LIGHTNOVELWORLD Chapter 36
I killed a person.
Of course, people and demons are different.
But to the naked eye, they look the same.
Just moments ago, I had considered him a person.
I felt the warmth of the glass of milk he handed me.
I was receiving comfort from him.
I killed him.
I choked him to death.
Was it unavoidable?
Yeah. It must have been unavoidable.
He insulted Sophie.
What else?
“…”
I don’t know.
Still, that’s enough.
Is it really enough?
Stop.
What’s done is done.
It can’t be undone.
He is dead.
I killed him with my own hands.
“Did I do something wrong?”
The hollow question lingered in the air.
No answer came back.
The one nailed to the cross remained silent.
Surely, my prayers weren’t being heard.
Why did I come here?
For what purpose?
Did I just want comfort?
I believed the last memory was a miracle.
I wanted to believe that so badly.
The priest’s words of blaming the Lord if it got too hard.
Right now, I am really struggling.
So, can I just blame everything on you?
Even though nothing will change?
It’s overwhelming.
I feel like I’m trapped in a dark tunnel with no exit.
Everywhere is filled with darkness, and I don’t know where to step.
It’s been over an hour since I entered the church.
No one has come.
Nothing has happened.
Indeed, there was no salvation or miracle.
“…Let’s go.”
How foolish.
As I stood up, I inadvertently bumped into something.
Thud.
An object falls.
I picked it up.
A pure white cross pendant.
Did it fall from the chair?
How long has it been here?
I tried to ignore it and put it back on the chair.
Until I saw the inscription on the armrest.
-But those who endure to the end shall be saved.
“…”
Salvation? What a joke.
There’s no such thing as salvation.
That kind of thing…
It’s just a waste of time.
I rushed out of the church.
*
I intended to head straight to the dorms, but I turned to the convenience store instead.
There was no particular reason.
It wasn’t like I had a destination.
I didn’t feel the need to go to school.
I didn’t want to enter my dorm room either.
It wasn’t just about the place.
I had lost my purpose going forward.
Initially, I had planned to gain abilities and spend time with Sophie.
But Sophie is dead.
Now, what difference would it make if I gained abilities?
Could I really be happy?
“Thank you.”
“…”
I bought banana milk at the convenience store.
Honestly, I prefer plain milk.
Banana milk was Sophie’s favorite flavor.
I slumped down on a random bench on the street.
It surely wouldn’t be possible to sleep here.
Eventually, I had to return to my room when the sun set.
I should just spend my time here until then.
I took a sip of the banana milk.
It’s sweet and smooth.
I was lost in thought for a long time.
Remembering my moments with Sophie.
“Here you are, looking pitiful.”
“…”
“Hey, could you at least look at me instead of ignoring me?”
I turned my gaze.
It was a girl overflowing with personality, so distinctive she stood out.
Pink roll-bun hair, huh.
“You are…”
“Yep! It’s me!”
“Who was it again?”
“…Are you serious? We’re in the same class!”
“Sorry, I forgot your name.”
The girl with the roll-bun hair frowned and muttered softly.
“Did you really not know…?”
“Yeah. Sorry.”
“It’s Valentina! Valentina!”
Ah, that name does sound familiar.
She was quite an important heroine in the original work.
A typical princess type.
I mean, that’s just a nice way of saying it; in straightforward terms, she’s a liability.
She reacts coldly to everyone except the protagonist she has a crush on.
“What’s going on?”
I wish she would just disappear quickly.
Talking like this was exhausting.
I just want to keep being dazed.
“Why didn’t you attend class today?”
“Does it really matter?”
“Of course it does! You’re making Shin Woo worried!”
I nodded half-heartedly.
Should I be thankful? At least she was still the same as in the original story.
Interpreting everything through Kim Shin Woo’s perspective.
“Honestly, I don’t get it. Why does Shin Woo care so much about someone like you? You’re just childhood friends after all.”
“Right? I agree.”
“Ugh…! You should realize how significant that is!”
She is quite the loud character.
My eardrums are about to burst.
Let’s get away.
I stood up and said,
“Fine. I’ll attend class starting tomorrow.”
“Really? You better behave from now on! You’ve been slacking lately.”
So honest, isn’t she?
Or is she just clueless?
I’m sure the whole school has heard about it already.
Besides, she’s in Class A, so she was at the scene.
“Slacking? You think I’m slacking?”
“Yeah. You’ve been skipping classes a lot. You’re not the only one; that fire girl is doing the same.”
The fire girl probably refers to Hong Yeonhwa.
“Don’t you care why I missed class?”
“Is meeting a demon really that big of a deal? They’re our enemies anyway.”
“…Sophie is dead.”
“Oh, right. I totally forgot about that.”
I flinched.
Her response was too nonchalant.
“So that was the reason? I see you two were quite close to that girl.”
“…”
“Well, you can’t just wallow in sorrow forever. You have to forget the dead and live for those who are still alive.”
