I Became a New Magical Girl Priest

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I’ve never seen anyone among those who come to bully me that’s really good at fighting.

For starters, there hasn’t been anyone who brought a man to try and set me up yet. I don’t know if it’s good luck or if they just don’t feel the need to go that far.

Ha-yoon is oblivious to all this, and since there’s no reason for her to help me at the company, at least it’s not because someone is backing me up from behind.

No matter what job I have, which is to ‘fight,’ it becomes a big problem if the difference in power is too great. So from that perspective, I guess I can count myself fortunate.

Next, those who come to threaten me are usually just kids who don’t know how to fight at all.

Whether through exercise or martial arts… I don’t know if they feel it doesn’t help them much in life, but still, none of the experts among those trying to bully me have shown up yet. I can also consider this fortunate. No matter how much I might fight with magical girls, it’s not like I’m only using my physical abilities.

When you look at everything else, in the end, it just comes down to those who want to make me kneel with numbers and intimidation.

They throw the first punch, and while the ones getting hit are caught off guard, they get to the beating.

In the end, they’re a type that relishes making someone kneel on the ground.

“Ugh…!”

But there’s no way I’d get hit by the fists of those kinds of guys.

Even if I look like this, I used to be able to dodge lasers. No matter how much I’ve received assistance from the suit, my body remembers how to move.

Did they try to slap me in the face or something? When a hand swung toward my face, I slightly pulled back and dodged it.

A foot flew my way, but it wasn’t very fast either. I shifted slightly to the side, and they stumbled as they put their foot down on the ground.

I could easily knock them down with just a little push, but I didn’t go that far.

“I just hope you don’t hit my face.”

Because if I get hit in the face, Ha-yoon will definitely worry about me tomorrow.

Well, it’s not like I’m planning to take any hits on my body or my face.

I’m not thinking about hitting back either.

I lifted my gaze slightly.

There was a camera mounted on the streetlight. Next to it, in red letters, it clearly said ‘Surveillance Camera.’

The alley we were in was a bit away from where the ‘rich people live.’

It wasn’t quite in a real shantytown yet, but there were some paths that were somewhat spooky to walk alone at night. Even if it isn’t where rich people live, it’s still an area where those who can make a scene live, so they pay attention.

Plus, since it was a road leading up to the shantytown, it was naturally steep.

As I deftly dodged and bought myself some time, the speed of those swinging fists and feet at me noticeably slowed down.

I kept backing up, and they started to look like they were climbing the slope while flailing fists and feet.

It takes a considerable amount of energy just to hit someone, and doing it while going uphill is bound to tire them out.

“Hey, you… over there.”

“I’m right here. Keep coming.”

I provoked the kids, who were turning red in the face despite it being the middle of winter and gasping for breath.

The slope became steeper and steeper as you went up. By the time you reach the end, it would not be out of place compared to the entrance of a proper hiking trail. Still, it’s curious that deliveries and mail keep coming here.

It was a bit amusing to see three girls dripping sweat from their faces in the dead of winter.

Could it be that their pride prevented them from turning back midway?

“See, I told you it was easy!”

When I teased them, the lead girl’s face turned even redder.

Is that the expression used when sparks fly from someone’s eyes?

“I swear I’m gonna kill you.”

Her voice, which had been yelling, dipped low. Her breath hitching, she spoke as if chewing her words.

I glanced at my position and where those girls were standing to gauge the distance.

They were slowly walking up toward me. Their tempers must be flaring, thinking they’d definitely take me down today.

The alley was quite narrow. If three of them squeezed in together, I thought it would be better to jump away from here soon.

With that in mind, I got into position.

“Wait—!”

Just as I was about to bolt, I suddenly heard someone shouting.

Both I and the three girls trying to annoy me turned our heads at the same time.

There was a hero there.

… Of course, I’m joking.

It was just some strange person with their face covered by a mask. And the mask wasn’t even proper; they wrapped a scarf around so much that their face was only partially covered.

To phrase it nicely, they looked like a fundamentalist terrorist, and to put it bluntly, they looked like a homeless person draped in rags.

At least it was fortunate that it was winter, so no skin tone was visible.

If they had blue skin, it would have been a serious issue for numerous reasons.

“What’s that now?”

One of the girls muttered this.

And my attention completely shifted away from the girls to the guy on the neighbor’s wall.

“Hey, wait a sec!”

Seeing the guy who was about to jump down, I shouted out.

“Huh?”

At my sudden call, the guy who was about to jump turned his head toward me, and his posture was thrown off.

His body tilted strangely in a direction.

“Oh.”

This is a problem.

I closed my eyes.

“Eek!?”

I heard the girls scream and then a loud thud as something collided.

When I opened my eyes, three figures were on top of each other… not quite unknown, but anyways, someone dressed in a hero’s cosplay had crashed down.

Ah, this is a mess.

I quickly thought through two choices.

First, leave them behind and escape.

Second, still take them with me while fleeing.

Honestly, in my heart, the first choice was very tempting.

I could get dragged into trouble helping that kid, and, most importantly, it messed up the plan I had made.

