How to Survive as an Uchiha

Since Tobirama established the basic organizational structure of Konoha, the jonin corps had been a particularly unique military division.

During a time when other ninja villages were essentially alliances of ninja clans masquerading as villages, Tobirama, who had already founded the Ninja Academy, understood the profound implications of this initiative and implemented corresponding measures.

One measure was appointing the most reliable Senju, Muzo, as the acting principal of the Academy. The other was the immediate formation of the jonin corps.

The overt purpose of this organization was to efficiently allocate the village's jonin resources. However, its deeper function was to bridge the gap between different ninja clans and, in the future, between ninja clans and civilian-born jonin.

Incidentally, the leader of the first jonin corps was Tobirama himself, who also served as its instructor.

The jonin corps was designed to be a bright and open environment, a place to foster camaraderie among people. He believed it was the most suitable place for Muzo.

Although he often found Muzo's behavior frustrating, he still wanted him to live a more human life. That's why Tobirama unhesitatingly rejected Muzo's self-recommendation to join the ANBU and instead forcibly placed him in the jonin corps.

With the companionship of children and peers, he hoped this might help Muzo develop a more balanced mindset.

Tobirama guessed the process correctly but misjudged the outcome.

He hadn't anticipated that Muzo would later throw himself into socializing with women and even drag him along for matchmaking, with one of the dates being with an Uchiha.

In summary, the jonin corps was a place where darkness was not allowed to take root. It was also the core identity of Konoha.

The ANBU essentially served as the Hokage's enforcers, while the jonin corps represented the village itself.

From Tobirama's time through Hiruzen's era, the Hokage's office strictly safeguarded this institution.

Not a single Uchiha was allowed in the jonin corps, and the clan was institutionally confined to the Police Force.

Without the network and support of the jonin corps, any attempt by an Uchiha to vie for the Hokage position was a mere pipe dream.

This exclusivity became a key focus of Minato's reforms. His confidence stemmed from his overwhelming popularity in the jonin corps, where he enjoyed 100% approval.

To the jonin, he was first and foremost their former squad leader, and only secondarily the Hokage.

With such a solid foundation, Minato aspired to fundamentally resolve the conflict between the Uchiha and the Hokage's administration. However, at the start of his tenure, this vision was hard to implement.

Following the Nine-Tails incident, Danzō's case, and the war with Kumo, Minato's authority as Hokage became unshakable.

The advisory team began incorporating younger faces, and conservative policies were increasingly overshadowed by the aspirations of a younger generation eager for change.

The two elder advisors, though unmovable in their positions, rarely opposed the Hokage's decisions outright.

Hiruzen, who might have had the power to challenge Minato's authority, had lost interest in politics after Danzō's death and instead focused on enjoying his retirement.

Finally, the stage was set for comprehensive reform.

Under these circumstances, Masashi's reassignment unfolded naturally—he transitioned from a member of the Police Force to the jonin corps.

It was foreseeable that Shisui, who had joined the ANBU earlier, would soon become the second.

Under Minato's leadership, the ANBU was undergoing downsizing and would primarily focus on intelligence gathering.

The former Root's intelligence operatives were merged into the ANBU, while its combat units were reorganized into Special Operations Squads tasked with missions assigned by the Hokage and organized by the jonin corps.

His reforms emphasized fostering unity, ensuring that all actions carried out in the name of the village adhered to standard protocols, and eliminating factors that could breed mistrust among ninja.

This was the philosophy of a Hokage who embodied benevolent governance.

It also resonated deeply with Masashi.

Thus, when he received Minato's dinner invitation, he happily accepted.

Incidentally, Fugaku's family was also invited.

The two families had been visiting each other more frequently, which didn't raise any eyebrows. After all, Kushina and Mikoto had been close friends since their student days—a well-known fact.

As for Fugaku, though he was often criticized by fans of the series, he actually had a decent reputation in the village. Once, he had been a battlefield hero, earning respect from many comrades.

When Masashi arrived, Kushina was in the kitchen cooking, while Minato, looking flustered, opened the door.

"Ah, you're finally here. Quick, lend me a hand," he said, clearly overwhelmed. "The diapers are on the sofa—I'll grab them."

Minato was utterly clueless about childcare.

Baby Naruto had just peed all over him and was still squirming energetically in his arms.

