Love Me More

Chapter 26

Not a single person was to his liking. If their build was decent, their appearance was lacking, and even if their looks were fine, there was always something that didn’t meet his standards. Either their eyes looked petty, or their lips were thin like a sycophant’s, or their eyebrows were shaped like seagulls.

The tension quickly dissipated. Two empty bottles were already in front of Si-yul. He was just about to order a third beer.

“You’ve been rejecting everyone so far.”

He didn’t even bother with greetings anymore. Si-yul turned around, wondering who it was this time. Standing behind Si-yul’s shoulder was perhaps the best-looking person he had encountered so far. His appearance was handsome, he was tall, and his proportions weren’t bad. Upon closer inspection, his long, slightly downturned eyes seemed to resemble Woo Hyun-se’s.

“May I sit next to you?”

“Sure.”

But he wasn’t completely satisfied. A sense of doubt was starting to creep in. He began to regret why he was sitting here in the first place. If he had known it would be like this, he should have just gone out when Woo Hyun-se asked to meet.

As he tortured his eyes looking at the deep-sea creatures and kept drinking, questions arose in his mind. Was this the right path? Was this choice he made really the only way to shed his novice status? It wasn’t too late. He could give up and go back…

“You’re at a club but not dancing. This isn’t really the atmosphere to just drink. May I ask why you came?”

The man sitting next to him cut through Si-yul’s chain of doubts. Si-yul remembered his original purpose for coming here.

“I came to find someone.”

The man looked around. “Did you find them?” he asked.

“Someone to sleep with,” Si-yul whispered, cupping his hand around his mouth, not confident enough to speak loudly. The man, who managed to understand, raised his eyebrows. Even that action reminded Si-yul of Woo Hyun-se. Maybe this man would be okay.

“You’re honest.”

That statement particularly shook Si-yul. He wanted to be as honest as Woo Hyun-se. Si-yul downed half of his newly received beer in one go. The buzz was just right, and he was still in his right mind. It was perfect for carrying out his plan.

“Are you an alpha?”

“No, I’m a beta. … Is that a problem? Some people tend to mind.”

He had come looking for a beta in the first place. Si-yul shook his head and continued to ask.

“Do you want to sleep with me?”

“Uh… I’m not usually the type to sleep with someone I’ve just met.”

“Never mind then.”

“That wasn’t a refusal.”

Because he was a stranger with no name, age, or affiliation, Si-yul could approach him more bravely. Si-yul stood up, and the man followed suit. They would probably go to a nearby motel. Perhaps it was the alcohol, but now he felt indifferent. He just wanted to get it over with and go home to rest.

Maybe after leaving the motel, he might contact Woo Hyun-se. To tell him that now, really, it’s okay.

“Shall we go then?”

The man took the lead. Before following him, Si-yul took out his phone from his pocket. He wondered if anyone had contacted him, but there were no notifications on the screen.

Si-yul lay blankly on the bed, listening to the sound of water coming from the bathroom. Upon entering, he had pretended to be familiar with the situation and showered first. When Si-yul came out, the man gave an awkward smile and hurriedly went into the bathroom. It seemed the other party wasn’t as experienced as Si-yul either.

Did I choose wrong?

He should have found someone who could skillfully guide him. Si-yul fiddled with his phone while waiting for the man to come out. Up until researching the club, going in to drink, and dealing with people, he hadn’t thought much about it, but now that he was here, a question was growing in a corner of his mind: was this really the right method?

Isn’t everything like that? The first step is scary, but once you take it, even running becomes easy. He thought it would be the same with sex. Out of a youthful desire not to lose to Woo Hyun-se, or at least not to appear clumsy, he had made this choice. He believed that once he did it, the fear and hesitation would disappear.

But…

The sound of water stopped. The man would come out soon. Si-yul looked at the text messages he had exchanged with Woo Hyun-se before putting his phone down.

The man approached awkwardly. Only the light from the bedside lamp illuminated the room. He sat on the edge of the bed, looked at Si-yul, and slowly leaned forward. Swallowing hard, his face was visibly tense, with nervousness clearly showing.

While the atmosphere was enough to make even an observer stiff, surprisingly, Si-yul felt nothing. It was as if there was an object or an animal he wasn’t interested in front of him, not a person. He couldn’t give the man even as much attention as he would give to a stray cat.

He thought maybe it would be different if they kissed, but his mind was full of random thoughts like whether he had eaten dinner today, if Kwon Yuwon had returned home, what Woo Hyun-se might be doing, and so on. He couldn’t concentrate.

