I Became the Childhood Friend Who Commits Suicide

Chapter 69

He clenched and unclenched his hand, deep in thought.

About the power now within him.

After yesterday’s commotion at the shrine, everyone, including our class, immediately returned to the academy. No one knew when the apostles might attack again, so it was safest to stay in a secure place.

And now, I was having a one-on-one meeting with the principal.

The principal’s office, which I entered for the first time, was simpler than expected. It felt more like a regular office than a principal’s room.

The principal’s expression was complex, with mixed emotions, especially since this was our first encounter since that day when he had asked me to give something up.

“Student Si woo.”

“Yes.”

“I’ll ask you again to confirm… Do you really possess the Grail?”

As I expected, this was the question.

Even if I didn’t know exactly what the Grail was, I had guessed it wasn’t an ordinary object.

“Please answer accurately. The Grail is incredibly important to all of humanity.”

“I’m not sure if ‘possess’ is the right word, but… it’s inside me now.”

“Is there a way to prove that?”

A way to prove it…

The scene that came to mind was the moment I healed the priestess yesterday. It was clearly thanks to the Grail’s power. So, maybe I could use it again now.

After briefly closing my eyes, I replied.

“I’ll try.”

Of course, I’d need someone to receive the healing to use the Grail. I didn’t know if it would work, but it was worth a try.

Soon, someone knocked on the door.

“Come in,” said the principal.

At his words, Han Si-hyun entered the room. She gave a brief nod with a blank expression, then looked at me.

Yesterday, Si-hyun had also been fatally injured, much like the priestess, and was in critical condition. Now, her injuries had completely healed without leaving a trace.

However, her face still bore bandages.

Si-hyun lost her right eye not yesterday but six months ago. It wasn’t just injured; it was entirely gone. Despite seeking help from various healers, no one could restore it.

If I could heal that, it would be perfect proof.

Closing her eyes, Si-hyun waited patiently. I reached out cautiously, placing my hand over her bandaged eye.

The image of the Grail reappeared in my mind, and instantly, the room filled with radiant light as powerful energy surrounded us.

When the light faded…

Tears were streaming down Si-hyun’s face.

As she unwrapped the bandages, her flawless face was revealed, and transparent tears flowed from her newly restored eye, tracing down her cheek.

The principal, who had been watching this miraculous scene in silence, spoke.

“This… is the power of the Grail… remarkable.”

I lowered my head, trying to steady my excited breathing. The faint exhaustion from using the power soon faded.

Then suddenly, Si-hyun rushed to me, grasping my hand tightly and pleading desperately.

“Kim Si woo, please… use that power to heal my sister.”

Si-hyun’s expression was twisted with emotion, her tears flowing ceaselessly. I never thought I’d see her so shaken. Was it possible that, behind her mask of indifference, she had been carrying a deep burden of pain and sorrow all this time?

Since Yoo Hana’s death, much has changed.

Perhaps no one changed as much as Han Si-hyun. She had been breaking under the weight of guilt for half a year, her heart slowly shattering, just as mine once had.

A thought crossed my mind.

If I used this Grail, could I fix everything? Could I set right all that had gone wrong?

“Let’s go right now.”

At the end of this path, Yoo Hana…

I hope you’ll be there.

***

“Sophie…”

The name stirred a feeling of longing each time I spoke it.

I didn’t know why.

“Sophie…”

An unfamiliar emotion, one I had never felt before, stirred in my heart—a bittersweet nostalgia for memories I didn’t possess.

“…Sophie.”

A name I felt I mustn’t forget.

Someone who surely resided deep within my heart.

I couldn’t even tell how long I had been in my room since I returned to the shrine.

Ever since I heard that name, I had been holed up in this room, endlessly murmuring it, as if the repetition might bring back lost memories, as if it might summon the person who haunted my mind.

But no easy resolution came.

Despite hours of repeating it, I couldn’t recall who Sophie was.

I didn’t want to dismiss it as a mere illusion or lie.

Or maybe it was more accurate to say I didn’t want to believe it was.

“…Kim Si woo.”

That was the boy’s name.

