Lost

I blinked while listening calmly to Jung Woojin’s words, spoken with a steady tone.“I think I used to do drugs and sleep with different people, but at some point, that person started fighting with the people I slept with. I just left it alone. Then, a lot of time passed, and I thought it might be okay to see Sunbae again. Thinking that I didn’t like you as much as I used to, I felt relieved and decided to see you one last time, so I went to school. I really didn’t know. The days passed over and over, but it was only like that for me.”“…”“It had only been two days since I last saw Sunbae. That was my limit.”Jung Woojin covered his face with his large hands.“It was five years ago. After that, it never happened again. Really. Please believe me.”Even while trembling, Jung Woojin never cried until the end. I quietly stared at him. I had so many questions. Had Choi Woohyuk been looking for you for five years? Unable to forget sex with a mere nineteen or twenty-year-old? Not just the sex, but even if there were emotions involved, five years was still not a short amount of time.As I was thinking this, Jung Woojin, as if reading my thoughts, began explaining things I hadn’t even asked.“I went to the bar because we’ve known each other since childhood. Our parents know each other, so we occasionally met, but nothing happened. Since he runs a gay bar, if we met, it was there, and if someone else came along and asked to hang out, I’d give them money. After all, the only thing I had was money, and that way, they’d leave quickly.”“…”“Choi Woohyuk met the people I gave money to and fought with them. About a year or two ago, he said if he saw me again, he’d kill me, but I never imagined he’d actually be working there. I swear.”I laughed. When I let out a small chuckle, Jung Woojin lifted his head.“You’ve got plenty of money.”“…”“And you’re good at sex.”“…”“So he followed you around for five years?”Am I really supposed to believe that? It was absurd.“You’ve slept around since then, haven’t you?”“No.”“The last time you slept with someone was five years ago?”“Really, it’s the truth…”“I don’t believe you.”I shook my head firmly. Jung Woojin’s face was filled with near-despair. I suddenly shouted, almost as a reflex.“Even so, how could it be for five years…!”I trailed off mid-sentence.Suddenly, it felt like a stone had hit me, bringing me back to reality.Jung Woojin had met Choi Woohyuk instead of me. Slept with him, gave him money, took care of everything for him just as he was doing for me now. I couldn’t even close my gaping mouth, covering it with my hand.My vision wavered. I couldn’t believe it. Five years? Five years? Choi Woohyuk had been with Jung Woojin for a year. I hadn’t even been with him for a full year yet. If I broke up with him now, would I chase his traces for the next five years like Choi Woohyuk? No, maybe it would take me even longer than five years to forget him. It made sense that Choi Woohyuk couldn’t forget him. Because Jung Woojin had treated him just the way he’s treating me…“Did you do the same with Choi Woohyuk back then?”The way you treated me? Did you do the same with others? Before me?Jung Woojin, still covering his face with his hands, answered.“…Yes.”“…”I wanted to kill that bastard. And Jung Woojin too.I stared at him quietly for a while before turning to look out the window. It was so dark that I couldn’t make out the scenery.“Jung Woojin.”My voice sounded unnaturally calm, even to myself.“Woojin, I thought that if we just…”My throat tightened. I had been fine just moments ago.“I thought that if we both tried, things would get better. You and I, we could… I thought, sure, we’d fight a lot, but after enough time passed, we’d be okay.”Vaguely, thoughtlessly, I believed that. I never once considered that our future could be hopeless. I just thought we’d go on living like this—fighting, crying, but still living. Breaking up, getting back together, repeating those words like it was nothing, but just continuing to live like this.I only realized it now.Jung Woojin didn’t even bother to say the usual “I’m sorry.” He didn’t say he was wrong, didn’t call my name to explain it was all a misunderstanding. That drove me even crazier.“What is this?”I laughed. Even though I asked while laughing, Jung Woojin didn’t say a word.“Huh? What the hell is this?”“…”“Did you treat me like that for this? In the end, all of that was just for this….”I couldn’t finish my sentence. I wanted to say that I was in so much pain, that I was so hurt, that it was too much to bear. But Choi Woohyuk kept popping into my mind.“Choi Woohyuk.”I took a short breath and spoke.