LIGHTNOVELWORLD Chapter 40
“……”
What should I do?
Ha-yoon thought with a blank expression.
In the end, she couldn’t do anything.
Not talking to Ji-eun, not even finishing her tasks properly.
The mission had failed in the worst possible way.
The plan to gain the upper hand while severing ties with Noir Corporation went utterly south.
While the antenna was collapsing, people were diligently sent out. Thankfully, the building did not fall apart, but that doesn’t mean it was still usable.
The building could only be used after a safety inspection for a while. Most likely, repairs would be required. Although it was built quite sturdily, it probably wouldn’t need to be reconstructed or demolished.
“Ha-yoon…”
Even in such a situation, Cherry worried for Ha-yoon.
In the Eun-ha Federation, they did not blame the Magical Girls.
Even if Noir Corporation officially condemned them through channels, and the unilaterally released CCTV footage played on the news, it seemed they still had no intention of giving up their relationship with the Magical Girls.
Of course, that didn’t mean they were thinking of mobilizing the Magical Girls to do anything right away.
Last time, they had thwarted a terrorist, but this time, it had turned into a complete mess. Naturally, public perception of the Magical Girls had also soured a bit.
“There’s no need to worry too much! I’m sure things will get better.”
But Cherry seemed unable to find any more logical ways to comfort her. She merely repeated hollow reassurances.
And it was obvious that those words didn’t comfort Ha-yoon at all.
Ha-yoon just slumped over the desk, staring blankly into space.
All she could think about was Ji-eun.
I caught someone. I didn’t want to become a murderer.
But the moment her eyes met Ji-eun’s, everything fell apart.
There were other Magical Girls there too. But at that time, Ha-yoon had probably judged that it wouldn’t be a big problem.
Being able to fly and much faster than an ordinary person.
Naturally, if she caught someone, she should be able to safely let them down.
The reason she fell at that time—
Ji-eun’s eyes were terrifying.
After all, Ji-eun was the person who had ruthlessly beaten up those battling alongside her.
At that moment, what had Ji-eun thought?
Did she think Ha-yoon had deliberately let go of the person?
It’s unclear. Ji-eun’s expression had simply been one of shock.
She jumped from that height. And she saved Ha-yoon.
While she herself was falling.
Ha-yoon still remembered Ji-eun’s scream.
…It’s the worst. Truly.
No matter how Ha-yoon moved, it only led to Ji-eun’s pain.
Where did it all go wrong?
While Ha-yoon was blaming herself with a feeling as if she could dig into the ground, Cherry was fidgeting beside her.
Bee-doo—
The smartphone on the desk vibrated, causing Ha-yoon to flinch. She had been lying with her ear on the desk, which made the sound feel too loud.
The vibration continued. As she looked, it was a call.
“Rose?”
Cherry mumbled.
The smartphone also had [Seo-hee Unnie] displayed.
Ha-yoon immediately answered the phone.
“Yes.”
[Ha-yoon.]
The voice on the other end sounded somewhat serious.
[Did you see the news?]
“…The news?”
[I see, you haven’t watched it yet.]
The voice hesitated slightly.
It sounded like she was debating whether or not to say this. There were pauses in between her words.
But eventually, it seemed Rose had decided to tell her.
[On the news, that girl… a friend of yours appeared.]
“Ji-eun?”
[Yeah.]
Rose paused for a moment before continuing.
[This time, they seem to be trying to portray her as a terrorist. The company is being very proactive about it.]
“Excuse me?”
[It’s true that she stole key equipment. Moreover, that Squeaky Adult on her shoulder. Apparently, he used to work for Noir Corporation. They say he knows that equipment very well.]
“…”
Ha-yoon understood that Rose noticed she was about to hang up and search for related information, so she continued.
[I know that the incident wasn’t caused by her. I saw it myself. But at least, what happened a few days ago is the truth, right? In essence, a functional generator is now in the hands of an individual.]
