LIGHTNOVELWORLD Chapter 56
“So it wasn’t a demon. An unexpected turn of events.”
“Have we confirmed the Messiah’s death perfectly?”
“With the gate closed, we have to assume he’s dead.”
“That’s a problem. Losing our most important card so easily.”
“It’s just a bit inconvenient. The plan will definitely succeed.”
“Right. The blood and holy water of the Messiah obtained through Longinus. By combining these with the forger, we can create a false Christ.”
“Think of it as fortunate, really. If the Messiah had fallen into the hands of the demon, things would have been much more dangerous.”
“However, there’s no helping that it will take time. What’s the status of the forger?”
“Not good, it seems. I never imagined they would escape so recklessly.”
“If we had lost both, it would have been truly terrible.”
“It’s ironic, isn’t it? The forger and the savior were childhood friends.”
“In the end, what’s important is the plan. Everything else is just a pawn for that plan.”
*
A strange sensation I had never felt before.
It felt a bit awkward, but it didn’t seem bad.
Like the feeling of floating on an endless ocean where nothing existed, letting go of everything and drifting with the currents and the wind.
Buried in clouds greater than mountains connecting the sky, I felt as though the cells and atoms that composed my body had scattered, becoming part of the whole.
I am not afraid.
This moment that I’ve never experienced before does not approach me with fear.
Instead, I only feel a comfortable and cozy feeling, like I’m returning to where I was always meant to be.
Is this death?
Am I dead?
As I became aware of the state of my attributes, forgotten memories washed over me like a tide.
As I reclaimed all my memories, I recalled how my last moments had been.
However, just because I remembered doesn’t mean I could understand it.
What I experienced in the temple where I last fled was, even now, straddling the uncertain boundary between reality and fantasy.
Especially when I became one with the angel.
Thus, the important thing isn’t the events that occurred in reality, but rather the emotions and intentions that make up the essence of those events.
I had been in a state of accepting death, having given up everything.
That’s why I didn’t put up any resistance against Han Si-hyun while denying all the pain, suffering, trials, and tribulations.
However, Han Si-hyun audaciously demanded an apology from me, and at that moment, something I had been holding back exploded within me.
So, I rejected the fate of being a savior thrust upon me and fervently wished for this world’s destruction.
That feeling. The blatant intention resonated in reality.
As I was pierced by Longinus’s spear, the angels began to awaken, and the Archangel Gabriel proposed we become one.
A mythical power capable of destroying everything.
A product of an overwhelming might unreachable by humans.
The moment the Archangel awoke, humanity could no longer avert its destruction by itself.
Only my choice would determine humanity’s survival.
My choice was forgiveness.
In response to Kim Shinwoo’s heartfelt apology, I forgave humanity and discarded the Archangel’s physical form.
And.
I chose death for myself.
This is all there is to my story.
An ending so anticlimactic it’s almost disappointing.
So, what of the thoughts I have now?
How am I still thinking even though I’ve died?
Could it be that I’m not really dead?
“No. You definitely died.”
A voice that wasn’t mine.
With the appearance of a being that transcended my existence, the world was remodeled.
The space that had been empty filled with darkness as my body was created.
So, ultimately, ‘I’ can only exist if there is something different to distinguish from myself.
“Who are you? Are you a god?”
“Who knows?”
“Where is this? The afterlife?”
“No. This is the boundary between life and death.”
“But if I’m dead, haven’t I crossed the boundary?”
“True. You have certainly died. But you are a special being. You can resurrect.”
Resurrection.
Ability.
Awakening.
A concept I had longed for until now.
But now those words feel rather unwelcome.
I don’t want to go back to a reality full of pain.
I want to end everything and comfortably rest in death.
Perfect death where consciousness fades and thought halts, requiring no action at all.
That is the only thing I desire.
I’m tired now.
“Why?”
Why am I tired, you ask?
Do you really have to ask to know?
If you had watched my life from the sidelines, you’d surely know.
“Since coming to this world, all I have faced is unbearable pain.”
“Really? But there are pieces of light like this.”
A little cluster of light sparkled in the space that had been filled with darkness.
I instinctively understood that it was the concept of memory orbs.
