Naruto: The Unwoven Threads of Fate

He slowly pulls out a single gleaming kunai. "We only need the girl, best to get rid of the rest."

"OI!" Hidan shouts. The once three chunks is now two chunks. No one really wants to know how that happened. "Let me sacrifice them! I need a pick me up after that fucking heathen did all that shit to me!"

"No." Kakuzu says as he swiftly swipes the kunai across Yoro and Kegon's throats. "If you were a better shinobi you wouldn't have allowed it to happen, immortality be damned. What's this?"

A thick viscous liquid billows out of the two slashed necks. It's too thick to be blood. It's the wrong color to be blood. It's brown and chunky and sloppy.

"Mud?" Kakuzu says in disbelief as the two men - now revealed to be clones - collapse into a piles of mud. "Mud!" He slashes Fuu's throat and is met with the same mocking mud that spills out of her. With a snarl Kakuzu shouts out, "MUD!"

It's at this moment that a certain unfinished sentence completes itself. No words were spoken, none were necessary. The speaker isn't even present, Kakuzu himself let him go unaccosted.

"I've already won."

A Few Hours Later, Kilometers Outside of Taki

"So let me get this straight." A very angry Fuu stomps up to me and harshly jabs me in the chest with a single finger. "You're telling me there's a group of highly trained elite even among S-rank shinobi after my head?"

"Well not technically your head." I simply shrugs in response and let her get away with poking me. If it makes her feel better than I can tolerate it. Besides, it's not like she's fighting me. I've caught up to them. It was pretty easy since I told the spiders where to take them and all three of them were restrained. Fuu by a seal and Yoro and Kegon by webs. They really weren't happy about that. I'm taking this time to fill her in on the details of who exactly those two are. "It's Chomei's head they want. It just happens to be a package deal with yours, two for the price of one if you will."

"And you just wander around looking for them?" She jabs me in the chest again. "Just waiting for them to make a move so you can step in and stop them?"

"When you say it like that I sound kind of like an asshole." That's totally what I did today. I stalked Fuu and company until Kakuzu and Hidan showed up then leapt in to save her. "Well shit. I guess I'm an asshole then. But yeah that pretty much sums it up."

"If they're such a big deal then why didn't you kill them when you had the chance?" Fuu asks with another finger jab to the chest.

Why indeed. I could have. Okay, I think I probably could have. Maybe. If I squint from a distance in the middle of a sandstorm on a moonless night it's possible.

I might be selling myself short there, after all I am a Sage capable of destruction that few can hope to match. I know all of their skills inside and out, I've even spent a significant portion of my second life personally using and thinking of ways to better the Jiongu which is Kakuzu's trump card. I'm freakishly tailored to combat that pair it's not even funny.

So why didn't I kill them?

To put things simply: It was too soon.

I couldn't take the risk of revealing too much about myself. Right now Kakuzu and Hidan are heading back to wherever they came from to report about this nameless shinobi that thwarted their plans. They'll tell all the Akatsuki to be on the lookout for a seal master wielding a sword that seals things away, a seal master that is an expert at his art capable of making seals that can absorb some of Kakuzu's strongest jutsu with ease, a seal master capable of standing against two of them, a seal master capable of bending a storm to his will - though that one might be a bit of a stretch - and most interestingly of all a seal master that has achieved immortality.

Other than that they have no idea how I will fight. They have no idea that they will go to battle against a Sage. They have no idea that they will face someone capable of using all five elements. They have no idea that they will face me. That lack of information will give me an edge that could win me the fight. It might be the deciding factor as I face off against the pairs of the Akatsuki.

Yet even above all of that, it was too soon to kill them because the world doesn't fear them yet. All the jinchuuriki are safe and accounted for. The Akatsuki hasn't raided a major village yet. To the world as a whole they're still flying under the radar. As much as I don't want to admit it, I can't win this fight alone. I need assistance from the Big Five at the least, even if it is just a heightened security around the jinchuuriki because eventually I'll have to take this fight to the Akatsuki. I can't play the passive waiting game, only popping up to counter their moves. I have to make moves of my own but I can't leave the prizes unguarded.

Not to mention Naruto is supposed to master the Rasenshuriken by using it on Kakuzu. If the worst happens and I fail to stop the Fourth Shinobi War from sparking, we're going to need Naruto to be damn good at that jutsu.