…We went there to get the generator, didn’t we?
It was an event born from the Federation and the company trying to pass the buck to one another. It’s unclear how much Ji-eun or that Squeaky Adult was targeting during that process, but at least it was clear that the reason the Eun-ha Federation was moving the Magical Girls wasn’t purely out of good intentions.
[…Sigh. I honestly don’t know what to do either, in this situation…].
It might be possible to reveal all the facts to the world.
But even so, the Eun-ha Federation and the company would deny it. They might have already prepared convincing evidence.
Too much time had been wasted with inaction.
If there had been time to fret, it would have been better to just keep moving then.
Of course, that would make her parents angry. People around Ha-yoon would treat her like something weird, and in the worst case, this kind of news might spread about her in the media.
“…”
Just like how Ji-eun was treated now.
Right after she thought of that last thought, Ha-yoon felt a sensation of all the blood draining from her body again.
She trembled.
Rose shouldn’t have to see her like this. That’s why the voice from the other end of the phone remained calm.
[If anyone asks for your opinion, I think it’d be good to just not respond. We can discuss what actions to take gradually. It’s important that no innocent people are affected… but we can’t just go against them by ourselves. Others in other countries can replace us.]
In the plan set by the Eun-ha Federation, the most crucial figures were those who could turn the energy through hope.
[…Let’s look for ways gradually.]
“…Okay.”
In the end, their conversation ended without any tangible results.
Ways.
What kind of way should they look for? How can Ji-eun’s situation be resolved positively, and how can this terrible situation come to an end?
I have no idea.
Even thinking that she shouldn’t just leave it be, it ultimately ended up with her being unable to propose any solutions.
Furthermore.
Ha-yoon’s ‘hope’ had already diminished to an extreme extent.
After all, she had fallen mid-flight last time.
The more she thought she was distanced from Ji-eun, the more that light of hope seemed to slip away from her.
Just with Ji-eun’s disappearance, Ha-yoon’s life had changed so much.
“Ji-eun.”
Ha-yoon slumped back onto her desk again.
And she thought of Ji-eun.
As time passed, and the more she dawdled, her guilt towards Ji-eun grew larger. Yet, she had no idea what to do.
Once again, she lost so many opportunities because of her own mistakes. She hadn’t been able to have even a proper conversation.
Ji-eun had even avoided her without a word.
Ha-yoon considered the reason she had fallen at that critical moment.
At that moment, the bouquet gave off no magical energy at all.
That bouquet was an object filled with memories of Ji-eun.
Ji-eun must have given it to her without thinking much about it. She knew that.
It wasn’t a gift for a birthday, or for any special day.
It was simply that Ji-eun had given it to Ha-yoon as she was quietly staring down at the flowers. Ji-eun probably thought it would wither away after being in a vase for just a few days.
“…”
Ha-yoon closed her eyes.
Cherry placed her hand on Ha-yoon’s arm.
But in the end, she was unable to say any comforting words.
*
“Hey.”
“Now you’re even shortening my title to a single character. What exactly do you expect me to respond with?”
“Why? Can’t you just know that I called you?”
“…If I have a name, please call me by that name.”
“Your name is Squeaky, not James.”
“To your ears, it might sound like that, but we have our own pronunciation and intonation!”
Funny how the name of the planet is still ‘Squeaky’ though.
Not wanting to drag this debate further, I decided to change the subject.
“So, what do you plan to do with that?”
James glared at me but, perhaps wanting to avoid this verbal quarrel, he finally answered my question.
“Well, there’s no specific way to utilize it at the moment. If we tried to use it to substitute electricity here, it would cause a total blackout. Not to mention all the equipment connected to the power would break down.”
So was that why he initially planned to destroy it? But seeing it in person made him want to keep it.
“Then will you just keep it until you can use it?”
“There’s that option, but…”
James looked at me and raised an eyebrow.
He looked incredibly gloomy. For a moment, his face resembled that of a rat instead of a hamster.
