of excess fat.
Her naturally full chest was an asset, but Yeonsoo’s true pride was her lower body.
Wide hips and toned thighs drew attention wherever she went, leaving men salivating. And Yeonsoo didn’t mind the attention.
In her prime, the constant buzz around her felt like annoying flies by the river. But as she entered her 30s, her libido had surged, and she began to enjoy the attention.
Perhaps that’s why she had ventured into streaming.
Having achieved fame, wealth, and a glamorous career, life had started to feel dull. The lustful gazes of younger men became her source of entertainment, leading her naturally to adult broadcasting.
She reveled in the thrill of her virtual alter ego, a cruder, more uninhibited version of herself that felt excitingly vulgar.
Unlike her regular yoga tutorials, where professionalism was paramount, these streams offered tantalizing exposure paired with sticky, seductive language that earned her both adoration and degradation.
Her viewers showered her with praise for her well-maintained physique, turning her career symbol into a personal celebration.
The streams were addictive, lifting her self-esteem to dizzying heights and filling her with an undeniable sense of being desired.
But the streams also came with risks.
As her cumulative streaming hours passed 100, she had a moment of clarity.
She decided to channel her urges into more traditional means, resolving to meet men in person rather than on camera. She also began searching for a new passion to replace streaming.
After her divorce, she had dated wealthy, educated, and accomplished men, picking the best of the best. But her interest in them never lasted.
Polite and overly accommodating gentlemen bored her.
Ironically, her divorce had been caused by her own infidelity, yet her relationships post-divorce were fewer and shorter-lived.
She tried more subdued hobbies like flower arranging and tea ceremonies, even going as far as signing up for classes. But she gave up after the first session every time.
That’s when Yeonsoo realized:
Her goal wasn’t ambition or growth anymore.
She just wanted to enjoy pleasure.
The raw, grimy thrill of her streams, the fiery stimulation that lit up her chest—it was unlike anything else.
She no longer craved attractive, conventional men just to boost her ego. She wanted something instinctively tantalizing, something sticky and satisfying.
She needed excitement that could genuinely arouse her.
So far, streaming was the only thing that fit the bill.
“Now that I think about it, that male student… he’s been coming regularly.”
Stepping out of the shower, she toweled off, her thoughts wandering.
Most male students who joined her classes after seeing her broadcasts didn’t last long. They came with lustful intentions, only to be humiliated by her spandex-clad professionalism and quit after a class or two.
But he was different.
Tall, slightly above average. Decently built, though not exceptionally striking. He had a boyish charm but wasn’t particularly memorable.
Except for one thing.
When he stretched his legs, the outline of what lay beneath the spandex was impossible to miss. It wasn’t just big—it was remarkable.
Frankly, in all her experience, she hadn’t seen anything quite like it.
“Bigger isn’t always better,” she mused.
Many men with such confidence in their size ended up being disappointments in bed. They’d fumble through, clueless and overconfident, then ask smugly if it was good for her.
The world was full of such clichés.
“Still, his effort is endearing. Maybe I’ll give him a chance.”
From day one, he had boldly asked for her number. His audacity had amused her, and his youthful eagerness was hard to ignore.
His lecherous gaze, so obvious yet unashamed, didn’t bother her either.
If he kept this up, she might just reward his persistence. Humming to herself, she finished toweling off.
─ “Thank you for your hard work!”
The morning class ended, and the students and instructors exchanged polite farewells.
Still sweaty and annoyed by the lingering discomfort of her spandex, she wiped her damp hair with a towel while scrolling through her phone.
As she sipped water to rehydrate, someone approached her from behind.
A light tap on her shoulder made her turn around. It was Ha Yeonsoo.
“Good work today, Seonwoo,” she said with a warm smile.
“Oh, thank you… Is something the matter?”
Seonwoo had just completed his fifth Pilates session, earning the nickname Kkotuk-Twi (a teasing reference to his… prominence in spandex).
Ha Yeon-soo smiled, showing her pearly white teeth. Her small face radiated warmth.
“Honestly, I appreciate how dedicated you are.”
“Appreciate? Why?” Seonwoo raised an eyebrow.
“Most men don’t last more than a day or two in Pilates. It’s not that they can’t do it, but they feel awkward or uncomfortable and end up leaving. You’re the first male student who’s shown such commitment,” Yeon-soo said with a genuine smile.
“Well, it’s only been five days,” Seonwoo replied, scratching his cheek sheepishly.
Yeon-soo laughed softly. “Even so, it’s impressive. This space can feel overwhelming—it’s not easy to be the only man surrounded by women. And I know some of the older students can be a bit cheeky. You’ve adapted really well.”
“Maybe I’m just shameless,” Seonwoo joked, his tone light. “But thanks.”
Yeon-soo’s gaze briefly flickered downward, and then she hesitated before speaking again.
