LIGHTNOVELWORLD Chapter 38: These confusing feelings
[Eris Pov]
I like him...I like Gino Britzs...
I'll say it bluntly, I like him.
I didn't want to believe it, I thought I loved Rudeus, I came to train here for him, when I think about him a smile forms on my face, I want to be with him...
But...when I see Gino...my heart beats like crazy, I get nervous and I have to be tough with him so he doesn't notice, just like with Rudeus when we were kids.
These feelings overwhelmed me, I cried for many nights without knowing what was happening to me.
Do I now love two men at the same time?
No! That's not possible! How disgusting! Besides, Gino is already with that idiot Nina!
That was what I thought for the first four months...but now we've spent more time together...now I no longer think about Rudeus but about Gino in my free time, And when I think about Rudeus, guilt eats away at me and I start to cry.
First of all, why do I love Gino? He's only been kind to me and helped me train, nothing more! I spent almost my entire life with Rudeus and this child is already in my heart!!
I don't accept it! I refuse to accept it, I love Rudeus!! And no one else!!
And if that's so...and if that's so then why?!, why every time I'm with Gino I get so nervous and my heart beats like crazy!!
It's such an annoying feeling that I want to hit him but I know I never will!
Just because he's stronger than me?!, that's why I love him?!, what the hell is that joke?!
I can't accept it! I love Rudeus?...
...
"No!..." I screamed as I jumped out of bed.
I looked around and was in my room in the dojo quarters...it's true that I've been here for more than half a year now...
It seems like I had a nightmare...
Ghislaine slept next to me, We both slept next to each other...ugg it seems like I fell asleep...
While I was stretching I heard footsteps from the hallway and heard Ghislaine's bedroom door open and slam shut.
"You touched yourself here, didn't you?" A male voice said from the other room.
"Yes, since autumn began and always thinking of you" Ghislaine replied.
My mouth went dry and my eyes widened at this.
Ah...she is in her mating season...but to think that she would already look for someone...
"I'm surprised you didn't go after me then," the male voice said lecherously.
I could feel my cheeks blushing and my hand instinctively went to my crotch.
"Well... you already have the daughter of the Sword God, so there was no point" Ghislaine replied.
My world stopped at that moment...and I recognized the man's voice...it was Gino...
My heart skipped a beat at this and I felt like I was short of breath.
Why?...why do I feel this way?!, why do I feel this way for a man who is not Rudeus?!, why am I jealous?!!!
This shouldn't matter less to me!!..but still!, why does it hurt so much!?...
Shortly after I started to hear Ghislaine's moans...that same Ghislaine whom I admire so much...she was making such erotic sounds...
I wanted to burst into the room and stop them...but why would I do that?!...
Our relationship could only be considered teacher-student!!, so why?...
Ghislaine's moans continued for several minutes until they stopped completely, I had tears in my eyes...
I wanted to yell at him, complain and tell him how much he hurt me...but I have no right...he can choose the woman he wants because I'm not his...
Neither did mine...I was just her friend...
I tried to convince myself to think about Rudeus, to think about him cheating on me while I'm here training for him...
I didn't feel the same, I just felt uncomfortable, I didn't feel as miserable as I do now...
Do I love Rudeus?...no...I love him very much...but I don't love him anymore...as a man...
This realization made me cry with sorrow, the man I spent most of my life with...
Now he was replaced by that boy...
This feeling did not help after seeing Ghislaine, I had to fake a smile with her...every time I saw her the memory came back to me and burned my chest.
It doesn't help that he started ignoring Gino...why do I do that?!, what's the point?, what message will I send him?!
I cried again...I love Gino...
The next day was the same, I felt so stupid for ignoring him, I wanted to be angry with him and at the same time I wanted to tell him how I feel...but I couldn't.
So I made a decision...I would tell him when we were alone...that day after training with Isolte I left without saying goodbye for no reason, I felt like the dumbest woman in the world for doing that.
When I returned to see him, he and Ghislaine were no longer there, so I decided to look for him in the woods. It took me about forty minutes, but I found him and Ghislaine.
The two seemed to be reviewing Isolte's teachings so I stayed to wait for them to finish.
Ghislaine attacked him at a speed I couldn't see and Gino repelled her effortlessly...
He looked so excited at that moment...my heart started beating like crazy.
But then...they kissed...that burning in my chest came back...and they saw me...no...he saw me...
I couldn't take it anymore and I ran away, I ran and cried, I cried and ran.
