Reborn as the Clown Prince

"Mr. J, I'm back!" the charming blonde exclaimed, kicking open the door. She was holding a bulky gym bag in her hands.

"Ah! What!" I jumped up on the couch, not yet understanding what was happening, but the overwhelming feeling of pain reminded me that I was still in this gloomy world. "... Good morning, Harley. How did everything go?"

"Great!" the girl answered enthusiastically with something pleased. "I've even started to carry out your plan!"

What? What's the plan? Did I really talk about mining buildings out loud?!

"Harley, could you clarify what the plan is?"

"The one in which we must become heroes! It even bore the first fruits!"

What? When did she get there?

She continued talking, not noticing my dumbfounded look.

"Imagine, I'm sneaking through the streets of the city like a ninja, and I hear a cry for help! Naturally, I remembered your words that we are now real heroes, so I hurried to help!"

"How much did you help?" It was only now that I noticed a small leather purse on her shoulder, which clearly did not match her outfit, and doubt crept into my heart… Although it would be more accurate to say that it did not leave there…

"Of course! There were only two attackers, so I quickly calmed them down by breaking their legs and recaptured what they had stolen!" harlequin shook the purse I'd noticed earlier.

"Harley, I don't want to upset you, but heroes return such things…"

"That's how I tried to get it back! But that girl burst into tears and told me to take everything for myself… Probably from happiness! Still, it is unlikely that the attackers would have limited themselves to theft," suddenly she jumped up to me and, looking at me with a puppy dog look, asked. "And my heroic deed, by any chance, is not worthy of a reward?"

It's wonderful that she was so enthusiastic about the idea of becoming a heroine, but her methods... it's clear that the rescued girl was terrified of Harley, because where she is, there's a crazy clown who cuts a person, it's like scratching his cheek. And it's still good if he just cuts it, and does not force you to take part in some crazy game… I wouldn't be surprised at all if the failed victim would thank heaven after what happened that she got off with just a purse with things. And now the main question is: how do I explain all this to my assistant? In addition, I have certain guesses about the expected reward, judging by her expectant look and periodically biting lip…

Let's choose an intermediate option! I reached out and gently stroked her head. At first, my assistant was a little surprised, but she gladly accepted such a caress. M-yes… It seems that the previous owner of the body did not pamper her at all with attention.

"You're a smart girl, but the kiss will only be after the buildings are cleared." I decided to remind you of our agreement.

"Excellent!" Harley exclaimed happily.

I'm sure if she had a tail, she would definitely wag it.

"But! I should have left my purse anyway. Heroes should not take money from the rescued!"

"Uh?" she hovered, looking at me with an extremely surprised look. "But what should we live on then?! The medical devices you are connected to costs at least fifteen thousand, but there are more prosaic expenses: food, water, clothes, and now we probably have to pay for electricity…"

This question has stumped me. And how do ordinary characters in comics cope? During the day, Bats turns into a successful billionaire Bruce Wayne, who owns the multibillion-dollar Wayne Enterprises corporation, so he doesn't have to worry about money at all. So this was not the most successful example… Hmm, Superman, aka Clark Kent, normally works as a journalist for the Daily Planet… But he can at any moment move to his hideout somewhere in Antarctica, which he literally grew out of a sunstone: a special programmable crystal from his home planet Krypton. Also not an option… Who do we have of the simpler heroes with the super prefix in the DISNEY universe? Green Arrow – billionaire Oliver Quill… Wonder Woman is a reporter for a newspaper and does not have a secret hideout… Except for the invisible plane that flashed in some comics, and the whole island next to the Bermuda Triangle... Green Lantern? Hal Jordan is quite officially working at Ferris Aircraft, but he does not need shelter, since there is an entire planet of green lanterns... Flash? Barry Allen works as a laboratory assistant at StarLabs and as a courier. It's getting closer, but he doesn't need money to ensure heroism… Unlike in my case…

What is it! Wherever you spit, you'll end up either in a billionaire hero, or in a hero who doesn't really need money… Some kind of bullshit… I won't even be able to get a job as a courier, because I have too remarkable appearance, Harley is not so pale, but to force a poor girl to work for my needs, you need to be a specific goat… Although the original may well have done so.

M? What is it? I was too deep in my thoughts again... My lips felt a pleasant softness…

Harley? I was surprised to find that a girl was kissing me.…

"Harley! I exclaimed, tearing myself away from her lips with difficulty.

"It worked," the flushed blonde smiled, and then jumped back, starting to connect her index fingers in front of her, reminding me of Hinata from the Naruto manga… Only he doesn't faint…

"Harley! We agreed!"

"You stared at one point for three minutes and did not react to anything, then I decided to act like in a fairy tale and wake up the sleeping prince with my kiss!"

"There seemed to be a princess there… Oh, whatever, don't do that anymore. At least until we clear the buildings."

The girl nodded like a dummy, with a happy smile. It looks like someone got to their beloved JJ and now, at every opportunity, they will try to develop physical intimacy. No, I'm not impotent or a prude, I don't mind getting into closer contact with her at all, but until I heal, it will finish me off rather than bring pleasure. Well, to begin with, it's worth getting used to the new world at least a little, and for this you need to avoid getting caught by the night defender of Gotham…

"By the way, I hope no one was following you?"