I touched the orb and began to read the memories.
As expected, the memories with Sophie played back.
But that was not all.
The club activities I had with Hong Yeonhwa and the two of us together.
The sweet taste of milk I had for the first time since being possessed.
Conversations with Kim Shinwoo under a quiet night sky in the park.
“Have you never been truly happy even once?”
“Yeah. I admit it. Maybe I was a bit happy then. But ultimately, I can only be unhappy. Such is the fate I was born into.”
Everyone just wants to use me because of the name Messiah.
They don’t see me as a proper human.
“You believe in fate.”
“Fate exists. Sophie was destined to save me and die.”
“Are you sure? Sophie’s fate might have been to betray you as a demon. Maybe she refused that fate and saved you.”
It’s just meaningless wordplay.
“What does it matter? In the end, Sophie is dead. That’s Sophie’s fate.”
“You don’t believe Sophie is alive. Then why side with the demons? If you’re not going to meet Sophie again, it’s pointless.”
After a moment’s hesitation, I replied.
“Just like I can resurrect, maybe Sophie can come back to life too.”
“Well, that sounds overly optimistic.”
“Enough! I don’t want to talk anymore! It’s all in the past! Fine. I just want to die as I am.”
And I covered my ears.
But the voice penetrated through and echoed in my ears.
“In the end, you’re running away again. You turn your back and flee. That doesn’t solve the problem at all.”
“Shut up! What do you know!? You know nothing! Who are you to tell me what to do?!”
The voice spoke.
“No matter how much you throw a tantrum, there’s no way around it. You must resurrect and continue living.”
“No. I won’t live. The gates where I died are closed. On top of that, I fell to my death on endless clouds with no ground beneath me. Therefore, I can’t live.”
“Then you’ll spend eternity falling from the sky for the rest of your life.”
I buried my face in my knees and muttered.
“What do you want? Why do you keep tormenting me when I’m dead? I don’t even wish for happiness. Just let me rest comfortably. I want to stay forever dead.”
“You’re venerating happiness. You see it as something sacred and unattainable. But that’s an illusion. Happiness is much cheaper and more common than that.”
No. That can’t be.
If happiness were so easily obtainable, why have I struggled so hard yet never attained it?
“You have already experienced happiness. You saw it just a moment ago.”
“That was just a fleeting moment.”
“You know best. Those happy moments were actually just ordinary scenes.”
That might be true.
The memories with Sophie, I long for them dearly now, but at the time, I even found them bothersome.
The club activities were the same, and even the conversation in the park happened after Sophie had died.
Even during those painful times, I had briefly felt happiness.
Perhaps the voice might be right.
If I exerted just a little effort, I might be able to enjoy happiness.
“But it’s scary.”
“What is?”
“I’m afraid of getting hurt again. I don’t want to be in pain anymore.”
So I’d rather stay as I am.
If I do nothing, there’s no reason to be hurt again.
With no one around, I don’t have to fear losing someone.
With no expectations, there’s no chance of being betrayed.
“I see. You’re still hurt too much, aren’t you?”
“But you must resurrect. If you remain as you are, your mind will completely break down.”
“Then I just need to forget for a while.”
“When you’re ready to accept, I’ll give it back to you then.”
A warm voice.
A cluster of bright light approached and gently wrapped around me.
I felt a warm sensation.
A hand caressing my cheek.
I lifted my head and looked at the girl’s face.
I see now.
The identity of the voice was you all along.
You had been watching everything until now.
Inside me.
Yu Hana wiped away my tears and smiled.
“Let’s meet again. Goodbye.”
*
Deep darkness.
This is a place where no life dwells.
The only existing thing is an endless river of darkness and silence.
A deep lake.
This is the lowest point in the world.
Only those who have fallen from the highest place can reach the bottom.
S-class gate – beneath the lake of abyss.
The two spaces are connected as one.
The hideout of the Archangel and the lake of the abyss are connected.
Thus, there was a being who visited this place.
“So you were here.”
The red light from the mask illuminated a girl sleeping beneath the lake.
“It’s been a long time, Savior.”
Yu Hana’s eyes met those of the Black Goat.