Shit, how is Naruto doing? I can't rely on my knowledge of him as much as I'd like, he had a major change right from the start. Jiraiya took him from day one, not day… uh… whenever the hell it happened in the plot. I've just been assuming that he's equal to or greater than his plot counterpart. For all I know he could be vastly different from what I remember. I should really get Shirokumo to get some eyes on him, check in on things. Yeah, I think I'll do that.

"OI DUMB NUTS!" Fuu shouts at me as she full on punches me in the chest.

I stumble backwards, totally not expecting the blow, and land flat on my ass.

"Where the hell did all my shinobi training go?" I mutter out to myself in disappointment. "I just won - I'm calling that a win - against two S-rank shinobi and I get knocked on my ass by a teenage girl throwing a tantrum? That's embarrassing. No way around it."

I push myself up off the ground and dust off my pants in a very unflattering way. I'm basically vigorously rubbing my butt to knock the dust off. Classy.

"Oh sorry." I look towards Fuu whose fist is still extended from when she hit me. "Did you say something?"

Konoha

"KAKASHI! I CHALLENGE YOU! FIRST ONE TO SCALE THE HOKAGE MONUMENT WITHOUT USING CHAKRA!" A man wearing a sinful amount of green bellows out in the middle of a busy street. "Kakashi? Hello?"

"Oh sorry." A familiar mop of white hair sways as the owner looks up from his book. "Did you say something - ACHOO!"

"ACHOO!" I violently sneeze. "That was weird. I haven't sneezed in years. Anyways, you were saying?"

"You know what, nevermind." Fuu turns away from me and heads back towards Kegon and Yoro. "Thanks for the save. Even if it was… kinda from myself? I saw what went on when I was paralyzed. Those two, that Kakuzu guy particularly, they're something else. So thanks."

"Not a problem. Just don't expect me to be there the next time." I awkwardly look around from Fuu to Yoro to Kegon. "So… uh… don't mess with people with red clouds on black cloaks. Don't… hm… hunt them down as revenge. That would be stupid, like literally giving them the bijuu. Don't… what else is there? Oh! Don't try and follow me or try to figure out who I am. That's a really bad idea. Also incase it wasn't blatantly clear, I am not Orochimaru so get that out of your heads now. It'll save everyone a headache. And… uh… I think that's it? I guess this is goodbye then. Wow this is so weird, usually I've killed everyone and there's no one to say goodbye to."

"This is the guy who saved us." Yoro mutters under his breath to Kegon.

"I know." Kegon shakes his head in shame. "Why are all the strong people so weird?"

"I can hear you." I call out to the two mutterers. "Probably should wait till I leave to talk smack about the guy who saved you all from two S-rank threats. Cuz doing that in front of me will end so well for you both. You two didn't forget that I literally made and commanded a storm right?"

"Sorry?" Kegon and Yoro squeak out at the same time.

"And on that lovely note I'm outta here!" I smoothly turn away from the group and casually stroll into the trees, hopefully to never see them again. "Try to not do anything stupid, will you? I hate cleaning up other's messes."

Akatsuki Headquarters, Two Days Later

Seven astral presences are gathered in a circle with two more flesh and blood bodies. The Akatsuki has convened to hear of the Zombie Combo's success and to plan when to start sealing the Seven Tails.

That was the original intention of this scheduled meeting. Everything changed after hearing two words come out of Kakuzu's mouth.

"We failed." The brisk and gruff ancient shinobi grunts out as he braces for the snide comments from the rest of his group.

But the remarks at his and Hidan's expense never came. The only response he got was several heads swiveling towards him. Every single person is looking at him in surprise. Even the ever stoic Itachi has a reaction. His eyebrows raised up a fraction of a millimeter.

"Kakuzu." One of the two actual bodies, the one known as Pain, speaks. "Repeat what you just said."

"We failed." Kakuzu repeats with even less enthusiasm than before, a feat few thought possible. "Or more accurately, we were stopped."

"Some fucking heathen in a Jashin-sama damn mask and a stupid fancy sword just popped up out of nowhere!" Hidan - who is miraculously in one piece - chimes in. His eyes are bloodshot and spittle flies from his mouth with every word. "Oh I'm going to have so much fun cutting him to bits and pieces! I can't wait till I get my hands on his little neck and squeeze!"

"Kakuzu, how about you translate that for us?" Kisame asks.

"Someone stands against us." Kakuzu bluntly informs the rest of the Akatsuki. "He's strong, the jutsu at his command is impressive and I fear that I've only seen the surface of what he's capable of. He was capable of dissecting my attacks with ease, he wasn't caught off guard by a single one. He named them as he saw them and reacted in the most favorable way possible when faced with them. He's a seal master, one capable of sealing away my jutsu with premade scrolls with ease and capable of crafting a sword that can seal away what it touches. Hidan proved that point."