He was the one who had called out my name, desperately asking if I remembered.

But even as I tried to remember his face, all it left was a strange feeling.

Unlike the vague nostalgia Sophie’s name stirred, with him, there was an odd sense of annoyance, discomfort… or resentment?

A mixture of complex feelings with a touch of negativity.

If I had to describe it in one word…

It would be ambivalence.

What kind of relationship did we have?

Could his words really be true?

“Yoo Hana.”

Is that my name?

The feeling was entirely different from the other two names. There was only a faint sense of detachment, almost indifference.

It was like wearing someone else’s clothes.

The idea of being the person that name belonged to felt foreign.

Am I really Yoo Hana?

If so, was I once an academy student?

It doesn’t make sense.

If that’s true, why am I now an enemy of the academy? Why am I standing with the demons, humanity’s sworn enemies?

Shark said I was already trying to join the demons before I lost my memory.

But why did I choose this? Why did the academy let me leave so easily?

Too many unanswered questions.

One thing was clear: nothing would be solved by staying locked in this room, murmuring names.

I want to know the truth.

I want to recover my forgotten memories.

And to do that…

Knock, knock.

“Are you in there?”

The voice from outside startled me.

It was the teacher. Of all times, he chose this moment.

After a brief hesitation, I replied.

“…Yes, teacher.”

“I’m coming in.”

In the dimly lit room, he entered, cloaked in black and hiding his face with a mask as always.

In the six months we’d been together, I had never once seen his real face beneath the mask.

And today, for some reason, his appearance felt strangely unfamiliar.

“Golden Lion told me that someone has the Grail.”

“Yes…”

“Have you identified who it is?”

Is this really what matters to you?

Does it not concern you in the slightest why I am like this?

Not even a simple “Are you okay?”

“…Kim Si woo.”

“A scam artist, I see. Did you speak with him?”

His eyes, visible through the mask, glowed red.

Was he actually worried about something?

Did he have a reason to prevent me from talking to that boy?

“What did he say?”

I hesitated, then lowered my gaze and answered.

“…Nothing.”

“He said nothing?”

“Yes. Just as you instructed, I fought to kill him. That’s all.”

“….”

The silence that settled over the room felt like a ruthless pit, swallowing me whole.

A dagger of unspoken words, stabbing me with every second of quiet.

The teacher despises lies.

If I deceive him, or worse, betray him…

I can’t even imagine what would happen next.

“Fine. I understand.”

Thankfully, he nodded, moving past the subject.

Did he fail to catch my lie? Or…

Was he pretending not to notice? I couldn’t be sure.

“White Sheep.”

White Sheep.

That is my name.

But it isn’t my true name.

It was only given to me a few days ago. Before that, I had lived without a name.

I didn’t know my true name.

Is Yoo Hana really my name?

Am I White Sheep? Or Yoo Hana?

“Do you remember the day we first met?”

My first meeting with the teacher…

Of course, I remember. Not only do I remember, but I also see that moment every time I close my eyes.

The memories of that moment still appear in my dreams.

An endless, empty space.

No blue sky, no warm sunlight, no cool breeze, no beautiful flowers, no singing birds, and no one to keep me company.

Only darkness.

And me.

The first memory I could trace, as far back as I could go, was like a nightmare.

Only darkness and I, endlessly waiting and waiting.

I didn’t even know what I was waiting for.

Nor how long I would have to wait.

Just an unending, uncertain longing.

Then, he appeared before me.

‘It’s been a while,’ he said, reaching out his hand from behind a goat mask.

At that moment, I thought I had finally been saved from my endless waiting.

Even now, that feeling remains unchanged.

That’s why I continue to follow him, staying by his side.

“There’s no need to dwell on the past. Right now, looking forward is already challenging enough.”

“Forget the dark past. What you should look toward is a bright future.”

“But the choice is entirely yours. So let me ask, what is your name?”

As he asked, his image overlapped with the man I first met in that abyss.

Suddenly, he no longer seemed so unfamiliar.

“I am… White Sheep, the 12th apostle.”

The teacher extended his hand.

Just as

he had done then.

“Follow me.”

“Yes, teacher.”

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