Naruto: The Unwoven Threads of Fate

The Break Lounge

"Hey Sasuke!" I shout out into the break lounge. I really had no need to shout, the break lounge isn't that big and only Sasuke is here but I wanted to see if I could make him jump. I didn't. Stupid shinobi training.

"What can I do for you?" He casually asks as he sips a steaming cup of coffee. He's idly resting in a very plush armchair - mine is totally better by the way - and reading a book about high level elemental chakra shape change. Probably messing around with the Chidori some more. I have no idea why, he's already discovered loads of new ways to use it.

"You up for a mission with me and Kabuto for two weeks? Probably less. I kinda need you to make sure I don't accidentally fly off the handle and kill him. You know, the usual Kabuto shit." I stroll into the room, unseal my own armchair and sprawl out in it. What? Is it weird to carry around furniture with you wherever you go? Strange, no one ever told me that. "It's a good mission, I promise."

"My kind of a good mission or your kind?" He asks while looking at me over the rim of his coffee mug. "There's a distinct difference."

"Fair enough." I concede the point to him. I like the flashy missions. The ones where I get to show off and hurl jutsu around like it's going out of style and potentially mentally scar someone for life. He's a softer touch. He likes the ones where someone dies by a blade to the throat and he's half a country away before it's discovered. "But this is a good one. It's a search and retrieve mission."

"Interesting. What are we getting?" He closes his book and sets it on the table next to his chair.

"Nothing too terribly difficult, neither Orochimaru or Kabuto know that I've got access to a spy network so finding one shouldn't be an issue." I lean forward dramatically and in a very serious tone continue. "We are tasked with getting a Hirai - what the hell are you wearing?"

"Oh this?" Sasuke pinches his shirt between two fingers and tugs it slightly. "I needed new clothes and there were a bunch of these laying around in all sizes."

He's in his Shippuden style now. White shirt that's open at the front. A muted blue piece of fabric that's wrapped around his waist and falls down near his knees. Dark blue shinobi grade pants and appropriate combat footwear for a shinobi. But there's a single travesty. One that cannot stand.

A giant purple rope belt.

"No. No. Absolutely not." I stand up and fly through handsigns. "There's no fucking way in hell I'm letting you wear that."

"What? It's functional." Sasuke defends his choice of attire a moment before his eyes, now blazing red to read my handsigns, widen a fraction. "Hey now, there's no need for that."

"Functional?" I borderline snarl at him. "Functional! It's a giant piece of dyed rope! How in the blazes of hell is that functional! It's big! It's bulky! It gets caught on things! It makes you memorable, you stick out in a crowd! It's got to throw your balance off! Not to mention that it's got to be heavy! You really want to run long distances while hauling that thing with you! Hell no! It goes!"

"Okay okay I get it!" Sasuke stands up and slowly starts backing away from me while waving his hands in a placating gesture. "But do you really need to go that far?"

"Apparently I do." My eyes narrow and I take a large step towards the door, cutting off his only escape route. "You put the damn thing on, time to man up and face the consequences. Summoning Jutsu: The Weavers!"

"Oh shit all of them?!" Sasuke actually leaps to the back wall to put as much space between him and the sudden gaggle of spiders that poofed into existence. "Really? One would have been fine!"

"Ladies." I regally rise up to my full height as I address the ten spiders before me.

"It's Alvarcus!"

"Hello Summoner!"

"It's been so long! How have you been? Need anything, perhaps a new wardrobe or four?"

"I didn't summon you all here for me, you all have done such fantastic work for me before." With a single gesture from an arm I point towards the definitely-not-cowering-in-a-corner Sasuke. "He needs a makeover. You have ten minutes."

"You heard him ladies! Let's get to it!" A familiar spider with a purple scarf shouts out a battle cry as the whole mob descends on Sasuke.

"I don't consent to this!" Sasuke shouts as he scales the wall. The spiders don't even slow down, they scamper up right after their prey. Er… model. "I don't consent to this!"

"Give in!" I shout back at him as I fly through the Summoning jutsu one more time. "Don't make me sick Sureddo on you! You know I will!"

"Sup Al - oh wow." Shirokumo softly lands on my head as all eight of his eyes roam around the room taking in the sights of Sasuke miraculously avoiding ten huge spiders. He's pinballing all around the room to avoid them, every single surface is fair game. He's doing surprisingly well too, but the Weavers are starting to spread their webs across the room and making his pinballing much harder. He knows that one touch and it's all over. "Sucks to be him."

"It's his fault for wearing that monstrosity." I scathingly hiss out between clenched teeth.

"Right… so what's up?" Shirokumo smartly elects to ignore my last sentence. "You need something? I get the feeling that this isn't for a chat. Since… that's going on. Damn he's a wily one, still not caught yet."