“Don’t say it so easily.”
Valentina blinked a few times at my words and smiled faintly.
“You’re still so innocent.”
“What?”
“Once we graduate from the academy, we become heroes. Though it’s a grand title, we are essentially soldiers fighting against monsters. The death of a comrade will become a part of our daily lives; will you still react this way then?”
“Shut up.”
She reached out her hand.
“Calm down. I’m not trying to pick a fight. I’m genuinely worried about you.”
“Shut up!”
“With that weak mentality, you’ll struggle to live in this world.”
“Shut up…!”
“Such a conversation would only lead to adverse effects right now. Let’s talk again when you’ve calmed down. See you next time.”
With that, Valentina shamelessly waved goodbye and left.
I glared at her back, unable to hold back, and chased after her.
“Ahhh!”
“Apologize!”
I yanked her hair roughly.
“What are you doing!? Will you please let go?!”
“Apologize! Say sorry to Sophie!”
“Get a grip! Sophie is dead!”
“Shut up!!”
Ignoring her attempts to pull me away, I continued to tug at her hair.
Eventually, it turned into a brawl, rolling on the ground.
No, it was a one-sided attack from me.
Valentina didn’t hit me back or use her abilities.
“What are you two doing?”
I looked up at the voice that came from the front.
Kim Shin Woo was standing in front of us.
*
After hearing the two’s exchange, Kim Shin Woo sighed deeply.
It was a situation where it was hard to claim one side was entirely at fault.
It was clear that Valentina started the quarrel.
But the one who crossed the line and used violence was Hana.
Shin Woo’s heart still leaned toward Hana.
He understood her situation.
He looked at the two girls, whose beautiful faces were now covered in dirt.
Especially Valentina, who had a slight scratch on her cheek where her nails left a mark.
“First, do both of you acknowledge your mistakes?”
“Yeah…”
“…”
Unlike Valentina, Hana kept her mouth shut.
Shin Woo met her gaze with a complicated expression.
“Hana.”
“…Yeah.”
“Do you acknowledge it?”
“…Yeah.”
“Thanks for admitting.”
This wasn’t a huge issue.
It shouldn’t be.
“Then let’s apologize to each other and forget it. Valentina, how about you apologize first?”
She complied with Shin Woo’s words like a meek lamb.
Whether she truly acknowledged her mistake or was just putting on a front for the boy she liked was known only to her.
“I’m sorry… I didn’t understand Hana’s feelings and spoke selfishly.”
“Alright. Now, Hana?”
“…”
Hana fell silent again.
Then the girl suddenly stood up.
“Hana?”
Hana, who had been clutching her clothes and shivering sadly, murmured with a voice full of moisture.
“…I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Huh?”
“I… I’m not at fault.”
Thud!
“Hana!”
Before Shin Woo could grab her, Hana ran off into the distance.
Just as he was about to chase after her, Shin Woo found himself unable to leave Valentina behind.
“…Did I really do something wrong?”
“No. It’s just a misunderstanding between you two. Let’s talk again tomorrow.”
“Yeah…”
Shin Woo deeply regretted that choice.
*
I lay there blankly, staring at the sky.
The same beautiful scenery as a few days ago.
The cold concrete ground and the tickling night breeze were the same.
The only thing that changed was Hana.
You’re not here anymore.
‘With such a weak mind, you’ll struggle to live in this world.’
Thinking about it, that line makes sense.
This isn’t the Earth I knew.
A world where people die at the hands of monsters.
If it weren’t for Sophie, such things would’ve probably happened.
In the end, even if you like someone in this world, you never know when you might lose them.
In this kind of world.
Do I really have to keep living?
Suddenly, that thought crossed my mind.
What if I just die?
Not to gain abilities.
Real suicide.
The pain of losing Sophie might heal one day.
But someday, I’d end up getting hurt again.
Because that’s just the kind of world it is.
“…”
I raised my body and walked forward.
I leaned against the railing and looked down.
If I fall from here, I’ll probably die.
And I’d definitely not meet the resurrection conditions.
Real suicide. Eternal death.
I carefully climbed over the railing.
The cool breeze swept my hair back.
If I let go of the railing and throw myself forward now…
I would die just like that.
I slowly let go of my hands.
And looked up at the sky.
The stars were still sparkling.
I remembered you wanting to become a twinkling star.
Are you there now?
‘No matter how far apart we are, if we think of each other, we are always together.’
Are we together now?
I hope you’re watching me from the night sky.
I gripped the pendant around my neck tightly.
I’ll trust you this one time.
You asked me to live.
Since it’s your last request, I’ll grant it.
It’s tough, but I’ll try to hold on.
So…
Thud.
“…Huh?”
I felt a push from behind.
Losing my balance, my body tilted forward.
There was nothing in front of me to catch me.
I was falling.
At the last moment, I turned my head.
Someone was looking down at me from the rooftop.
I met the gaze of someone with blue eyes like the sea.
“Sophie…?”