LIGHTNOVELWORLD Chapter 4: Secrets
I awoke in a cold sweat, my mind still grappling with the disorienting memories and emotions that had overwhelmed me. The room was dark, with only the faint glow of the moonlight filtering through the curtains. The silence was thick, almost suffocating, as I lay there, struggling to piece together my fractured thoughts.
For a moment, I wasn't sure if I was still dreaming. The pain in my body had dulled to a persistent ache, and my limbs felt heavy, as if weighed down by the residual effects of the "Bouquet of Blood" card. I shifted slightly, wincing as the movement sent a sharp pang through my muscles.
Eliza was no longer beside me. I realized I must have slept for a while; the fatigue that had gripped me earlier seemed less oppressive now. My mind, however, was still a whirlwind of confusion and unresolved questions. Why had the "Bouquet of Blood" caused such a violent reaction? And why was I plagued by Rian's memories as if they were my own?
I turned my head slowly to the side, noticing a faint light coming from under the door. The castle was never truly dark; even at night, the corridors were illuminated by torches or candlelight to guide those who wandered the halls. I could hear faint murmurs outside—servants perhaps, or maybe the guards on their rounds.
My fingers twitched, a reflexive movement that reminded me of the pain I had felt earlier. The memory of the dark veins, the unbearable agony, and the sudden rush of memories flooded back. I closed my eyes, trying to center myself, to breathe through the lingering panic. I needed answers, and lying here wasn't going to provide them.
Pushing myself up slowly, I forced my body to move despite the protests of my aching muscles. I felt weak, but determination burned in my chest. I had to know more about Rian. I had to understand what kind of life I had been thrust into and why.
Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I steadied myself before standing. My legs wobbled under my weight, but I refused to give in to the weakness. Step by step, I moved toward the small desk in the corner of the room where I had seen the journal earlier.
The journey across the room felt like traversing a vast expanse, every step heavy with effort. When I finally reached the desk, I grabbed the edge to steady myself, my breaths coming in shallow gasps. The journal lay there, innocuous yet filled with the promise of understanding.
I carefully opened the journal, turning the pages until I found an entry that caught my attention. The handwriting was familiar but filled with a quiet pain that made my heart ache.
"Fourth Month of the Imperial Year 560,
Mother was the only one who showed me kindness in this house. She was always there, even when everyone else turned their backs on me. But now she's gone. They never treated her well because she was Father's second wife. They looked down on her, treating her like a servant. I don't understand why they hate me so much. What did I do wrong? I miss her so much."
As I read Rian's words, a wave of sorrow washed over me. His pain was palpable, and I could feel his loneliness and confusion as if it were my own. The loss of his mother, the only person who had ever shown him any love or kindness, had left a deep scar on his heart.
I turned the page, eager to learn more about Rian's life and the family that despised him without reason. The next entry was dated a few days later.
"Fourth Month of the Imperial Year 560,
Today, Father and my brothers refused to eat with me again. It's as if I don't exist to them. I heard them whispering about me, saying terrible things. They blame me for everything, even Mother's death. I don't understand why they hate me so much. Was it because Mother was the second wife? Or is there something wrong with me?"
The more I read, the more I felt Rian's despair and frustration. He was a boy lost in his own home, shunned by his family for reasons he couldn't understand. His mother had been his only source of comfort, and without her, he was adrift in a sea of hostility and indifference.
I continued to flip through the journal, each entry a glimpse into a life filled with rejection and sorrow. Rian had tried to find solace in books, in his studies, hoping to prove himself and gain some semblance of approval from his family. But no matter how hard he tried, nothing seemed to change.
"Seventh Month of the Imperial Year 560,
I visited the library again today. It's the only place where I feel at peace. The books don't judge me; they don't look at me with disdain. I wish I could stay there forever, away from this house and the people who despise me."
I closed the journal, my heart heavy with the weight of Rian's memories. His life had been one of isolation and unending pain, and now, somehow, I was here in his place. I didn't know why or how, but one thing was certain: I would find out the truth about Rian and the family that had treated him so cruelly.
