I Became the Priest of Blasphemy of the Outer Gods

Unable to fall asleep, I suggested that Talia sleep a bit more. However, Talia seemed too worried about me to fall asleep herself.

…or perhaps she was scared.

“What does meditation feel like?”

Unable to sleep, I found myself answering Talia’s many questions. It seemed to be her way of alleviating her own anxieties.

‘It’s endearing in a way’, I thought.

Conversing with someone could also help me maintain my sanity, so I didn’t particularly mind.

“Is it like dreaming?”

“It’s quite different. It’s more like hallucinations, visions, or revelations. For a priest, it’s akin to combat training for a warrior.”

“Like how mages research magic? I’ve seen that before.”

This piqued my interest.

“You’ve seen a mage?”

“I haven’t seen actual magic, but there’s an older brother in a nearby village who’s always holed up studying magic.”

“Ah…”

I sighed with some disappointment. Unless he was wealthy enough to afford private lessons, it was likely a futile endeavor. A self-taught magic genius in our world was as rare as a child being able to handle university-level courses.

… But I digress.

“Wish him luck.”

“I want to be a magic warrior. I used to want to be a Luminari.”

“Luminari…”

If it was the Luminari I knew, it was certainly a commendable aspiration.

‘According to Dowol, they are impressive in every way.’

They engage in demon subjugation, maintain public order, and serve as honor guards, earning substantial public support and trust.

‘But they have their problems too…’

I noticed my hands trembling. My breath became irregular, and anxiety crept in.

‘They are waiting in the abyss… ready to cover the world in impurities.’

The aftereffects of meditating were severe. Due to my extraordinary talent as a priest, I had received an overwhelming amount of information at once.

“Mister?”

“Huh? Oh… I’m okay.”

“No, you don’t look well…”

Have I reached the point where even a child is worried about me? Wiping my forehead, I felt cold sweat.

‘This isn’t good. It’s not a disease; it’s anxiety and stress.’

My strong mental fortitude allowed me to maintain this much composure. However, I couldn’t say how much longer I could hold out.

‘It’s slowly eating away at my mind, and it might get worse over time.’

Regulating my breathing helped to some extent, but I couldn’t fully escape from the anxiety. No matter how strong the mind, a human is still human. Ultimately, one falls prey to outer insanity.

‘Come to think of it… how did I even know how to meditate?’

Dowol certainly hadn’t taught me. When 《Orders》 was merely a game, there was no need to detail such a method.

‘Moreover, I’ve never played a priest, so I lacked specific knowledge in this area.’

So how did I come to know about meditation? The source of this unnatural knowledge was obvious. The beings that granted me such knowledge were undoubtedly the formless residues.

‘I’ve been had. Crafty bastards… I didn’t notice at all.’

It might seem like they attempted to help me, but the reality was different. They aimed to subtly alter my mind, intending to recruit me into their ranks. Their objective was always that from the beginning, and it would continue to be so.

“Talia, I think we need to part ways here.”

Although my mental fortitude was only gradually waning… given the assured manipulation and influence of the formless residues, I couldn’t risk involving her further.

“I-I told you, I’m fine.”

“Honestly, I can’t say that I’m in good condition. If I were you, I would never have stayed with me.”

“Is it that bad?”

Talia wore a serious expression, and I nodded in agreement. While I appreciated her concern, it was best for her not to get involved any further.

“Yeah. It’s much safer if you go alone.”

I spoke earnestly, but Talia sighed and shook her head.

“No. It’s still safer to go with you.”

“Being chased by the Church of Hayat aside, I am dangerous myself. Monsters are targeting me.”

Even now, in the depths of the underground, they waited for me to fall, for my mind to break.

“Do you think I would be safe if I went alone?”

Talia stared at me intensely.

“They would chase the director as well. How many days do you think I could survive if we separated?”

“You could definitely…”

“I know you’re a dangerous existence. But at least for now, you haven’t harmed me.”

Talia asserted strongly as she stepped closer.

“Do you realize how safe it has been, thanks to you?”

What was she talking about? I looked at her, puzzled, as she scanned our surroundings.

“Honestly, isn’t it too quiet? How many animals other than rabbits have we encountered?”

Now that I thought about it, almost none.

“Well, it’s because we have the torch lit, and wild animals usually avoid humans.”

“I haven’t been bitten by a single bug since we started traveling together.”

Her words startled me. Indeed, in this forest, there should be plenty of mosquitoes, yet I hadn’t been bothered by them even once.

“Even if we disregard animals, magical beasts aren’t afraid of fire.”

She was right. During the time of ≪Orders≫, monsters in the forest had attacked us despite the fire.

