Naruto: The Unwoven Threads of Fate

Months Later

"Today was a good day Sasuke." Orochimaru smiles down on his next body. "You're progressing rapidly with the curse seal in the short time we've been working on it."

"You are an effective teacher." Sasuke stiffly replies as Orochimaru raises an eyebrow at the unique word choice. He was expecting 'good' not 'effective.' "It's not so bad now that I've gotten some practice under my belt. It's not something I dread having to use. I control it, it doesn't control me."

"I couldn't have said it better myself." Orochimaru blissfully sighs out. "What… what is that?"

The Snake Sannin pauses and sniffs the air. His tongue darts out and flicks up and down twice before snapping back into his mouth. "What is that fragrance?"

"Fragrance?" Sasuke looks up at Orochimaru in confusion while deeply sniffing the air himself. "MMMMmmmmm."

Sasuke gets a glazed look in his eyes and almost zombie like starts shuffling towards the source of the smell.

"I don't know its origin." Orochimaru swiftly alters course after Sasuke. "It's coming from this way."

It takes less than five minutes for the duo to track down the mystery smell.

"Hey guys!" Alvarcus merrily waves to them as Orochimaru and Sasuke burst into the room. "How's things?"

"Alvarcus?" Orochimaru asks in surprise. "Nevermind, no doubt you with your Jiongu enhanced senses smelled it too. Where is that fragrance coming from? We've traced it to here."

"Oh that." Alvarcus picks up a pair of oven mitts and opens up the kitchen's oven. "It's the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies."

"Alvarcus." Sasuke is by his side in an instant. "You're my friend. You know that right?"

"Of course I do." Alvarcus smirks as he goes about the tedious task of removing the cookies from the baking sheet to a cooling wire rack.

"May I…" Sasuke trails off as he reaches towards the hot gooey pastry.

"No." Alvarcus slaps his hand away. "Not until they've cooled down more."

"But they're so good." Sasuke is salivating as he stares at the sugary morsels. It also appears he subconsciously turned on his Sharingan out of excitement. "Please?"

"Patience." Alvarcus goes about cleaning up his mess while the cookies cool.

"You made these?" Orochimaru joins Sasuke. Not as enthusiastically but he's interested in what has caught the Uchiha's eye. "I'm impressed. When did you have time to learn how to bake?"

"The first twelve years of this life." Alvarcus conversationally says. "I did basically grow up in a bakery, you pick up a couple things over the years."

"Ah yes." Orochimaru forgets that Alvarcus had a time before him. Before his real father. "So you did."

"Alvarcus!" Sasuke whines. Whines. An Uchiha whined. Orochimaru can't fathom it. "Please?"

"Okay, okay, fine." Alvarcus sighs and waves towards the cookies. "You may have some. Three! You may have three!"

"They're!" Sasuke stuffs a whole cookie into his mouth. "So!" Crumbs go flying as he speaks with his mouth full. "GOOD!"

"I'll be the judge of that." Orochimaru picks up a cookie and eyes it suspiciously. "Even chocolate chip displacement. Right consistency for a cookie. Decent size, though I like mine slightly larger. Now then, the only thing that truly matters is the taste."

Orochimaru takes a bite of the cookie. His eyes widen as far as possible and his eyes seem to glaze over.

He promptly shoves the rest of the cookie into his mouth and chews it while making... questionable sounds.

"Yep." Alvarcus, with a thousand mile smile, picks up his own cookie and dunks it in a glass of milk. "Still got it."

An Indeterminate Amount of Time Later

"So you're Suigetsu." I stare up at the giant test tube full of water and a white haired boy. "You're naked. Why are you naked?"

"Blurbidguy!" Suigetsu attempts to speak to me but, well, he's underwater. Totally kills any form of response he could have.

"Hm." I walk around the test tube to examine him. "You don't look like much."

"Blargutharme!" He intellectually retorts.

