My Life & How It Has Changed Me Book 5

Chapter 7

Echoes Of Summer

Everything leaves an Echo as I looked down the table at all the faces. I could see every distinct memory of my three years living with the Rothwells. Each line is engraved on their faces like cut glass. Each has its own story to tell about how I lived and how I would be remembered. I was a boy of fourteen when I came here, a boy wanting a different life, a boy wanting parents who loved me. A boy was taken away from the life he had thought he would be happy with. Now I am not that same boy anymore.

True, I still wish I had been able to go with the Downings and know I could have had a life of happiness with them, but the life I have now with the Rothwells is not so bad either. I have many friends here that I wouldn't have had. I have a mother that has changed her life so she could be with me. She too has her echoes, a story to tell, why she had decided to change her life. Why she wanted me and my brother after all these years of tormenting us and abusing us? It was as if she got up one morning and looked at herself in the mirror and didn't like what she saw.

I am not exactly sure why she did it. Was it the blackmail? Was it the LDS church forcing her to do it? I know it wasn't my father or my sisters; I am not even certain if my friend Jeff had something to do with it. I have asked, and he still refuses to speak of it. Telling me all things have a price, and I have paid mine, and like always he gives me cryptic answers that leave more questions than answers. He left me here to find my own way without him, but at least he left me with friends and a family that truly does love me. It wasn't always like that. When I first arrived, it could have been further from the truth.

Now my world seems complete as I stare down at the table, finding friends and family. True, Shawn and Arthur are not part of that, yet they still hold the echoes of my past and my future. I know a fortune cookie could have broken open and told me that, but for the brief moment, I just wanted it to just to be perfect. Yet knowing my life, it will never be perfect. I would truly not be free to enjoy what I have for long. Fate is cruel, and fate always was. I lived in a world of cold and hatred. I lived in a world where people are jealous and vile creatures to their darkest core.

I didn't need Jeff to warn me about what was coming. All I had to do was look at Shawn and Arthur, sitting apart from us on their own little table with their steak cut up for them. Eating on little child plates with Mickey Mouse and Goofy with plastic baby sippy cups, glaring at me and my family and friends. Knowing I had become their only target that needed to go. Dead or alive, it didn't matter.

Watching Shawn run his fingers under his neck stating I was about to get what was coming to me. If it took the rest of his life, he and Arthur were going to make it happen. Dad and Mom didn't see it when he did it, as they quickly focused on each other and whispered things I couldn't quite make out. Mom and Dad didn't care if they only talked to each other. Considering that when they are home unless spoken to, they couldn't engage in any conversation with us. The only ones they could talk freely with … were each other.

They only existed as nothing more than a foster kid, a meal ticket, a mule boy. Something I used to be in their eyes, but no longer. Now I was a Rothwell, not a foster kid, but a member of the family. So, I knew the hate they felt about me because I felt the same hatred when I first arrived here. I was now sitting in Shawn's spot and have taken up residence and have replaced him entirely. He knew that and I knew that, as he looked at what I had taken away from him. All because of me not kneeling down and giving up. Instead, I dared to break those chains and gain my freedom which no other foster kid has ever done before.

Yet what Shawn and Arthur never realized was I hadn't broken those chains. Instead, I carry them with me every day on my shoulders. In fact, I still carry those chains till this very day, and they get heavier and heavier to the point that soon I can no longer carry them. Life is cruel, and life is a cold-hearted bitch that wants me to give up and stop fighting. Instead, accept my fate that it has won, and I will never be free of my chains. Yet for now, I carry them so I have written and so I will keep writing until I can no longer carry them or finally finish my life story for others to read and judge me, as I retrace my existence.

When I looked down at the table, I saw my mother staring at me. Like me, she knew that she was going to have to leave me soon. Every time she did it ripped our hearts out, but it didn't use to be this way. For I remember not so long ago. When going home was like going to hell, and she was my taskmaster. Now she was my loving, caring mother, wanting the very best for me and my brother Aaron.

She was still fighting it because she knew she didn't belong there. She and Aaron needed to go home where they belonged, and I needed to stay here where I belonged. Nothing was ever going to change that, so I hoped, but in years' time things would change, and it all started here from this very day. The day of celebration as the most hated person has been taken down from his throne.

Nobody knew for certain if Bishop Sakes and his 1st councilor Bishop Lanwall would make it to our dinner party until they pulled into our driveway the moment Dad started to pass down the rolls and the butter. Today was a special day, and we all were dressed in our best clothes except for ties, dress slacks, and our shoes. Mom hated it when we wore our shoes in the house and hated mending our socks, so we simply made them the first thing to go without.

We boys wore a nice pair of jeans and a button-down shirt, nondescript shirts, as the ladies wore long comfortable dresses. Shawn and Arthur were dressed in the same, well little more on the shabby side, which stated poor and neglected, but they were clean and that's all that mattered. Mom warned Arthur if he messed himself up today that she would beat him like a rug, not Dad but her personally. I saw the fear in his eyes when she said it. I knew from experience that when the monster came out of Mom, you better wish that she didn't beat you bloody. It didn't happen often, but it did happen enough to remain on her good side. A slap across the face or a hard spanking from her was nothing when she let the monster come out.

