How not to fall for your grumpy best friend

Sophie could already hear her phone ringing from across the room, but she wasn't about to move. She had just put on her most comfortable sweatpants and a loose tee with a pizza stain on it—the perfect outfit for a night of "just one more episode" of her favorite show. She was done with today.

But then, the phone rang again. This time, Sophie sighed dramatically and grabbed it from the table. It was Ethan. Of course it was. Who else would it be?

"Hey, Soph, what's up?" Ethan's voice crackled from the other end, far too cheerful for a Tuesday night.

Sophie blinked at the ceiling, trying to calm her irritated heart. "I'm contemplating my life choices after you asked me to set up your blind date. Again."

"Hey, you've been doing an amazing job so far," Ethan shot back, clearly not getting the sarcasm dripping from her words. "Like, you set up that date with Karen, right? She's super chill."

"Yeah, 'super chill' while she talked about her plans to sell homemade crystals online and ask me if I knew how to get on a spiritual path to enlightenment," Sophie muttered, holding back a groan.

Ethan was quiet for a second. Sophie could just imagine him scratching his head. "So... that didn't work out?"

Sophie let out a breath. "She had a nice collection of chakra rocks, but I'm pretty sure she was waiting for me to manifest our next date through the power of positive energy. It was… wild."

Ethan chuckled. "Hey, you can't blame me for trying, alright? I told you, Grandma says I need to get out there and find someone before she sets me up with another one of her 'wholesome, traditional women.'"

Sophie's eyes twitched. "Oh, that's right. Your grandma. The woman who thinks everyone is a good match for you. I swear, every time she texts me, I feel like I'm participating in a twisted game of matchmaking bingo."

"Well, we both know she's serious," Ethan said, his tone slipping into mock seriousness. "She's already got her eyes on Susie, the baker who bakes a whole lotta love into every muffin. She's practically already picked out our wedding colors, Soph."

Sophie snorted. "Ethan, you can't let her set you up with Susie. The last thing you need is a baker with an obsession for matching aprons."

Ethan's laugh echoed through the phone. "Oh trust me, Susie's a trip, but we both know Grandma doesn't quit until she has someone lined up. She's like a matchmaking ninja." He paused, then added in an almost too casual tone, "By the way, I'm also getting another blind date set up this Saturday. Think I'll find the one?"

Sophie slapped her palm to her forehead. "You are the one who asked me to set up your dates, and yet you're still surprised when your grandma's choices end up in a disaster?"

"Not my fault," Ethan said defensively. "And don't act like you don't love playing matchmaker. You secretly enjoy the chaos of it all."

She threw herself onto the couch. "I swear, Ethan, if I have to hear one more thing about you being 'wedded to destiny' through these blind dates, I might scream."

"Oh, come on, Soph," Ethan said, trying to lighten the mood, "you get to sit back, eat popcorn, and watch me crash and burn. It's hilarious."

Sophie knew better than to argue. Ethan's blind dates were legendary for all the wrong reasons—ranging from the woman who accidentally spilled red wine all over him to the girl who tried to sell him yoga mats halfway through dinner.

"Fine," she relented. "I'll set up another one. But this is the last one, I swear."

"Okay, okay, you've got me," Ethan teased. "But hey, you still haven't met Grandma yet. Just wait till you do. She's like a magical force of nature. I can't even begin to explain her to people. She's the real reason I'm single."

---

Ethan's Family: The Chaos Generators

The next morning, Sophie found herself at Ethan's family gathering, having been invited by him as part of some "special mission" he'd given her. Sophie had never met his family before, and she was not prepared for what she was about to walk into.

Ethan's house? Check. Ethan's entire family? Check. Ethan's overbearing mom? A walking storm of matchmaking and unsolicited advice.

Ethan's mom, Mrs. D'Angelo, wasted no time diving into her "accidental" matchmaking plan. "Sophie, darling, I don't know if Ethan has told you, but we have this family tradition where we invite someone special for dinner and see how they 'fit in.' I do hope you're not planning on taking Ethan away from us too soon…"

Sophie forced a smile. "No plans, Mrs. Maxwell."

"Oh good, because you're the one, dear. The one who understands him, right?" She winked and pointed at Sophie's plate. "You've got a nice full plate there, Sophie. You're welcome to the rest of Ethan's portion, too."

Sophie blinked. "Oh, I… I didn't order it—" But before she could explain, Zoe, Ethan's younger sister, leaned over and whispered loudly, "Grandma says you're the perfect match for him. The two of you have so much in common. Trust me."

Sophie froze. "Wait—your grandma said that?"

Zoe grinned. "Yup, Grandma Vivian has her eyes on you, Soph. And we all know when Grandma Vivian makes a match, it's made in heaven."

As if on cue, Grandma Vivian burst into the room with a tray of muffins. She didn't even wait for a greeting before blurting out, "You two are going to get married one day, mark my words."

Sophie was about to choke on her water. "Uhm… I think I'm just here to help Ethan with a few blind dates…"

Grandma raised an eyebrow. "No, dear. You'll need to do much more than that. My matchmaking radar is never wrong."

Sophie looked helplessly at Ethan, who was busy stuffing his face with potato salad. "Help me."

Ethan only gave a half-smile. "You're in the deep end now, Sophie."

And thus, Sophie was thrust into Ethan's chaotic, matchmaking family circus—a world where fate wasn't just in the stars; it was written in Grandma Vivian's muffin recipe.

Sophie could only laugh. She had no idea what she was getting into, but she was going to need more than just popcorn for this next round.