Harry Potter and The Rise of The New White Lord

Chaos was practically salivating with glee, their figurative hands rubbing together as if this was the moment they'd been waiting for their entire existence.

"Alright," I began carefully but with growing confidence. "This one's for you, Chaos. Sixth wish: I wish to be born with the ultimate ability to control fire—not just flames, but animals with fire affinity as well. Scratch that—make it so I have a Sharingan instead."

A moment of stunned silence.

Chaos froze mid-cackle as if I'd just handed them the keys to the proverbial insanity kingdom. "Hold the absolute wait a goddamned minute here! Did you just pull an anime deep cut on me?! Kid, you're insane. I love you."

Order, for once, looked wary. "Go on," they said, their voice calm but with an edge of caution.

"Yeah," I said, voice brimming with determination now. "A Sharingan. But give me a mixture of Kakashi Hatake's and Madara Uchiha's Sharingans. I want the ability to copy techniques and, of course, the full power: Susano'o, Amaterasu—everything. And no blindness or bleeding, okay? Let's not get weird about it."

Order's thoughtful hum filled the space, but this time, it felt heavier, almost as if they were weighing consequences I couldn't comprehend. At last, they responded, "Granted. You will awaken a Sharingan uniquely suited to this world, imbued with all its legendary powers, untainted by its original weaknesses. However, its potential again lies in your mastery. Chaos, your thoughts?"

Chaos let out a gleeful bark of laughter. "My thoughts? Oh, Order, my thoughts are FIRE! Literal and metaphorical! Kid, this is what I'm TALKING about. You've gone off the deep end, and I am HERE for it."

I barked a laugh of my own—if disembodied entities could laugh, that is. I felt the spark of excitement Chaos radiated from the wish. "Alright, for my seventh and final wish…"

Chaos leaned in eagerly. I could almost see their mismatched eyes shimmering with anticipation. "YES. This better knock me out of existence from sheer awesomeness."

I smirked—or at least, I felt like I did. "Make me super handsome. Like, black hair, slender body, and give me rectangular glasses that fit perfectly. And make them look amazing no matter what outfit or occasion. Basically, I want to be dripping with unattainable hotness."

Chaos let out an ear-piercing cackle that somehow conveyed delighted disgust. "Are you hearing this, Order? This kid's asking for charisma hacks! They're not even power-gaming anymore—they've moved straight on to endgame aesthetics!"

Order exhaled slowly, as if trying very hard not to roll their metaphorical eyes. "Granted," they said, the word inflected with an uncharacteristic weariness. "You will possess the appearance you desire. Though physical beauty is a gift, it is also a challenge—to wield it well requires humility and wisdom. Tread carefully."

"Oh, I will," I said, my tone suspiciously innocent.

"One last thing," I added before either of them could respond. "This isn't technically a wish, but please make me a Muggle-born. And… keep my name from this life."

Chaos audibly gasped. "A MUGGLE-BORN? You're walking into the wizarding world at DEFCON CHAOS LEVEL 10, and you're choosing to start at a societal disadvantage? You are DELICIOUSLY stupid—I adore it." They sniffed theatrically and wiped away a nonexistent tear. "I'm so proud of you, you beautiful disaster."

Order, however, nodded approvingly. "I commend your decision. To succeed from such a foundation will require courage, perseverance, and exceptional ability. Your wishes have shaped a potent path for you; now tread it wisely." With that, their voice turned soft but resolute. "It is done. Your new life awaits."

Chaos clapped enthusiastically, the sound like a firework explosion in a tin can. "Kid, when you wake up, remember to do something with all this potential, okay? And if you don't, I'm coming back to haunt you just for fun!"

"Deal," I replied, smirking inwardly.