Imagi Mark

Well, folks, here we are again. It's me, your favorite snarky voice of reason, truth-teller extraordinaire, and reluctant babysitter to the ever-growing population of newly-powered Mark users who seem intent on redefining the word stupid. Today's entry? A girl with fire powers—fire powers, people—who thought it would be a fantastic idea to set up shop in a forest.
Yeah. A forest. You know, those places with all the trees? The ones that are famously flammable? That forest.
Now, I know what you're thinking. "Imagi Reporter, maybe she didn't know! Maybe she just needed to clear her head!" No, no, no, my sweet, naive reader. This wasn't an innocent mistake. This girl lit up that forest like she was auditioning for the next wildfire season. I don't know if she thought she'd commune with nature, summon a phoenix, or just roast some marshmallows, but whatever her plan was, it didn't involve logic.
I'm not here to shame her—okay, maybe a little—but to point out how catastrophically dumb it is for someone with literal fire powers to think, "Hey, let's chill in the one place where I could cause maximum damage with minimum effort."
Now, before we go any further, let's talk about me for a second—because I deserve it. I'm the Imagi Reporter, and my power? It's the ability to report anything and everything. That's right, I can know all the things whenever I want. Crime? Covered. Secrets? Unlocked. That weird dream you had about your third-grade math teacher? Yep, I know that too.
Do you have any idea how exhausting that is? I wanted to be the greatest journalist of all time, but instead, I'm stuck documenting the mess that is the Dermal Mark epidemic. I'm like a Pulitzer-winning war correspondent trapped in the world's worst soap opera. But hey, we all have our crosses to bear, right? Mine just happens to be in the shape of a glowing, pulsating journal etched into my forearm.
Yes, you heard me. My Mark is a literal journal. Try calling that a skin disease, Dr. Government Lackey. Oh, what's that? Your highly educated opinion is that these marks are "just a rare dermal condition"? Really? Tell that to the people growing wings or turning into literal earthquakes. Or, better yet, tell it to me—the guy with a magical notepad embedded in his arm that feeds me information like some sort of omniscient Alexa.
Skin disease, my ass.
Which brings me to my next point: the government. Oh, yes, the brilliant masterminds who brought you such classics as We Totally Have This Under Control and Don't Worry, We're Definitely Not Building More Prisons. What are they hiding? What are they planning? The truth is, I don't know yet—and before you accuse me of losing my touch, it's not because I'm slacking. It's because it's not time.
Yes, there's a clock on this whole operation, and I have inside knowledge that the gears are already turning. Plans are being drafted, decisions are being made, and when the truth finally drops, it's going to change everything. But that's for another day. Today, we're here to talk about how a girl with fire powers turned a forest into her personal fire pit.
So, here's what we know: her name is Emberly (because of course it is), and she's got a temper to match her powers. Witnesses say she lit up like a roman candle after a particularly bad argument with her stepmom. Now, I'm no psychologist, but maybe—just maybe—this was less about the Mark and more about unresolved family trauma. Just a thought.
Regardless, Emberly ran off into the woods, probably thinking she could brood in peace, and instead set half the forest on fire when she sneezed. Yes, sneezed. A literal sneeze caused a fireball that torched three acres before she managed to get it under control. Bravo, Emberly. Truly inspiring.
The good news? No one was hurt. The bad news? The cops are now looking for a "dangerous, unlicensed pyrokinetic" with a "history of unstable behavior." Because clearly, the best way to handle a scared teenager with unpredictable powers is to chase her down like she's some kind of fugitive. Great work, guys.
But here's the kicker, dear reader: amidst all this chaos, there's a man—one man—who claims to have the answers. Who claims to know what the Marks truly are and why they're here. He's a scientist, or some type of politician, this guy's a mystery.
Some call him a prophet, others call him a lunatic. I call him interesting. Because if he's right, then everything we think we know about these marks—everything the government has been feeding us—is a lie.
And if he's wrong? Well, it wouldn't be the first time someone with a Messiah complex got a little too creative with the truth. Either way, I'll be watching. Because that's what I do.
So, to recap:

 1. Emberly, if you're reading this, maybe pick a less flammable location next time?

 2. The government is hiding something big, and I'll find out what—mark my words.

 3. Skin disease? Yeah, sure. And I'm a dermatologist.

 4. To all my readers: don't trust everything you hear, except for what you hear from me.

And with that, dear reader, I leave you, so let's dive into the fray together.
Alonzi.
— The Imagi Reporter