I Became the Childhood Friend Who Commits Sui**de

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How long have I been trapped here?

In a space where nothing can be confirmed, even my sense of time has become twisted.

It feels like no time has passed at all, yet it also seems like an eternity has flowed by.

They say that locking a person in a pure white room can drive them mad.

Perhaps I might already be losing my sanity.

What has become of the outside world?

Have the Apostles already attacked the Academy?

Since our last conversation, no one, including Longinus, has come to see me here.

I felt as though I was left completely alone in this world.

Shin Woo already knows how unreal this situation is.

Just think about it. If such a long time truly has passed since I became trapped here, it would be reasonable to feel hunger or thirst.

Moreover, even essential bodily functions aren’t occurring at all.

This reality lies well beyond common sense.

I can guess two things.

First, it’s possible that the time I’ve been trapped here is just a brief moment, contrary to my perception.

If I assume I’m not feeling any hunger or thirst, then it should only be a few hours at most.

If not, it must be due to the miraculous power of the Holy Grail.

Regardless of what the truth may be, staying cooped up here will lead to nothing.

I can’t even find out what the situation at the Academy is like, let alone go meet Hana.

I’ve already made countless attempts to escape.

None of them succeeded.

A terrible sense of helplessness weighed heavily upon me.

It felt like I was being pushed into a swamp from which there was no escape and slowly sinking.

What should I do now?

What can I do?

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

The sanity I had been holding onto slowly crumbled away.

What drove the boy into despair wasn’t an overwhelming enemy or a tragic fate separating them.

It was just the time flowing aimlessly and the space disconnected from reality.

Like a rock being worn down by the waves, Shin Woo’s heart also began to crumble.

At some moment, the boy realized that he couldn’t see anything.

The once pure white space was completely turned upside down and now filled only with darkness.

It was impossible to tell if it was nightfall that made the world dark, or if his eyes were blinded, causing the white room to vanish from sight.

He couldn’t even discern that.

No, he didn’t have the will to differentiate.

He left the darkness to gnaw away at his body and mind.

Let time flow like this for a lifetime, eroding him until he felt no emotion at all.

But the voice that echoed out from the darkness did not permit that.

“What a pathetic sight.”

It was a voice I was familiar with.

Yet I couldn’t recall who it belonged to.

Could this voice be a mere illusion of my own making?

Or was it real?

“Nothing will change if you just sit there like that.”

I know that much.

But moving wouldn’t yield any differences either.

If nothing changes regardless of what I do, isn’t it better to simply give up comfortably?

“Then the slightest possibility for change will disappear.”

A mere sliver of possibility.

Trusting in the vague probability that things could change and walking through a thorny path?

“If it’s worth it.”

Worth it.

What I’m desperately struggling for.

Yu Hana.

Is she worth sacrificing everything for?

My childhood friend, someone I’ve spent my whole life with.

Yet, saying we were close feels a bit off, as there was a subtle distance between us.

Since entering the Academy, we’ve barely spoken as if we were awkward friends.

I admit it.

I’ve grown accustomed to her presence over time and have drifted apart from her.

The catalyst for my reconnection was merely guilt that she was suffering.

At some moment, that guilt became a lingering regret. The regret turned into sympathy. The sympathy morphed into obsession.

My feelings toward you shifted like a chameleon, changing color with each passing moment.

Ultimately, as time flowed, my emotions became so entangled that I could no longer discern how I truly felt.

A myriad of colors mingled, enveloping my heart in thoughts of Yu Hana.

Even amidst all this, one thing remained unchanged from beginning to end.

The cherished memories of our childhood days together.

Longing for those times when we found happiness in each other’s company without any worries.

If only I could turn back time to create a world where you aren’t hurt.

If that’s impossible, at the very least, I want to make you happy from now on.

This isn’t penance or guilt.

I can’t define it in a single word, but if I absolutely have to find a reason,

It’s because I like you.

“It’s worth it… Of course, it is. I swore it. I promised that I would make sure she was happy, even if I had to sacrifice my life.”

So there’s no time to be stuck in a place like this.

With renewed resolve, Shin Woo stood up and gazed ahead.

Slowly, his vision brightened, and he began to see the place he was in.

Someone was standing beyond the glass window.

His vision wasn’t fully restored, making it difficult to identify for sure, yet without a doubt, there was a man standing before him.

The voice was real, not an echo of his mind.

The man obscured in darkness spoke.