“…”

Their lips were about to brush against each other. Si-yul suddenly covered the man’s mouth with his palm. He didn’t feel like it.

“You don’t like kissing?”

The man asked, just as he had asked if being a beta was a problem. Si-yul rolled his eyes to the opposite side and reluctantly nodded. This time, the man buried his face in Si-yul’s neck. Even this didn’t evoke any sensation. It was just a feeling of someone else touching him, nothing more, nothing less.

It wasn’t like this with Woo Hyun-se. Just hearing his voice made his ears tingle, and leaning his head on him made goosebumps rise on his neck from the warmth.

The man’s lips touched the side of his neck with a soft sound. A hand tried to slip inside his robe. “Ha…” Si-yul let out a sigh, not a moan. He even felt like laughing in despair.

This wasn’t going to work.

Seeing Si-yul frozen like a statue, the man seemed to realize that the mood wasn’t right. He lowered the hand that was about to enter the robe and placed it on the bed. He straightened his upper body and awkwardly scratched the back of his head.

“I guess this isn’t working, right?”

Si-yul felt embarrassed for backing out after being the one to push for this. It wasn’t like setting the table and then taking away the spoon. Si-yul apologized sincerely, saying “I’m sorry,” and flopped back onto the bed. It’s the experienced ones who eat well, not the ones who get excited at their first sight of food.

“It’s okay. I don’t really… enjoy this kind of thing either.”

The man bowed his head deeply, ruffling his wet hair, and then, looking at Si-yul, he flopped down next to him. The bed rippled, but Si-yul just stared at the ceiling with his hands neatly folded on his stomach. He felt sleepy, but not enough to actually fall asleep, just enough to feel dazed.

“Do you often come to clubs?”

The man propped his head on his hand and turned his body slightly. He asked kindly, looking down at Si-yul.

“No. This was my first time.”

“And trying to sleep with someone you just met?”

“That too.”

“Then I guess you don’t have experience with one-night stands either, like me.”

He laughed shyly. Si-yul looked at the man too. The more he looked, the more he was reminded of Woo Hyun-se. The way his eyes crinkled when he smiled was a bit similar.

“I wasn’t originally interested in men. But somehow I ended up here. I just wanted to check it out, and then I met you.”

Their situations were similar. It was as if he had read Si-yul’s mind. Si-yul’s gaze changed, as if looking at a skilled fortune-teller. He sat up abruptly and leaned his back against the bed’s headboard. Just as he often did when chatting with Kwon Yuwon, he hugged a large pillow and stretched his legs out like a teddy bear.

“Me too. How can we be so alike? It’s fascinating.”

Perhaps because they were in the same situation, the barriers quickly broke down. Si-yul’s eyes lit up as he listened to the man’s story. He urged the other to speak more with his eyes. Before unpacking his story, the man casually asked.

“What’s your name?”

“Kwon Si-yul. And yours?”

Finally, Si-yul’s attention was fully on the man. The man beamed and answered.

“Woo Tae-joo.”

He had thought he resembled Woo Hyun-se, and even their surnames were coincidentally the same. Since everything seemed to lead back to Woo Hyun-se, Si-yul couldn’t bring himself to smile freely in response.

“I think we could become friends,” Woo Tae-joo added innocently at the end of their long conversation. They even exchanged numbers. Although Si-yul had planned to treat him like a stranger once they left the motel, plans have a way of twisting and turning on their own, showing new results.

Si-yul left the motel, leaving Woo Tae-joo behind. When Tae-joo tried to follow, Si-yul stopped him. He reasoned that since they had already paid for the room, it would be better for at least one of them to sleep comfortably.

‘It’s not a waste.’

‘Don’t waste money, just stay and sleep.’

At Si-yul’s cold response, Woo Tae-joo slumped his shoulders dejectedly and sat on the bed. When he tirelessly asked if he should give Si-yul a ride, Si-yul shook his head. Hearing such offers from Woo Hyun-se was more than enough.

They had spent nearly two hours in the motel. This should be enough to lie about having enjoyed a drinking session, right? The offer to give a ride echoed in Si-yul’s head, not in Woo Tae-joo’s voice that he had just heard, but in Woo Hyun-se’s.

Si-yul fiddled with his phone. He had already informed Kwon Yuwon that he might come home in the early morning today. The other had fallen for the excuse about having a drinking session at a bar. In reality, while he worried, he didn’t overprotect Si-yul as much as when he was younger.

Should he contact Woo Hyun-se?

It was closer to dawn than night. 2:14 AM. Around this time, he used to sit at outdoor tables of convenience stores, chatting quietly with Woo Hyun-se.