Chapter 9: How did I lose it?
I went straight to the airport, booked a ticket for the next flight, and fell asleep while waiting for the morning to dawn on me. I was exhausted.
My flight was scheduled for 4 am, so I was able to get a little rest, and as soon as it was time, I got on the plane.
I didn't need to stay in Italy any longer. I already got what I journeyed for so there was no need to spend extra.
I got lucky to have been bought a meal because it saved an extra cost.
I got a space next to the window so as the plane took off, I took pictures, and the night sky... It was honestly beautiful.
It kind of reminded me of Seojun's eyes. They were grey but I couldn't help but feel they were as pretty as the night sky.
I rested my back on my chair, staring into oblivion. It was for a short moment but I was glad to have met them again. We parted without a goodbye before and it was still the same this time around.
'Hm, not saying goodbye is not so bad.'
Arriving back in Seoul, the fresh spring breeze blew past me and I felt alive again. I was finally away from them. Away and back to my... Lonely life, where I had no one waiting for me or smiling at me.
I rubbed my arm. The spring breeze suddenly felt chilly and I bit my bottom lip. Yeah, this was fine. I was used to it.
The contest would be ending in a few days and then I'd know what to do going forward.
But even if I didn't win, I was still happy to have taken such a picture. I felt fulfilled.
'Wait, where's my wallet?' I wondered and checked my bag.
I took out my ID card from it when booking a new plane ticket but I felt something was wrong. I took it out once more, only to discover the picture I carried around everywhere was gone.
"How?" I wondered in devastation.
Not gonna lie but that picture was the only thing I looked at when I needed strength to continue this aimless journey of life.
"How did I lose it?" I groaned, pressing my palm against my head and biting my bottom lip to the point of ripping it. "Why do such things only happen to me?"
Well, it was gone for good. Nothing would come out of crying over it.
I clutched onto my bag and started taking long strides towards the road. I flagged a taxi and went straight home.
As if it wasn't enough that I, Lee Dongwoo, have been struggling for almost all my life, I had to lose the one picture that gave me joy. Even if it was just a picture, it saved me so many times.
I can't count how many times I nearly took my life in desperation and depression. I was tired of suffering and struggling. I wanted to rid myself of the pain but... One look at that picture and I'd remember that life wasn't filled with just the bitter things.
Sometimes, bad things happen to you just so good things happen to those you love. Those were the twisted words I said to myself countless times and it seemed like it was true... In a way.
Well, let's look at the bright side.
At least, I'm not without a single memory of them. I have a new picture.
The first thing I did after returning to my single-room studio was to spread out my futon and lie down.
'Hm, their bed was much softer than this.' I subconsciously thought and rolled to lie on one side of my body. 'And it was bigger too.'
Realizing what I was saying all of a sudden, I sat up and patted my face, relinquishing those thoughts.
'Let's sleep. Yes, let's sleep. Exhaustion is making me think nonsense thoughts again.'
I fell asleep.
I'm the coming days, I went about my usual daily activities. I couldn't put all my faith into the competition so I continued working in my part-time jobs.
I delivered milk every morning, delivered pizza in the afternoons, and worked at a convenience store at night.
Then, one thing days when I had no shift, I walked around the neighborhood, took pictures for the fun of it, and ate ramen.
I'd say I was 88% content with the way my life was going, even if it wasn't the most comfortable or relaxing, but the remaining 12% wanted more.
"This looks good," I said to myself, scrolling through the pictures in my camera. "I'll take a few more and go home. It's getting late."
As soon as I got up from the bench, I heard a silent meow. I paused and looked at the bench. Where did that come from?
I was just about to walk away, feeling I was hearing things when I heard it again.
"Meow!"
"That's a cat, right?" I followed the silent meows and pushed the bushes aside, only to find a white hairy cat crouching on the floor with a bleeding paw. "Oh dear, you're wounded." I exclaimed and looked up.
Who was the owner of this cat?
There was no name tag around its neck so I assumed it was a stray, but why would such a beautiful and fancy cat be a stray? It looked prideful too so I wondered what breed it was.
While I was wondering about that, I subconsciously took up my camera and took a picture of it in its helpless state.
"Meow!" The cat hissed, probably protesting at my habit.
"Sorry, little cat. It just sorta happened." I said, awkwardly.
Okay, now I was talking to a cat. Ugh, let me just do something about it. My consciousness wouldn't let me be if I left it as it was.
"Then, beautiful princess, would you like to come home with me?" I asked. "I'll treat your wound, and give you lots to eat... Even if I don't have much."
The cat raised its paw and let out its claws but I was able to dodge its attack.
"Okay, for a cat that was crying for help, you do know how to be picky." I said and suddenly realized something, causing me to laugh. "Why do I see myself in you?"
I stared into the big blue eyes of this beautiful cat.
Just like me, it was lonely. It has no one and decides that it needs no one, even when it is hurt.
"Do you feel I'll get hurt by your presence?" I muttered and succeeded in getting my hand on its head, rubbing softly. "I don't have much and I'm on my own. No one loves me or checks up on me so even if you hurt me, no one will scold you. Won't you come home with me?"