“Where is Choi Woohyuk?”Jung Woojin stayed silent. Honestly, I didn’t want to see him at all at that moment. I thought he’d stop me when I opened the car door to get out, but even as the door closed, Jung Woojin didn’t move an inch. I took a deep breath. The cold night air filled my lungs. The heavy, bloody air was expelled, and as the fresh air entered, my head cleared a bit.I have to meet Choi Woohyuk. I need to talk to him. I’m not sure what I’ll say exactly, but I have to meet him. Meet him… and then what? No, still, I need to meet him.But what am I going to say to him?I don’t know.I really don’t know.But I couldn’t just stay like this. I had to do something, anything. Otherwise, I felt like I wouldn’t survive.I went down the road and hailed a taxi from the main street. On the way, I thought hard about what I should say, but my mind was so blank that nothing came to me.When I arrived at the bar, I didn’t take the elevator but used the staff entrance through the underground parking lot. I opened the door with a creak, revealing the storage room. As I went further inside, I heard voices, though I couldn’t make out what they were saying.“…so, I….”The bar owner spotted me and widened his eyes in surprise. It seemed like he was on the phone. He dropped his phone in shock. As I turned my head, I saw Youngwoo hyung cleaning up the hall, which looked like a battlefield. Choi Woohyuk was nowhere to be seen. Suddenly, I remembered the image of Jung Woojin covered in blood when he had shown up before.“Boss.”At my words, the owner flinched. Youngwoo hyung put down the broom he was holding on the sofa and straightened up. Then he came over to me and asked,“What brings you here?”His tone and voice were as gentle as always. Suddenly, my chest tightened—or rather, my stomach churned. I hurriedly covered my mouth and ran to the bathroom. I heard Youngwoo hyung calling out to me from behind. With a clatter, I rushed into the bathroom, too desperate even to make it to the toilet, and vomited into the sink. Since I hadn’t eaten anything, nothing came out. I was gasping for air when Youngwoo hyung followed me.“Are you okay?”I wanted to say I was fine, seeing the concerned look on his face, but then I noticed someone standing nearby. Choi Woohyuk was huddled in the corner, looking at me like he’d seen a ghost, holding a bloodstained gauze.I stared at him for a moment before leaving the bathroom. I found a somewhat clean corner, sat on the sofa, and Youngwoo hyung brought me a glass of cold ice water. He handed it to me and sat across from me.“Are you feeling a little calmer?”“…”I just stared at him. I didn’t understand why he was acting like nothing was wrong. What was he hiding? As I was thinking this, Youngwoo hyung smiled.“You’re dating Jung Woojin, aren’t you?”“…”“I’m sorry I didn’t know. We were really harsh. Saying sorry won’t fix things, but still, I’m sorry.”“…”“It might sound like an excuse, but there have always been a lot of obsessive people around.”Obsessive. Yeah, now that I think about it, that’s true. It wasn’t just Choi Woohyuk who was looking for Jung Woojin. I laughed bitterly and muttered to myself,“Of course. Who wouldn’t be after someone who acts like they’d give their heart and soul for them?”I clenched my fists as I thought about the way Jung Woojin had treated me. I knew this wasn’t Youngwoo hyung’s fault, but I couldn’t help but feel a growing sense of resentment. Right now, I just wanted to blame someone. I wanted to lash out, curse, and hit anyone, saying it was all their fault.“I thought Jung Woojin had beaten everyone so badly they’d be in the hospital.”Even at my cold, cutting words, Youngwoo hyung didn’t get angry.“We weren’t hit. Neither me, nor the boss, nor Woohyuk.”“…”“I thought he would hit us, but he didn’t. He just smashed up the bar….”“What about Choi Woohyuk?”At my hoarse question, Youngwoo hyung looked uncomfortable.“What did he say to Choi Woohyuk?”I stared at him without blinking as I asked. I wondered if I was going through the same process of madness that Jung Woojin had experienced since childhood. I felt like I was going to lose my mind.Just then, Choi Woohyuk came out of the bathroom. His hair was wet, probably from washing his face. As I glared at him, he glared back with a fierce expression. That bastard—I wanted to kill him so badly I could hardly contain myself.“What are you looking at, you son of a bitch?”Choi Woohyuk cursed through gritted teeth.“Choi Woohyuk, are you going to stop or what?”The bar owner growled. Choi Woohyuk, still panting with anger, approached me and suddenly said,“Jung Woojin told me that if he ever showed up in front of you again, he’d gouge my eyes out. So, is Jung Woojin coming to gouge my eyes out soon?”“You were dating Jung Woojin, right? Five years ago.”