"Give it time. He'll get snared." I assure Shirokumo as I place my back on the door. Sasuke will have to go through me or through a wall to escape. The wall is easier to go through. "Anyways you're right. I've got a quick question, any idea where a -"

"Fire Release: Phoenix Flower Jutsu!" Sasuke spits out multiple small firebolts that burn through the webs that have started to overtake the room.

"OI! WE'RE ON A TIME LIMIT DIPSHIT! JUST GIVE IN ALREADY!" I shout up at him. The dick ran out of room to maneuver so he made room. I'd applaud his creativity but he's just wasting my time at this point. He knows that he's going to lose this one, it's just a matter of time. "Like I was saying, any idea where a Hiraishin Kunai is? Turns out Orochimaru wants one."

"That's what this mission is about!?" Sasuke asks/shouts as he leaps off a wall, uses one hand to reach out and touch the ceiling to glue himself to it for a brief moment so he can change his momentum by ninety degrees to avoid leaping into the waiting legs of two very eager spiders. Instead he lands on the wall above me and his crimson eyes rapidly bounce between me and the door.

"Don't even think about it." My words are accompanied by a glare and dozens of black threads that slowly sneak out of the collar of my jacket. "You go for the door and it's game over. You know I'm damn good at restraining people."

"Yeah but you usually just kill them!" Sasuke shouts as he springs off his spot a moment before four sticky webs shoot from four different points of origin slam into the wall right where he was.

"Orochimaru wants a Hiraishin Kunai. You sure that's a good idea?" Shirokumo asks me with a hint of concern. "It's one hell of a technique."

"True, but do you really think the Fourth Hokage was stupid enough to not encode or have a defense mechanism in place on them? Seriously, the guy was known for lacing entire battlefields with them as an opening move. Do you really think that no one has ever tried to reverse engineer the Hiraishin before because he left one on the battlefield?"

"Fair point, but this is Orochimaru we're talking about. He's not your average seal user." Shirokumo boops me in the head with one of his legs. "Remember, he's the seal master that taught you the art."

"It doesn't matter." I dismiss his concerns with a wave of my hand. Even though he's on my head and not before me. It looked really awkward. I was just waving like an idiot. "I can always trash the kunai before giving it to him. It's not that far of a leap to say it got damaged due to the ravishes of time. The Fourth has been dead for what, fifteen or sixteen years?"

"Good enough for me." Shirokumo shrugs. It's a weird thing when you have eight legs, it's more of a body bob at that point. "Easiest one to get that's still intact is in the Ruins of Roran on the northern border of Suna. It's just hanging out stabbed into the ground. Figured you'd want to look at one before trashing it, who knows? You might learn something."

"Thanks buddy." I turn my attention from the spider to the teenager still bouncing around the room. "Sasuke, you brought this on yourself."

"Please don't." Sasuke says flatly but I know it's really a pleading whine. Even more impressive is how he managed to dive through the legs of three spiders on the ceiling. Do you have any idea how hard that must have been? That's twenty four legs to weave around while fighting gravity!

"We've wasted enough time." Four inky black masses of threads spill out of the bottom of my jacket and quickly take shape into hulking humanoid figures. "Sureddo, fetch."

Front Gates

"You're late." Kabuto condescendingly says to me as he pushes his glasses up his nose with a single finger.

"Blame him." I swat Sasuke in the shoulder and he and I walk right past Kabuto out the doors.

"How the hell was that my fault?" Sasuke says as he fails to suppress a shiver. "You didn't have to do any of that!"

"Giant purple rope belt." There's a serious amount of hate in those four words. It practically drips off them.

"There's no reasoning with you, is there?" Sasuke groans out as he hangs his head in shame. "At least the replacement clothes are decent."

"Decent?" He's wearing something much more appropriate. Surprisingly, it's similar to his academy dress. A dark blue three quarter sleeve shirt - though this one zips in the front and is covered in pockets - and instead of white shorts he's wearing dark grey pants. Also covered in pockets. You can never have too many pockets. He's also got a black leather belt around his waist - much smaller than the purple rope one - to strap his sword to. "Decent! That's the Weaver's work you're talking about there! You have no idea how much people would pay for that outfit! We're talking the same amount as an A-rank mission! Though pockets aren't really fashionable so maybe a B-rank instead. Either way it's fucking expensive!"

"This is how the entire mission is going to be, isn't it?" My glasses wearing nemesis mutters to himself as he follows Sasuke and me. "Now you two, we're going to head to a largely populated area and start… inquiring about the location of one of these kunai. There's probably a few in museums or in collector's vaults. Either way, the more people in one spot the better odds of us bumping into one."

"He doesn't know." Sasuke shares a knowing smirk with me. "Does he?"

"Nope!" I cheerfully pop the 'p' in my smug response. "Kabuto has absolutely no idea that I already know where one is."

"Alvarcus." Kabuto says with a hint of a warning in his voice.

Too bad for him I don't give a shit about it. If we were to fight I'm literally the worst person for him to go against. All of his medical knowledge, years upon years spent building up his vast amount of knowledge of the human body, are rendered inert against me. I don't have organs for him to target and those that he did hit would just stitch themselves back together. What about my hearts? Well who says they're where everyone else's heart is?

