Naruto: Ren the Sealmaster

Ren knocked on Inoichi's door, feeling a bit nervous about attending their family dinner.

The door opened and Ren's eyes fell on a fourteen-year-old girl with long flowing blonde hair and pretty blue eyes. Ren had to admit she was beautiful.

And he promptly mentally winced, reminding himself she was fourteen and most likely annoying as fuck. 

Still, his heart started beating slightly faster.

"Oh, hello." Ino's cheek became red as she blatantly checked him out and despite his feelings about tutoring her, Ren couldn't help but feel a bit of pride.

Naruto might not appreciate Ren's looks, calling him an uncle of all things as if he looked old. But Ren didn't look half bad. Thanks to his gravity seals, his lean body was perfectly toned and he thought he looked quite handsome with his shaggy and spiky blond hair falling around his face onto his shoulders, long enough to reach his upper back. His clear pale blue eyes had quite a few of his female classmates swooning in the academy even though he tried to keep himself in the middle of the pack and didn't go for the top spot.

Much to his dismay. He couldn't see them as anything but kids back then so it was a very uncomfortable experience.

"Ren, right? Dad said you were going to come. Come in. I am Ino." She grinned and opened the door wider as she introduced herself.

"Yes... Thanks." Ren awkwardly said as he entered the house. From what he could tell, the girl had no idea about Inoichi's offer just yet. And he wasn't looking forward to that discussion.

There was a reason why Inoichi hadn't told her yet. She was bound to take it wrongly.

Following Ino to the kitchen after taking off his shoes, Ren saw an older blonde woman busying herself at the stove who reminded him of older Ino and he felt genuinely jealous of Inoichi. His wife was gorgeous.

"Welcome. My name is Noriko. It's nice to meet you." The woman said with a welcoming smile. "I hope Ino wasn't rude."

"Mooom!" Ino whined while playfully rolling her eyes at the woman with a grin. "He is a big boy. He can take it." She threw Ren a mischievous look, making him snort.

"I am Ren." He looked at Noriko, "Thank you for having me." And politely bowed according to the customs of this world.

"Oh, hello, Ren." Just then, Inoichi entered the kitchen. Noticing the good atmosphere, he instantly went for the killing blow like a true shinobi, "Ino, I decided to hire Ren here to help you become a better kunoichi. If he agrees, that is?" He threw Ren a questioning look but Ren didn't manage to even open his mouth before Mt. Ino erupted.

"Wait, what!? Why would I need to be taught by him? Isn't he like a genin or something? He can't be that much older than me!" She exclaimed with a glare.

"I age gracefully?" Ren raised his eyebrow at her, not being bothered by her rude attitude.

Hearing that, Ino actually smiled for a moment but then she remembered she was supposed to be angry and gave both Inoichi and Ren a heated glare again.

"I do just fine in the academy. I don't need a tutor! What would Sasuke say if he found out? I would be a laughing stock!" She animatedly waved her hands through the air to emphasize her point.

Oh, it was obvious to Ren that Inoichi deliberately chose this moment for this discussion and since the man wanted some drama before dinner, Ren was going to oblige.

"You mean you aren't one now?" He asked, tilting his head a bit and both Inoichi and Noriko's jaws dropped to the floor.

It gave pause to Ino too, before her rage came back with the full force of a tsunami. Her face became red from anger and she was about to shout at Ren but he just sharply lifted his palm, stopping her in her tracks.

"You 'love' the Uchiha, right?" Ren abruptly changed the topic, making Ino confused.

"Yeah?"

"And you know his goal is to eventually bring back his clan, right?"

"Yes." Ino blushed a bit at that. "I am going to help him with it!" She gave Ren a challenging look, just daring him to say anything against it. 

Ren smiled, confusing her. She was just making it so easy for him.

"And I heard you constantly compete with other girls for his attention, neglecting your training." Ren nodded to himself as if confirming something.

Ino just crossed her arms and huffed, "I need to keep my figure. I can't become all muscly! Sasuke wouldn't like that. Beauty takes time and effort." She said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and gave Ren a 'duh' look.

'Oh, Hagoromo, help me with this one.' Ren subtly took a deep breath. Why couldn't he just write her off as a lost cause and move on? Glancing at Inoichi who returned an embarrassed smile, Ren inwardly sighed. Ah, yes. The yin chakra exercises and theories.

He was starting to wonder if they would be worth this suffering.

Outwardly, Ren just calmly chuckled at her, "See? You totally are a laughing stock." He shook his head. Seeing that the girl didn't like that very much, he quickly continued, "You do realize that Sasuke will never pay attention to a weak girl, right?"

That made Ino freeze as she blinked at Ren in incomprehension.