“If you wish, I can take you out of here.”

“Are you serious?”

“Of course. But you must remember something.”

Anything is fine.

If I can get out of here and meet Hana again.

I’d even agree to a deal with the devil.

“As long as you stay here, the Apostles will be defeated, and humanity will prevail. You can prevent humanity’s extinction.”

What the man was saying was more shocking than expected.

Surpassing my life or the temptations of the devil, this mattered for the survival of humanity.

By saying this,

If I ignore his warning and leave this room…

“If I go out and meet Hana, humanity will perish?”

“You already know the answer. I won’t force you. The choice remains yours.”

“…….”

Shin Woo stared silently beyond the glass window for a moment.

With his decision here, he could either become the hero who saves humanity or the traitor who abandons the world.

Thinking about it made a hollow laugh escape him.

Academy students declare upon enrollment.

As hero cadets who will protect humanity, all their actions will prioritize humanity’s survival first.

Shin Woo stood at the forefront and boldly exclaimed the declaration.

He remembers it as a proud moment filled with a sense of duty during his long-awaited Academy entrance ceremony.

Then, another memory surfaced.

It was not as bright or splendid as the spotlight during the entrance ceremony, nor the spacious auditorium.

At twilight beneath a starry night sky,

There were only the two of them, void of any attention or interest.

Sitting on a creaking swing, they shared trivial conversations.

That day, Shin Woo pledged something in his heart only for one girl.

That solitary vow may seem insignificant and unremarkable to others,

But to the boy, it was the noblest of oaths above all.

There was no need to compare what was more important.

“The world to me right now is Yu Hana. Even if I can protect everyone, if I can’t protect Hana, my world would perish anyway. So.”

“You selfish brat.”

The man who chastised the boy wore a smile on his face.

“I hope you follow through with that choice to the very end. Because fate is not something that needs to be followed; it’s something to be carved out.”

“Now let me go. I’m going to meet Hana.”

“Alright. This time, make sure you succeed.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, the man snapped his fingers.

With that, the world turned into a bright light, and Shin Woo had no choice but to close his eyes.

When he opened them again, the glass that had barred him from leaving had vanished without a trace.

Along with the man who was on the other side.

Though he was curious about the enigmatic man’s true identity, there was no time to dwell on that now.

Just as he had said his last words, this time, I will definitely succeed.

Though I missed my chance at the Academy and the Sanctuary,

Today, I will catch her for sure.

Just wait a little longer.

I’m coming now.

*

The girl squinted her eyes.

When she stepped outside, the situation was more serious than she had anticipated.

Most importantly, fierce battles were breaking out everywhere.

Naturally, she had expected the Apostles to have the advantage, but contrary to her expectations, the tide of battle showed no signs of leaning toward either side.

The girl, having passed through the shattered streets, arrived at the auditorium.

Upon seeing the scene that unfolded there, she was left in shock.

She hurried toward the fallen old man, but the Green Horse had already drawn its last breath.

I never would have imagined that there would be a human capable of defeating an Apostle.

At this rate, we might really lose this war.

If only we had fought together instead of scattering, wouldn’t we stand a better chance?

After closing the old man’s eyes, White Lamb prepared to head to the teacher.

“…Where are you going?”

At that moment, she turned upon hearing a voice from behind.

There stood a girl, obviously in bad shape, glaring at her with difficulty.

“It’s you. The human who killed the Horseman.”

Since they didn’t encounter each other at the Sanctuary, this was their first meeting for White Lamb.

However, she had already become familiar with the girl’s face through the attendance list in class.

Valentina.

Perhaps that girl had once known her before losing her memory?

Most likely, yes.

But now, that had nothing to do with them.

In their current states, they were merely enemies they had to kill.

To avenge her fallen comrade, White Lamb took a fighting stance.

Defeating an Apostle signifies an exceptional level of skill, yet she could easily overcome someone who looked so worn out.

“Ha… Ugh!”

The opponent was bleeding and swaying more than she expected.

No, something was off with her.

It wasn’t just that she was hurt…

What unfolded next was utterly shocking.

Eventually, Valentina, sitting on the ground, began to blur and slowly fade away, starting to flow like liquid.

“What the…?”

White Lamb couldn’t help but watch the scene in horror.

What is this? Is that also a skill? But she seems to be in agony.

At that moment, someone spoke from behind her.

“It’s a side effect of the Holy Water.”