No, How Can an Atheist Become a Saintess!?

No, How Can an Atheist Become a Saintess!? – 1

EP.1

Chapter 1

Candidate and Candidate (1)

For the past 15 years—up until I turned twenty, which is the age of adulthood in this country—I had tried my hardest to get kicked out of the convent. Turns out, it was much harder than I thought.

Being a rational and reasonable person, I had carefully considered ways to leave the convent without committing any crimes. But the laws in this theocratic country were far more rational than I had anticipated.

In this nation, convents and monasteries act as orphanages, and the idea of “replacing orphanages” is embedded in the country’s welfare system. Unless a child causes some serious trouble, they can’t just leave the orphanage. No welfare system in any world would take a child’s desire to abandon their guardians and become independent at face value.

Especially if there had been no abuse. In that case, the fault would naturally lie with the child, not the guardians.

By the standards of this world, the convent I was in had no particular issues, so the only impression I left behind was that of a rebellious troublemaker who had been pushing back since childhood.

So much for getting kicked out—by the time I reached adulthood, I had ended up graduating from high school while still living in the convent.

By the way, the graduation ceremony was two days from now.

…

Due to a personal issue that had only recently come to my attention, I requested a meeting with the Mother Superior.

“You must have gone through a lot. It sounds like you’ve been dealing with some challenges, Sister.”

She said as she set a cup of tea in front of me. Then, she returned to her seat and looked at me calmly.

“No, don’t just brush it off as ‘some challenges,’ okay? Someone’s been waiting for me to leave the convent so they can confess their feelings! This has been going on since I started high school! You understand, right? At this rate, the moment I leave, I’m going to get hit with a love confession!”

“Sister, if someone confesses, you can always just turn them down…”

“I don’t want to! I really don’t!”

Me, receiving a confession? From a guy? Absolutely not. No way.

“Um, Sister, are you saying you want to give up on leaving the convent…?”

“No, of course I’ll leave. I just want to postpone it for a few years.”

“Sister, I’m sorry to say this, but without a legitimate reason, postponing your departure from the convent ‘temporarily’ is not allowed under the current system.”

The voice coming from behind the partition now had the unmistakable tone of a bureaucrat.

And honestly, she wasn’t wrong. In this world, the church’s religion was the official state religion. While attending church wasn’t mandatory, it was strongly encouraged in many ways. On certain holidays, it was practically required.

“But…”

“Also, as long as you remain here, Sister, you are expected to uphold your duties as a nun, including maintaining your vow of chastity. This includes the religious studies you’ve been resisting so strongly. I’m sorry, but the church cannot provide shelter for those who lack faith.”

“Well, that’s…”

“And since you mentioned a ‘temporary’ stay, I should also add that one of the ways to extend your stay at the church temporarily is to pursue a degree in theology.”

“…….”

“A theologian doesn’t necessarily have to be a nun or a monk, but unfortunately, Sister, your knowledge of scripture is below the average of your peers.”

I couldn’t argue with that. It was true, after all. Someone who rejects the idea of God naturally spends more time studying science than scripture. As a result, my theology scores were practically non-existent.

“If you believe you are being stalked, I suggest you contact the police after your departure from the convent.”

Secular matters should be handled by secular institutions. That was also true. That’s why I had been trying to delay my departure in the first place!

In this world, attending church is considered a virtuous habit. Even though this version of South Korea is a theocratic state, it hasn’t completely rejected the secular world. The church manages both religious affairs and some aspects of social welfare, and it cooperates with law enforcement only in matters related to incidents beyond the Gates.

No one would completely deny the conveniences people enjoyed back when the country was a secular state, as that would be too great a loss. So even if there were people coming to church just to stalk a nun, it wouldn’t be a problem.

To be honest, I could sense about seven people who gave me the creeps every time I saw them at church. Still, they were here to pray, weren’t they?

Moreover, church rules forbid anyone from casually approaching a nun, so these suspected stalkers didn’t dare speak to me. If they did, they’d get into serious trouble.

While nuns are allowed to go out, underage nuns are never allowed to go anywhere alone. Back in my world, nuns could ride buses and take the subway by themselves, but here, clergy have the ability to wield divine power, and those who can are considered rare and valuable. Nuns generally move in groups, and if the church deems someone particularly important, they are assigned a personal guard. That much seemed reasonable to me.

The problem is, with such strict protection, there’s no way to prove that someone is actually a stalker.

Well, if I’m being “rational and logical,” maybe they aren’t really stalkers. They could just be guys who are waiting for the right moment to confess their feelings, ordinary men who’ve fallen for me.

…

No, even thinking of it that way makes me sick.

“Sister, I hesitate to bring this up now, but…”

Of course. I knew exactly what was coming, something I’d heard all too often. Still, at least for the moment, I couldn’t escape. I was planning to stick around for at least another year or two, after all.

“If, as I mentioned before, you followed the nun’s rule of properly hiding your hair under the veil, refrained from dyeing part of your hair, and removed that peculiar belt under your chest, perhaps you wouldn’t attract so much attention from those individuals.”

I mean, I was planning to stay a bit longer, but…

“Mother Superior, with all due respect, crimes like sexual harassment or worse don’t happen just because a woman expresses herself a little.”

“……”

Oops.

“So, what you’re saying is that your appearance was not intended to attract the attention of the male congregants?”

Uh…

“I’ve mentioned this several times before, but given the current situation, let’s go over it one more time.”

The Mother Superior cleared her throat and began speaking calmly.

“As far as I understand, you haven’t been particularly diligent in your study of the scriptures. That’s fine. Most of this country’s church laws are based on customary law, and you can’t be punished for being a little less faithful. Prayer is only meaningful if offered with sincere devotion; mere observance of rituals is pointless, after all. And let’s not forget, you didn’t choose to become a nun of your own free will.”