I locked myself in my room to cry, I felt horrible, I felt jealous... I wanted to tell him what I feel and the memory of Rudeus filled me with guilt.
Unable to contain these emotions, I cried myself to sleep.
The next day nothing improved, I couldn't start a conversation with Gino, for some reason I continued to ignore him, just seeing him made my chest burn and I was mean to him by reflex and the next moment I regretted it.
I felt stupid...I love him...there is no doubt now...
Why?... why do I love him?... him in the whole world why him?...
But...I love him...and I want him to know it...maybe tomorrow...I can tell him...
Shortly after, Ghislaine returned from the forest, my eyes were swollen from crying
... I will talk to her first.
...
[Gino Pov]
I stood there looking at my sword, Isolte had entered the dojo muttering something I couldn't understand...
"water Saint..." Nina murmured from my side and my smile grew even bigger.
"i-it seems so! Yes, yes I am!" I shouted with excitement.
Nina hugged me and Ghislaine patted me on the back.
"But I don't understand...how could you do it so easily?!" Nina asked as she pulled away from my hug.
"I had Ghislaine's help and I'm also a genius hehehe" I said with a mocking smile but it only made Nina raise an eyebrow.
""Alright, genius, could you teach me?" Nina said as she crossed her arms with a smile.
"Of course, in fact I was going to train with Ghislaine right now, do you want to come?" I asked her.
Nina nodded excitedly and so the three of us set off into the forest, by this point Eris had already left without warning again...
Once again it was shown that Nina was a genius with the sword, not at my level but she was a genius.
She was able to gather her Touki at the tip of her sword after a couple of attempts and help from me and Ghislaine.
To test her abilities we used the long sword of silence which she was able to repel but with difficulty, even so it was already a great advance.
We estimate that in less than two weeks she could master the technique.
Obviously Nina was in a very good mood about this and she almost jumped in joy all the way home until we parted ways when she had to go home.
I said goodbye to her with a kiss and once again I was left alone with Ghislaine.
"Do you want to do something now?" I asked with a smile but Ghislaine looked at me seriously.
"Yes, but first I need to talk to you...it's about Eris" she said while taking my hand.
Oh shit...here we go...
...
We walked for a while until we reached the forest again, Ghislaine stood in front of me and crossed her arms, her ears pricked up as if she was trying to listen to something.
"hmm, she is not close, very good" she murmured
"What are you talking about?" I murmured curiously.
"Eris, I was watching her I could hear her footsteps, but no" she said
"I see, and what did you want to talk to me about her?" I said while crossing my arms as well.
"Have you noticed since the day you claimed me, she behaved differently with you, right?" Ghislaine asked and I nodded.
"Well, she talked to me, and it turns out...fuuu...how can I tell you this?" Ghislaine muttered to herself.
"Oh, she likes you," he said bluntly.
I could only raise an eyebrow at this.
"Is that so? And then why does he act that way then?" I asked but he obviously knew the answer.
"You see, she never told it, but she as well as I, were left behind in a mana disaster in our home region, Eris spent around three years returning home with a boy, That boy is called Rudeus Greyrat, and according to Eris, when they were about to arrive they were attacked by the Dragon God himself, In that battle Rudeus almost died and Eris was traumatized" Ghislaine explained while looking at me seriously.
"..." I remained silent as I listened to her.
"And from that day on, Eris swore to become stronger with the simple purpose of protecting him, she loved him" Ghislaine said.
"Oh that's what she thought, and now it turns out she loves you!" She said pointing at me.
"That doesn't make sense" I replied.
"Yes, she doesn't, but Eris is sure of it, that's why she's so angry, she's angry with herself and at the same time she's jealous" Ghislaine said and at the end she let out a sigh.
"Jealous? Jealous of what? Of us?" I asked in disbelief.
"Apparently it is like that, she confessed everything to me yesterday, I told you that story only because you were my husband" she said with a smile.
"I see...thanks for telling me" I said with a smile.
"So, what are you going to do about it? Aren't you going to talk to her?" Ghislaine asked.
"And what will I tell him? Oh yeah, Eris, forget that boy you love so much and come into my arms and forget the only reason you came to the dojo?" I said sarcastically and Ghislaine just looked at me in silence and sighed.
At this I approached her and hugged her from behind, Ghislaine visibly shuddered at this and began to breathe heavily.
"here?..." She murmured.
"Do you want?" I replied with a smile and she nodded.
We spent about half an hour there and Ghislaine came back with a huge smile on her face.
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Happy New Year and last chapter of the year xd
*insert comment begging for power stones and positive reviews*