"Yes team leader?" I sassily smile at the medic nin. Just because he's my superior doesn't mean I have to play nice with him. It just means that I am 'strongly encouraged' to follow direct orders.

"Where is it?" Kabuto asks with a narrowing of his spectacle shielded eyes.

"Where is what?" My sassy smile widens.

"Dear god it's like he's channeling Kakashi." Sasuke mutters as his own smirk grows a fraction. "Next thing we know he'll be going on about the path of life and getting lost on it."

"Ah yes, the mysterious path of life. It's full of wrong turns, pitfalls, and traps." I sagely nod as both of my eyes curl into a mocking of Kakashi's eye smile. "Such a dangerous journey but one we must all embark on. The path before us is treacherous-"

"Alvarcus where is the location of the Hiraishin kunai?" Kabuto cuts in forcefully. "You're toeing the line of insubordination already. Orochimaru-sama won't be pleased to know you are going against his wishes so soon."

"I was getting to it but someone interrupted me!" I accusingly glare at Kabuto. If this mission is going to be hell for me, it'll be hell for him too. I hope someone attacks us and kills him. That'd be perfect. Oh shit can I pull another Sound Three on this mission? This… this could change so much. Removing him right here and now would save hundreds if not thousands of lives. It would completely remove the Edo Tensi from the Fourth Shinobi War if it comes to that. I'm going to file that under things to revisit later. "As I was saying, the path before us is treacherous, but journeying to the northern border of Suna to the Ruins of Roran shouldn't be too difficult for the three of us."

"Don't withhold crucial mission information." Kabuto lectures me as he pushes his glasses back up his nose. It's like he's looking down his damn nose at me while adjusting them. It's freaking weird.

"Ahem." Sasuke clears his throat and looks at Kabuto expectantly with a raised eyebrow and crossed arms. "I believe you forgot something there. A little thing called civility."

"Please." Kabuto forces out through clenched teeth. "Don't withhold crucial mission information please."

"I'll look into it." I take off at a moderate run without looking back. I know Sasuke can match this pace, he's a stamina freak. He can keep a set pace for hours and hours. I'm just hoping that this pace will tire Kabuto out. Total dick move but I can't seem to bring myself to care. "I'll take point and get us there. We're going to swing around Fire Country and avoid that mess, it'll add some time to our trip but it's worth it. If that's acceptable team leader?"

"Acceptable." Kabuto fall in pace behind Sasuke who is behind me. "As the medic nin I'll remain in the rear support role. As the most suited to front line assault combat Alvarcus will take point for the journey. Sasuke will defend me while supporting you from range, very fitting for an Uchiha based in ninjutsu and genjutsu. I severely doubt we'll run into something the three of us can't make short work of."

"Kabuto." Sasuke says as he sends an almost glare over his shoulder. "You're on your own in combat. Alvarcus and I work as a unit. It's when we're at our most deadly. Just focus on staying alive, he and I will be just fine."

"We are, for the foreseeable future, a team. Which I am in charge of." Kabuto lectures the both of us while raising himself up to his full height. "That means Alvarcus takes the front. You defend me, the medic nin, while assisting him from a distance. I will clean you two up when you're done, or in the middle of battle. It's simple team tactics, the medic nin is the most valuable because I keep you alive when death comes for you."

"You keep me alive? That's cute." I can't help but snort out in dark amusement. "But whatever. If that's the marching order I have no problem with it. I know where I'm going. Besides, do either of you think we're actually going to run into anyone on this mission? We're just picking up a kunai in the middle of nowhere. Literally nowhere."

"He's got a point." Sasuke reluctantly admits. "How bad can it be?"

Konoha, The Hokage's Office

"First thing first." Tsunade shuffles some papers on her desk and scoots them off to the side for later. Unfortunately for her she's got something more important to deal with before returning to the last of the paperwork she has for today. It was an unusually small mountain today and she's looking forward to having an early day. "How was your first week back Naruto?"

"It's great to be back!" A very familiar and exuberant shinobi exclaims with too much enthusiasm."I've got to say hello and catch up with so many people. I got to eat the world's best ramen again, oh man did I miss that! Even better I've finally gotten away from the Pervy-Sage for more than a few hours! I can finally relax again! It's the best!"

"I'm glad you're adjusting so well." Tsunade can't help but smile at Naruto. There's something about him that she can't help but like. It's almost like he's still maintained a degree of innocence despite his profession. "But I can't afford to have shinobi sit on the bench forever. I know it's only been a week since your training with Jiraiya finished but… are you up for a mission?"

"Hell yeah I am!" Naruto exclaims as he slams his fists together for extra emphasis. "I'll tackle whatever you throw at me! What do you need? Save a princess? Topple another government?"

"Which you weren't supposed to do." Tsunade dryly points out but Naruto continues on without hearing her.