Jikirukuto: Takoyuki Arc

The whole thing was a mess, teetering on the edge of chaos. Alepou was ready to throw hands with the old man lying on the ground, her fists clenched and her expression screaming "You're about to regret your life choices." She looked like she was about to send the guy straight to the afterlife.

Yuki, sensing things were about to escalate into a WWE-level smackdown, quickly stepped in. "Alright, alright," she said, holding up her hands. "Chill out, girl. You're about to flatten this guy like a pancake. Maybe tone it down to, like... a light slap?"

Alepou shot her a glare that could cut through steel. "A slap? Really?" she scoffed. "Nah, babe. I was thinking more along the lines of splatter. Like turning his face into a pizza. Extra sauce."

Yuki sighed, already regretting her life choices. "Okay, fine. But hear me out," she said, switching tactics. "If you turn him into roadkill now, who's gonna be around to watch the drama unfold? We need an audience, girl! No witnesses means it didn't even happen."

Then she broke the 4th wall, looking directly at the audience. "Like, duh! Main characters need an audience. We're not trying to have a filler episode here, people."

Alepou paused, her brain catching up. "Witnesses, huh?" she murmured, nodding slowly. "Okay, I get it. You're right. Gotta love the replay value. It's all about the encore."

Meanwhile, the old man was still on the ground, shaking like a wet Chihuahua. "S-She's a thief!" he stammered, barely able to get the words out. "You can't trust her!" And honestly? I almost felt bad for him. Almost.

Yuki wasn't impressed. She shot him a side-eye so intense it could curdle milk. "Seriously, dude?" she muttered before addressing him. "That's the best you got? You better step up your game before she turns you into a piñata. And spoiler: no candy inside, just sadness."

Alepou's eyes lit up. "Piñata?" she said, grinning. "Don't tempt me! I love smashing those things. It's like Christmas for maniacs."

Yuki rolled her eyes, clearly the only one keeping this situation from turning into a crime scene. "Look, babe," she said, trying to reason with her. "If you go full-on splatter mode now, it's just gonna be a mess. And guess what? I'm not cleaning it up. Let's take the classy route. Think slow-cooked roast, not instant ramen."

Then she turned back to the audience, winking. "Mental games, people! We're not savages. We make them question their whole existence first."

Finally, Alepou unclenched her fists, though her smile still screamed, "You're not off the hook yet." She leaned down, flashing the old man a chilling grin. "Fine. You're safe—for now. But don't get too comfy, sugar. We'll be back."

The old man looked like he was about to faint. Full-on 'call a therapist' levels of panic.

Yuki couldn't resist a parting shot. "Congrats, dude. It's your lucky day. Usually, we charge extra for 'get out of splatter-free' cards."

Alepou's mood did a full 180. She threw an arm around Yuki, her earlier rage replaced by affection. "Thanks, babe. You always make my violent tendencies seem so much cuter. I owe you one."

Yuki smirked. "Just one? Girl, you owe me like twenty. But buy me takoyaki later, and we'll call it even."

And with that, they strolled off, leaving the terrified old man and confused bystanders in their wake. Typical. Emotional Damage? Oh, for sure.