I Became the Childhood Friend Who Commits Sui**de

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The sound of a racing heartbeat echoed.

As I slowly opened my eyes, I couldn’t help but stare blankly at the scene unfolding before me.

Why am I back here?

A room overflowing with pure and sacred energy.

It emanated a cozy and warm atmosphere, but to me, it was nothing but a horrific place.

It was the familiar location that had haunted me as a nightmare for a full decade.

This was the shrine chamber where Hana had died.

“Teacher?”

A familiar voice tickled my ears.

The unforgettable voice of a girl echoed through.

“Where is this…?”

Hana looked bewildered.

Like me, she seemed completely clueless about why she was here.

But wait, what did she just call me?

Teacher?

Yu Hana never referred to me with that title.

To be precise, she had been wary of me ever since she lost her memories and got possessed.

“Hana? You are…”

So she’s the Yu Hana who was close to me in the first grade before her memory loss?

“Why are you here, Teacher? Just a moment ago…”

Just a moment ago, I was talking to Sophie on the edge between life and death.

I thought I had simply returned to reality.

“I was just speaking with another me until a moment ago.”

“Another you? Who are you talking about?”

“The Hana who entered my body. The one with knowledge of the future.”

As the pieces slowly fell into place in this chaotic situation, it was hard to believe, but there was no other plausible explanation.

“Where is that Hana now?”

“She probably went back to reality. I completely relinquished control of the body. She’ll lose all her memories, though…”

So that’s how it is.

When Hana first resurrected, I had wondered why she had lost her memories and became the White Lamb. It turns out the original Hana had deliberately sealed her memories.

“Still, I observed everything. How ‘that child’ moved and lived, met Sophie, and what happened with you, Teacher.”

“What’s the current situation in reality?”

“…Hana took her own life. But she’ll resurrect soon with her abilities.”

Has everything progressed to that point already?

Time in reality had continued to flow since my death.

It seems my assumptions about the puzzle were indeed correct.

The reason I could die and resurrect was because I mimicked Hana’s abilities.

Thanks to their overlap during Hana’s death, I must have met her here in this inner world.

This could be an opportunity.

I don’t know precisely why the previous “me” failed so far.

But if I change something here, things might turn out differently.

“How much do you know right now?”

The syringe Hana had given me.

Surely, it contained her memories.

However, even with that, I didn’t know the precise content of those memories.

“Um… I only know the content of the original that ‘that child’ read.”

“……”

That knowledge was distorted information. More accurately, it was a story from another parallel world.
I needed to know the history of the world I lived in, where Hana had become a goddess, not the original.

“By the way, it’s a little awkward for you to speak casually like this all of a sudden…”

“You don’t even know who I am.”

The thought of revealing everything to her made me wonder how it might play out.

Perhaps the entire story could completely twist.

But on the flip side, it could be the only true answer.

I recalled my past memories.

After living as the White Lamb, Hana had significantly changed her demeanor once she regained her memories.

At that time, she had information that should have been completely unknown to her.

Especially the suggestion to go on a picnic with me. That was something she said before even becoming a goddess and reading the Akashic Records.

Just a simple coincidence?

I had a strong intuition that it couldn’t be.

Did she utilize the knowledge of the original she acquired through the syringe?

If that were the case, she would’ve tried to use that information long before her death.

If I were to let her know here, everything would align perfectly.

Every action Hana showcased after retrieving the Holy Grail.

I took off my glasses, let my hair down, and looked directly at Hana.

I spoke to her, still oblivious.

“Hana. It’s me.”

“…Huh?”

Only then did she seem to realize as her expression slowly turned to shock.

Staring at me with wide eyes, she finally opened her mouth.

“…Shin Woo?”

“That’s right.”

“B-but how?”

The 18-year-old Shin Woo and my current self, ten years later, were quite different.

But being the same person, there surely had to be shared features if looked at closely.

“It might be hard to believe, but I’m from ten years into the future.”

“You were Shin Woo…?”

It seems this revelation hit her quite hard.

However, there was no time to waste leisurely waiting.

I had no idea how long we could talk in this space.

Before returning to reality, I needed to explain everything as clearly as possible.

*

I opened my eyes.

Is this really reality this time?

I briefly looked around to assess the situation.

First off, this wasn’t the top floor of the academy where I had died.

But it was a space shrouded in darkness to a similar degree.

From the feel of it, it seemed like stone all around.

And there was the smell of water triggering my sense of smell.

Soon, I realized where this place was.

A cave inside the gate where the crown was hidden.

Why did I have to resurrect here of all places?

Is it related to me regressing to the past?

No matter how much I pondered, it was a question that wouldn’t yield a specific answer.

Could it be that instead of a resurrection, I returned to the past…?

Thankfully, it didn’t seem like that. My clothing was identical to how I looked just before dying.

I pulled out my phone and turned on the light.

The thorned crown remained exactly where it had always been.

I stared at it for a moment.

When Hana became a goddess, she had to use the three relics, including the crown.

Yet it would be better to leave it here than take it now. The fact that no one had discovered this place meant that it was the safest place.

But one question arose.

According to the Black Goat, the crown would randomly teleport somewhere once it was used.

That can’t possibly be a lie.

Otherwise, the Black Goat would still be keeping the crown after using it.

But why did this place appear intact when I used it?

If what he said was true, the crown here should have also vanished somewhere else.

Moreover, Longinus was quietly asleep here, seemingly guarding the crown.

She had no memories before meeting me here.

Just a conceptual understanding of the Messiah’s existence and her own role.

And even though the Holy Grail must have been sent back in time, it remained with me.

Naturally, questions arose.

What happened to the Holy Grail that was originally supposed to be in Japan?

If it exists there, can two relics coexist simultaneously in one timeline?

“…I need to check.”

Hana must be with the Black Goat, having lost her memories.

She would have been diligently training inside the gate, hardly stepping outside for six months.

This means the chances of any variables occurring during those six months are low.

The Black Goat would also do his utmost to protect Hana for his plans.

In the meantime, I have to prepare for the future.

Especially since the scale of the war between the apostles and humanity is massive; any variables could arise.

Can I control all variables on my own?

Of course, I wouldn’t be alone. Sophie, as a system, said she would act to eliminate distortions.

The undeniable truth is that I need to prepare as much as possible from now.

First, let’s head to Japan.

The place where I first meet Hana, now turned into the White Lamb.

Also, the first region where the apostle reclaimed the Holy Grail and commenced the war.

Once I made my decision, I exited the cave.

The aftermath of the battle lingered vividly in the gate’s interior.

Would it remain unattended like this for ten years?

I hadn’t expected that no one would be here at all.

I thought at least a minimal investigation team would still be around.

Considering it was only a few weeks ago that the Black Goat appeared.

“…Wait a second.”

Was it really just a few weeks ago?

A sense of unease itched at my mind as I quickly checked the date on my phone.

October.

The warm spring had already passed, and winter was approaching.

It had already been six months since the date of my last memory.

In the end, it was just an incomplete ability that was nothing more than a fake.

Unlike the Messiah, who took three days to resurrect, it took me a whopping six months to come back to life.

I gritted my teeth and immediately started running.

There’s no time to dawdle. I need to hurry to Japan as fast as I can.

I can only hope it’s not too late.