Taking a deep breath, I made a silent vow to uncover the secrets of this life I had inherited. I wouldn't let Rian's suffering be in vain. I would find out why his family hated him and what had really happened to his mother. I would find a way to bring justice to Rian, to make his voice heard, even if it was through me.
I heard a soft knock on the door, pulling me from my thoughts. My heart skipped a beat as I wondered who could be there at this hour. The castle was mostly quiet at night, with only the occasional servant or guard passing by. I hesitated, unsure if I should answer or pretend to be asleep.
The knock came again, this time a bit more insistent. Whoever it was, they weren't going to go away easily. I took a deep breath, steeling myself for whatever or whoever might be on the other side of the door.
"Come in," I called out, my voice steadier than I felt.
The door creaked open slowly, and a figure stepped into the room. The light from the corridor behind them cast a long shadow across the floor, making it difficult to see their face at first. But as they moved closer, the flickering candlelight revealed a maid, it wasn't Eliza. And I saw a small plate in her hand.
She approached with careful, measured steps, her eyes downcast as if afraid to meet mine. The maid was young, perhaps in her late teens, with her brown hair neatly tied back. Her uniform was simple but well-kept, her hands trembling slightly as she held the plate.
"I apologize for disturbing you, my lord," she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper. "But I was told to bring this to you. A light meal, in case you were hungry."
Her words were polite, but there was an undercurrent of nervousness in her tone. I glanced down at the plate she held; it was simple fare, a small loaf of bread, a slice of cheese, a small bowl of vegetable soup and some fruit. My stomach growled involuntarily, reminding me that I hadn't eaten since before the incident with the "Bouquet of Blood" card.
"Thank you," I replied, trying to sound reassuring. I didn't want to frighten her further. "You can leave it on the table."
She nodded quickly and stepped forward, placing the plate on the desk beside the journal. As she did, I noticed the way her hands trembled, her fingers brushing against the wood for support. Her fear was palpable, a stark reminder of the tension that seemed to permeate this household.
"Is there something else?" I asked gently, sensing that she had more to say.
The maid hesitated, biting her lower lip. She glanced toward the door, as if checking to see if anyone was listening, before finally speaking.
"My lord... there are rumors," she began, her voice barely audible. "Some of the servants have been talking. They say you... they say you've been different since your fever."
I felt a chill run down my spine at her words. Different. Of course, I was different—I wasn't Rian. But how could she, or anyone else, know that?
"Different how?" I asked carefully, keeping my tone even.
She seemed to struggle with her response, her eyes darting nervously around the room. "They say you've become... quieter. More distant. As if something has changed inside you."
I nodded slowly, understanding the gravity of her words. It was inevitable that people would notice the changes in my behavior, especially those who had known Rian well. But I had to be careful; the last thing I needed was to arouse suspicion.
"I've been through a lot," I said softly, trying to choose my words carefully. "The fever took more out of me than I expected. But I assure you, I'm still the same person."
The maid nodded, but I could see the uncertainty in her eyes. She wasn't entirely convinced, and I couldn't blame her. After all, even I wasn't sure who I was anymore in this strange new world.
"Thank you for the meal," I added, hoping to gently dismiss her. "You should get some rest. It's late."
She gave a quick bow, her relief evident, and hurried to the door. Just as she reached for the handle, she paused and turned back to me, a flicker of hesitation in her gaze.
"My lord," she said, her voice trembling slightly, "if you need anything... anything at all... please don't hesitate to ask. Some of us remember what your mother was like. We—"
She stopped herself, her eyes widening as if she had said too much. Without another word, she turned and left, closing the door softly behind her.
I stood there, staring at the closed door, my mind racing. "Some of us remember what your mother was like." Her words echoed in my head, bringing a rush of emotions I didn't quite understand. Was there more to Rian's story than I had read in the journal? Had his mother left behind allies, people who still cared for her son even after her death?
I had to find out more. If there were people in this household who knew more about Rian's past, they might hold the key to understanding the hatred his family harbored. And maybe, just maybe, they could help me navigate the complexities of this new life.
I turned back to the plate of food on the desk and took a seat. As I ate, my thoughts continued to swirl, each bite fueling my determination. There was more to this place than met the eye, and I was determined to uncover every secret hidden within these castle walls.