I didn’t intend to lay a hand on those kids. If I hit them or subdued them because I was trying to resist, it would put me in a very disadvantageous position.

So I thought of just racing down this slope to make those following me trip.

… But, could this be counted as ‘assault’?

Since Earth was still a partially protected undeveloped planet, it’s complicated for various reasons. If an alien from the Eun-ha Federation were involved, they’d probably get some sort of extraterritorial recognition, but for this tourist who is practically on the verge of being illegally staying here, it could lead to various problems.

In which case, if I left without helping and ended up captured by the police, it’d mean I’d get deported without exception.

“… Ah, I don’t know.”

I quickly ran over, grabbed the wrist of the person who was just getting up, and started running.

“W-wait?”

Seeing me drag him by the wrist, the guy seemed bewildered about the situation.

I ran with all my strength.

Although I still couldn’t wrap my head around the circumstances, the Earth Buddy seemed to be running diligently after me.

I could hear someone shouting from behind, but I just ignored it.

*

After running for a long time, we arrived at a small neighborhood park.

It wasn’t a very big area. There was a stream flowing from the mountain, a pavilion by its side, and a short walking trail.

I looked back at the road.

No one was chasing us.

“Phew.”

Taking a deep breath, I sat down on the bench. Usually, this pavilion would be almost occupied by old folks in the neighborhood, but for some reason, no one was around yet since winter wasn’t over.

“What was that just now?”

“Nah, that’s what I want to ask!”

Finally having caught my breath, the Earth Buddy was unwrapping his scarf from around his face to ask, which made me frown.

“Where did you even jump out from?”

“Uh? Ah, I came out to buy dinner.”

In Earth Buddy’s hands, there really was a plastic bag. Looking back, I remember he was holding it while standing on the wall earlier.

“… Ah.”

And seeing what was in the bag, my energy drained totally. My hair, which had been standing tall, drooped in an instant.

I leaned forward to look inside.

There were instant noodles in the bag. They had all been crushed, though.

Now that I think about it, it had been a while since anything happened. I, in principle, received something like an allowance, and all my meals were taken care of by the orphanage and school, so it wasn’t an issue. But for him, being someone who had to pay rent and all sorts of utility bills, that must have been his main staple.

“… Just boil it in a pot and eat it.”

Looking at the Earth Buddy laughing heartily, I narrowed my eyes slightly.

“Why did you come out at that time?”

I still hadn’t heard the whole story.

“That’s because I heard sounds like someone was being bullied.”

“So you came to help?”

“Well… it was you who was the opponent?”

I brushed my hand across my face.

What the hell is an evil faction combatant doing here?

Then again, I guess I’m a bit of a strange person for trying to earn the operational costs of the orphanage like this.

I let out a big sigh.

“Follow me.”

“Huh? Where to?”

“Enough with the chatter.”

As I started to walk ahead, Earth Buddy obediently followed behind me.

I headed to the nearest convenience store.

*

Honestly speaking, I don’t think it’s really my fault, but still, they came out to help me.

And now, the bag of dinner has been crushed.

Thinking it was a bit pitiful, I bought him new instant noodles at the convenience store.

While I was at it, I bought a small can of coffee too.

“Hmm~”

As a result, we were back sitting in the pavilion.

Earth Buddy throwing a fit saying, “I don’t want to drink alone,” resulted in me buying one more can. The extra one that I bought was, of course, paid for with Earth Buddy’s money. It was an adamant stance he held that he would pay for at least this one can himself.

In his hand was a blue can, and in my hand was a warmed-up version of that blue can.

The crushed instant noodles became a side dish.

Honestly, I didn’t eat any of it. I didn’t have any aversion to eating crushed noodles, but I just didn’t want to mix that spicy salty powder into my coffee.

Meanwhile, Earth Buddy was eating as if he were indulging in some snacks with liquor. I think his face had turned a bit red too.

Suddenly, the sign reading ‘No Drinking Alcohol’ attached to the pavilion caught my eye.

“Now this, this! This is the taste of life.”

“Isn’t it a little inappropriate for someone your age to say that?”

I asked, thinking that it was 100% something he must have picked up from a Korean drama.

“Because it’s my age, I can say this. In our country, we can’t do this kind of thing.”

Well, that’s illegal after all.

I took a sip of my coffee. The sweet taste unique to canned coffee didn’t really seem like a flavor that would go well with the noodles.

“…”

I watched Earth Buddy, who had an extremely happy expression as he stuffed noodles into his mouth, and thought to myself.

“Do you like living here?”

“Hmm? Of course. Otherwise, why would I live here?”

“What’s so great about it?”

When I asked, Earth Buddy blinked at me in surprise.

“Well… it’s a different country, right?”

Not that I don’t understand at all.

Now that I think about it, I know almost nothing about the planet Earth Buddy comes from. He’s mentioned it sometimes, but I never bothered to ask out of curiosity.

I’ve never desired to go to another planet.