“This forest is regularly patrolled by Luminaries to handle magical beasts, but it’s still not devoid of creatures that could easily kill a person.”

That aligned with my memories as well. While the mobs we encountered during ≪Orders≫ weren’t very strong, they weren’t incapable of killing people.

“And they were highly aggressive.”

There were numerous instances where Dowol described them attacking upon seeing fire or smelling smoke.

“Wherever I go, I have to pass through forests. You know how high the chances are of dying from poisonous insects or magical beasts? If I stay with you, I don’t have to worry about those dangers at all.”

I had to admit, her reasoning made sense. Clearly, my mindset was still stuck in the modern world.

“That does seem logical.”

I believed Talia would be safe if I wasn’t around, but this world was filled with threats to survival.

“Is the reason no bugs are around due to the aura of an Outer God?”

Ordinary living creatures were repelled and felt aversion towards the aura of an Outer God. Animals or magical beasts with keener senses than humans especially felt it instinctively.

“Is it the transformation caused by using the Forbidden Transformation? Though it’s not significant enough to call it a change.”

It seemed Talia didn’t sense anything. I found myself curious, and she seemed to think I was still hesitant.

“And I’m not that young anymore. I’ll be an adult soon.”

“That still means you’re young.”

Talia pouted at my words. Her reaction made me realize she was still just a kid. But I understood she didn’t stick with me simply because she had no one else to rely on.

“What exactly is your current problem? If it’s the book, can’t you just burn it?”

I shook my head at Talia, who was looking at the scripture. Items influenced by an Outer God should not be destroyed recklessly.

“Mind started to go awry. You know that everyone related to the Outer Gods goes mad, right?”

Talia quietly nodded. A trace of anxiety flickered on her normally confident face.

‘Artifacts like the Dragon Crown will take a long time to obtain, and there’s no guarantee we can get it in the first place.’

It would be great to have one, but I had to set it as a long-term goal and come up with solutions for now.

“Do you happen to know any villages with a proper mage?”

“I heard there’s a mage near Milane Village.”

There is one!

Her face brightened at the thought. Honestly, I had been worried that it would be difficult to find a mage in this remote area!

“Why do you need a mage?”

“A ‘calming potion’. Mages always have that potion on hand.”

Mages often used it to stay calm while conducting their studies. Though it wasn’t an extremely potent potion, it could alleviate my current level of anxiety.

“Maybe they can offer other help too.”

If the mage turned out to be a ‘Potion Maker’, they could create other potions to reduce or stabilize mental damage. If they were a ‘War Mage’ specialized in combat, I might be able to hire them as a mercenary.

“Do you know what kind of mage?”

“No, I’ve only heard that they don’t leave their house….”

A mage deeply immersed in research then. Chances were high that they were a Potion Maker or an ‘Enchanter’ who worked primarily within their own home.

‘If it’s either of those, they’d definitely be a big help.’

I made up my mind. Meeting that mage took precedence over anything else, even if it was just for one calming potion.

‘…Ugh, what is this?’

Suddenly, I felt a chill. It was different from the anxiety I had felt earlier.

‘I need to hurry.’

There wasn’t any time to waste; I couldn’t afford to deal with another problem arising.

“Alright, let’s head to Milane Village as quickly as possible. We need to meet that mage and ask for assistance.”

“Milane is in the direction we came from, you know?”

“Haa… I guess we’ll have to go back. What else can we do?”

I sighed and lay back on the ground, gazing at the multitude of stars in the sky. They were beautiful, but in a world where Outer Gods existed, how safe could those stars really be?

“I can’t sleep. Maybe I’ve also been affected.”

“If you can’t sleep, we should just start moving now”, Talia said casually as she packed up their belongings.

“You should get some rest.”

“I won’t be able to sleep well anyway, not with this anxiety. It’d be better for both of us to get moving quickly…”

Talia hesitated briefly before continuing, “…I also want to meet the mage.”

“Heh, honestly, so do I.”

They shared a chuckle over the unexpected common ground as they got up. The anxiety troubling his mind was momentarily suppressed by his anticipation and curiosity about the mage.

“Alright, let’s go. We probably won’t stay in the village, but if we’re lucky, the mage might let us stay at their place for a night.”

“A mage? Would a mage really want guests in their house?”

Would they?

I wasn’t sure about that, but there was one thing I knew for certain. In my experience playing as a mage…

“Mages are always short on money. Research is costly.”

I shook my bag of jewels to show Talia before we began walking. Despite any fatigue, Talia led the way with energy. No beast, monster, or even a single bug was in sight.

“Not a single bug around here.”

It seemed the rabbit they encountered earlier had really bad luck to have escaped from the cave only to meet them.