Meanwhile, baby Sasuke, held by Mikoto, seemed to sense his "rival's" challenge. Not to be outdone, he began wriggling as well, exuding a vibe that said, "If you throw water, I'll throw bombs."

Fugaku, maintaining his stoic expression, extended his hand to his wife.

"Mikoto, help Minato. I'll hold Sasuke."

Even in casual settings like this, clan politics never rest, Masashi noted.

Changing his own child's diapers was one thing, but helping another man clean up after getting peed on?

That wasn't behavior befitting a composed Uchiha clan leader.

Masashi, observing Fugaku's body language, caught the message loud and clear.

He had no qualms about it—after all, it was just baby pee.

Compared to his past life, where he had even delivered babies on the battlefield, this was nothing.

Taking Naruto from Minato's arms, he strode to the sofa. The squirming baby continued his energetic protest as Masashi laid him on the cushioned sofa, keeping one hand firmly but gently on Naruto's chest to prevent rolling. Then, he grabbed a fresh diaper and wipes from the nearby pile of supplies.

He made quick work of the soiled diaper, lifting Naruto's legs with one hand while sliding the wet garment away with the other. Naruto giggled at the cool sensation of the wipes, his tiny legs kicking with renewed vigor.

Masashi dodged another potential spray with the skills of a veteran, smoothly sliding the fresh diaper under before securing it with two quick fasteners.

His movements were economical, no energy wasted.

Grab, wipe, lift, secure—each motion flowing into the next like a well-rehearsed kata.

The entire process took less than a minute.

After depositing the soiled diaper in the disposal bin and thoroughly washing his hands, he returned to find both Minato and Fugaku staring at him.

"I knew Masashi would make a great husband," Mikoto said proudly, casting a glance at her husband.

"Hokage-sama, how long has it been? You still seem like a complete novice," Masashi remarked, puzzled by Minato's fumbling.

"Uh… well, you see, I've been so busy lately…" Minato scratched his head awkwardly. "How are you so skilled at this?"

"It's just common sense," Masashi replied. "Honestly, you should practice more. Even if we say men work outside the home, Kushina-neesan isn't exactly a full-time housewife. You should take on more responsibilities."

"Dinner's ready!" Kushina's cheerful voice called from the kitchen.

Hearing his wife's call, Minato snapped out of the frustration from his parenting struggles. After handing Naruto over to Mikoto, he hurried into the kitchen.

"Kushina has really settled into her role," Mikoto commented, watching the couple busy in the kitchen. Her eyes followed their comfortable movements around each other with appreciation.

"Definitely very domestic," Masashi nodded in agreement. "Though her skills are pretty trash."

Mikoto burst out laughing.

"That can be improved," she said, then turned to Fugaku with a gleam in her eye. "What do you think?"

"..."

He felt inexplicably attacked.

Having served as both clan head and head of the Police Force for a long time, he was well-versed in one skill: endurance.

Years of political maneuvering had taught him when silence was the best response.

"Masashi, how are you feeling about being back in the village?"

"Pretty good—eating, drinking, relaxing. No shifts as a jonin corps leader, so I've got plenty of freedom," Masashi said.

The current state of Konoha suited him perfectly.

Originally, this was how Konoha was supposed to be.

"Good, as long as no one stirs trouble," Fugaku nodded, his eyes briefly meeting Masashi's.

"Alright, let's not talk about work today," Mikoto said with a smile, playing with the two little ones. "Look how well they're getting along."

The two Uchiha men glanced over, their trained eyes automatically assessing the scene before them.

The two toddlers were having a blast, crawling around the sofa, tugging at each other's feet. Naruto's giggles filled the room while Sasuke made little grunting noises as they chased around.

They were clearly enjoying chasing one another.

At that moment, the kitchen curtain was pulled aside, and Minato and Kushina came out with dishes in hand. Steam rose from the plates.

Minato's cooking didn't need any explanation, and Kushina, having endured years of hardship after her village's destruction, wasn't the type to serve "devil's food."

Despite becoming Konoha's "first couple," their lifestyle hadn't changed much.

Apart from moving into a new house near the Hokage office—an obligatory change for convenience—they lived much like any other villagers.

Being Hokage meant sacrificing personal space; your life revolved around the job.

This was true not just for Konoha, but for all Kages.