Seeing Earth Buddy able to roam around without any life support system also seems like it means there’s likely no major health issues for him here, but on the other hand, there’s no guarantee that I’d be okay if I went to his planet. There might be something that’s lethal for me, even if it’s just a trace amount of toxin.

But even putting all that aside, there might be quite a difference culturally, right?

Seeing me not quite grasping it, Earth Buddy seemed a bit shy as he scratched his cheek.

“Just that, here you can get caffeine anywhere, and I can watch my favorite dramas or movies anytime. And it’s great to be able to watch the latest ones, right?”

That’s true.

That is true, but…

Seeing him like this, it feels like he doesn’t want to talk about it.

Having thought that far, I decided to stop questioning him.

Crunch, crunch.

The sound of him chewing on the noodles made it painfully obvious.

Watching him like that made those crushed noodles seem appetizing for some reason.

I absentmindedly picked one up and tried to eat it.

And then I took a sip from the coffee can.

I regretted eating it the moment I swallowed.

*

The next day.

As usual, I took the bus to school with Ha-yoon.

Without much thought, I settled down into a seat.

Ignoring how the other kids chat happily together, I took out the textbook from my desk and was about to set it out when—

Thud.

The classroom door swung open with a loud noise. It sounded more like ‘bang’ than ‘thud.’

I flinched and turned to where the loud noise had come from, and there stood an adult whose face was red as a tomato.

A large woman.

“Mother!”

And then I heard the homeroom teacher shouting from behind.

Upon closer inspection, the woman had a necklace around her neck. The design was quite luxurious, but her face suggested a look that was far from elegant, creating a major imbalance.

Her attire was similar. Even without knowing much about design, one could immediately tell it was an expensive brand, glaringly displayed through an oversized dress with its logo. Over it, there was definitely some fur that clearly came from a wild animal.

The handbag she held must’ve also been a ridiculously expensive item.

Her eyes scanned the classroom, and upon locking onto mine, she approached me without a hint of hesitation.

The other students in between us subtly shifted out of the way. They likely figured there was nothing good to gain from being involved with her.

Someone was filming with their smartphone.

Could that become useful evidence someday?

I stood up from my seat. Ha-yoon in front of me also stood up when she saw me get up.

The woman’s face was turning crimson as she approached. Her eyes widened to an almost ridiculous degree, making me slightly fear she might explode at any moment.

Her daughter didn’t resemble her at all. I didn’t know which of the three girls I had seen yesterday was her daughter, but anyway, none of them looked like her.

When she came close enough, I figured she would immediately start shouting, but to my surprise, the woman raised her hand first.

I seriously pondered over whether I should evade her hand or just take the hit while staring at the smartphone pointed at me.

I guess it was better to dodge.

Videos can just be uploaded for any reason at all.

If it gets titled something like ‘Bullying Education,’ I could be at a disadvantage. Seeing how the kids behind the camera were giggling, I didn’t feel like giving them what they wanted either.

So, as I fixed my gaze on that thick hand approaching me,

Thud.

That hand never made it to me, coming to a stop halfway.

“…”

Ha-yoon was looking at that woman as if asking what she was doing right now.

The hand swinging towards me stopped midway. Ha-yoon was lightly blocking that hand with one of hers.

For the record, she didn’t ‘grab’ it. Like the clever girl she is, she seemed to understand that if the woman got hurt, it could create serious trouble for her.

“Excuse me, ma’am.”

The tone in Ha-yoon’s voice was extremely polite and calm.

“May I ask what the reason for your outburst is?”

Seeing her calm face seemed to jog the woman’s mind a little, causing her eyes to flicker for a moment.

“This child—”

Clearly pointing at me.

Ha-yoon was staring straight at the finger that the woman had pointed at me.

Not once blinking.

Um, this is a bit scary for me too.

The tip of her finger was trembling slightly.

It’s not that I was scared because Ha-yoon was getting angry. The woman before me wasn’t exactly that intimidating either.

But in this situation.

This was a situation where Ha-yoon might find out about what I had done yesterday.

“This child.”

As Ha-yoon’s expression turned stern, the woman perhaps feeling something, her voice took on a slightly clearer quality.

“Yesterday, my daughter was injured by this child.”

“…”

Ha-yoon looked at me.

Her expression suggested she didn’t believe what the woman was saying at all.

‘No way, right?’

I nearly let out a grunt.

What should I say here?

If I say I did it, then that’ll mean it’s actually something I did. Although there are surveillance cameras, the problem is that I’m not the only one filmed there.

If the police start looking for the ‘assailant’ due to a formal complaint, that’s where things will get complicated.

Seeing me remain silent, the woman seemed to grow emboldened.

“Because of that incident yesterday, my daughter’s rib was broken! Did you know!?”

No, I didn’t know.

Honestly, I thought it served her right.

If they went to a clinic, they probably would have healed up in a day, but for some reason, they must have stayed in the hospital.

They probably received treatment too.

“Ji-eun?”

Ha-yoon called my name with a slightly bewildered tone.

“…”

I pondered for a moment and then took a deep breath.

“So what?”

And that’s what I managed to spit out.

 

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