“Fuck.”At my question, Choi Woohyuk swore. He clenched his fists, looking like he was about to explode, and ground his teeth furiously.“Did we date? Who said that? Me and Jung Woojin? Who said that? F＊ ＊ ＊, did Jung Woojin say that?”“……”“Was that dating? Haha, I had no idea.”What was he talking about now? I frowned and asked.“Didn’t Jung Woojin treat you really well?”If he treated Choi Woohyuk the same way he treated me, then saying he treated him “well” wouldn’t even begin to describe it. He must’ve given him everything—his heart, his soul, doing anything he asked. How Jung Woojin looked at me, the tone of his voice, the way he treated me… how could that be the same?My eyes started to burn. I couldn’t stand it. I was furious, irritated, and consumed with jealousy, my entire body trembling. How could Jung Woojin—after all he’d done for me—do the same for him?“Treat me well?”Choi Woohyuk suddenly went serious and said,“Oh, you mean because he always picked up my calls?”I frowned and stared at him, then asked,“What?”“Is that what you’re talking about? Haha, f＊ ＊ ＊, that’s ridiculous. Yeah, he treated me real well. The only difference with me was that Jung Woojin always picked up my calls. I fell for that, like an idiot… thinking I was special.”Choi Woohyuk suddenly started crying.“……”What the hell?I was so taken aback that I instinctively stepped back. Seeing his swollen, tear-streaked face made me feel an odd sense of pity.“Fuck, this is so absurd… ‘treated me well’? ‘Dating’? That bastard…”Choi Woohyuk kept cursing under his breath as he cried, and something felt off, so I asked,“Didn’t you two sleep together?”“What?”“You said you slept together, recently.”At my words, Choi Woohyuk scoffed.“Did you really believe that, you idiot?”Ignoring his mocking tone, I asked again,“Then why were you looking for Jung Woojin?”Even if they hadn’t slept together recently, the fact that Jung Woojin’s words and Choi Woohyuk’s story didn’t match was something I could think about later.What I was most curious about was why, regardless of what happened in the past, Choi Woohyuk was still searching for Jung Woojin. Just a little while ago, I thought, “Yeah, maybe it’s understandable since Jung Woojin treated him so well,” but after hearing Choi Woohyuk’s words, even that didn’t seem to hold up.“Jung Woojin…”Choi Woohyuk began to speak.“I wanted to see how well he’s doing.”“……”“I wanted to see for myself how that bastard was living his life.”Watching Choi Woohyuk shout, I suddenly felt a sharp pain in the back of my head. Anyone would think he was some tragic heroine. I was so dumbfounded that I couldn’t even think of a response.I didn’t want to stay there anymore, nor did I want to listen to this melodrama. As I stood up from the sofa, Choi Woohyuk quickly lifted his head. His narrow eyes flashed with a fierce expression, like a wild animal.“You…”I didn’t want to talk to him any longer. Brushing off the dust and glass shards from my clothes, I said,“Tell your gay friends that Jung Woojin is mine.”“What?”“Even if I don’t keep him, I’m not giving him to you guys.”“What did you say?”“And, boss.”I gritted my teeth and forced a smile. The boss, who had been so confident earlier, now stood there awkwardly, his expression one of clear frustration.“We should meet again tomorrow or the day after. I need to settle my pay for the few days I worked.”“Your account…”“And you need to replace my phone, too.”The boss’s face clearly displayed the words, “Why is this my problem?” But I didn’t care. I walked past them and out of the bar. Before leaving, I gave a slight nod to Yeongu-hyung, who was looking at me with a complicated expression.When I caught a taxi and returned to the apartment, Jung Woojin was still sitting in the car exactly as he was when I left, slumped over the steering wheel, not moving. He looked like he might be asleep.Choi Woohyuk’s tearful face flashed in my mind. From his words, it didn’t seem like they had really dated or that Jung Woojin had treated him so well… Was he really this upset just because Jung Woojin answered his calls? Regardless, I wasn’t going to let this slide like I usually did. I didn’t want to become soft if I saw Jung Woojin’s tear-streaked face, so I turned my eyes away and opened the car door. I heard a rustling sound from beside me. It felt like Jung Woojin was watching me. Without looking at him, I said,“Give me your phone.”I reached out my hand, but there was no response. I had a feeling that Jung Woojin was just staring blankly at my hand. For a second, I thought about looking at him, but then a phone was lightly placed in my palm. I snatched it up quickly, and as I looked at the screen, something slick smeared on my hand.I tilted my head, puzzled, as I turned on the phone. The screen was smeared red. Instinctively, I turned my head, but it was too dark to see clearly. I quickly turned on the flashlight and shone it on Jung Woojin’s face. Squinting at the brightness, he raised his hand. His white dress shirt, rolled up to his elbows, was soaked with blood, and dried blood clung to his pale skin. His hands, fingers, and palms were a bloody mess.