“Help! I’m the Chosen One (and I Didn’t Sign Up for This)!”

The day started like any other. The trio trudged down a dirt road, bickering about absolutely nothing.

"I'm just saying," Lyria said, tossing an apple core into the bushes, "if we had a flying carpet, this journey would be way faster."

"And I'm just saying," Mika snapped, "that your ideas are stupid."

"Not all of them!" Lyria protested. "Remember the picnic?"

"You mean the one where we got attacked by a bear?" Mika said, glaring.

"It was a romantic bear," Lyria insisted.

Kazuya sighed. "Can we not start this again?"

But before anyone could retort, a figure stumbled out of the forest ahead of them. He was an older man, dressed in tattered robes, clutching a glowing crystal.

"You there!" the man shouted, his voice trembling. "Are you adventurers?"

"Depends," Mika said warily. "What's the catch?"

The man fell to his knees. "My village is in danger! You must help us!"

"Of course we'll help!" Kazuya said instinctively.

Mika groaned. "Here we go again."

The Crystal of Chaos

The old man introduced himself as Edrin, the last mage of the nearby village of Wobblewick. He explained that their village guardian, a giant chicken named Cluckthulhu, had gone rogue after someone accidentally fed it cursed corn.

"It's destroying everything!" Edrin cried, clutching Kazuya's hand. "Please, you must calm it down before it lays the Apocalypse Egg!"

Kazuya blinked. "I'm sorry, the what now?"

"The Apocalypse Egg," Edrin repeated gravely. "If it hatches, it will release untold horrors upon the world."

Mika buried her face in her hands. "Why is it always us?"

"Because destiny loves chaos," Lyria said cheerfully.

Welcome to Wobblewick

The village of Wobblewick was exactly what you'd expect from a place named Wobblewick: quaint, chaotic, and somehow perpetually on fire. Villagers ran screaming in every direction as a massive, feathered monstrosity rampaged through the town square.

Cluckthulhu was at least three stories tall, its glowing red eyes scanning for its next victim. It clucked ominously, each sound echoing like thunder.

"Well, that's… terrifying," Kazuya said, gripping his sword.

"You think?" Mika said, drawing her own weapon.

"Aw, it's kind of cute!" Lyria said, snapping a quick sketch in her notebook.

"Focus!" Mika snapped.

The Plan (Or Lack Thereof)

"Okay," Kazuya said, trying to sound confident. "We need a plan."

"Got it," Mika said. "We kill the chicken."

Edrin gasped. "No! You can't! Cluckthulhu is our sacred guardian!"

"Your sacred guardian is trying to burn down your village," Mika pointed out.

"Perhaps there's another way?" Kazuya suggested.

Edrin nodded eagerly. "If you can retrieve the Crystal of Calm from the Caves of Catastrophe, you can use it to pacify Cluckthulhu!"

"Of course it's in a cave," Mika muttered. "Why wouldn't it be?"

The Caves of Catastrophe

The Caves of Catastrophe were exactly as inviting as they sounded: dark, damp, and filled with ominous growls.

"Watch your step," Lyria said, pointing to a glowing patch of moss. "That stuff is alive."

"What do you mean it's alive?" Kazuya asked nervously.

Before Lyria could answer, the moss lunged at him.

"THAT'S what I mean," she said, dodging another patch.

"Fantastic," Mika muttered, cutting through the moss with her sword. "Why does every quest involve something trying to eat us?"

"Because it's fun!" Lyria said, dodging another lunge.

The Guardian of the Crystal

At the heart of the cave, they found the Crystal of Calm glowing on a pedestal. Unfortunately, it was guarded by a grumpy-looking goblin with a spiked club.

"Who dares disturb my lair?" the goblin growled.

"Uh, hi!" Kazuya said, trying his best to sound friendly. "We just need that crystal, and we'll be on our way."

The goblin laughed. "You think you can just take it? This crystal is MINE!"

"Great," Mika said, drawing her sword. "Another fight."

But before anyone could move, Lyria stepped forward.

"Wait!" she said, holding up her hands. "Let me handle this."

The goblin eyed her warily. "What do you want?"

Lyria grinned. "How about a trade? This shiny gold coin for that boring old crystal."

The goblin squinted at her. "Just one coin?"

Lyria leaned in conspiratorially. "It's a magic coin."

The goblin's eyes widened. "Magic, you say?"

"Absolutely," Lyria said, handing it over. "Just don't spend it all in one place."

As the goblin scampered off, clutching the coin, Mika stared at her. "You're unbelievable."

"You're welcome," Lyria said, grabbing the crystal.

The Calm Before the Cluck

Back in Wobblewick, they returned just in time to see Cluckthulhu preparing to lay the Apocalypse Egg.

"Hurry!" Edrin shouted.

Kazuya raised the Crystal of Calm, which began to glow brightly. Cluckthulhu froze, its glowing red eyes turning a serene blue.

"Did it work?" Kazuya asked, lowering the crystal.

Cluckthulhu let out a soft cluck and promptly fell asleep, its massive body blocking half the village.

"I think so," Mika said, poking it cautiously.

"Congratulations!" Lyria said, patting Kazuya on the back. "You saved the day!"

"Let's never talk about this again," Mika said.

"Agreed," Kazuya said.

Edrin beamed. "You've saved Wobblewick! Truly, you are heroes!"

"Don't mention it," Mika said dryly. "Ever."

Back on the Road

As they left Wobblewick behind, Lyria couldn't stop laughing.

"I can't believe we just fought a giant chicken," she said, wiping tears from her eyes.

"Technically, we didn't fight it," Kazuya said. "We… pacified it."

"Still counts," Lyria said.

Mika sighed. "Can we just find a normal quest for once?"

"With our luck?" Kazuya said. "Not a chance."

As they disappeared down the road, the villagers of Wobblewick waved goodbye, grateful for their unlikely heroes.