“How about using it in a different way?”
“In what way?”
“As a weapon. Magical Girls sometimes use weapons they’ve personally developed.”
If it was about Iris, that might hold true.
I thought it had some validity.
“But what if someone snatches it away?”
“A Magical Girl’s weapon can be hidden in a way that others cannot see it, no matter how it’s done. It’s hard to tell what the origin is, but seeing that ‘developed weapons’ can also be hidden in other spaces shows that if you hide it, you should be able to ensure it won’t be taken.”
No matter how hopeful his eyes were, I had no words.
A Magical Girl’s weapon is basically something that was cherished but turned into something else. More precisely, it’s an object that can bring ‘hope’ whenever you see it.
Just looking at it makes you feel good and helps ensure you don’t lose your dream.
Once it turns into a ‘wand,’ it disappears before your eyes. It doesn’t completely vanish; rather, it transformed into something that radiates light like a Magical Girl’s inner flame.
So after transformation, it ends up in your hand. Even if you initially miss what’s gone, ultimately it’s romanticized as long as you don’t lose hope.
I’m not quite sure how Iris’ weapons can be hidden.
In fact, the principle itself might not be greatly different. The only thing that probably varies is how much energy can be extracted from the weapon.
For reference, the bouquet that Ha-yoon has was given to her by her parents.
It was a bouquet given long before they began to see Ha-yoon as a political tool. Probably something received after winning a writing contest.
Some might question how such a bouquet could last so long, but if plants are dried properly, they can be preserved for as long as you want. As far as I know, it was hung upside down on a wall for years, so the flowers barely suffered damage.
It’s likely that its original state was much better than it is now. Thanks to magic, that moment of receiving it is preserved, which is why the bouquet held by ‘Blossom’ is always full of life.
“I still don’t know that method.”
“…We’ll find out gradually.”
James looked at me as if I were hopeless when he said that.
“Well, anyway, I’ll try making the weapon. After all, no matter what I do, there’s nowhere to hide it except in this room, so in any form, it doesn’t really matter. Do you have any preferred form?”
I briefly pondered the weapons I had dealt with.
“…I can handle a hammer.”
As I recalled the work I did with Earth Buddy, James sighed and shrugged.
“That’s quite fitting for you.”
I wanted to smack him, but at the moment, I was lying on the floor.
In this semi-basement room, there was now an electric mat as well. Since I was also making money now.
I didn’t mind sleeping next to a boy, but it still felt a bit off to bother the Earth Buddy, who was practically the original tenant of this room.
“Maybe it’s best not to move too much? Just yesterday you were all bandaged up.”
Noticing I tried to grab James, Earth Buddy said that.
“…Sorry.”
“No, it doesn’t feel right to apologize, really.”
Earth Buddy mumbled while looking at me lying on the floor.
I hadn’t been able to go out for days. My body really hurt. But it wasn’t like I could go to a hospital or clinic.
I heard that Magical Girls heal their bodies with the mana they hold, so I expected that while resting… but while I was definitely recovering faster than others, the aches here and there were unavoidable.
In the end, I had just been living off of others.
“It seems like you should be the one apologizing.”
Earth Buddy said that as he helped me out, saying that he helped me every time he was having a tough time, but in reality, I hadn’t really helped him much.
I just had some coffee with him and took him home a few times when he was drunk.
It didn’t seem like I should be helping him to the extent of risking being exiled.
I had already been suspected of being a terrorist, but now I had become a real terrorist with nowhere to escape.
Just a while ago, there were all kinds of opinions about me. Being a minor and relatively pretty, there were many who thought, “It’s not her fault.”
But there were also plenty who raised their voices in support or opposition, trying to tear me down.
However, public opinion had flipped due to this recent incident.
The first incident still hadn’t been definitively blamed on me, but this incident was clearly involving me.
How ironic that it was in the middle of Gangnam that the building existed, and that massive antenna collapsing inside it was enough for people to feel threatened.
