Love Me More

Chapter 19

Kwon Yuwon’s words were entirely true. Alphas were inherently promiscuous, with no regard for chastity. The man before him was a prime example. But thinking about it calmly, Si-yul wondered what right he had to judge grown adults who consensually engaged in physical relationships.

What business was it of his who Woo Hyun-se spent his rut with or chose as a partner?

“…Never mind, then.”

Si-yul mumbled, deflated, hunching his previously straight neck. At this point, he didn’t know why he was even sitting in the same space as Woo Hyun-se. Thinking he was just wasting time, Si-yul was about to quietly stand up. Woo Hyun-se’s hand reached across the table and grabbed Si-yul’s wrist.

His fingers crept inside Si-yul’s sleeve. He touched Si-yul’s wrist bone with his fingertips and slowly caressed it.

“I’ll take you home.”

It was hot, like fire flickering across his skin. He should pull his hand away, but his arm wouldn’t move.

“I didn’t drink today. What I had earlier was non-alcoholic.”

Woo Hyun-se preemptively cut off any mention of a designated driver. Si-yul closed his mouth, which had been open like a bird’s beak. Why was he hesitating when he could just refuse and end it? He turned his head abruptly, hiding his conflicted feelings.

“Then just this once, take me home… For the last time.”

It was just because it was too cold to walk, no other reason. Si-yul clenched his fist and twisted his wrist to pull it free.

Woo Hyun-se’s firm fingertips brushed over Si-yul’s curled fingers. A beat slower, as if reluctant.

Si-yul lay sprawled out, holding his hand up to eye level and staring at it blankly. In the warm room air, wearing a short-sleeved shirt, his wrist bone was clearly visible. It was an ordinary wrist with no particular features. The prominent wrist bone, knuckles, and calloused fingers had nothing that could be called beautiful upon close inspection. At best, the fair, unblemished skin was somewhat presentable.

He stretched his hand towards the fluorescent light and grasped at the air. Woo Hyun-se had held this wrist. His hand had been large and generous, like a pot lid. It was hot, as if warmed by a long fire, and his grip had been strong. He hadn’t twisted it. He had just held it, pushing his fingers into the sleeve to touch the wrist bone.

Though it had been a simple act of restraint, the heat still seemed engraved on his wrist. Feeling flushed, Si-yul turned to his side, pulling his arm close to his body.

As if an invisible handprint had been left, he fiddled with his wrist with his other hand, then brought the tip of his nose to it. As if Woo Hyun-se’s scent still lingered on his skin. His eyelashes fluttered and then settled.

“…Eek!”

Startled by his own actions, he quickly pulled his hand away and shook it in the air. After shaking his hand as if to detach it from his wrist, he cursed, “Ah, crazy,” “Ah, shit,” and buried his face in his pillow. Though there were no witnesses, he felt ashamed and kicked at the soft blanket with his long legs.

The sound of the door suddenly opening interrupted Si-yul’s foolishness. He flinched and raised his head. Kwon Yuwon looked him up and down as he lay there stiffly. His gaze was sharp, like a detective examining a prime suspect. Or perhaps it just seemed that way because of his upturned, cat-like eyes.

“Why are you so startled? Were you jerking off?”

“Ah, crazy… Why would you think I was jerking off?”

“You’re looking around with big eyes like a mouse caught stealing. Like this.”

Yuwon grinned, widening his eyes with his thumb and index finger. Annoyed at being teased, Si-yul threw the pillow he was hugging. Yuwon caught it in mid-air. He hugged it tightly, then suddenly buried his nose in it. He sniffed it like a hunting dog.

“What’s wrong?”

“What’s this?”

He tilted his head, sniffed again, and looked at Si-yul with unsettling eyes. He quickly approached Si-yul, who was trying to lean back, grabbed him, and buried his nose in Si-yul’s cheek and ear, inhaling deeply. Even as Si-yul tried to push him away, asking what he was doing, Yuwon held firm.

“What’s wrong with you today, you crazy bastard? Did you eat something weird?”

Yuwon closed his mouth, pulled at Si-yul’s clothes to check the smell, then suddenly raised his head. A chilling light gleamed in his eyes.

“Did you meet an alpha?”

“What are you talking about?”

Si-yul pulled his clothes to his nose. There was only the savory smell of fried food from the bar and a faint scent of fabric softener. Even if pheromones had rubbed off on him, how would he, a beta, know? Si-yul tried to hide his unease and feigned innocence.

“I smell an alpha. Who left their pheromones on you?”

“Can omegas distinguish alpha and omega smells?”

“Don’t change the subject. What the hell? Why do you smell like this?”