"Definitely not, if I had sensed surveillance, I would not have returned, besides, I did a good job of wandering around the city, dropping possible observers," the girl returned to the sports bag and pulled out about ten thick notebooks, and then put most of them back, leaving only three. "So, this should be enough…"

Is this really all about the explosive case? It doesn't look like it.…

"Are these all mine clearance books?"

"Well... basically the opposite process is presented here… But there are general principles and methods of creating explosives… Oh, this one from the soap is my favorite!" harlequin exclaimed, quickly flipping through one of the notes.

"And then why the rest? I asked with interest, I doubt that she would keep useless waste paper."

"I decided, since Mr. J has earned amnesia after a stroke, it would be nice to refresh all knowledge.… Disguise, field interrogation, hacking, first aid and anatomy... the last two points: my notes from the university, maybe they will be useful…"

Wow, but really necessary knowledge, especially in my position, even a field interrogation can be useful. I will also need to study the map of the city and find out about all the hiding places and shelters of the Joker, as well as ask for files of newspapers for the last few years, but the last point can wait, I don't want Harley to risk catching the eye of the costumed hero again.

"Great! This is exactly what I need, but first I want to deal with mine clearance… Although the methods of disguise can be useful."

Nodding, the girl took out another notebook and added it to the stack.

Five days filled with studying and exploring a new world flew by unnoticed. The cracked ribs had healed, and only a small bump reminded of the head injury. Already on the second day of the hit, I could move quite tolerably without assistance, which I was extremely glad of. Forty-five points in the First Beginning made themselves felt: I was definitely stronger and stronger than an ordinary person, if it weren't for the pain at the edge of consciousness, it would have been absolutely perfect. As far as I could understand, when falling into chemical waste, the Joker damaged his nervous system and no traditional methods could fix it, although it is possible that the madman could have healed for a long time, but simply did not do it, because it did not interfere much with him. Maybe he even found her useful.… In the morning, it helps to cheer up superbly.

I learned a little more about my/not my life. Judging by the girl's stories, two years ago, a crazy clown appeared almost simultaneously with a bat and immediately took the entire city hostage, having obtained a nuclear warhead somewhere. Then, there was the traditional rescue of the city by the Dark Knight, and the maniac went to Arkham for "treatment", from where, after escaping, he decided to force Batman to break his principles and kill him at all costs. The former owner of the body had already wreaked havoc on Gotham five times, killing about fifty people, most of whom were his minions from various scums, but at the same time, he still crippled thousands of ordinary citizens (severe poisoning of toxins poured into the central reservoir does not benefit anyone)... Harley joined me a year ago and managed to take part in only two relatively large battles, and the last one, with the police chief and schoolchildren, ended with severe injuries to the Joker and my relocation.To summarize, I have committed several serious crimes, for which, in a normal society, the electric chair would be threatened and the girl would be imprisoned for up to twenty years. Then she would go as an accomplice, and a person who has crippled a dozen or two bandits who were trying to rob her, and, by a strange coincidence, were on the list of those killed by the previous owner of this body.

Returning to the current events, I have some good news. The enhanced Sixth Beginning has helped me memorize a decent amount of information and my memory has become almost photographic. There are not many variations of explosives, but there are a great many ways to mine and, accordingly, to clear mines. It is worth adding the insane fantasy of the clown to this, and the result is multi-level fuses that can be activated from almost any sneeze when trying to defuse them. However, they are quite reliable when working at the right time or under certain conditions.

Analyzing some typical solutions, I discovered that the Joker admired Goldberg machines. These are devices that perform a simple action, such as pressing a button, in a complex way. As a rule, this is done through a long sequence of interactions, following the "domino principle". Although in this world, these devices should be named after their creator, their charm lies in the game element. Analyzing and thinking about the interaction options loads the brain and helps to distract from pain, without losing touch with reality.

There was also another positive moment of my forced studies: after studying three notes on the explosive case, I added as many as two points in the sixth beginning, and now there is a magnificent number: 42, which is the answer to all the mysteries of the universe, judging by the film "the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". Naturally, I did not forget about the rest of the notes, having carefully studied each of them and learned a lot of new information for myself, which would have been a dead weight if not for my assistant.

All these days, Harley has practically not left me, acting as a nurse, cook, and teacher. I can't even imagine what I would do without her. Although no, I can imagine it: I would be caught by Bats while trying to get food, and then I would stay in Arkham cooking until I died or until a mass escape of prisoners occurred, when some supervillain needed to wreak havoc on the city. Therefore, the blonde, after learning that I had learned all the available information at the time about my clearance, decided to remind me that this was not a fairy tale and brought an activated bomb that was affectionately painted in green and red and had a huge bow on top of it. Harley placed the bomb in the center of the room while locking the front door and dropping the key into the device.

"Theory without practice is useless!" said the cheerful harlequin.

"Is this a joke?" I asked after examining the device carefully.

Everything said that the bomb was real, and it was almost impossible to survive its explosion in a confined space.

"No, this is the most effective way to consolidate everything you have learned."