‘Environmentally Friendly Antenna for Next-Generation Communication Technology.’
That’s how the company described the recent damage.
Not a single word about it being targeted at the Magical Girls, only insisting that it had been destroyed while researching to reduce the public’s communication burden.
Thus, the threats I received now were incomparably worse than before. Yet, Earth Buddy was hiding me here.
Why?
Earth Buddy didn’t respond to my question.
“…By the way.”
No matter how much I looked, he showed no signs of wanting to answer, so I shifted targets back to James.
“Didn’t you mention something about ‘shame’? Is the energy I need to transform related to that? I thought I heard it was ‘courage.’”
“…!”
James’s ears perked up.
His mouth slightly agape, his small pale hands went rigid in front of his chest.
He had a face like a mouse frozen in front of a cat.
“What’s going on?”
“T-That’s…”
James momentarily looked around before finally speaking.
“Do you not know what courage is?”
“Do you think I’m asking because I don’t know what courage is?”
“Ha ha ha.”
James laughed as if showing off.
“…Courage is something that only emerges when you endure some sort of disadvantage.”
“…Is that so?”
“There’s an old saying. If you can endure fear for three minutes, that’s courage. Yes, enduring embarrassment is also a form of courage, and so is enduring the fear of death. You truly showed courage that day. Isn’t that right? You jumped from that height to save a friend who became your enemy—how courageous is that!”
You’re really good at twisting words.
But there is some truth in what James said. If you delve into the setup, the narrative doesn’t differ completely; despair and courage are indeed interconnected in a way.
In this world, the energy of despair is born precisely when one is ‘despairing.’ Interestingly, it doesn’t emerge when one gives up.
People are creatures that might actually feel relief when they let everything go and give up. Those rushing toward their dreams tend to feel stress about their talents; the very people who abandon their dreams might actually find satisfaction in their lives, living comfortably and happily.
Thus, the company can cleverly twist it into ‘the power of courage.’
“Well, fine.”
I took a long breath.
This time, I’ll let it slide.
After all, there’s nothing I could do even if I didn’t let it slide.
James seemed to want to end the conversation quickly and turned away, rushing toward the Robot side, where parts were still piled up, beginning to tinker with something.
Maybe he’s creating that hammer I mentioned.
Well, I don’t really care.
If a weapon for the Magical Girls symbolizes their dreams and ‘hope,’ for someone like me who uses energy of despair, such things are unnecessary.
I just needed to be able to hold it and swing it. Doesn’t it fit even better to be an ‘insignificant object’?
“……”
The room fell silent again.
Earth Buddy isn’t as chatty as I thought. It seems he was just piling up a lot of stories after being away for a long time whenever he met me.
And now James was also immersed in something else.
…Oh.
This, again, makes me think of Ha-yoon.
And Ji-hye.
I wonder if Ha-yoon has healed from her injuries. Is she resting comfortably now? I can’t reach out, and it’s frustrating.
As for Ji-hye… I’m just praying she’s doing well.
Is there any way to send a letter or something?
But right now, no matter how I think about it, it would just be a quick route to capture. Eventually, I realized I had no way to contact my close acquaintances and quietly closed my eyes.
Moreover, as for Ji-hye, even though I could send a letter, I wouldn’t know how to write it to Ha-yoon. I’ve only written a letter once in my life. Text would be a different story.
Even in this situation, thinking of Ha-yoon makes my heart uneasy in a corner. Jealousy still lingers. Even though I witnessed Ha-yoon falling to the ground, I don’t feel any sense of victory.
A mix of various emotions clung together, and I couldn’t even tell whether it was positive or negative.
If I were to discuss ‘hope’ right now while chained to this despair, I’d probably be spinning in circles at a very fast speed.
…Really, it’s all quite unsatisfactory.
What’s most unsatisfactory is that, in the end, I’m the one who has chosen to do this unsatisfactory thing.