＊ ＊ ＊I dragged Jung Woojin out and, holding onto his arm, got into a taxi. I don’t even know how we made it to the hospital. My mind was a mess. After getting him to the hospital and catching my breath, I realized my clothes were stained with blood. My hands, arms, and chest were all covered in dried red stains. I went to the hospital bathroom, quickly wiped off the blood, and looked in the mirror. My face was pale and drained. I felt dizzy. I wanted nothing more than to take a hot shower and sleep for hours, just like I used to in that big, white bed. My legs gave out, and I sat there for a long time before finally heading back out.They tried to stitch up his wounds, but the cuts were so deep that it wasn’t easy. In the end, they just stitched it up as best as they could and wrapped it in bandages. They said there would likely be a big scar.When I returned to the hospital room, Jung Woojin, who I thought would be asleep, was wide awake. The doctor had said he’d be out cold, but there he was.“Sunbae.”Jung Woojin sat up with an expressionless face. There was none of the usual pitiful look, no tears. It was just a blank face, unreadable. I watched him quietly for a moment before reaching out and taking his phone. I wiped off the bloodstains with my sleeve and searched through his contacts. All he had saved were his parents, the studio, and “Hyung.”“…”Wait, Hyung? Who’s Hyung? Does he have a brother? I thought as I checked the number.“…”It was my number.I looked up and stared at Jung Woojin. He lowered his head like a scolded puppy, but his face was still emotionless. As I watched his beaten-down expression, I pointed at the screen and asked.“This is the boss’s number, right?”“…”His face, which had been expressionless, darkened with a dangerous glint. Jung Woojin glared at me, his eyes quickly turning red.“Your phone’s broken. It’s the boss’s fault, so tomorrow I’ll meet him and make him buy you a new one. And I’ll collect the pay for the few days you worked…”“I don’t want that.”“Even if you don’t, it’s out of your hands.”At my calm response, Jung Woojin’s body tensed up. Blood started to flow back into the IV line. The doctor had said he’d needed a transfusion from the blood loss earlier. I debated calling for the doctor but instead just stepped back. I could see him struggling to stand, though he wobbled, he managed to steady himself.“You stay here.”“Wait a moment.”“Don’t follow me.”“Sunbae, don’t go…!”The door slammed shut. I expected it to open again, but surprisingly, it stayed closed. After standing there for a while, I left the hospital. I wasn’t as angry as I had been earlier, but it wasn’t entirely gone either. Honestly, if Jung Woojin had cried and clung to me, apologizing like usual, I probably would’ve let it go right there.But he didn’t. In fact, I was relieved. This time, I wanted to express my anger too. My mind was still confused, and there were too many things I hadn’t sorted out. I had gone to Choi Woohyuk to ask about everything that had happened, but his melodramatic act as a tragic heroine was too much for me, so I’d just left. I decided that tomorrow I’d meet with the boss and get all the answers. What had Jung Woojin been like in high school? What was he like when he frequented the gay bars? And when the sun sets, I’d go pick up Jung Woojin from the hospital.But my plans went completely awry.Seven hours after I got home, the hospital called. Jung Woojin had overdosed on sleeping pills and was undergoing a gastric lavage.I felt like I was going to lose my mind. Like a madwoman running in the night, I dashed to the hospital, not even properly putting on my shoes. When I arrived, they told me that he was half-conscious, lying there. The doctor mentioned that he probably had sleeping pills among his personal belongings. I stayed awake the whole night, unable to sleep, glaring at Jung Woojin like I wanted to kill him. Then, worried he might actually be dead, I reached out and placed my finger under his nose to check his breathing. His skin was cold, like a corpse. I noticed his lips were chapped and cracked. His arms were thickly bandaged, and his sweat-soaked hair stabbed into my heart like a blade.Even when morning came, Jung Woojin hadn’t regained consciousness. The doctor said he would wake up soon, but for now, all he did was breathe heavily. I couldn’t figure out what kind of dream he might be having to look like that even in sleep.I called the boss from Jung Woojin’s phone, setting up a meeting an hour later. Just in case, I scribbled something on a Post-it note.