Even Obito, in his act as Mizukage, had to meticulously fulfill his basic duties to maintain the facade. Pretending to be a Kage wasn't as easy as it looked; even if it wasn't 24/7, working long hours was standard.

The lives of the Five Kage—arguably the pinnacle of the ninja world—could be summed up simply: First to rise, last to rest, barely time to eat, and endless work.

This wasn't an exaggeration.

Take Tobirama's schedule as an example: Up before dawn to wash up, change, and tackle leftover paperwork from the previous afternoon.

Breakfast? Just whatever's on hand, nothing fancy.

Meticulous review of documents took hours, so by the time he was done, it was usually 9 a.m. Then came departmental briefings, requiring decisions on various projects.

By the time he finished, it'd be 11 a.m.

Lunch break? Dream on!

A specialized meeting with ANBU leaders would take up that time.

By the time everything wrapped up, it'd be 12:30 p.m., leaving him just half an hour for a quick meal and a power nap before afternoon work.

Afternoons were for field inspections—checking administrative departments, Ninja Academy progress, and ANBU mission statuses. The day's routine wouldn't end until at least 10 p.m.

And even then, there were experiments to conduct, meaning he'd often get home around 1 a.m., entirely missing optimal sleeping hours.

By this time, his brother, Hashirama, was already snoring peacefully with his wife.

Thus, the role of Kage was nothing short of a beast of burden.

As dish after dish was brought to the table, Minato warmly invited everyone to dig in.

Kushina and Mikoto, more interested in their children than the food, focused on the little ones, their maternal instincts outweighing any political considerations.

Dinner was pleasant enough, the conversation flowing naturally between domestic matters and carefully veiled observations.

After the meal, the men and women split up to enjoy their hobbies.

The two "children of destiny" continued to entertain their mothers, while the three now superfluous men cleaned up before being shooed out for a walk.

Stepping outside the Hokage residence, the three strolled through the bustling streets of Konoha's most vibrant district, bathed in cheerful light and lively activity.

The sight filled Minato with genuine joy—until Masashi curiously asked, "Hokage-sama, why haven't you been working overtime these past few days?"

Minato's face froze for a moment before forcing a smile. "No big deal. I had several days of leave saved up, so I'm taking them all at once."

Impressive. Only the Hokage could approve his own vacation.

Masashi reconsidered his earlier judgment—perhaps being Kage did come with some perks, like writing your own time-off requests.

Fugaku glanced between Minato and Masashi but chose to stay silent. After all, he wasn't the one in an awkward position. Besides, he'd had his fair share of such moments—why not let someone else take the hit for a change?

The three men walked in silence for a while before Minato finally broke it.

"Masashi, I've got a question."

"Ask away, Hokage-sama."

"Ah, don't be so formal. Just call me by my name," Minato said, feeling uncomfortable with "Hokage-sama" during his off-hours. It made him feel like he was still working. "What do you know about Muzo?"

"That's a tough one," Masashi sighed. "I guess I know a little."

Asking me what I know about myself? That's a big question. After all, they say the hardest person to understand is yourself.

"Our clan's records on Muzo aren't very comprehensive," Fugaku chimed in.

He wasn't surprised Masashi knew of Muzo—Masashi was a regular in the clan library, where plenty of blackmail material on Muzo was stored.

"I see..." Minato pondered, his steps slowing slightly. "My knowledge isn't complete either. The Third Hokage's generation would know best."

By that time, Muzo was already the principal of the Academy.

The only people who truly knew him were a select few.

"Still, he was a key figure in the village's founding. It's no wonder his legacy attracts attention," Minato said to Masashi. "Although some people might seem overzealous, not all of them have bad intentions. You have to understand, he had many admirers back then."

Admirers? When did that happen? Did they all enjoy suffering that much?

Masashi was shocked.

"Just a heads-up," Minato said, clearly pleased with Masashi's stunned expression, believing his message had sunk in. "Elder Shijime has extended you an invitation."

"Eh?"

"She invited you to visit the Hyūga clan."

What? Shijime is still alive?! Since he hadn't heard of her during his second life, he assumed she had long passed.

She wouldn't slap him, would she? Oh wait, he was Masashi now. That should be fine.

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6/150 reached for bonus chapter.

[email protected]/Malphegor

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