Dad had me set up place settings for them just in case they did show up. Instead of us running around with our heads cut off, finding a place for them, and resetting the table. Dad got up at the same time I did as Mom beat us to them. We quickly shook their hands.

I took my time as I shook hands with Bishop Sakes, looking for that special look or feeling I would sometimes get. Telling me that there was a man I could trust, not that I already trusted him, because I did. Yet when I looked into his eyes, I saw nothing, and when I shook his hand, I felt nothing, no feeling of overwhelming peace. Yet I didn't feel cold or dirty wanting to bathe as I did with Crawford. Bishop Sakes was still my friend, and that's what counted most.

I shook Bishop Lanwall's hand and looked him in the eye. The feeling was still there, but faint, as if it was hidden beneath the surface. He knew what I was looking for, for we had talked about it at great length. He saw the disappointment in my eyes as I looked at Bishop Sakes, knowing I didn't feel it or see it, yet I knew he was a good man and I trusted him. My eyes soon fell on Bishop Sakes' daughter. I knew her from my English class but had forgotten her name. I shook myself as her father introduced me to her. Her name was Fran.

Fran was very beautiful with long golden blonde hair, unlike her hair, which was raven black. She inherited it from her mother. It was tied with a blue ribbon that matched her blue eyes and had the face of an angel. The curvatures of her face and chin were soft, with a small dimple in the middle of her chin. When she giggled, she would twist slightly, and her voice sounded sweet and innocent. That made me weak in the knees as I took her hand and kissed the back of it. She was seventeen and was a senior in high school and also on the cheerleading team for our school.

She said. "Hello, you're that boy with that strange middle name. What was it? Oh yes, Tiger, you see I remember it."

I stuttered a little said. "Yes, my friends call me Tiger, but my name is Eric. Eric Rothwell." I sounded so stupid. I cussed myself, knowing I wasn't shy with girls any longer, so I had thought until now.

Mom noticed it and giggled said. "Son, why don't take the young lady and her two brothers inside so they can freshen up?"

I nodded; she whispered in my ear. "I much rather would like to rip your clothes off and kiss every inch of you." I must have blushed because she giggled and swayed. Giving me a silly grin as she placed a finger in her mouth pulling down those lush lips, as if she was trying to decide if I would let her do just that. Dad had set the rules stating there would be no sex today or letting us get comfortable in our lifestyle.

So, I said. "Yes, Mom, the bathroom is this way." I was too focused on her before I noticed her two brothers following me. Man, I was so stupid because I didn't pay attention long enough to get their names.

The house still smelled of fresh paint and freshly cleaned carpets. I quickly told them that Mom didn't like it when we wore our shoes in the house, causing them to look down at my bare feet. They quickly removed their shoes and their socks at the door as their sister reintroduced them to me to her brothers.

Who were Hank and West, who were twins, telling me not to feel so bad because most boys forget them when their sister is introduced first? I still felt rather stupid, but I apologized and said. "I am not really that shy around pretty girls. She just caught me off guard because she looked like one of my "mermaids."

Hank was tall like Shane who when he left was two heads taller than I was, but now that I had my growth spurt, it would be safe to say that I was quickly a head shorter. Hank like his brother West both had light brown hair a mix between their mother's and father's hair, blue eyes, and round curved faces that every girl would stare at wanting to feel those cheeks and taste their soft lips.

Like me, they were well-muscled, but unlike me, they played on the school basketball team and the wrestling team. Both were sixteen, and I noticed that we were both in the same social studies class, and gym class, and seminary. But the only difference between the two brothers was their height. West was as tall as me five foot seven and was on my swim team. He didn't play basketball, but I knew he was on the wrestling team with his brother, as they are known as the powerhouse twins.

I again I wanted to slap myself for telling them about my mermaids, opening me up to more questions. I cringed when they said. "Mermaids?"

I knew it sounded crazy and I can thank Dad for that one, so I said. "Would you care to see some?" Then wanting to slap myself because they were all naked, and I wasn't sure how they would take it. I knew for sure that Bishop Sakes had signed on the dotted line. I just couldn't remember if they had. So, I said. "After dinner providing your Dad lets me, I'll introduce you to them." Hoping to get me out of the noose I was putting around my neck.

I let them remove their shoes and smiled when the two brothers simply stuffed their socks inside them as they put them by the door we were entering. I showed Fran to the bathroom with our shower being it was the closest, as she quickly slipped off her shoes as I watched her wiggle her bare toes.

I could already imagine sucking each one of her toes in my mouth. I shook myself to get myself under control and took the two brothers Hank and West to the main bathroom and watched them take a peek at the new tub room. When they saw it, they both said awesome. I said. "It's new. We just put it in a week ago." I wanted to say more, but I didn't, because I was imagining their sister Fran in it and wanting to taste her. Man, I was super horny.