"The boy doesn't care about your hair or figure. He doesn't care how much you pine after him. What he needs to re-establish his clan is a powerful kunoichi that will ensure the potential of his future children." Ren shrugged, telling the girl how the freaking reality actually worked.

Something Inoichi should have done long ago.

Weren't Yamanakas supposed to be good at creating profiles and analyzing people or something? So far, Ren was not impressed.

Sasuke was definitely going to have his pick from the available Jonin-level kunoichi in the village as long as he didn't pull the running to Orochi-daddy act.

But Ren wasn't going to tell the girl that. He wanted to motivate her, not crush her resolve.

"He won't pay attention to girls right now. No matter what you do or how pretty you are. He needs to train and become a strong ninja first. It's the only thing on his mind right now." Ren told her, "But when the time comes and Uchiha decides he wants a girl, you better be at least a solid Jonin or there is no hope for you. Get that, blondie?"

Ino didn't answer. She just stayed silent for a few moments with a frown on her lips before she unsurely turned toward her father and subduedly asked, "Is that true?"

"I am afraid so, pumpkin." Inoichi gave her a sad smile, "Uchiha-kun is traumatized. He will not accept a weak woman because deep down, he is afraid to lose his family again."

'Oh, my dear lord. It is sappy bullshit like this that made Ino so obsessed with the boy in the first place.' Ren covertly gave Inoichi a dry, unamused look, wondering if the bastard was trying to make his job harder on purpose.

Ino squealed... And Ren almost groaned as her mind obviously flew to the lala land again.

Deciding she needed some rain on her parade to be brought back to the real world, Ren quickly spoke again, "Not to mention, there is exactly zero chance that Sasuke would have only one wife. One woman is insufficient to re-establish a clan. If he is serious about it, he will take at the very least three but five or six is more likely."

Ino looked as if he had just told her the world was ending and Sasuke was gay. She was totally out of it, her face pale from the sheer horror she felt.

But Ren was not lying. The village would not allow the Uchiha clan to die out. They might not order Sasuke to take a wife. They had no right to do it. But they will definitely use every trick in the book, underhanded or not, to get him interested in loyal women and have some hanky panky with them.

In Boruto, Sasuke had only Sakura. But that Sasuke was on a level above Hashirama and absolutely nobody could tell him what to do. Maybe Naruto could but he would not do it.

Oh, and that Sasuke was clearly gay.

Because imagine marrying a girl, knocking her up, and then fucking right off for twelve whole years. Was Ren actually supposed to believe Sasuke truly loved Sakura from that?

He probably just married her because he felt sorry for her. He had to make new Uchihas. And Sakura was so hell-bent on the role that she would forgive him even shoving Chidori through her chest.

It was simply convenient and Sasuke probably took it as atonement for his sins and the pain he caused the team.

Not to mention, this was the dude who wanted to re-establish his clan but he only had one kid with the supposed love of his life. And he never had other kids with other women as far as Ren knew... but he wasn't a Boruto fan. He only watched the beginning so he might be wrong.

But as far as he knew, and from how Sasuke acted in canon, he could only conclude that Sasuke batted for the same team.

A sad thing for the Uchiha clan. May they rest in peace.

"No! He can't have multiple wives! I-" Ino exclaimed, but Inoichi just compassionately put his hand on her shoulders, making her fall silent.

Funny thing, monogamy was not mandatory in this world. Christianity did not exist. And many influential people had multiple women. Even the Daimyo had one official main wife and then he had multiple concubines.

The reason why ninjas usually married only one woman was very simple. They married kunoichi. If they didn't want to wake up castrated or not at all with their throat slit, they were not going to cheat on their wife who had superpowered senses and ninja observation skills.

Ren actually did know a few guys who had multiple lovers too. Nobody talked much about it. But there was no law prohibiting it.

But honestly, one woman was a lot of effort and time investment. Ninjas usually did not really have the time for more with all the training, missions, and other work they had to do in their day-to-day time.

As Naras would say, it was just too troublesome.

Many kept their relationships on the level of casual hookups at best. With the high risk of death, the stress, and the trauma their profession usually caused, many ninjas didn't have it in them to get emotionally invested or do something as bothersome as relationships.

Suddenly, Ino's downcast expression brightened as she came to some inner conclusion that brought back her resolve.

"I am going to become so strong that I will win his heart only for myself!" Ino proclaimed with determination shining in her eyes and while Inoichi couldn't be happier that his girl was finally going to take her training seriously, Ren wanted to put his head in his hands.

She didn't get it at all! The girl was clearly delusional and he will have to deal with her.

Truly, Hinata was a treasure.

'Oh, shit. I am going to need to explain this to Hinata, aren't I?' Ren realized with dread filling him.

Maybe the girls will be friendly? He really hoped so.