"And if I make a mistake," an icy cold shackled my body, as if the breath of death had touched me... and in this world it may not be an allegory at all. As far as I remembered, there are so-called Endless in the DC universe who embody certain aspects and have absolute power in their areas of responsibility: Destiny, Death, Dream, Destruction, Desire, Despair, Delirium. They have existed since time immemorial and are considered the strongest beings in the multiverse.

But back to the conversation.

"Don't worry–

Phew, this is still a deception...

I managed to think, but Harley destroyed my hopes by continuing the phrase.

"–we'll just get together in eternity."

The girl gently hugged me, rubbing her cheek.

Wasted…

"And by the way, you may not remember, but you gave me a similar test, only I was all alone in a room with no light, and only the timer dial illuminated the surrounding space a little," she finished in a sad tone.

Damn, what a moral freak the Joker was. I hugged the girl back. Okay, there doesn't seem to be a timer here, but we're not getting out of here without a key.… Oh, you have to start applying the acquired skills sometime, you can't put off the moment forever.

Releasing Harley, I approached the bomb. Damn my hands are shaking: This is not the case at all…

During these days, I discovered a good feature of the system. In almost all fanfiction, she gave the user some kind of moral stability, helping not to worry about murders or some traumatic events, always maintaining maximum concentration, but mine didn't seem to have such functions, but she could…

"Ha-ha-ha-ha…"

 [Smoothing out emotional peak]

As I should have proved, when I recall the everlost, the system almost immediately returns me to sobriety of mind. Excitement, worry, fear, anger, joy, anger, all this fades into the background, leaving a pure mind devoid of emotions.

My hands are no longer shaking and my fingers are clearly going through the wiring, checking the connection.

 I cracked my fingers, feeling like a pianist performing in front of a huge audience.

"Let's get started!"

This wiring is here, this one is here, close it here, open it here.

To do the same thing with the duplicate circuit, and now I have ten whole seconds before one of the fuses goes off, which must be carefully removed and a short circuit put in its place. Twenty more seconds of operation and the bomb is defused, and the key to the door is taken out.

[The Fifth Beginning (spirit) +1]

The system noted my achievement.

"Bravissimo!" the enthusiastic assistant clapped her hands. "I didn't doubt you a bit!"

The effect of smoothing out the emotional peak passed, and I bowed out, feeling an incomparable feeling of euphoria, getting out of a deadly situation, and even with a profit.

"Now we can go defuse the rest of the bombs! And after that..."

The blonde blushed, putting her hands to her cheeks.

"It's already late today, so we'll go to work tomorrow, anyway, it's still two days before the explosion. What's for dinner tonight?" I asked, unlocking the door with the key I had obtained.

"We finish the leftovers: boiled potatoes and steak," the girl replied, following me into the kitchen.

It is worth mentioning a little about the place that has become my temporary sanctuary in this world. Gotham is an old city with a history spanning four hundred years. The above-ground part of the city is dominated by gloomy Neo-Gothic buildings, as well as areas reserved for industrial structures. The city, located on the east coast of the United States, is often shrouded in heavy clouds that block the light of the sun, adding to its gloom.

In addition to the above-ground part, there is also an underground part which is not inferior in size to the upper city. The gloomy dungeons have no end, they represent not only the branches of the sewer system but also abandoned pumping and water treatment plants, natural caves, unfinished metro stations as well as catacombs dug by occult fanatics. If desired, you can reach any area of the city without ever reaching the surface.

Our shelter is located in several natural caves formed as a result of the earthquake, and consists of four rooms equipped with everything necessary for life. A sturdy steel door leads inside the shelter, hidden from the outside by the wall of the water treatment plant. Upon entering, you find yourself in a central room with a small kitchen and a place to relax: a sofa, and, a coffee table and even a game console, look like an XBox. If you turn right after entering the room, you will find yourself in a bathroom with a shower, toilet and heater. On the left is a warehouse combined with a workshop: explosive, weapons and various materials for creating traps. On the right is my temporary shelter, equipped to provide assistance.

I don't know how the clown managed to organize everything (Harley didn't know, because she joined him later, and the owner didn't want to share his secrets), but everything was really necessary for a comfortable life, including electricity and water, which came in mysterious ways. According to the girl, Joker didn't like the shelter, and he only rested there when he was injured. Most likely, this was because there was no connection with the outside world and the madman needed to know about the latest news.

The dinner was accompanied by Harley's traditional chatter, who shared everything with me, starting with ordinary things like reading art books in Arkham and ending with stories about gang group balance. We didn't discuss this topic, but I knew she was afraid of reviving my memory, because she might again trade me for playing with the Mouse, and despite that, she still tried to help me through these conversations.

I usually participate more in conversations, but today I wasn't in the mood at all because tomorrow I had a responsible task.

"Mr. J, are you upset about something?" the blonde asked, looking anxiously into my eyes.

I don't know why, but I persistently associated her with a dog: the owner may be the last asshole, but she will still faithfully follow him, no matter what.

"I'm thinking about tomorrow… Consider tomorrow my new life as a hero of Gotham will begin... ha-ha-ha, I will be a Hero!"