"A sword that seals away what it touches." Itachi says, more to himself than anything, and his blazing Sharingan eyes narrow.

"A sword wielder?" Kisame grins a toothy sharklike grin and hefts his trusty blade onto a shoulder. "Sounds like my kind of guy. What's his weapon like? One of the Seven?"

"No, it is like nothing I've seen before. Grooved metal cylinder. Pale red blade made entirely of chakra. Once stabbed Hidan was sucked into the hilt and was released once it was broken. It is unknown if he survived only due to his immortality or if the sword was made that way." Kakuzu systematically dissects the important bits as requested. "He claimed it was a prototype, that it was not yet perfected. He also said it would explode soon but I destroyed it before it could."

"It might be fun to cross blades with this guy." Kisame thinks aloud. "Been awhile since I've faced a competent bladesman."

"He's not a bladesman." Kakuzu easily dismisses the notion. "He didn't favor the weapon and didn't seem bothered when I took it from him. His attacks with it seemed… rudimentary for lack of a better term. Like he was still learning how to properly use it."

"You mentioned he used jutsu?" Deidara asks as he adjusts his hair hanging in front of his face.

"The fucker had a storm going!" Hidan shouts out. "A storm! Lightning and wind and water and everything!"

"What he means to say is that somehow this nameless shinobi conjured a storm that he had control over." Kakuzu translates without prompting. "He could will lightning to fall from the sky, the wind leapt to his command to slice, and the rain sharpened itself before dropping from the clouds. It was truly formidable. Very few shinobi could stand against such a jutsu, I count all of us within that number."

"Good." Pain speaks a single word and all eyes dart to him. "Ninjutsu type shinobi can be worked around with the proper planning, especially when alone."

"I do not think he's a ninjutsu specialist." Kakuzu takes over the conversation once more. Any and all information is crucial. "He had seals on his chest, one of each element, and three of them were lit up like stars the entire time the jutsu was going. If I had to hazard a guess the seals somehow let him use those elements. Potentially enhanced his abilities with them too. Best to not let him place the seals on his chest, it's a mistake I won't make again."

"Not a bladesman but uses a sword." Sasori cuts in and pins Kakuzu in an intense gaze. "Not a ninjutsu type but uses jutsu that leaves even you impressed. What is he then?"

"He's a Jashin-sama damned heathen that will burn for eternity that's what he is!" Hidan shouts out as his eyes go even more blood shot. "I'm not even fully healed yet! That was two fucking days ago!"

"He's a seal master." Kakuzu - and everyone else - elects to ignore Hidan's outburst. "One that, even on top of all his previous abilities and traits, claims to have achieved immortality."

"A third immortal?" Konen asks as she shoots Pain a sideways glance.

"Fourth technically." Sasori cuts in yet again. "Muffins share's Kakuzu's Jiongu. He's immortal too."

"Yeah, I cut his head off and he's still kicking!" Kisame has a fond smile on his face that looks much more creepy than fond as he remembers meeting his new pet. "Good ol' Muffins. I should go see how he's doing, it's been years! Wait, you don't think..."

"Alvarcus Mar has grown formidable in his own right." Itachi speaks, and much like with Pain everyone listens. Less out of respect and more out of surprise, Itachi is a quiet individual. "But he's not quite at that level yet, nor does he use seals of such a high tier. He also has no need for seals that grant additional affinites. From the reports on his fights the only thing that remains consistent is that he is far from subtle and delicate. Something as precise and calculated as seals seems… out of character for him. He favors the flashy and dramatic."

"That storm was really fucking flashy and dramatic!" Hidan snarls out.

"It was also his trump card." Kakuzu growls out menacingly. "Yet it's easily counterable, simply do not fight him outdoors. In a confined space he won't be able to conjure the storm. Perhaps even underground."

"Kakuzu." Pain speaks once more and the conversation halts for him. "Who is he?"

"I can't confirm anything but I have my suspicions. Only one other person has reacted so smoothly to me before. Only one other person has ever picked apart my repertoire of jutsu before. Only one other person seemed to be able to read me the exact same moment I made a move. Only one other person has command over such extreme jutsu. I fear we face something that hasn't happened before. Itachi." Kakuzu growls out as he pins the young man in a steely cold gaze. "What are the odds that another Uchiha survived your Massacre?"