Marvel X The Boys

A dingy corner store, somewhere in the bad part of town. The bell above the door jingled faintly as a man in a blood-splattered red-and-black suit strolled in, humming an off-key version of "Oops!... I Did It Again".

"Ah, the sweet smell of capitalism and overpriced snack foods," Deadpool said, twirling his katanas before sheathing them with a flourish. "Excuse me, good sir," he called out to the terrified cashier crouching behind the counter. "Do you have any of those radioactive-blue slushies? You know, the ones that make your insides glow? Asking for a friend."

The cashier didn't answer. Probably because he was too busy hyperventilating. Or maybe it was the five bullet-ridden bodies sprawled on the store's linoleum floor.

Deadpool looked down at the mess and sighed dramatically. "Oh, come on. I only killed them because they tried to kill me first. Self-defense! Ever heard of it? And they interrupted my chimichanga break. Unforgivable."

He reached for a pack of gum, tearing it open and popping a piece into his mouth. "Anyway, don't mind me. Just your friendly neighborhood murder machine. Gotta keep the streets safe. Or, you know, unsafe. Depends on the client."

The News Broadcast

Deadpool's rambling monologue was interrupted by a sudden blast of static from the store's old tube TV, mounted precariously above the counter. The screen flickered, shifting to a news anchor who looked like she'd rather be anywhere else.

"We're receiving breaking news of an unprecedented astronomical event," the anchor said, her voice tinged with barely concealed panic. "A second sun has appeared in the sky, visible from every corner of the globe. Experts are baffled."

The camera switched to live footage of the twin suns hanging ominously in the sky.

Deadpool tilted his head, staring up at the screen. "Well, that's new. Double the UV rays, double the skin cancer. Guess it's time to stock up on SPF 1,000,000."

The anchor continued, "Scientists are reporting gravitational anomalies and strange atmospheric phenomena occurring worldwide."

As if on cue, the golden mist that had been creeping through the city streets began to seep under the store's front door, curling lazily around Deadpool's boots.

"Oh, great. Evil fog," Deadpool muttered, poking at the mist with his katana. "Because what this day really needed was a villainous weather pattern. What's next? Sentient thunderstorms? Killer tornadoes? A musical number?"

Fourth-Wall Breaks Galore

Deadpool turned back to the screen, pointing a finger at the anchor. "Hey, lady! You forgot to mention the most important detail: What's causing all this? Is it aliens? Gods? A writer with too much time on their hands?"

He paused, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "Wait a minute. Twin suns, golden mist, reality glitches... This has 'multiverse shenanigans' written all over it. That, or someone spiked my slushie with LSD again. Looking at you, Spider-Man."

The anchor's voice droned on in the background, but Deadpool was already lost in his own thoughts—or lack thereof. "You know what? I bet this is one of those big crossover events. Marvel loves those. Tons of heroes, convoluted plotlines, way too much dialogue..."

He turned to the reader, wagging a finger. "And don't you dare complain. You're here for the chaos, and you know it. Now, let's see where this rabbit hole goes."

The Mercenary's Perspective

Deadpool glanced down at the bodies on the floor, nudging one of them with his foot. "Well, I was gonna bring these guys in for my latest gig, but I'm guessing my client's priorities just shifted. Can't collect a bounty if the world's imploding, right?"

The mist thickened, swirling unnaturally as the store's lights flickered. Deadpool frowned, his fingers twitching toward his pistols.

"Okay, so this isn't your standard apocalyptic fog. Good to know. Guess I'll have to add 'weather control' to my list of things to kill today. Right after breakfast."

The bell above the door jingled again, but no one walked in. Instead, the mist curled into a vaguely humanoid shape, its golden glow pulsating faintly.

Deadpool cocked his head, raising his pistols. "Huh. Mist monsters. Didn't see that coming. Alright, buddy, let's dance."

Before Deadpool could pull the trigger, the mist creature dissolved, spreading out like a wave and surging toward the street outside. The TV above the counter flickered again, cutting to static before briefly displaying the twin suns.

"Well, this just keeps getting weirder," Deadpool said, holstering his weapons. "Guess I'd better go find the rest of the gang before things really hit the fan. Maybe the Avengers know what's going on. Or maybe I'll just shoot first and ask questions never. Either way, I'm calling dibs on being the star of this whole fiasco."

With that, he strolled out of the store, stepping over the bodies without a second glance. The mist swallowed him whole as he disappeared into the chaos of the city, humming a jaunty tune.