“I… I hope the temporary outfit we’ve given you hasn’t been too uncomfortable. We usually don’t stock men’s sizes, but seeing your dedication, I’d be happy to order something more suitable.”
Seonwoo smiled at her offer but shook his head. “No need. I’ve managed just fine so far. Actually, there’s something else I wanted to ask about.”
“Oh? What is it?” Yeon-soo leaned forward slightly, her curiosity piqued.
Seonwoo pulled out his phone and showed her a video. “I came across this pose online. Could you help me figure it out?”
Yeon-soo leaned closer to see the screen, but her expression quickly froze.
The video showed a woman performing a provocative dance. Although her face was covered by a mask, the figure in the video had a striking resemblance to Yeon-soo—from her posture to her well-toned thighs.
Yeon-soo’s cheeks flushed, and she straightened up quickly. “W-where did you find that? It’s… inappropriate to show me something like this out of the blue, Seonwoo.”
Her attempt to brush it off was less than convincing. She turned the phone away from herself and laughed awkwardly, but Seonwoo noticed her tension.
“Really? I thought she looked a bit like someone I know,” Seonwoo teased, his tone light but pointed.
“That’s ridiculous. I don’t know who that is. Please put your phone away—it’s unpleasant to see,” Yeon-soo said firmly, but her unease was evident.
“Alright, alright,” Seonwoo said, slipping his phone back into his pocket. “But you know, it’s funny how people on the internet can make all kinds of connections these days. If I were to upload this video somewhere, I wonder how long it would take for someone to start speculating…”
His words trailed off, but the implication was clear. Yeon-soo’s lips pressed into a thin line, and her eyes darted around the room as if searching for an escape.
Seonwoo softened his tone. “I’m not here to cause you trouble, Ms. Ha. I respect you a lot—as my instructor and as a person. But if there’s something you’re worried about, maybe we can talk about it?”
Yeon-soo hesitated, her hands clutching the towel around her neck. She knew he had figured out her secret, and though his tone was calm, the underlying tension was unmistakable.
“Let’s… go somewhere private to talk,” she said finally, her voice low.
Seonwoo nodded, sensing her apprehension. “Sure. Let’s go to the lounge area or somewhere quieter.”
Yeon-soo hesitated. “No… not here. Let’s go to my place. It’s nearby, and we won’t be interrupted.”
Seonwoo blinked, surprised by the suggestion, but quickly nodded. “If you’re comfortable with that, lead the way.”
At Yeon-soo’s Apartment
The short walk to her apartment was silent, with tension hanging between them. Yeon-soo’s small frame seemed even smaller as she walked ahead, her shoulders slightly hunched.
When they arrived, she gestured for Seonwoo to sit on the couch while she grabbed water from the kitchen. Her apartment was tastefully minimalistic, with earthy tones and soft lighting, reflecting her Pilates and yoga aesthetic.
She returned with two glasses of water and sat across from him, her hands fidgeting in her lap.
“Okay,” she began, her voice steady but soft. “I’ll admit it. That video… it’s me.”
Seonwoo leaned back, processing her admission.
“I started doing adult streaming a while ago,” she continued, avoiding his gaze. “It wasn’t something I planned, but it… happened. And it got bigger than I expected. It was thrilling, and at first, it felt harmless, like another side of me I could explore. But now…” She sighed, her shoulders slumping. “Now, it’s become a weight I carry. And honestly, it scares me how easily it could all fall apart if someone connects me to those videos.”
Seonwoo sipped his water, letting her speak without interruption.
“I know you must think I’m… ridiculous. A Pilates instructor with a double life.” She laughed bitterly. “I’ve thought about stopping so many times, but it’s hard to let go. It’s addictive, being seen, being wanted.”
“I don’t think you’re ridiculous,” Seonwoo said finally, his tone calm. “I think you’re human. People have all kinds of reasons for doing what they do. You don’t owe me or anyone else an explanation, but I’m glad you trusted me enough to tell me this.”
Yeon-soo looked up, her eyes searching his for judgment, but found none.
“You’re not… going to use this against me?” she asked cautiously.
Seonwoo shook his head. “Why would I? You’re my instructor, and I respect you. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”
Her shoulders relaxed slightly.
“Look,” he continued, “if you want to keep this part of your life private, that’s your choice. I just… I don’t want you to feel like you’re cornered or alone. Whatever you decide, it’s your call.”
Yeon-soo sat silently for a moment, absorbing his words. Then, for the first time in what felt like hours, she smiled—a small, genuine smile.
“Thank you,” she said softly. “You’re… not what I expected.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Seonwoo replied with a grin.
The tension between them eased, replaced by a newfound understanding. For the first time, Yeon-soo felt like someone had seen her—not the Pilates instructor, not the anonymous streamer, but her.
As Seonwoo left her apartment that evening, she watched him go with a mix of relief and gratitude. Maybe, just maybe, she could start untangling the complicated threads of her double life.
And for the first time in a long while, she didn’t feel entirely alone.