"Yes, yes, I know that the Hozuki Clan is to be feared. The ability to become water is one of the most dangerous kekkai genkai in my own personal opinion. How does one truly damage water? You can't cut it, nor burn it, nor bludgeon it. Lightning will simply course through your system to make you more dangerous. You, Suigetsu Hozuki, have the potential to be truly dangerous." He's staring at me with wide surprised eyes. "No I did not read your mind, it's obvious what you were going to say. Anyways I'm more interested in something else. How do you feel about Orochimaru?"

An impressive killing intent - for a high chunin at least - settles over the room.

"Good." An evil smile forms on my face. "I can work with that. See you in a few years."

"BLUURRRRRGG!" He thrashes in his test tube as I shut the door behind me.

Otogakure, The Land of Rice, Orochimaru's Office

"How incompetent can these hacks of shinobi be!" Orochimaru shouts at his current paperwork.

"Is now a bad time?" I'm leaning against the doorframe. "I was going to ask you something but I can come back later."

"I just - they're so terrible!" Orochimaru places his head in his hands and all of the air in his lungs whooshes out in frustration. "I have to slash the budget again because my morons of shinobi can't handle their missions!"

"Anything I can do to help? You seem stressed." I fully enter the room and plop down in my usual chair. By that I mean I unseal the armchair I stole from Doto and recline it to the max.

"Unless you somehow have a way of bringing in a frankly ridiculous amount of revenue, then no. You cannot help." Orochimaru doesn't even raise an eyebrow at my antics. He's gotten used to it. Shame. Though it could be because he hasn't taken his face out of his hands yet.

"How much do you need?" I ask him and he shoves a paper towards me. "That's a lot of zeros. Give me a day."

I get up, reseal my chair and exit the office.

"Did he say give me a day?" Orochimaru finally pulls his face from his hands. "No, I must be hearing things."

One Day Later

"Hey Orochimaru." I boldly stroll into his office and set down a hefty package on his desk. "There ya go."

"What's this?" Orochimaru eyes the package in curiosity.

"A frankly stupid amount of cash." I casually mention and turn to leave. "Should be enough to get Oto's budget balanced."

"How did you get this?" Orochimaru asks as he peeks inside to confirm my words. "Alvarcus how in all of the Elemental Nations did you get this money?"

"I went to a bank?" It comes out as a question even though it should have been a statement. I just don't get what's up with him. It's not that hard of a concept.

"You… you stole this from a bank?" He sounds disappointed. "You are aware that they have countermeasures in place, yes? None of this will be useable."

"I didn't steal it." I roll my eyes at the Snake Sannin. "I made a withdrawal."

"Come again?" He looks up from the money to stare at me uncomprehendingly.

"I'm filthy rich. I just made a withdrawal from my bank." I shrug. "Simple really."

"And, just to satisfy my own personal curiosity, how did you manage to become filthy rich?"

"You know that new clothing line that's become all the rage amongst the nobles?" I can't help but smirk.

"The Midas Touch?" Orochimaru's brain is whirring as fast as it can. "What of it?"

"I own it." I bluntly tell him.

"You own it." He monotonously repeats my words back to me. "Explain."

"Long story incredibly short: The Weavers wouldn't quit making clothes so I opened a store under a penname so that their hard work wouldn't get thrown away. Had a few of your genin teams run it at first so technically I've already helped out some before this. Wait, no, that's not right. Pretty sure I bullied them into it. Anyways I'm off topic, turns out that the Weaver's work is of peerless quality and some young Duke or whatever purchased them all at once. So I figured hey, this seems like it could go somewhere and now I've got twenty six stores across all the nations. It literally fell into my lap."

"How do you get the clothes to the stores?" He asks me.

"Civvies. Just stuff a wagon or thirty full and send them off. If it's a large load I'll hire one or two of your teams to guard it. Don't want profit loss and all that. Custom orders are different though."

"Custom orders?"

"Yeah, there are tailors on site at each store that get the customer's measurements. They send them to me, I pass it along to the Weavers and bam! Custom outfit."