[Wait.]After writing it, I stared at the note for a long time, wondering what Jung Woojin would think when he saw it. Would he wait for me like he did in that snowy mountain? Or would he, not trusting me, go looking for me? Maybe he’d think, “I’ve already been abandoned once, so what’s the harm in being abandoned again?”I stuck the Post-it to the bedside table and stood up.＊ ＊ ＊The boss flinched when he saw my disheveled state. Ignoring him, I followed him into the phone store and asked for the most expensive phone and the priciest phone case. When they said the case was free, I threw a tantrum, asking if I looked like a beggar, and insisted on paying for everything without a discount. I even whispered that they could charge me an extra 300,000 won if they wanted. I don’t know if they ripped me off or not.Afterward, we activated the phone and went to a nearby café.“When did you first meet Jung Woojin?”“Around middle school.”“Was he gay back then?”“Jung Woojin wasn’t gay. He just slept with men for a while, that’s all.”Isn’t that the same thing? I grumbled, and the boss frowned. He then shared a lot of stories.Jung Woojin started to act strange when he reached high school. He frequently talked to himself and had such intense mood swings that he could hardly function in society. Eventually, he dropped out of school and received private tutoring at home. The boss said that there were several instances where Jung Woojin almost killed his tutor with a pen. Then, when he turned eighteen, it was like a switch flipped. His personality completely changed, as if his brain had been swapped. He became an honor student, turning from the family’s outcast to its pride. He never missed first place in any exam and was always at the top. He became so sociable that people flocked to him.The boss said that when he first saw Jung Woojin at the gay bar, he couldn’t believe his eyes. Woojin was slumped on a couch like a lifeless doll, letting people do whatever they wanted, and Choi Woohyuk was on top of him.“Jesus, that’s not a gay bar; that’s a sleazy den.”“They’re all like that.”“The hell they are…”Woojin started going to the bar every day without fail. His partners changed not just daily but every couple of hours. Choi Woohyuk tried his best to protect him, but there were limits. A few months later, things went south.Woojin started doing drugs and participating in orgies. The boss said someone even died there.“Jesus Christ… Was it from doing too many drugs?”“No, sudden death.”Damn it.Anyway, after that, rumors about Jung Woojin grew and grew, piling on more falsehoods until the lies became the truth. Even while working as a model, he was so elusive that spotting a single strand of his hair was rare, turning him into something of a legend. Basically, Jung Woojin had become a hot topic of gossip whenever people drank. For whatever reason, Jung Woojin was still a legend at that gay bar. Damn it.“He was special to Choi Woohyuk. Even I could see that.”“Of course, damn it. Something must’ve been going on between them, right?”The boss answered my question with a serious look.“They were able to stay in touch well.”“……”“Out of ten tries, they connected about six times.”“……”The boss twitched his eyebrows as he saw my incredulous expression. I frowned and asked, “Is that really the answer?”The boss nodded. Damn it. I checked the time. I hadn’t done much, but it was already past 3 p.m.“What happened to that bar? Isn’t it wrecked and needs repairs?”“Jung Woojin will pay for it.”I couldn’t help but laugh at the boss’s confident statement.“Why are you asking Jung Woojin for the money? Who pissed him off first?”“That kid’s rich…”“Just because he’s rich, did you ever contribute anything to him?”When I glared at him, the boss scowled. Suddenly, anger welled up inside me.“Has Woojin been throwing his money around?”“He doesn’t throw it around, but when he wants to avoid trouble, he usually resolves it with money.”A bad feeling crept up on me. I frowned and asked, “For example?”“If someone sticks to him, it’s a hassle, so he gives them his card. And the people who get the card…”“……”“They usually buy cars, clothes, shoes, watches…”This damn fool. What a naive sucker.I shot up from my chair. I couldn’t just sit there anymore.