Once again, she reminded me that orphans in this country are mostly taken in by the church. It’s one of the ‘welfare’ systems the church has inherited. In this world, I had no parents, so I had been raised in this convent from childhood.

“But moving on,”

The Mother Superior continued.

“Shortly after being named a candidate for sainthood, you sent a letter directly to the Cardinal. In it, you bluntly stated that you didn’t believe the entity called ‘God’ in this world was actually a god, and that you were unworthy of being a saintess.”

“Well, yes, but…”

“And the furious Cardinal revoked many of the privileges you could have had as a candidate. Do you not remember how much effort Father and I put into keeping you from being summoned for heresy charges?”

“…I am still very sorry about that…”

“Frankly, I don’t understand how someone with such immense divine power could live a life so distant from ‘faith.'”

I didn’t have much to say to that. Mostly because I didn’t understand it either. To be honest, I had a nagging suspicion that the so-called ‘god’ of this world had given me these abilities just to mess with me.

“Ugh.”

The Mother Superior exhaled deeply, then took a sip of her green tea. After glancing at me, bowed in silence, she spoke again, more gently this time.

“There is a way, though.”

“Really?”

I shot up my head, filled with hope. But she only smiled bitterly.

“You could, even now, confess your faith and declare your intention to rejoin the ranks of sainthood candidates. Although your official privileges were revoked, your candidacy status is still valid.”

“Huh?”

“The title of ‘candidate for sainthood’ is just that—an aspiring title. You’re still fundamentally a nun. And, considering the extraordinary abilities you possess, we do grant you certain allowances. But who are we to downgrade a position given by the Lord?”

Wait a second. Isn’t this whole sainthood thing just something humans came up with? It’s not like someone from above declared, ‘This one is a saint.’ At least, that’s not how it went in the most recent chapters I’d read.

“Think it over carefully and let me know. There’s still a little time, isn’t there?”

“Ah, um, Mother Superior!”

“I understand.”

She gently placed her hand over mine, smiling warmly.

“Sister, deep down, I believe you serve Him faithfully. You’re just rejecting His presence because the wounds from your childhood are too painful.”

The Mother Superior said gently.

But that wasn’t the case at all. I held my tongue, though, because I had a feeling that saying anything might crush even the faintest sliver of hope I had left. People who are already religious can’t be persuaded no matter what you say. And in this world, even if I don’t believe in God, these people have evidence of something that undeniably exists.

“Oh my.”

She said as a soft white beam of light appeared above my head the moment I thought about that ‘entity’—the one that’s treated like a god but isn’t really a god. The Mother Superior seemed impressed by the sight, and it wasn’t until I noticed her reaction that I realized what was happening. I quickly waved it away like one would a fly, and just like that, the light scattered like smoke.

“Sister, that—”

I stayed silent, my lips pressed tight, and after a long sigh, the Mother Superior continued.

“This light seems to prove, in its way, that you do possess faith.”

That light? It’s probably just that entity trying to mess with me again. Of course, I had enough self-control not to say something like that to her face.

“Very well. People are called to different paths. If sainthood isn’t the path for you, I won’t force you.”

She said, studying me thoughtfully.

“There are, in fact, a few other ways you could stay here a bit longer without becoming a saintess or pursuing theology.”

“Really!?”

I leaned forward eagerly, and the Mother Superior nodded lightly.

“First, you could join the church’s knight order. Even though you’ve missed quite a few lessons, I trust you’re aware of the order within the church?”

Of course, I was. In this world, much like other similar settings, there’s an organization called the “Hunter’s Association” for the secular world. However, the association here isn’t the only one; its name changes depending on whether it’s labeled as ‘National,’ ‘Korean,’ or ‘United.’ There are also private companies operating similar to guilds in the civilian sphere.

Similarly, the church runs its own version of these organizations, called the ‘Order of Knights,’ in case their support is needed. Still, I found the use of the term ‘knights’ a bit cringeworthy. It had only been about ten years since the religion had emerged, so why are they using a name like that?

But I guess it made sense. The church has inherited some of the structure of older religious institutions. Pointing out all these little things would just be exhausting.

“However, you’re unlikely to pass the entrance exam, Sister, especially since you won’t be able to recite scripture from memory.”

That meant there really was some way.

“But,” she added, “there is a way to get in through a recommendation.”

“Which means…!”

I gasped.

“I’m not saying I’ll recommend you myself.”

The Mother Superior said, cutting off my anticipation before she’d even finished speaking. I slumped back in my seat, feeling deflated.

“However, I can recommend someone who might have the power to recommend you in the future.”

She added with a cryptic smile.

“…That sounds like a very ambiguous position.”

“At the moment, yes, her position is somewhat ambiguous. But once she moves beyond her ‘candidate’ status, and as long as you remain on good terms with her, she’ll be someone who could ensure no one dares touch you.”

Oh.

I leaned forward again, intrigued.

“Who is it?”

“Starting tomorrow, she will be walking the same path of training as you. Her name is Sister Lee Chae-eun. You may have heard of her.”

“…Ah.”

I had heard of her. In this life and the previous one.

“Even after you graduate, you won’t be forced to vacate your room right away. Typically, graduates are given until the end of May to figure out their next steps—whether that’s pursuing further education or entering the workforce.”

In other words, I had until then to get close to this Lee Chae-eun.

“And the other option?”

“Once again, I suggest reclaiming your position as a candidate for sainthood.”

She said with a calm smile, sipping her tea as though she hadn’t just dropped another bomb on me.

I was at a loss for words.