"I. Well. Ahem. Thank you." Orochimaru hides the package inside a drawer in his desk. "It's very generous of you to part with such a large sum."

"Meh, that's the price of a single lower end dress." My words cause his jaw to drop. "I know right? I'm fucking loaded."

Later That Month

"I bet you're wondering why I called you here." Orochimaru dramatically leans forward, placing both arms on his desk while intensely staring at me with a blank face. "Sit down please."

"I swear it wasn't me." I blurt out while I'm halfway through the door. "The blood isn't even mine."

"You don't bleed." Orochimaru points out.

"I rest my case."

"Just get in here and sit down." He sighs out as I finally fully enter and do as he says.

"So… uh… what's up?" I awkwardly ask.

"Allow me to be blunt." He slides three folders towards me. Each one has a name on it and is thick. It's obviously dossiers on people but what's intriguing is that the folders all have music notes on them. These three are sound shinobi. "I want you to go to the Chunin Exams. These will be-"

"Oh hell no!" I shout and jump to my feet. "No! No! Absolutely not! I've had enough of the Chunin Exams! I don't care anymore! They all go wrong! Without fail! Every damn time! I'm fine as a genin I don't need to be a jonin to become S-rank! If I'm the world's only S-rank genin then fine I'll wear that shit like a badge!"

"What? You a genin? How absurd." Orochimaru has a genuine look of confusion on his face. "Alvarcus I wanted you to lead the genin to Kumo and act as their superior."

"That's a job for a jonin." I stare at him with an 'are you an idiot' look.

"Alvarcus you are a jonin." He matches my look and out does it.

"Wait what?" It's my turn to be confused. "I am?"

"Of course you are." He still looks mildly confused. "You've displayed the traits necessary for a long time. Your combat skills are second only to me, your mind is uniquely wired to squirm out of tight situations that a jonin would routinely find themselves in, people listen when you speak and do as you ask without question and those that do question you are immediately put in their place, and that's not mentioning your very impressive and successful mission history. You put all of my other jonin to shame."

"I'm a jonin. Really?" I eagerly ask and he nods in confirmation. "Since when?"

"Since Kusa." He effortlessly replies. "Did I not mention it to you?"

"Since KUSA?" I say just a little too loudly.

"Strange. Must have slipped my mind." Orochimaru gets lost in his memories for a moment. "I could have sworn I told you when I sent you to meet Yugito. How insulting would it be to send a genin to one of Kumo's best?"

"For someone so brilliant you really suck sometimes." I heave out a large sigh. "Okay. Just… going to take a moment to let that sink in. Jonin. Yay. Do I get a vest? You know what keep it, it would ruin my style."

"Now that that's out of the way-"

"I'm still not going to the Chunin Exams again." I cut off Orochimaru.

"Give me one reason to not send you." Orochimaru is offering me an escape route, so to speak. "One valid reason. Emphasis on valid."

"You mean besides the impending shitstorm that would happen if I went to the Exams?" I sarcastically reply. "I'll do you one better. I'll say six words. Just six simple words and they'll win you over for sure."

"Go on then." Orochimaru has a smile playing on his face. "What six measly words will sway a Sannin?"

"I can't wait to see Yugito."

"Perhaps you shouldn't go." Orochimaru concedes.

Months Later, Konoha, Hokage's Office

"Tsunade please." Asuma Sarutobi pleads to his Kage. No that's not quite right. He's not pleading. He's begging. One of Konoha's best jonin, one of the two remaining Sarutobi, son of the Sandaime Hokage and ex bodyguard of the Daimyo himself is groveling before her.

"My hands are tied." Tsunade regrettably says. "I want to send a task force out. Believe me I do but -"

"Then send one!" Asuma's anger flares for an instant. "I'll lead! I won't rest till they're back!"

"As I was saying." Tsunade narrows her eyes slightly at his outburst. "But they are capable shinobi. We can't be sending out retrieval teams because one of our teams is a week late."

"They're all Clan Heirs! Surely an exception can be made!" He pleads his case once more.