Yuwon interrogated Si-yul like a husband who had caught evidence of an affair. He grabbed Si-yul’s collar and shook him back and forth. His head rattling, Si-yul groaned and grabbed Yuwon’s wrists to stop him.

“No, there must have been an alpha customer at the bar! I’m a beta, how would I know if an alpha left their scent or if it just rubbed off in passing? Ah, stop shaking me. I feel like I’m going to throw up.”

Mixing in half-truths with his whining, Yuwon let go, though he still looked suspicious. He didn’t seem completely convinced.

“It wouldn’t linger like this from just brushing past. It means you were either in a confined space together or he grabbed you… Does that bar you work at allow touching?”

Yuwon was indeed sharp. He might make a good detective someday. Making a mental note to suggest he prepare for the police exam if he got the chance, Si-yul raised his voice angrily, like someone falsely accused.

“Ah, there’s nothing like that. We probably just brushed past each other when taking an order. And even if I smell like an alpha, what does it matter? I can’t even smell it myself.”

“That’s true, but…”

“Stop saying weird things and go wash up first, okay? You smell strongly of food and it’s making me hungry. Come out quickly so we can have a late-night snack. I’ll go to the convenience store.”

Yuwon still looked doubtful until the end. Si-yul pushed Yuwon’s back, who was inhaling deeply, into the bathroom and left the inn.

He ran to the convenience store and bought a pheromone deodorizer first. He didn’t spray it right away. It would only raise more suspicion if he suddenly got rid of the smell. He filled his basket with other snacks, placed them on the counter, and while the clerk was ringing them up, he pulled his sleeve to his nose.

“…”

No matter how much he sniffed, he couldn’t smell anything other than the scent from the bar. Si-yul exhaled through his nose and rubbed the tip. Somehow, his mood had sunk.

Si-yul bought an armful of late-night snacks: cup noodles, sausages, chips, ice cream, instant fried rice, and dumplings. They were hungry youths. Though past their teens when they could eat iron, their appetites were still large. Yuwon, in particular, ate ravenously.

Si-yul finished his portion and watched contentedly. This spending was possible because Woo Hyun-se had generously left his first paycheck untouched.

Yuwon, clean from his shower and full from eating, had calmed down considerably. He lay on his side like a reclining Buddha, flipping through TV channels and scratching his protruding belly. Though pretty in appearance, his actions were no different from a manual laborer at a construction site.

“You’ll turn into a cow if you lie down right after eating. Sit up.”

“Being a cow would be nice. Just grazing on grass without having to work.”

“What if you get dragged to the slaughterhouse?”

Despite trying to make him sit up, Yuwon just giggled without taking his eyes off the TV. Si-yul glanced at him and popped the remaining snacks into his mouth. While chewing, he casually brought up the topic.

“About that pheromone smell… Can all alphas and omegas smell it?”

“Yeah.”

“Do all the smells differ? What do you smell like?”

Yuwon glanced at him and opened his mouth like a baby bird. Si-yul tossed him a snack, which he quickly caught and ate.

“They say I smell like oranges.”

“Are there bad smells among them?”

“Sometimes among alpha bastards. But most are okay. Tolerable.”

Si-yul offered snacks to Yuwon’s mouth while carefully observing him. Fortunately, Yuwon didn’t seem to notice anything strange about their current conversation.

“Yuwon, what did the smell on me earlier smell like?”

Yuwon’s chewing jaw paused. He looked at Si-yul with sharp, upturned eyes.

“Why are you curious about that?”

“No, it’s just that I can’t smell it myself. If it’s unpleasant, it might bother other customers. I want to avoid that customer if they come again. What if it smells like fishy odor?”

Si-yul lied nonchalantly. Seeing his attitude of not being particularly interested, Yuwon quickly dropped his suspicion.

“…No. Objectively, the scent is nice. It’s hard to describe… Ah, it’s exactly this kind of atmosphere.”

After pondering deeply, Yuwon snapped his fingers and pointed at the TV. It was a travel program. A forest covered in white snow, bare white birch trees pointing their sharp branches towards the dark gray sky.

“A scent like that?”

“Yeah. Quiet and cold? It smells like trees too. It’s quite strong. Unpleasantly so.”

Yuwon furrowed his brow, seemingly irritated just by recalling it. Sensing that asking more might provoke him, Si-yul closed his mouth.

He couldn’t quite understand what a scent like a birch forest would be like. Assuming it might be similar to the lonely, chilly winter sea scent he had once smelled in that embrace, Si-yul overlaid the scent his nose had detected onto the unknown pheromone scent. As he brushed off snack crumbs, he also brushed away the desire to know if there might be a commercially available perfume with a similar scent.