Chapter 37: Yuki, a hikikomori adjusting to her first day at a new school in Japan, struggles with anxiety, self-consciousness, and the fear of being exposed for cheating on her entrance exam
Yuki stood at the doorway of her apartment in a daze, her school uniform still fresh but feeling foreign. She was used to staying inside—never stepping foot beyond her apartment unless absolutely necessary. But today, she had to face the outside world. The sun was already rising over Tokyo, casting a soft glow over the streets of Shibuya. The city was alive, a blur of movement, while Yuki stood frozen in place.
"Alright," she muttered to herself. "First day of school... You can do this, Yuki."
Taking a deep breath, she stepped out of her apartment building, the familiar scent of the city drifting through the air. Her apartment was tucked away in a quieter part of Shibuya, a 15-minute walk from the nearest train station, Shibuya Station itself, which was known for its massive crowds during rush hour. The chaos of the city was both intimidating and exciting. It felt like a whole different world than the quiet room she had grown used to.
She had already made a plan in her mind for the journey. Step one: Walk to the convenience store.
The small, brightly lit convenience store on the corner was her first destination. She needed something to keep her mind off the overwhelming task ahead, so she grabbed a can of iced coffee and a couple of onigiri from the shelf. As she paid for the items, she couldn't help but glance at the clock. She still had plenty of time, but she knew she couldn't keep stalling.
Yuki stepped out of the store, the hum of the city surrounding her. A few people passed by, but she kept her head low, avoiding eye contact. Her heart pounded in her chest, but it wasn't just from the nerves about school—it was the whole act of being outside, of interacting with the world.
The walk to the station felt longer than usual. As she reached the station entrance, she found herself staring at the crowd of people moving through the gates. Shibuya Station, one of the busiest in Tokyo, was an overwhelming sight. It was easy to lose herself in the crowd, but the thought of taking the train alone made her anxious.
"Okay, just get on the train. You can do this," she whispered to herself.
She shuffled toward the platform, the sound of train announcements filling the air. A few schoolgirls were chatting excitedly, their uniforms perfectly neat, while businessmen in suits checked their phones. The train was crowded, but that wasn't the worst of it. The real problem was the feeling that eyes were on her.
Her body, curves and all, felt like it was drawing attention. She adjusted her skirt nervously, hoping no one would notice. But then it hit her—what if someone did notice? What if there was a pervert on the train?
Her heart raced as she stepped onto the packed train, trying to stay as far away from anyone as possible. She instinctively pulled her jacket closer to her chest, as if that would shield her from unwanted attention. The train rattled on as it passed through the busy districts of Tokyo, heading towards Kamiyama International High School.
Yuki couldn't shake the thought of someone touching her or saying something inappropriate. Her mind was racing with worst-case scenarios, and she fought the urge to shrink back into her own thoughts. She had heard stories—Tokyo's crowded trains were infamous for things like that. What if someone tried something?
Her hands clenched tightly around her bag, and her eyes darted nervously between the other passengers. She knew she had to be vigilant. Even with all the noise and movement around her, she felt utterly exposed.
As the train approached her stop, Yuki's nerves were starting to get the better of her. The bell rang as the doors slid open, and she rushed off, barely taking notice of the people around her.
When she arrived at Kamiyama International High School, she was a bundle of nerves. The school grounds were huge, the buildings towering over her as she approached. This was it—her first day in a new country, at a new school, with no friends.
The entrance exam had been online, which was how she'd managed to apply from California, but now she was worried. Did she pass? She hadn't really studied, had she? She had... sort of cheated on the exam, mostly guessing, but she'd managed to get a passing score. Would they find out? Would they catch her?
Her heart sank as she walked through the gates and into the crowded hallways. The students had already gathered around the announcement board, waiting for the results to be posted.
She stood off to the side, unsure of where to go. The crowd of excited students murmured and fidgeted as they scanned the notice board. Yuki felt out of place, her heart pounding as she looked for the right time to approach.
"I... I don't want to go near there yet," she muttered to herself, glancing around. The hallway was packed, and she didn't want to be near so many people. If she did go to check the results now, someone might recognize her, or worse—someone might see her name on the list and ask her questions she couldn't answer.
So, Yuki waited, staying out of the crowd, hoping that the chaos would die down before she had to face the reality of the results. She hoped her secret would stay safe for just a little longer.