When I came out with Bishop Sakes' children. Mom had moved my plate down towards the end where Greg was sitting. He was waiting as he stood as I introduced them to him and his brother Chad. Just like me, they were spellbound by Fran as I pulled out a seat for her next to me and Greg. Having her brothers sit across from me. I watched as Greg shook himself and refocused on her two brothers when I said what sports they play. Unlike me, Greg and Chad were into sports, even though neither of them could play because of health reasons.

Greg just had to open his big mouth when he said. "So, did Eric show you, his mermaids?" I wanted to slap him for it. They both said that I hadn't but wanted to. Having their father ask me why he hasn't seen them yet.

I blushed and said. "Because sir. I haven't had a chance because I recently came home this weekend." Dad heard me and told me to grab my photo album. Having Mom tell him it would be best to wait until after dinner perhaps during dessert.

Brother Greg D. Sakes. He used to teach seminary at Lehi High School but has taken a job at American Fork to be the head honcho over the seminary there and would be my adviser. Brother Sakes fit the nerdy type of stereo class. Wearing black frame glasses and straight black hair which covered most of his receding hairline; blue eyes that changed to dark green in the shade, reaching six feet nine inches.

The most amazing thing about him was his half smile and his beak nose would wrinkle when he laughed, and he could imitate a penguin. If you want a good laugh after feeling bad all day, he's the guy who could turn your frown into a smile. He was also in charge of our ward's boys Basketball and Baseball team, but no longer because he was now our new Bishop in our new ward.

Bishop Sakes was a single parent and had been ever since his wife died during a bad pregnancy, losing her and the baby. He had never remarried. Instead, he raised his three kids on his own. I didn't have a lot to do with them because I wasn't into sports, and I didn't go to American Fork until now. I only saw them in church and his boys really weren't in scouts that much, so we only knew each other in passing, which was about to change.

I sat uncomfortably at the table as Fran kept taking her bare feet and rubbing them up and down my right leg. I jumped when she placed her hand on top of mine. I don't know why I was so jumpy. But I was.

She leaned over and asked Greg if it was true what the girls said about me. That I am an excellent kisser, having Cindy answer. "Depends on who he is kissing. If he's kissing me, it's like floating in a dream and not wanting to wake up. Greg and Chad have told me when he is kissing them it's like a powder keg of dynamite going off." I cringed when I noticed Fran licking her lips. I could feel the noose tighten when I saw the look on Bishop Sakes' face and Bishop Lanwall's face.

I wanted to hide under the table when Hank asked. "He kisses you like on the cheek, right?"

Greg said. "Not quite. Trust me when you have, you'll be wanting him to do so and more." Watching him raise his eyebrows. I wanted to die and bury myself in a hole so deep they never find me.

West said. "I have wondered about what it would be like kissing another boy, but never in my wildest dream thought that boys liked to kiss other boys. I only thought about kissing girls but haven't gotten that far yet."

Greg said. "When you do, you'll find that both are very exciting, but when you kiss a girl and I mean to kiss her, you will know the difference, have a craving to do both."

Cindy said. "Boys" and got up from her seat and came around to the table. She told Hank and West to stand up and they did, she said. "Close your eyes and tell me the first thing you think of." She grabbed hold of Hank first placing his arms around her then placed her lips on his and opened them slowly. I watched as his eyes widen and she deepened the kiss, pulling him closer. When she released him, pulling his lips with her, he moaned and shivered slightly. He wobbled off balance, taking his seat as he mopped his brow.

She asked what he thought of. He said that he felt like a storm of lightning going off all around him as the ground shook under his feet. Greg said. "It's the same when a boy does it, except a tad milder."

West was all in, as he wasted no time in wrapping his arms around Cindy. He gripped her as she gripped him. The kiss was longer and deeper. He quickly placed his hands on the back of his chair to steady him and said. "That was so awesome. Can I try it again?"

This time Ronda and Clara did the honors, having the same effect on the boys. Their Dad laughed. "Well, that was quite entertaining, watching my boys being kissed for the first time. I can't wait to see how they feel when they kiss a boy. I remember my first when I was their age, and I would have to agree with Greg that it was exciting because I too at the time consider it but never tried it.

"Until one night I had a sleepover at my friend's house, and we were fifteen or sixteen at the time. And didn't want to feel stupid when our dates for the Friday night dance asked too and we didn't know how. I didn't want to ask my parents about what's liked to kiss or how to and we didn't have an open relationship. So, we tried it with each other, and I would have to agree I liked it, and I enjoyed doing it with girls … more than boys."

I was in total shock when I heard Bishop Sakes tell us he had kissed a boy, and he liked it. I felt a little bit better, knowing that because I still hadn't sat down with him since I had gone to the nudist colony. I knew he knew I had gone there because when Dad brought up the contract, his name was on it. I wasn't sure when Dad had him sign it or how much he knew about my new, enhanced lifestyle. So, I remained quiet.