“Anyway, let’s not meet again. And don’t contact Jung Woojin!”I shouted and stormed out of the café, immediately hailing a taxi to the hospital.I was anxious because I was running later than expected. I bit my lip and tapped my feet nervously until I arrived at the hospital, feeling like those few minutes lasted for years.Grumbling to myself, I checked the time upon reaching the room—it was almost 5 p.m. With a deep sigh, I stepped out of the elevator and walked down the hallway. Since it was a private room, it was very quiet. I hurried my steps, hearing my own footsteps echo. I had been thinking about what I wanted to say as soon as I saw Jung Woojin, so I turned the corner with those words in mind.Jung Woojin was sitting crouched in front of the door. The long IV line, the bandages wrapped around his arms, the pale feet, the jet-black hair—all of it. He had his face buried between his knees. I watched him from afar, and suddenly, I felt a chill.Maybe, on that snowy winter night, young Jung Woojin had been waiting for me like this too.With a heavy heart, I walked toward him. My heartbeat grew louder with each step. As I approached, I saw Jung Woojin slowly lift his head. His pale face turned toward me, and though I expected him to be crying, he wasn’t. His face, tense and guarded, was full of unease. As his expression twisted with disbelief, he took a step toward me, as if about to run, and finally burst into tears.But Jung Woojin didn’t even manage to take that step before he collapsed forward with a loud thud. I gasped and rushed toward him in shock.“Hey!”I checked to see if his bandaged arms were okay or if the IV line had gotten tangled. Jung Woojin reached out, grabbed me around the waist, and clung to me, silently sobbing. It was only when my hand rested on his back that he finally started calling my name. He kept crying, even as the nurse came over to see if something was wrong. And though I’ll take this secret to my grave, I cried a little too.After much effort, I managed to get Jung Woojin back into his bed. He looked like a sickly person before, but now, with his swollen, red eyes from all the crying and drenched in sweat, he looked like a war refugee. I almost teased him for looking so ugly but swallowed the words, fearing he’d say something like he’d hang himself.“You’ll be alone at home anyway, so just stay in the hospital for a few days.”Jung Woojin shook his head, clearly not liking the idea, and opened his mouth to protest.“Hiccup!”“……”This crazy bastard, really. Always pulling something. I sighed as I watched him cover his mouth with both hands, trying to suppress his hiccups.“Don’t show your face to me again until the doctor says you’re completely healthy. I’m not coming back after today. If you want to get better quickly, eat well, sleep well, and only think happy thoughts. Endorphins will help you recover faster.”“I’m fine now—hic!”“If you try to bribe the doctor for a clean bill of health, I swear you’ll die by my hand.”As I stood up to leave, Jung Woojin tried to get up as well. I looked down at him with a stern face and said, “You’re not going anywhere.”I finally said the words I had been dying to say since I arrived. Hearing me, Jung Woojin’s eyes widened.“I’m staying home.”“……”“I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be there.”The more I spoke, the more tears streamed down his pale cheeks.“I’ll wait for you. When you’re better, come to me.”Watching Jung Woojin sobbing made me feel awkward, as did the words I had just said. I started to turn away but then remembered something and added, “When you’re discharged, dress up in the prettiest clothes and bring a passport photo.”“What?”Jung Woojin, still sniffing, asked with a puzzled expression. I sighed and turned my back on him.“Don’t follow me. And if I get one more call about you being sick, I’ll kill you.”With that teary-eyed face as my last sight of him, I left the hospital room.＊ ＊ ＊The next morning, I woke up to the sound of a text message.Fumbling, I reached for my phone and groggily opened the message. There was a photo.An empty bowl.“……”What’s this? Who the hell is messing with me this early in the morning? I tossed my phone aside and tried to go back to sleep, but another message came through. I ignored it, but then—ding dong. Ding dong. Ding dong. Ding dong.“Damn it, seriously!”I jumped out of bed and checked my phone. It was the same number as before. What the hell? I opened the message, puzzled.The first photo was of the empty bowl, and then in order: a small flowerpot on a windowsill, a bandaged hand, a bright blue sky, and finally, a slightly dazed, goofy selfie of Jung Woojin.“……”There were no words. I looked through the photos again, thinking hard.The empty bowl probably meant he was eating well. The bandaged hand looked less swollen than yesterday, so he was showing me he was healing. His complexion had also improved, even though his expression was a bit dimwitted. But what did the flowerpot and the sky mean? As I pondered this, another message came through.