"Even more reason to not send out a team." Tsunade starts to rub her brow in a vain attempt to lessen the pressure that's rapidly building there. "Asuma they're literally two of the most skilled genin we have and on top of that Shikamaru is being groomed to take over as Jonin Commander once his dad steps down. They've grown up around each other since the day they were born. They know each other inside and out. They've been trained by you to work freakishly well around each other. In summation, that team is stacked. They'll be fine."

"Then why are they a week late?" Asuma asks a question that no one in Konoha can answer. "You and I both know that there are people they can't face yet. We both know that there's scores of shinobi that would gladly kill off three of Konoha's Clan Heirs. Do you really want to stand by and do nothing?"

"That's where you're mistaken." Tsunade has had enough of this conversation. "I am not doing nothing. I am choosing to trust in my shinobi. I'm choosing to trust in your team. Do you really think they'd be happy to have you burst onto the battlefield and save the day? Do you really hold them in such low esteem? Asuma you're better than that. You've trained them better than that. Trust them."

"I don't like it." He says as he goes to leave. "I'll give them three more days then I'm going after them."

"A week." Tsunade barters. "Then come talk to me again and I'll get a team together."

Somewhere Along Iwa's Border

"We're all thinking it. I'm going to say it." Choji's voice breaks the silence. "We're so fucked."

"Just… give me some more time." Shikamaru hopelessly responds. "I'll think of something."

"You've been saying that for a week." Ino sounds broken.

The trio has seen much better days. Hell most of their bad days are leagues better than this. They're all underground, tucked away in the back of a very complicated cave system. They haven't seen a ray of sunlight in over four days. And to top it all off the three of them have chakra suppressing collars.

Choji is being suspended from the ceiling by his wrists and his ankle chains are tying him down to the floor. He's been pulled uncomfortably tight, his spine and all his limbs are being stretched a hairsbreadth away from their breaking point.

Shikamaru has been expertly strapped to a table. Thankfully it isn't an operating table, he's enduring a different method of torture. Every few seconds an ice cold drop of water falls from the ceiling and splashes directly in the center of his forehead. Every time it lands the Nara flinches. It's constantly distracting him, keeping his mind off coming up with an escape plan.

Ino has her arms securely fastened to a whipping post. She's being constantly forced to hug the sturdy piece of wood and endure whatever their captors deal out. Her once pristine purple coat as become little more than dirty straps of cloth.

Yet that's not the end of it. That would be too simple. Every once in awhile, usually when their captors get bored, they switch spots. All three of their backs have long slashes across them but Ino has more.

The captors like her screams the best.

"Well I don't see you doing anything to get us out of this!" Shikamaru shouts at his teammate as yet another drop of ice cold water hits him.

"Shikamaru don't take your anger out on her!" Choji instantly comes to her defense. "We got caught. We're all to blame. I think we're lucky."

"You call this lucky?" Ino snarls at him. "We're being tortured and then we're going to be killed and then our heads will be sold to the highest bidder! How is this lucky!?"

"It's because we're Clan Heirs." Choji says to both of their disbelief. "If we were anyone else we wouldn't have been captured. We would have been killed on the spot. Now we have time to escape."

"Aww how cute." A brute of a man coos out from the darkness. All three of the Konoha shinobi flinch reflexively at that voice. They all know exactly who it is. He's the one who places them under the dripping water. He's the one who stretches out their bodies. He's the one who laughs maniacally while cleaving into their backs. "You all have hope. Let's fix that."

He comes closer, holding a lantern in one hand and the dreaded whip in the other.

"Ladies first?" He looks over at Ino. She doesn't dare to meet his gaze. "There's no need to be shy! You were so vocal during our last get together!"

He idly flicks the whip.

"Don't you dare touch her you piece of shit!" Choji roars at the top of his lungs. "You touch her and you die!"

CRACK

A new red line appears on Choji's back.

"We have a volunteer." The brute of a man stalks towards his prey.